Ask Ajan Kloss Jedi 101: A Code to Live By

[Aamaw Jokolto]

Aamaw was moving to approach Knight Valentine before he could leave the grove, slowly reaching out a hand to clasp his shoulder and give him the opportunity to pull away if he wished, projecting quiet understanding and acceptance in the Force. Squeezing reassuringly, the Ithorian's chest rumbled as he hummed in thought before speaking, his words meant for Ash but loud enough for others to hear.

"I do not have your experience in combat, my friend, for all that I have faced it in my time as a Knight. I am first and foremost a healer, my battleground begins where the battle ends. You say that you find harmony on the battlefield, but the pain in your voice and the agony I can feel coming from you in waves shows that that is not so. What you find amongst the dead and dying is purpose, and I understand that all too well."

Aamaw carefully drew Ash closer against his side, still gripping his shoulder reassuringly even as he herded him to a fallen log that could serve as a bench and gently nudged him to sit beside him.

"In the three decades I have been a Jedi I have seen more of the cruelty and darkness and senseless loss of the Galaxy than I thought possible. Children dying in my arms from disease or wounds, families broken by the chaos and violence that haunts parts of the galaxy no matter what actions we take to address them; every time I close my eyes I see the faces of those I failed to save. Its enough to drive anyone mad, even a Jedi."

The Ithorian Knight paused for a moment, head bowed and eyes closed against an onslaught of memories. Shaking himself, Aamaw embraced the pain and sadness and regret - allowed it to curl around him like thorny vines and prick against his heart - and then released those feelings into the Force to be washed away by the current.

"But amid that pain and chaos I've found my purpose; for every child I've held and lost, two more have walked away from my clinic healthy and whole. Every sick and injured patient I comfort and return to their loved ones is a victory, and I relish in it. You are meant to be a Guardian, a protector of the innocent. Use moving meditations as my Master did to reach out to the Force while practicing your form. Find a path through the chaos of this galaxy by staying true to your purpose. And learn to forgive yourself for those you couldnt save. That is your path to Harmony."

 

[Oren Zapan]

Oren probably should have held his tongue when it came to Ash, he knew the man was going through something, yet he poked him with a stick to get a reaction. The Jedi felt bad for it, but he wanted the children to see that they were not the Jedi of old, that they experienced negative emotions as well. That they all had their own ghosts and pain. If Ash was to succeed, Oren knew that he would need to learn to accept his past, and his actions, to accept those who passed on and to make peace with himself.

Maybe the man didn't see it now, but hell Oren knew it was harder in practice than to say. He still owed it to his late master, to Byron and to himself to make up. A slight frown formed on his face, "I'm sorry," he'd say in a low tone, "But, I believe that it was best for you to express them, to not them fester inside of yourself. I understand the pain of losing those you were sworn to save, I struggle with it too." He'd say kindly, "Maybe it gets better with time, maybe it won't. It's easier said than done, but I believe we must learn as Brother Aamaw has stated, is to learn to forgive ourselves. For we are Jedi, not perfect creatures."

tag: @Shax

 

[Ash Valentine]

Ash was not moving fast as he made his way out of the grove, in no real rush despite the combined emotions of shame, embarrassment and sadness. Though perhaps he was also subconsciously just waiting for someone to stop him. And stop him they did, thankfully. He stopped to listen to his fellow Knight Jacob speak, and found his words resonated with him. He comes from Vardos, a world wracked by the after effects of the atrocious actions of the Empire. There were plenty of tragedies that happened every day on his homeworld, however he couldn't or wouldn't feel anything about them. They were just there, and whenever people gave their sympathies they seemed so disingenuous. It was only after his own injury and subsequent travels that the idea of tragedy and the awful things in the galaxy became so much more impactful. Maybe he just needed to take a step back and work through the last few years.

He appreciated the words and gave the knight a solemn, sad nod before moving to continue his way out of the grove before stopping once again at the gentle prompting of the Ithorian. Again the words resonated with him. Purpose however, was not the equal to peace. He tried very hard to be on the same path that Aamaw described for himself, and while he was a little concerned his fellow Jedi were getting an inflated idea of his actual combat experience, he wasn't a novice. He always considered himself a healer first and foremost, yet sometimes it was just simpler to end a fight before more people could get hurt. That choosing of a side can be very muddy, never knowing which was right takes its toll and the idea of hurting innocents is repugnant, even unknowingly.

Still, Aamaw was right about taking your victories where you can find them. Ash had certainly helped people, yet it never seemed enough. Some Sisyphean task all Jedi undertook that ultimately proved fruitless. He knew in his heart that he had improved peoples lives for the better, but it was hard to accept when faced with the daunting task of righting the galaxy.

He nodded to Oren as he spoke, though he privately thought he might have found better scenery if he wanted to have some kind of heart to heart where they expressed there emotions. As a Padawan he most certainly had some degree of hero worship for the older Jedi, and seeing one of them brought as low as he is now would be hard to see. And still he disagreed with his idea of Jedi not being perfect. Jedi must be perfect, else how could they save the galaxy like their forebears in Rey Skywalker or the Jedi before her?

"No, I'm sorry. You didn't deserve me snapping at you." He rasped quietly, looking into the mans eyes. He then turned to the rest of the assembled Jedi, "I hope you can forgive me for my outburst, that wasn't right of me. Its merely been a long few weeks." He said with a weak smile, attempting to brush it off. He returned his gaze to Oren and held out his hand, "Forgive me brother?" He asked earnestly.

After waiting for his fellow Jedi's response, he turned to Jacob and Aamaw. "Thank you for your words, they mean more than you might know." He then turned his attention once again to the assembled throng. "On the topic of the code," He let out an embarrassed laugh at his clumsy attempt to bring everything back on topic, "Ignorance, yet Knowledge. This particular line has always given me some modicum of comfort. We can guess and speculate on the meaning of the code, but this one always seemed to be clear to me. We can know many things, such as math or language, how our bodies work or how to build something. Yet we cannot know all. I often find that I must remind myself of the fact that I might not always be right, I might not have all the facts and am judging in haste. Even on the subject of the force we can only know so much. We know that it is, though what it is we still contemplate today. Its comforting to know, that I know nothing." He ended, feeling he could have worded himself better. Meh, he was never one for oration.

@TWD26 @Rom @Deflubber

 

[Rhea Nadal]

It was settling in to be a nice evening of relaxing philosophy. When Larana spoke up in turn, she smiled and nodded along with her; she'd seen the other padawan around, but like with most of them, hadn't ever truly gotten to know her. It was nice to find that they shared similar sentiment.

"Very good."

Rhea looked up at the Knight, and gave him a small nod. Judging by his manner and his inflection, it wasn't too hard to gauge how he actually felt. She'd seen a hundred-score people with that exact same countenance, that sort of mask one put on to make others comfortable at the expense of their own feelings. She'd worn it more then a few times herself. She thought to ask him if everything was okay, but this didn't really seem the right venue for it; she was a padawan besides, and didn't want to disrespect him in front of the younglings.

And then the poodoo hit the hyperdrive.

A late student was just sitting down when Master Zapan broached the subject to Master Valentine, and it was as though a violent storm had erupted. A wave of bitter anger and resentment spewed out of the Knights mouth, barely tempered at all. Rhea raised her hands, placing them over the ears of the two younglings who sat on either side of her, pale-faced. "...than in the middle of a gang war and surrounded by the smell of burnt corpses!"

She wanted to vomit. The mood whiplash was so intense, she practically felt faint, and it took every measure of self-control she'd learned on that tiny moon not to scream. Even eight years later, she could strongly recall the look on her mothers face as she shoved her out the door. Even eight years later, she could strongly recall the scent of her parents flesh as it immolated. She wasn't quite sure what happened next; by the time her mind refocused, the storm seemed to have passed. Master Jokolto was gently tending to the dismayed Knight, while Master Zapan apologized and others still offered their sentiments.

Rhea did nothing but sit there, sweat beading on her forehead. When she realized she was still holding the younglings ears, who at this point were giving her weird looks, she quickly released them with a small smile of apology. "H-hey, sorry 'bout that."

 

[Oren Zapan]

Oren focused in on his children, slowly motioning them one by one to head back to the classroom. It seemed things had grown rather awkward all together, and he needed some time to himself to contemplate everything that had transpired. He could sense the tiredness in Ash's voice, and with it he understood the pain and the boiling point that one would be lead to be.

As knights and senior members of their small order, so much was expected of them, and with so little teachers for all of the students he often found himself at his own wits end often. He believed in Ash, just as he believed in each and everyone of his students and Jedi. Oren was not perfect himself, he often struggled and had his own problems he was attempting to overcome. If they were perfect they would be the force itself, but for now they were the meekly flesh that their souls inhabited for the time.

He watched as his students walked towards the class, most of them too young to understand the complexity of the situation at hand. But, there were those in the crowd that could sense the pain. He saw the red haired girl, her face hid her emotions, but he could sense the unease boiling within her.

He'd move close to her, gently placing a hand on her shoulder, the light tingling from his fingertips, "Don't be sorry," he'd say with a smile, the markings on the near human, glowing with a soft affection, "If you ever need to talk, come and find me." He'd pull away as he headed back to his classroom.

@Shax @Lyrael

/EXIT THREAD

 

[Brahe Sienar]

Brahe gulped, a bead of sweat rolling down his face as he witnessed the sudden outburst from Ash. He couldn't exactly relate- the galaxy wasn't really at open war or anything of the sort, but there was always still darkness lurking in the shadows. Brahe simply had been born in an era of peace. He didn't really understand what it meant to deal with the nastiest side of life, riddled with the hardships and dangers that a fully fledged Jedi knight was expected to endure. Anytime anything got difficult, his master was by his side. She was always by his side, through thick and thin.

Brahe didn't bother speaking- he felt it wasn't his place. He looked at the other Jedi in the grove, a clear expression of unease on his face. He'd definitely contemplate the words said in the grove later, and perhaps it was this particular outburst that would give him at least a modicum of perspective of reality that was evident in the force.

Biting his lip, he looked at Oren and followed him- surely Master Oren would have something to teach him and the other padawans, or at least keep them preoccupied while the knights and other senior members of the order.....tended to themselves.

/EXIT THREAD