You'll want to make a new thread for making your lightsaber. Obviously, how good it is will directly affect your training. Also, as a student under the battlemaster, you're encouraged to try interesting and unusual variations if you want to. Le have fun!
Yeah but if contrasts her, she has a childhood ideal of how an Imperial Knight is supposed to be and holds herself up to it even though she can never reach it. That is why most of the time she is berating herself.