Ask 3 Quite Bitter Beings

[Crix Aran]

Crix knew Hannibal well enough to know when his Master wanted to talk about something - there was a pinch around his mouth and his eyes darted faster - and the little hand signal he'd given to Talak hadn't been missed either. He imagined Talak probably hadn't spent enough time around Hannibal to pick up on some of the weirder energies his Master put out. And he meant that in the 'weird even for Hannibal' sense rather than weird for normal people.

Hans was anything but normal but that was what made him Hans.

Once the little meeting was over, Crix gestured for Talak to follow him and he led the way out of the room. Hans and Crix had a sparring room they liked to use that was fairly close so he led the way. It was private enough that Hans could talk about a lot of things without fear of people just wandering in and listening to the whole thing.

He could feel a knot in the pit of his stomach forming as he walked with Talak however. It was the first time he'd Talak since he had left his ship and left his mother with him to join the Jedi. He had spent some time visiting his mom in her rooms in the medical centre but they had been fewer than he would have liked... Jedi training was intense and he'd been halfway across the Galaxy from him.

As it happened he didn't get to bring it up before he spotted Hannibal through the Force before he physically saw him. Crix waved Hans over to the small sparring room and shut the door after him.

"Got the sparring around to ourselves Hans - what's got you so..." he made a wiggling gesture with his fingers, "... raw?"

@Mr. Teatime @Phoenix

 

[Talak Rand]

Something was up. Talak didn't know what, but it was something that left him vaguely uncomfortable in his gut. In his typical format, Talak was scowling as he followed Crix to the sparring room, eyes flashing around to see if anyone was following them. .

Thankfully, no one else was coming, but why would they? Why was he being so fidgety today? Well, anyway, he doubted any of them wanted to be interrupted for... whatever this was going to be.

Crix spoke up first, and Talak looked at Hannibal, a hint of concern in his gaze as he did so.

Are you okay? he asked. Fine, so maybe it was a redundant question, but it was a bit more direct perhaps than what Crix had said.

 

[Hannibal Grayza]

Hannibal stepped into the otherwise empty sparring room, green eyes glancing at each of the other two in turn. A flick of a finger pulled a training mannequin from the corner and he placed an ashtray atop its outstretched hand, pulled a cigarra from his belt, and lit it.

"What, you'd rather I be seasoned and slow-roasted?" he joked at Crix, fingers idly tip-tapping against the wall he'd decided to lean against. Was he fine? Well, that was a very good question. "Maybe, thanks for askin'," Hannibal answered Talak, grimacing slightly. "It's complicated."

Very complicated. What he'd given up to pull Trys from the box she'd been stuck in was no small thing, even if he'd tried to play it off that way to avoid worrying her. And now he had to figure out some favour to ask or she'd probably never stop asking about it- the second message he'd gotten from her was about the favour, in fact- but it's not like she was in good enough shape to be doing any running around.

The young Jedi took a drag from his cigarra and blew the resulting cloud of smoke up and away from the other two, expression turning an odd mix of pensive and mildly annoyed. He stared off for a moment toward nothing before his eyes moved back to the other two.

"Trys is awake."

 

[Crix Aran]

He'd been about to make a joke, to try and defuse the odd tension that has crept into the room with Hans. To try and make Hans seem less... somehow less than he usually was in Crix's limited experience. There was, after all, something different about his Master but the Padawan didn't know enough to try and guess what it was with the Force. So a joke would do and he had been half way to thinking one when Hans spoke.

And suddenly Crix found that it took all his attention just to stay standing, his knees weak, the bottom of his stomach opening up into a hole and his head light, thoughts swimming. Three words was all it took to shatter his confident facade and dig right into the heart of him, dragging him right back from newly confident Padawan to scared teen wanting his mom back.

The tremor in his right hand was back almost immediately but he ignored it. He ignored it and every other thing that told him he was about to fall down out of shock because, God damn it, his mom was awake? The rising hope that it was true... that his mom was back?

It was enough that everything else could fall away.

"Mom... mom oh Force mom is awake?" He was starting to almost vibrate in place as a surge of hope and sheer relief swept through him like a shot of the Galaxy's happiest adrenaline, "Force... Force... karking hells she's awake?! How? Did you... did she...?"

Words were not really working for him right now - feelings were though and they were on overdrive. He was grinning from ear to ear, beaming with a combination of that same hope and relief mentioned before. There was more to unpack there, the coiling dread still in his gut for soms reason, but he allowed himself to be swept up in the good.

Crix turned to Talak, smile firmly in place.

"Talak how come you... didn't... tell me about..."

... there was the source of dread and wrongness.

Why did Talak look as surprised as he was?

@Mr. Teatime @Phoenix

 

[Talak Rand]

There was very clearly something wrong with Hannibal, and he was beginning to grow concerned about his friend. His cryptic answers weren't unusual, but they weren't the type of thing that Talak would typically get away with.

He was about to speak up with another comment when Hannibal dropped a bomb. His eyes went wide, his heart skipped at least three beats, and he took a gasped breath completely out of surprise that he couldn't suppress.

He couldn't believe it. He'd tried to touch Trys's mind multiple times in the hospital without any success, and he'd begun to wonder if it was even possible to pull her back out, but... Hannibal must have done it!

He was vaguely aware of Crix speaking, but he barely even heard it. His mind was racing.

How? Where is she? he said, wanting to pile on more questions as well and forcing himself to stop. How was she? When did it happen? Was this why Hannibal was... off? Why did he still have a gnawing feeling that something was wrong? @Nefieslab @Mr. Teatime

 

[Hannibal Grayza]

The young Jedi took another drag while Crix and Talak went through a rush of emotions. Hannibal's face was very firmly set, though the emotions flooding from them still washed over him. He tensed up immediately, though he tried to keep himself still. His cigarra switched hands, his left dropping something near his waist to be closed to prevent the digits from shaking in echo of Crix's right. It was difficult, but somewhere in the back of his head he noted it was less intense than whatever had happened with Trys in the noodle shop. Interesting.

The relief Crix felt a moment later was more soothing, something he could deal with more easily, and he unclenched his hand. Emerald eyes focused on Talak, some distant light shining behind them as he took in the features of his friend.

"I was asked if I could help," he answered dryly, looking directly at Talak for every word. "Figured I'd give it a shot, since, y'know, I'm familiar with healing and sorting through minds and whatnot." Another drag, another exhaled cloud of smoke up and off toward an open window, rays of sunlight filtering through the grey like wispy clouds. Hannibal turned to look at Crix, the dry smile on the young Master's face softening into something kinder.

"She was still there, stuck in her own head. I helped pull her out, is all. Trys is very brave." His eyes looked again toward Talak from the side, frowning with a mix of emotions, none of which were terribly positive.

"As for where, still on Chandrilla recoverin' at her own pace. No surprise visits this time. Trys'll tell ya if she wants to see ya."

@Phoenix @Nefieslab

 

[Crix Aran]

Talak didn't tell him - because Talak wasn't involved.

Crix felt the trembling of his right hand stop completely despite his rampant emotions. The tremor tended to come when he was conflicted and he was - he was so conflicted right now. There was so much hope and happiness and sheer LOVE at the fact that he got to have his mom back, that his mom was alive and she was better. That she was still herself even if there was going to need to be some time for further healing.

The conflict, however, came from the fact that he was so incredibly angry. Drumbeats were loud in his ears as he listened to Hans, heard about his mother and what he had done for her while at the same time his focus shifted to Talak. Every second the drumbeats were getting louder and louder, the tremor of his hand gone but he felt as though his entire body was vibrating, like he was compressing so many different emotions that his body almost couldn't contain it.

Until, finally, he exploded.

It was simple, it was pure and he would dare say it was understandable but all he wanted to do was move, to act, and so he did. From the side he would swing at Talak with his right fist, aiming to plant his fist hard into the other man's gut. His eyes were ablaze with angry, frustrated, tears that clung at the edges of his eyes.

"You didn't even TRY!?"

It was anger but more than that it was betrayal.

"I trusted you with my mom and you didn't even ask anyone?!" he yelled at Talak, throwing his left fist at the man's face regardless of whether the first hit had landed or not, "I trusted you! And you did what?! MONTHS, TALAK! You left my mom like that for months while you... you... you dicked around doing kark knows what! She should have been your focus - you said you cared about her... I only came to do this Jedi shrak because I trusted you! I trusted you to karking CARE enough to TRY!"

The drumbeats were louder in his head as he threw his hands into the air before clutching them to his head. His own nailed dug into his scalp around his horns as he roared an inarticulate, wordless, shout of frustration that started to sap his anger from him. Pulling his hands down, he looked at Hans, feeling smaller and more worn out than if he had spent hours training.

"Take me to my mom. Please I... tell me where and I'll go right now."

He was still so very angry and hurt but... there was the light there, inside, that comforted him. It wasn't the Force - it was the comfort and joy that came from knowing his mom was alright. That he could hug his mom again.

That he didn't have to have his last view of her being the dead-eyed stare of the living dead.

@Phoenix @Mr. Teatime

 

[Talak Rand]

It took a few moments for Talak to put all the pieces together, but when he did, he felt sick. He was mad at himself and filled with a sudden wave of... what was the word to even describe it? Fear? Dread? Disdain? Something else entirely or a mix of all those and more.

When Crix turned to take a swing at him, Talak moved purely on reflex. Even when he wasn't in a position where he expected to be attacked, parts of him were ingrained so deeply that he couldn't help himself.

He stepped back, hand slapping hard at the back of Crix's fist as it passed by him to ensure the blow didn't connect. He didn't need to be punched in the gut, he felt like it had already happened.

I didn't... I thought... what could he even say? He hadn't realized it would work? He hadn't thought that the issue for why it hadn't worked when he tried was that there was too much darkness.

And Talak didn't miss the undertone to Hannibal's words. She would call them if she wanted to see them. Or specifically him. So she blamed him as well? And perhaps she should have. Perhaps they all should have. He was horrified and for the first time in his life felt paralyzed. He didn't know what to do or where to go. What could he even do to rectify this? Was there even a way to rectify it?

Is she okay? he finally asked. Whatever may happen to him, there was one reality that he cared about: was she safe and able to recover? @Nefieslab @Mr. Teatime

 

[Hannibal Grayza]

Hannibal let Crix get his frustration out a bit. Stewing on that kind of thing wasn't terribly healthy, last he'd checked. The young man had a lot going on just in this moment and all. It was only when he tried a swing that Hannibal turned his eyes back to him, both kind and stern. Honestly not unexpected, nor was Talak deflecting it, but Jedi training is Jedi training.

"Crix. I'll take you to see her after this, but you need to do some centering about it. You know why." The young half-Zabrak had at least partly joined the Jedi to avoid ending up like the Sith. His mother waking and meeting her had a lot of very normal emotions, but the Force being the way it is, he'd probably need a little meditation. Naturally his teacher had covered standard sitting and active types and some methods of his own. Crix would find his own preferred way of doing it- he seemed to do tinkering often enough- but it was an important detail.

Trying very hard to keep his face from reflecting every emotion radiating off the other too and beginning to develop a headache in the process, Hannibal laid a hand on Crix's shoulder and gave it a little squeeze. Then he looked back over at Talak.

"You thought you had to do it yourself," he finished simply, still not in the habit of giving lengthy lectures over poignant commentary, the issue with Oren aside. That was less of a lecture and more of a mouthy venting, anyway. Doesn't count. Regardless, he know Talak decently well by now. Asking for help was against his every ingrained instinct, but it was something he needed to adapt through at least to some degree. Maybe it'd stick this time.

"She's recoverin' and gettin' her head back in order. I think she'll be alright given time and effort."

@Nefieslab @Phoenix

 

[Crix Aran]

There were too many emotions for him to be 'done' venting right now but he had done enough that he didn't want to try and punch Talak or stab some Rangers or whoever hadn't had the bright idea to ask someone for help from a Jedi. A Sith had done the damage and no one had thought to try and get a Jedi healer involved?

He blamed himself a little bit for that too. Why hadn't he done that either?

"Yeah... yeah I know why."

The drums in his head.

He knew what they were and had since the first few lessons on the Force actually - they were a sign to himself that the Dark Side was clouding his mind. That it was attempting to gain some kind of sway over him. In his, limited, experience they grew louder and louder the more he was feeling the urge to draw on his darker instincts.

On top of that, there were so many happy emotions that he knew his control was going to be kind of a mess right now too. It felt like he needed to be involved, to be moving, but he could tell that was just the extra energy he was bleeding off from all the more positive emotions. He took a deep breath and nodded to Hans.

"I'll go and prep my bags." he told his Master, "See if Scooter needs any modification along the way..."

Tinkering was one of the things that helped him just relax a little bit, to find a centre. He felt the squeeze on his shoulder before he moved past Hannibal, glancing over his shoulder at Talak. There was a dark pit in his stomach that took some satisfaction in the older man's plight but the majority of him? The majority of him couldn't find the will to think of it as anything other than entirely justified.

So he just left.

/Exit Thread

@Phoenix @Mr. Teatime

 

[Talak Rand]

Talak felt sick and he knew the feeling wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon. Hannibal... was right. Years of being unable to ask for help were still ingrained within him, and it was... wrong. Trys deserved better than that. She hadn't deserved to remain in her state. Was it really his fault? Probably, and that made him sick.

There's no outrunning destiny. The words echoed in his head. He had a long history of sins, and there was no outrunning the effects of those. They still impacted those he loved to this day, and it made his question if he should have attachments at all. It was the very same thing that had nearly driven him out of the Jedi Order, and... he rejected it. He made mistakes, and he'd live with them, but he wasn't going to run from it, and he certainly wasn't going to return to the same darkness that was at the root of all these problems. He wouldn't take the coward's way out.

Crix left and it was just Talak and Hannibal. He felt frozen in place like he couldn't move. He could sense far more from his friend than he normally could, and that in and of itself was important, and none of what he felt was positive. He wanted to apologize to Hannibal, but somehow that felt wrong. He needed to apologize to Trys, and Hannibal... he was more annoyed that Talak hadn't gotten him involved, wasn't he?

Thank you, he said after another moment. He had no idea what awaited him after this with Trys, but she was back, and it was because of Hannibal. He half-expected that Hannibal didn't want his thanks, but he'd have it nonetheless.

You're not in it alone, either, he said after a moment. It was a reference to whatever was inside Hannibal's mind. He didn't know if the Councilor would want to talk about it, but if he did, Talak was there. @Mr. Teatime @Nefieslab