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[Maxims Tionson]

The Tigris.

It was just a regular Quad Five courier ship but it was oh so much more than that wasn't it? In the aftermath it had fallen into his care. Apparently someone had mentioned that Nashyr had made it clear that it was to become his ship after she was gone? He didn't really believe that but he also didn't really think anyone was going to try and stop him from taking it from the Temple hanger either. Jedi didn't have possessions but he had given up the ship given to him by the Order to aid some of his allies.

To aid Saul actually.

But if this ship was actually Order property rather than Nashyr's? Well they wouldn't have a problem with it being assigned to him rather than just waiting around for the next person to need it. He needed a ship and this ship needed a pilot so... well it was only logical. There was no reason to see the change of ownership as emotional in nature because it was so damned logical after all.

Right?

Right.

Still, Max was going to need to actually get on board the ship at some point because right now all he had done was stare at the ship from a slightly respectful distance away. He was going to need to embark soon but... but not yet.

For now he needed to speak to someone.

"Oren." he greeted the other Jedi without turning to look at him, "Was beginning to think you were avoiding me, kid."

@TWD26

 

[Oren Zapan]

Oren had been recovering from the internal wounds he had suffered on the prison, his left arm was still in a sling, and his gut still burned and ached with an extreme pain, so much so that he still required a crutch to lean into as he walked. He had nearly died that day, just like Nashyr and Saul, the medical staff said that they had found a whole vibrosword broken in hundreds of tiny shards within his stomach and abdomen area, and his left arm had suffered third degree burns.

He had wondered when he'd find Max, knowing all too well that the man would probably hold it against him for what had happened to Nashyr. He had tried to save the two of them, but he had failed, and the burden was already one he carried heavily on his shoulders, more than he'd let another Jedi ever know. He was a man that had lost everything, his classmate, his master, and now his lover. He had to keep going, the younger generations and the galaxy depended on someone to break the cycle of hatred--he promised Nashyr he would do just that.

He walked alone along the halls when he heard a voice, pass beside him. Oren would turn back to see the man looking away from him. "I'm sorry for your loss," he'd wince as he felt the pain swelling in his stomach. He would slowly begin to walk away, knowing that nothing he could say would really help.

tag: @Nefieslab

 

[Maxims Tionson]

Hmm.

Sorry for his loss.

Pretty words but nothing more and nothing that he hadn't heard a few times already. Sighing a little bit, Max turned around and saw Oren going to hobble away. Shaking his head, he could have caught up with the younger man rather easily. Only one of them was injured after all and Max was rather determined to have this conversation.

But he supposed Oren wasn't as invested in having the conversation so Max was going to say one thing and see if it made a difference.

"I don't blame you but if you need to hear it for your own guilt? I forgive you." he told Oren bluntly, "There's nothing to forgive but if you need it? I forgive you for not saving her."

He smiled but it was... strained.

Wrong.

"Any tips for bringing in her killer?"

It was probably well beyond him. Probably well beyond anything one single person could hope to achieve at this point but he didn't care. The idea had been spawned from a deep, primal, need for vengeance but now that he had had chance to cool down, to release his emotions into the Force?

The idea remained.

@TWD26

 

[Oren Zapan]

The Jedi Master would turn back to peer towards the man, his own eyes reflected a pain. Max wasn't the only one suffering, a whole collection of Jedi were, he understood that he was feeling anger, but any chance at breaking or picking at Oren wouldn't work. His heart ached with pain, but he knew the love that the Cathar held for him, and he knew what she would have wanted.

"I don't want anything from you," he'd say clearly, his words hurt, but they were clear with intention, "I don't want pity, I don't want sorrow..She's gone, and I miss her..I miss the love that she and I had, but I know it's still here, within my heart and around these walls." It took so much to say, and he still wondered if he truly believed that he could let go--he still was on the process of finding himself, but the thought of revenge never had crossed his mind.

"She fought to protect the lives of thousands of prisoners, your teachings inspired her to action...and she died fully embracing the light," he'd lean against his crutch, "You're a Jedi Knight Max, I would have expected such a response from a Padawan.. it's okay to feel lost, I feel so right now..But, what will hunting this Champion down do? I barely survived my own fight...think about Nashyr, think about the other Jedi..you would risk more lives on a hunt to satisfy your own craving Max? Killing that Champion won't bring back our Nash, and doing so with your intentions will make it so you can never see her again.. You and I both know that the shadow of greed swells over attachment..."

He was still learning, still processing these words himself, but he knew he would find a way to live up to her memory, without dwelling in the past. "Death, yet the force...we mustn't miss them because they are with us..Train yourself to let go of the intense pain, look in on yourself and you will know..that she is there."

tag: @Nefieslab

 

[Maxims Tionson]

He hummed a little bit, looking away from Oren after the Master had spoken.

"You assume much, Master Zapan." he was more amused than angry or hurt by any of the assumptions that Oren had made but they were nothing more than base assumptions, "Do not confuse your own feelings with my own or think to know my mind more intimately than I do; I do not wish to kill the Champion. Losing Nashyr has not made me forget who I am, nor my abject rejection of the idea that killing another sentient being would ever solve anything."

Max was beginning to realize what he wanted to do but what he wanted to do did not include being scolded by Oren as though he were a Padawan just learning to control his feelings. His emotions were high right now, it was true, but they had been gradually been bled into the Force since the initial discovery.

"My emotions are not pushing me into this path, Oren, but they had reminded me of a duty I have been neglecting." he gestured around the two of them to the Temple around them, "I've focused on the people and good works; and I will always continue to do them. But the fact is that as a Jedi Knight it is also my duty to ensure that the Sith do not return to run roughshod over the Galaxy as they have done in the past. A Champion of the Sith has killed and terrorized the people of the Galaxy and our charges; it is our duty to ensure that this does not go without a response."

He smiled a little bit.

"I'm not seeking vengeance or revenge, release, death or even closure, Oren. What I want to do is my duty as a Jedi Knight, would you deny me that?"

@TWD26

 

[Oren Zapan]

The Jedi master would focus in on the man as he spoke, "Well...I can only make assumptions when you call me a kid," Max was only a few years older than Oren, and they both weren't the youngest of members within their little band of wizards. "Well they're back, we neglected for three years, and they've finally done more and more to wreck our galaxy and our peace. We will win this fight, but we need to take a bit of time to regain our energy. "

"But, we will defend this galaxy. We need to continue to work with the rest of the galaxy to defend the people, we also need to find out why this cycle of hatred continues, why the Jedi and the Sith are locked in an eternal struggle, why generations fight over and over..." The idea had crossed his mind, and it was a peculiar one--was eternal war what the Force wanted, or did the force want anything at all?

tag: @Nefieslab

 

[Maxims Tionson]

Yeah people tended to get defensive when you called them a kid he supposed. Of course he had a complete decade on Oren so he felt that it wasn't too far out of place to call him that. Especially since Max had been calling most of the Order 'kid' since he started here. Some of them were younger than him and some just acted like they were.

Like Hannibal... who probably could do to act his age a bit more even if he was rather amusing company as it was.

"Ah but is that not the same kind of passive attitude that has allowed them to grow to such dangerous heights as they now reach?" he argued with a small smile, playing devil's advocate, "If we let them force us onto the defensive, when will we ever leave it, Oren? They have struck from their hiding places and we are off-balance, true, but if we always have to stop and center ourselves after every blow then they will forever be able to keep us off balance."

Max waved Oren over to the Tigris. Sitting down on the edge of the entrance ramp to the ship, he gestured for Oren to sit down beside him as he collected a glass bottle and a pair of glasses. He poured out some of the whisky into a glass and handed it to Oren.

"If we're going to philosophize, Nash would have insisted we do so over a drink, as 'civilized' people do across the Galaxy." He raised a glass to Oren before taking a drink, sighing slightly, "You know what I think? I think the Sith keep coming back because it's easy. It's easy to be a Sith; you just do whatever your emotions want you to do and you grow in power from those emotions until you're so twisted by the Dark Side you don't even remember the first step, those good intentions, that led you there. And conversely? To be a Jedi is... work. Constant, unending, work and practice and trials and tests."

He glanced back at the ship.

"Life becomes a test and to stumble is to potentially fall. It would be easy to Fall, to let the gravity of situations take us... wouldn't it, Oren?"

@TWD26

 

[Oren Zapan]

The Jedi Master would shake his head towards the man's retort, all Oren had done was put his life and body on the line for the order. He had lost his hand exposing the virus infecting the galaxy, his eye and face on Naboo, and now his most recent injuries against the Sith. Oren was anything but passive, and Max would know that. They would defeat the dark, but they needed a plan, it had to be done smart or they could very well create a new Sith Order from the remnants of those who survive the war.

"Our numbers are small, I agree with you that we must stand against the light. But, who among the Jedi would you consider a soldier? Our Order is made up of children, I was a teacher before this, war and death brings a great toll on the mind and we may very well lead some of our own into darkness if we aren't careful. I'm not saying we don't fight, I'm saying we think about it and act accordingly, develop and train those that want to be guardians of the galaxy."

He'd sigh, "We're going to win, but I don't want it to be at the cost of losing what makes us Jedi. We will bring down this darkness and we will begin to train the youth to be prepared, but we aren't soldiers, the Clone Wars speaks for our Hubris in that regards..So, how will you help us prepare, work with me and I can see what I can do." The Jedi Master would wince, as he felt the pain around his lower torso. He knew war was coming, and they would need to be offensive in some aspects. A Jedi uses the force for knowledge and defense..never for attack. Those words are true, but passiveness would mean countless more could die, and that was the conundrum that faced all Jedi.

tag: @Nefieslab

 

[Maxims Tionson]

The truth was that Oren was right about one thing; their Order was made up of children. So many of their Order had yet to live to see their third decade and they were being asked to endure things people much older than they had had trouble with in the past. But the problem, as Max saw it, was held within that truth.

"They are children, some of them." he agreed, wringing his hands together slightly, "And it pains me to say this, Oren, believe me it does but... we can't preserve that. As much as I would love for them to be able to simply exist as they are, to enjoy being young and foolish and, well, children. The fact of the matter is that we can't afford that, the Galaxy can't afford that and they themselves can't afford that."

He rubbed at his beard. In recent weeks he hadn't shaved or groomed his beard overly much and it showed in the way it seemed to have grown wilder and bushier already. Reaching out, he placed a gentle hand against Oren's lower torso and immersed himself in the Force, reaching out and dulling Oren's pain with some Force healing. He himself would have a terrifying pain shoot through him but he could live with it.

Shaking his had a little bit, he took another drink.

"We're not soldiers." he agreed before adding, "But we are warriors. We exist as we do to prepare the next generation to battle against those who would abuse the Force for their own ends and Oren; they're here. To protect the Galaxy as a whole, to protect the Force itself from the perversions of the Dark Side, we need to do things we don't want to do... like letting go of that which we fear to lose."

He gestured in the vague direction of the pyres outside.

"Nash and Saul they... they won't be the last Oren and we both know that."

@TWD26

 

[Oren Zapan]

Oren knew that war was coming, and that all children would eventually have to learn to make tough decisions, but not all of them were suited for the position of warriors. He considered the idea for a moment, contemplating on what the Order should be doing, in his eyes the Council had proven to not be doing enough, and it was their passiveness or apathy to it all that lead to the cancer to fester in the unknown regions of space.

"Speak with Hans," he'd say finally. "He's a strong warrior, and I believe he's looking for others..warriors of a sort, we'll need to begin training, and we will need to begin to train the younger students on different ways to help with the coming war effort." He'd smile softly, "I know that others will die, it's the way of the Jedi to sacrifice ourselves, I just want to make sure that we don't enter this like the Orders of the past, where we become so blinded by that purpose that we find ourselves destroyed from within. We will need to prepare warriors, but we will also need safe refuge points for the Jedi, just in case."

He considered the various places he had been across the galaxy, "I'll continue to train, hunt the Sith myself and prepare temples and schools hidden away for the time being, places we can use as forward bases if things go terribly wrong." He'd bow softly, grunting in pain. He'd slowly begin to walk away, turning back with a soft sight, "I'm sorry about Nashyr..I loved her more than I probably should, but she was my rock and my foundation..You trained her so well, and she lived up to your teachings...I'm just sorry I couldn't have done more," he'd turn walking away quietly.

/END

tag: @Nefieslab