Vendrick Vrey

[Vendrick]

NAME: Vendrick Vrey
FACTION: Sith
RANK: Acolyte
SPECIES: Human
AGE: 22
GENDER: Male
HEIGHT: Six foot six inches
WEIGHT: two hundred pounds
EYES: Red with black outline
HAIR: Red with black tips
SKIN: Pale white
CREDITS: One thousand credits
DISTINGUISHING MARKS: Scars upon his face and body from his first taste of war.
FORCE SENSITIVE: Yes.

STRENGTH: 7/10
DEXTERITY: 5/10 ( Nimble more than agile)
CONSTITUTION: 4/10 ( He is healthy in the ways of the body, meaning he has no health issues but his mind is fragmented from years of slavery on a bounty hunter ship.)
INTELLIGENCE: 6/10 ( He is above average on the intelligence but is almost fully psychopatchic.)
WISDOM: 6/10
CHARISMA: 4/10 ( He is not a very charming person but still easy to be around as he can make a situation turn from sad to funny when needed.).

FORCE POWERS: Force choke, telekinesis.

SKILLS:
Quick witted, very easily able to lead, his strength is one of his most notible abilities.

LIGHTSABER/SWORD FORMS: Form V: Shien / Djem so

STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES:
Strengths: Quick witted, strong, a good leader.
Weakness: Has trouble following rules, quick to the trigger.

GEAR: Customized Long range sporting blaster, Simple boot blade for close quarter style fights

PERSONALITY: Vendrick is not an easy one to upset, he kills for the fun of it and if you cross him, he will gladly introduce you to the god or gods you believe in. He travels from planet to planet, looking for somewhere to fit in, this is part of his drifter lifestyle. He rarely gets to know anyone as he feels everyone is a threat. ( More will be added as he is introduced into the world.)

BIOGRAPHY: Being born in a colony on Ruan, he was always the one to crack a joke when things got out of hand. At the age of five he saw his first murder and this pushed him down a path he could never recover from. He began to study the aspect of murder and how to properly injure someone to the point of death but stop just before the person was to die. At the age of ten, he took his first life and his path was chosen. The victim was a farmers child who had done Vendrick no real harm ( He stole a toy from him) but being a child, this was enough to set Vendrick off and he beat the boy to death with a power shovel. This crime immediatly caught the eyes of the village elders as the took notice of his strange searchs in the librarys archives and they sentenced Vendrick to be transfered to a Mental health institution on an unknown astroid. After being put into the institute, he began to dive deeper into a darker part of life after meeting a war veteran who taught Vendrick different ways to torture creatures and make them wish for death.

Time skip ten years.

At the age of twenty Vendrick had been released from the mental health ward and knew he could never return home so he began to wander his home planet till he found the perfect place to fit in: The military. a few days before joining, he beat a man to death, stole his datapad, hacked it and inserted his picture in place of the males and immediatly enlisted for the civil war upon his planet. The best part is that men were needed and no questions were asked. He was put into training and excelled at everything he could, gaining him fame within the boot camps history archives. His first taste of war was during an invasion on a stronghold of the planets allied forces, he entered in with a standard issure blaster rifle, killed three enemies and was found torturing a group of privates, but this was his first real show of the force as he had the group in a force choke, each one was choked to death and the officer came in as the last one was drawing his last breath. He was court martialed and after many tests were conducted, he was told he was force sensitive. He then put a request into the sith academy in hopes to join their forces.

He decided it was time to leave the military and find his way in the world as a future sith but upon exiting the military he was kidnapped and forced into slavery with a group of bounty hunters. He was only enslaved for a year, his anger was so extreme that he forgot during this time that he could use the force. Vendrick was one of the only slaves to escape a bounty hunting ship as his captors were ambushed by a group of indigenous raiders on a moon in a remote part of the galaxy. As the Bounty hunters were setting in to capture an escaped convict, they were targeted by a group of unknown raiders and because of the guerilla style tactics; were put down with ease. Upon the ship being raided and looted, he quickly studied his surroundings, found an open hatch in the holding area and made way from the ship to this unknown moon. He looked upon the body of the captain, found the key for his cuffs, unshackled himself and took off. He came upon the tribes land, found a long range sporting blaster and from a safe distance scouted out the area below. He stayed for days in his same spot, only leaving to take food and water from the village below till one day he saw a small, one man ship dock at the village and he quickly took off to capture his escape ride. He hopped in, activated the engines and this alerted the tribesmen, they damaged the right engine before he could take off but the ship was still able to take flight and he was off.

( The story will continue as he is introduced into the world.)

ROLE-PLAYS: None as of yet.

 

[Omnis]

Looks good, pending one stat change. Only one stat may be at 7, the rest must be at 6 or lower (for acceptance into the Sith Imperium, anyways).

 

[Taz]

You should should have some innate force powers. Telekinesis was one recommended to me when I started, it's also the base power to learn for others like push/pull, grip etc. Also just about all of us Sith Acolytes have at least a training saber to work with. Helps to have something to beat people with until you learn how to make you're own. The rest looks pretty good, a lot more reasonable then my first attempt.

 

[Jiang Winters]

Looks good, pending one stat change. Only one stat may be at 7, the rest must be at 6 or lower (for acceptance into the Sith Imperium, anyways).

That's absurd, to be frank, and places an absolutely needless restriction on new characters - what if someone wants to come in as a berserker type with boatloads of strength and stamina but not much goin' on upstairs?

 

[Rector_Ras]

That's absurd, to be frank, and places an absolutely needless restriction on new characters - what if someone wants to come in as a berserker type with boatloads of strength and stamina but not much goin' on upstairs?

7 is fairly high for anything for a new guy. They need to be able to grow not start with everything :p

I like the idea really. Pushes to work for the charecters skills and what not. More motivation for story and what not since you do threads with people and people might make new lines for the character.

 

[Jiang Winters]

7 is fairly high for anything for a new guy. They need to be able to grow not start with everything :p

I like the idea really. Pushes to work for the charecters skills and what not. More motivation for story and what not since you do threads with people and people might make new lines for the character.

That's a neat idea on paper and I don't mind encouraging people to start out low, but forcing folks to abandon equipment (which Imperial leadership has done before) and dump stats is unnecessarily restrictive and borderline unfair to new members. If someone wants to start off with a grizzled and war-weary character just getting into the Sith with a lot of skills and strength starting out, that should be perfectly acceptable. Enforcing a hard stat cap prevents things like that, hence my calling it absurd.

 

[Marf]

That's a neat idea on paper and I don't mind encouraging people to start out low, but forcing folks to abandon equipment (which Imperial leadership has done before) and dump stats is unnecessarily restrictive and borderline unfair to new members. If someone wants to start off with a grizzled and war-weary character just getting into the Sith with a lot of skills and strength starting out, that should be perfectly acceptable. Enforcing a hard stat cap prevents things like that, hence my calling it absurd.

^
^
Ayup.

7 is fairly high for anything for a new guy. They need to be able to grow not start with everything :p

I like the idea really. Pushes to work for the charecters skills and what not. More motivation for story and what not since you do threads with people and people might make new lines for the character.

Having high or low statistics has very little to do with training, unlike say, complex or difficult Force powers. People can have high strength or intelligence at low rank with little experience in their chosen faction. Furthermore, character development is not solely about characters getting "better" or more skilled, but becoming complex and simply changing.

Personally, this is why I avoid listing stats all together and just provide a detailed description of my characters' skills, strengths and weaknesses.

My only issue with this character's stats is the misuse of the word "psychotic".

 

[Vendrick]

See what happens when you make other characters? I lost track of my comments on this one lmao, but taking all this into consideration, I have alot of work to do with both Characters..... So much work!!!

 

[Marf]

To be honest, there wasn't much critique, you were just asked to change stats/powers.

But here are some suggestions from me: The personality and bio need way more detail. 50 words is the minimum required for each section but that's still miniscule, 300 - 1000 words is what I would consider substantial. In regards to the biography, what was his family and childhood like before becoming a slave, or was her born into slavery? What were his parents like? Was he popular or anti-social? What was his life as a slave like? Was he mistreated/abused? The biography is what helps shape a character's personality and the more detailed one is, the more detailed another will usually be.

I mentioned this before, but "psychotic" is the incorrect term to use. Psychotic means that a person is suffering from auditory, sensory and visual hallucinations or is suffering an illness such as schizophrenia. You were probably meaning to use "psychopathic", the two words are commonly mixed up. A psychopathic person possesses an abnormal lack of empathy or regard for social moral. If this is the case for Vendrick, you need to go into much more depth about what are very complex personal traits. Furthermore, you need to elaborate just how he developed to be that way in his biography.

 

[Vendrick]

Well, his strength is where he will (hopefully) be known for like Marka Ragnos.... i wanna beat a Rankor to death with my bare hands...

 

[Vendrick]

Rancor**

 

[Vendrick]

To be honest, there wasn't much critique, you were just asked to change stats/powers.

But here are some suggestions from me: The personality and bio need way more detail. 50 words is the minimum required for each section but that's still miniscule, 300 - 1000 words is what I would consider substantial. In regards to the biography, what was his family and childhood like before becoming a slave, or was her born into slavery? What were his parents like? Was he popular or anti-social? What was his life as a slave like? Was he mistreated/abused? The biography is what helps shape a character's personality and the more detailed one is, the more detailed another will usually be.

I mentioned this before, but "psychotic" is the incorrect term to use. Psychotic means that a person is suffering from auditory, sensory and visual hallucinations or is suffering an illness such as schizophrenia. You were probably meaning to use "psychopathic", the two words are commonly mixed up. A psychopathic person possesses an abnormal lack of empathy or regard for social moral. If this is the case for Vendrick, you need to go into much more depth about what are very complex personal traits. Furthermore, you need to elaborate just how he developed to be that way in his biography.

Well what I meant was changing the template a little, adding more to the Personality and biography, just touch ups all around is what I meant by my other posts. Boroco is looking good for now, I will need to change and add more stuff onto Vendrick than Boroco.

 

[Marf]

You can edit your posts, hun ;) You don't need to double-post.

Well, his strength is where he will (hopefully) be known for like Marka Ragnos.... i wanna beat a Rankor to death with my bare hands...

Marka Ragnos? The post powerful Jen'ari of ancient times? I think that's a bit of a stretch, bro. You char would need to be as powerful as Andraste (the current Sith Empress) in order to be compared to Ragnos ;) Canon states that Ragnos was physically strong, which doesn't actually make much sense, since he was a Kissai-caste Sith Pureblood (the priest caste were physically weaker) and a 100-year-old man.

 

[Vendrick]

You can edit your posts, hun ;) You don't need to double-post.


Marka Ragnos? The post powerful Jen'ari of ancient times? I think that's a bit of a stretch, bro. You char would need to be as powerful as Andraste (the current Sith Empress) in order to be compared to Ragnos ;) Canon states that Ragnos was physically strong, which doesn't actually make much sense, since he was a Kissai-caste Sith Pureblood (the priest caste were physically weaker) and a 100-year-old man.

I want his strength to be what he is known for, that is why he has a seven for his strength stat..

 

[Taz]

So he's not there yet, a sith can dream, and then get crushed like a bug under the will of the Empress

 

[Vendrick]

Lmao!

 

[Vendrick]

Updated: Biography, general overall of stats and such.