Ask We're (Not) On A Boat

[Ruzaan Kai]

As he asked Lia about home, Ruzaan indeed found his thoughts settling on places that he had called home at one point or another. And as such, Lia's answer didn't surprise him. Indeed, as she predicted, his answer was similar, but a few moments' thought gave it some nuance.

"Yeah. I've lived in a few places, too" he replied. "Shili is still important to me, and so are the other places I've lived." It was Brighthome currently, and Yavin IV before that. His travels had taken him around the galaxy, however, and since becoming a Padawan he'd rarely spent more than a few weeks in the same place. As such, the Togruta didn't feel like there was any one place he called home at the moment; home could be anywhere. "But home is more of a feeling to me than a place, I guess. It's when I'm feeling safe, or when I'm with people who are important to me."

Grey eyes looked up and over at Lia, suddenly pondering again the direction that his life had taken. Without the luck- or destiny- of being discovered as a Force sensitive, he never would've become a Jedi, never would've left Shili, and never would've met people like Arctus, Clove, Atris, Samara, Maura, or Lia. "This could be home" he said, suddenly realizing that it met his own criteria.


@LadyRen

 

[Liana Mason]

The atmosphere was simply incredible. The cold water laced her wet skin with goosebumps with every incoming wave but with the stunning starry sky above and the pleasant company, Lia just loved the setting for this deep conversation.

She lazily swirled in the water with her arms, creating little vortexes and movement under water while she found his answer not only relatable but beautiful. "True...you are absolutely right about that. I guess that's why I chose these locations", she warmly smiled at him, her dark blue eyes sparkling in the moon light.

She felt safe and secure here and she knew that her new found friend was the reason for that. "It could be", she gently replied, wading towards him through the chest high water and wrapping her arms around him, her head resting against his chest as they shared this tender moment.

"Maybe the Force has brought us together, but I'm grateful regardless of what it was. We've just met but I feel you're already one of my best friends and I appreciate you...". She let him go again, glancing up with a warm smile. He was right. Even though they were stranded on an unknown island and all alone in the dark, this did feel homely somehow.

@SlagathorTheUnknown

 

[Ruzaan Kai]

The hug came as a surprise to Ruzaan, but he'd never said no to one before and wasn't about to start now. Besides, it was certainly a lot more enjoyable than the last time her arms had been wrapped around him when she'd saved him from choking earlier. He held onto the hug for as long as she wanted, simply enjoying the little slice of home that he found in Lia's embrace. "Thank you" he said, blinking away sudden emotions in response to her words and to her trust. "I appreciate you, too."

It was true that he'd rarely spent quality time with someone like this since becoming a Jedi, but even so he was surprised at the depth of their connection after only hanging out for a few hours together. And it wasn't just because they'd faced mortal peril together in the form of a pizza and a burrito; there was a safety and comfort to being in Lia's presence that Ruzaan didn't often experience. "Anytime you want a hug or something, let me know" he promised, already looking forward to the next time that happened. Chances are I'll need one, too.

Ruzaan fell silent for a few moments, a soft smile of gratitude on his face as he gazed at Lia. What had started as a frustration and a failure had quickly turned into one of the best nights of his life, and there was still plenty of time before morning. The Togruta flicked a couple drops of water in the Echani's direction, and tilted his head to one side. "You up for a little more swimming? There's something that I want to show you." If Lia agreed, he'd begin swimming out further away from the shore towards the mouth of a cove in the distance. The bioluminescent algae in the sequestered cove had been stunning in the light of day, and he couldn't wait to show Lia what it looked like under the stars.

@LadyRen

 

[Liana Mason]

She warmly smiled after having pulled back, her feet buried in the sand underneath as she lazily swirled her hands around again. "Of course!", she enthusiastically replied, her voice almost like a promise though. "Hugs can do wonders".

With her gaze shifting from the friendly Togruta towards the starry sky above, she simply marveled at the beautiful sight before he did approach her with another idea. "Ooh! Sure!", she enthusiastically replied, immediately starting to follow him without having any idea about where he was leading her.

As they got closer, her mouth flapped open in amazement as she swam into the cave, barely believing that this place was real. "Oh...Ruz this is beautiful! Thank you for showing me...that's...breathtaking". She turned around, trying to take it all in at once, but it looked almost too magical to be true.

@SlagathorTheUnknown

 

[Ruzaan Kai]

As astonishing as the cave had been in the daytime, it was even more enchanting at night. Without the sunlight peeping in through a naturally-occurring skylight in the roof of the cave, the cave was instead lit by the blue-green glow of the algae and a soft stream of moonlight. The water got shallower, too, until Ruzaan and Lia could wade ashore to a small beach. Ruzaan breathed deeply in contentment, sending out his senses and taking in the life that was concentrated here through the Living Force. He sensed Lia, too; her presence a warm purple that sparked with curiosity and positivity.

A place like this, with company like Lia, deserved more than a passing moment. While Lia took in their surroundings, Ruzaan gathered some dried out driftwood from the beach and made a small fire with a minor application of Pyrokinesis. Immediately, he felt its warmth seep into his body, frightening away the chills he felt after leaving the water and helping to dry his skin. The Togruta gestured for Lia to join him next to the fire, hugging his legs against his chest and letting the fire warm his back while he stared out across the breathtaking sight inside the cave.

"I wouldn't mind staying here for a bit... you up for more conversation?" he asked her; he would be comfortable sitting in silence if she preferred that as well. But he'd appreciated their connection and their conversations thus far this evening and was curious what else they might discuss with the time that they still had.

@LadyRen

 

[Liana Mason]

There were usually not many moments in which Lia was just quiet and taking something in, but the bio luminescent algae in the cave had literally taken her breath away and she marveled at the scenery for quite some time before she realized Ruz had started a little fire.

She immediately made her way over and tried to sweet the water of her skin and get as much out of her hair as possible. She was shivering as the chilly breeze swept across her skin, yet the fire immediately helped with that. "Thank you for making that fire...and sure! I enjoy talking with you".

She leaned back with a warm smile, her dark blue eyes meeting his gaze as she had another question on her mind. "Where will you go next? If go get off this island, that is...do you have any missions lined up with your master, or oh, when do your trials start?".

@SlagathorTheUnknown

 

[Ruzaan Kai]

Seeing Lia shiver, Ruzaan scooted over until he was next to his friend and, if she was comfortable with it, threw an arm across her shoulders to try and warm her up along with the fire. This would last until she leaned back, at which point Ruzaan would reclaim his arm for his own and stretch out on the sand so that he was facing the ceiling as well, thinking. Two of Lia's questions were relatively easy to answer.

"I don't know where I'll be sent next, do you?" he admitted; his last mission to Kashyyyk alongside Samara had taken him weeks to recover from, although if this holiday was any indication the Council would find a mission for him sooner rather than later. "And I actually don't have a master" he admitted, wincing internally as he spoke that shame aloud. Lia didn't seem like the judgmental type, but not being selected by a Knight had always been something Ruzaan had struggled with. "I've gotten to work with a lot of Knights as a result, though... and quite a few Padawans as well." Perhaps he and Lia might even go on a mission together someday, although Ruzaan was quite happy to be spending time with her in a more relaxed setting. He'd made strong bonds with those he'd gone on missions with, but much preferred to get to know someone at a more casual pace.

Lia's third question was the hardest to respond to. She'd asked about the Trials, something that Ruzaan had been interrogated about by a lot of people recently. It was no secret that he was perhaps the most experienced non-Knight in the whole Jedi Order, but he had thus far declined Knighthood. "As for the trials (link for overview), I think that I meet the requirements for all of them except for one" he continued, hesitantly going into more detail with Lia than he had with anyone else thus far. The Order didn't necessarily require that one pass all the trials to become a Knight, but Ruzaan saw them as key to his readiness for being a fully-fledged Jedi.

According to Jedi custom, a trial could take place either by design, or it could be recognized after a particularly notable event had occurred; in Ruzaan's case, it was exclusively the latter. "I passed the Trial of Skill by defeating a Dark-side user alongside Maura" he recounted, reminded of the encounter by the light of the fire behind them; fire that had consumed the Twi'lek at his command. "The Trial of Spirit was on Tython, inside the old temple there. I faced off against a future version of myself." This cave was so much more peaceful than the abandoned library he'd been exploring.

"The Trial of Courage was during the battle for Kabal when the Sith attacked." By all accounts he should've died or been captured, being the only Jedi present, but apparently the difference between foolishness and bravery depended on the outcome. "And the Trial of Flesh was when I was wounded on Felucia" he said, quietly. Ruzaan couldn't help but shiver at the memories of his first, hellish battle. There had been other occasions where he'd overcome injuries or extreme adversary, but that battle in particular had haunted him ever since. Even his choice of swimwear today- a modest swimsuit that covered his chest- was because of the scars he'd received during the fight.

"It's the Trial of Insight that I don't feel like I've passed before" he admitted. "In fact, I've definitely failed it a few times" - he didn't feel the need to go into detail about how he'd made friends with multiple Sith without knowing it- "and even now I'm not confident in that area." Ruzaan shook away unhappy memories and his own current doubts, tearing his gaze away from the ceiling and taking solace in Lia's eyes instead. "How about you? Any idea what's in your future?"

@LadyRen

 

[Liana Mason]

Liana didn't mind the friendly arm around her shoulder at all and was even grateful for the friendly gesture. It did help, together with the skin that was slowly drying before the two of them would just fall back into the sand and stare up at the ceiling.

"I don't know either..", there was always work, often she was called to assist somewhere spontaneously, which she didn't mind, but it seemed like for him it was just the same. "And I don't either now as well", she then softly replied, realizing that he felt quite negative about it even though she didn't mind working with different Knights and padawan at all. "It's not a bad thing, you know? I've grown a lot by my work with many different Jedi, and I guess so did you", she encouragingly added.

She intently listened to what he explained about his trials, impressed by all the challenges he had overcome. "This is great! See, you've already come far". He didn't seem to happy about the trial of Insight, but Lia didn't mind helping him with confidence again. "You sound very reflected. Maybe it was a little too early back then? I'm pretty sure you're almost there". He didn't sound like he wanted to elaborate and she accepted that choice completely.

"Hmm...I feel like I'm ready as well. I've seen some very bad things and they had helped me grow a lot. I believe I won't be a padawan much longer", she replied as he asked for her future, rolling to the side and facing him with a smile. "I'm excited for the adventures for us to come. Maybe we can help the Galaxy together at some point". It was a beautiful thought as she knew they clicked rather well.

@SlagathorTheUnknown

 

[Ruzaan Kai]

Ruzaan's anxiety about not having a master eased somewhat, both as he shared the fact with Lia and as she admitted that he was not alone in that situation... nor was he alone in not knowing what was to come next. "Yep- working with a lot of Jedi has meant that I've had many teachers" he agreed with her, realizing that perhaps he'd come off as too pessimistic in his earlier comments; it was very difficult to feel ashamed for long in Lia's company. "It's made for a unique experience, that's for sure!" Some things, he'd told himself, were the will of the Force; a vast, unknowable power that all too often made no sense to him.

He also wouldn't push the topic of his Trial of Insight; he knew that his learning wouldn't stop just because he'd become a Jedi Knight, but he knew deep down that it was perhaps the most dangerous trial to someone like him. Ruzaan had always been community-oriented, and his selflessness served him well as a Jedi, but it had also gotten him into situations that he'd been lucky to walk away from. Bodies healed much easier than minds or hearts, and from time to time he still found himself wondering what had come of Malou, his onetime friend who had also been a Sith.

Ruzaan studied Lia's face as she talked about her own journey- using far less words than he had, she painted a similar picture; lessons learned through difficult challenges. What was even more admirable was how she'd maintained a genuine positivity throughout. The Togruta mirrored her movements and turned so that he was on his side facing her as well, propping his head up with one arm as he briefly imagined a future mission with Lia. "Maybe we'll be Knighted together" he said with a smile. "And a mission together would be awesome! This'd better not be the last time we cross paths."

Ruzaan stifled a yawn as he tried to think of a question to keep the conversation going. If he fell asleep, he knew, it would be morning before he knew it and instead of feeling safe and valued in a magical cave with Lia, they'd both be back on whatever uncertain paths lay ahead of them. "What's something that you haven't done yet that you want to?" he asked, deciding not to clarify further. Lia was welcome to interpret it as either a question about her time as a Jedi, or about the varying activities they'd done thus far on the island.

@LadyRen

 

[Liana Mason]

The conversation continued and she could feel his tension fading. Maybe he had seen it from a wrong, more pessimistic angle, but Lia was always happy when she could infect others with her positive thinking and make them reflect differently.

She kept listening with great interest until he trailed off with this subject and started a new one. "Oh yes! That would be awesome! And I am absolutely convinced that this will not be the last time we met!", she cheerfully joined in, glancing at the mesmerizing ceiling above and imagining going on shared adventures.

"Hmm...that's a great question!", she mused, pondering on his words for a while. "There are so so many things I'd love to try....ike when I'm knighted, I want to train and teach padawans as well. I've learnt so much and I want to share my knowledge and experience", she turned to him again, a warm smile on her lips. "What about you?". She still enjoyed their pleasant conversation in the magical cave.

@SlagathorTheUnknown

 

[Ruzaan Kai]

"I can totally see you being an excellent teacher" Ruzaan replied, meeting Lia's eyes with sincerity in his. "You're very patient, you're intelligent, and it's comfortable to be around you." He'd heard of some Masters who all but intimidated their Padawans, but Lia he knew would be graceful and nurturing when the time came to mentor another Jedi.

Even as he smiled at the idea of reconnecting with Lia sometime in the future, Ruzaan couldn't help but wonder if such a thing would be possible. He knew as well as any that a Jedi's life could take them anywhere in the galaxy and oftentimes into danger; a 'tomorrow' was never guaranteed. The Togruta tried to focus on an answer to his own question, but found his own thoughts returning to his friends whenever he thought about the future. Arctus, Clove, Samara, and now Lia...

"What do you think of attachment?" he asked, then hastily explained more, realizing that hadn't been the question he'd truly meant to ask. "I mean, the older I get the more I understand that other people are what motivate me. And I guess whenever I think about the future I start hoping that the people who are important to me now are still in it in the years to come." Ruzaan chewed his lip; Togruta were social creatures by nature, but why did this train of thought feel at odds with the teachings of the Jedi? "I want to be around people that I value, because that's what helps me be the best I can be in any given situation. It sounds strange" he said, feeling suddenly defensive, "but I feel like I'm a better Jedi when I'm with people that I care about."

It was an uncomfortable for him, Ruzaan realized; teachings of the old Order forbid attachments, and the newer Jedi Order hadn't exactly embraced it, either; he could still remember some of the judgmental looks he'd gotten as rumors about a relationship between him and Clove had begun circulating. But if anyone was safe to talk about this kind of stuff with, it was Lia. "Does that make sense?"

@LadyRen

 

[Liana Mason]

There was perhaps not a better place in the Galaxy for them now where they could exchange their aspirations, deepest motives that drove them and generally a very interesting conversation. "Oh Ruz...you're too kind", now it was actually her blushing at the tirade of compliments he threw her way that immediately filled her with a pleasant warmth. "That's exactly why I can see you as a master to an apprentice as well. You're intelligent on so many levels, like especially on an emotional one, and that's such a precious value". Perhaps this was also exactly why she had immediately liked him that much.

"Hmm...", she mused, pondering on his words for quite a while. "I can completely understand that...I love my friends dearly and as they're just wonderful persons, I feel like they're pushing me further to constantly improve myself", she agreed with him, however still needing to elaborate.

"So yes. I know it's frowned upon and we all know how careful we have to be in order to keep our emotions out of the way of our duty, I don't think it's particularly wrong to have great friends. It's good to have people whom you can fully trust, but we should never let it threaten our inner peace", she explained, sensing how this subject made him a little uncomfortable though. She edged closer and pulled him into a hug, soothingly rubbing his back."It's not an easy topic...but conversations always help!".

@SlagathorTheUnknown

 

[Ruzaan Kai]

Although Ruzaan's blush wouldn't be as obvious due to the natural color of his skin, his face would redden slightly more at Lia's words. The Togruta wasn't sure what he thought about the possibility of taking on an apprentice of his own- such opportunities would have to wait until he'd made the rank of Knight, first- but Lia had a way of buoying his confidence. "Thanks" he replied, smiling through the bashfulness that tingled the tips of his montrals.

Ruzaan listened carefully to her next words as they continued exploring the topic of attachment. He'd not had many opportunities to talk about this with other Jedi, and to some extent he'd been afraid to even broach the subject. But thus far Lia had proven nothing but a kind and understanding friend, wise beyond her years, which eased some of his nerves on the matter. Her embrace, which he returned in kind, also helped.

"What about someone one might see as potentially more than a friend?" he asked when the hug was over, putting out the idea for them to discuss. He'd developed a crush or two in the past but hadn't acted on them, and as such had no experience with which to draw upon. "Do you think it's possible for two people to have an even closer connection and still remain..." a Jedi? The right word or words escaped him, and he looked to Lia to see if she'd understood his vague question.

@LadyRen

 

[Liana Mason]

It was funny how their engaging, interesting exchange almost made her forgot that they were in the middle of nowhere, actually stranded in the middle of the night. Well, she didn't care at all, actually, and wasn't even cold anymore and she was grateful for the opportunity their missed boat had offered.

"Hmm", now he was asking a very complicated question. Liana had had crushed..a lot actually. More than she'd ever admit, but she had gotten better in this area. Still, it was a difficult question. "Well, I do think we can't get too attached. I do believe Jedi can have genuine partnerships, but it will always be different than normal relationships as we still have to place the Order first. We also have to stay at peace with our feelings, so maybe it's actually rather difficult to be fully open to...". She let out a soft sigh and met his gaze. "What do you think?".

@SlagathorTheUnknown

 

[Ruzaan Kai]

Ruzaan nodded as he mulled over Lia's answer, generally agreeing with her words while marveling at her ability to speak with wisdom about a complicated topic. As someone still forming his ideas and values in regard to relationships of all kinds, it helped to hear a peer's perspective.

Like Lia, he found his own thoughts on the matter somewhat unclear, or at least difficult to communicate. "I think..." he began, chewing on his lower lip. "I think you're right that it's important for there to be peace within our feelings and for there to be a balance in any relationship- friendship or otherwise" he said, eyes flicking up to meet hers between thoughts. "But if the last few years have taught me anything, it's that the Order will always be there... it's people that come and go." Ruzaan swallowed once and stared at the ceiling; he'd buried friends, seen others leave the Order, and a few had even fallen to the Dark Side. "I think that when you choose people, and those same people also choose you, then that should be honored." He'd noticed a pattern of some budding romances being frowned upon within the Order and he was slightly fed up with it.

"I think that I'm a better Jedi for the relationships that I've had with others" Ruzaan said. "If I'm not fighting for other people, then who am I fighting for?" With some surprise, he realized that Lia was now firmly on that list of people he'd think of when his back was against the wall. "People like you."

@LadyRen

 

[Liana Mason]

Ruz was young, just like her, and yet he never failed to find the right, extremely wise and reflected words. Yes, in the end it was about balance and they were also protecting the people they held dearly next to the galaxy in general, but yes, he was also right about how the Order was always there for them.

"That's...amazingly put, Ruz. I agree", she warmly replied as she faced him again, blue eyes meeting his. "In the end, we have to stay in control of our emotions and yes, therefore there's a danger and becoming too attached...I lost my best friend Cirilla on a mission that was supposed to be easy, but it simply never was", she admitted, her tone shifting to more serious and genuine sadness.

"I had so many great people who helped me working through it and in the end I've gotten much stronger..but I've still learnt to always reflect on the bonds I'm forming", she explained quietly. "But yes, those bonds can still be a great source of strength. And I'm glad I can be your beacon in the night as well. It's the same for me. I'll think of you and will remember that there is always light in the darkness". She knew she'd even remember this pleasant exchange in the middle of nowhere and how she had found a new wonderful friend by 'coincidence', or well, maybe they had been destined to cross paths here.

@SlagathorTheUnknown

 

[Ruzaan Kai]

Ruzaan wasn't surprised when Lia shared a story of losing someone close, even as he'd hoped she had been able to avoid such a tragedy. The life of a Jedi was not an easy one. "I'm sorry" he said, reaching out to squeeze her hand gently. There was really nothing else that he could think of to say that didn't sound to him like an empty platitude, so the Togruta simply focused on being present. That, and hoping that it would be a long time before Lia or himself attended another funeral.

Like Lia, he found his thoughts drifting to the happy coincidence that had led them to meet. He certainly hadn't expected to have company after missing the boat, much less to have hit it off as well as he and Lia had. For the first time in a while, he felt the excitement of a new bond being formed; something he envisioned lasting beyond this night. "And thank you" he said quietly, after a pause, then met Lia's eyes as he realized that he'd said the words aloud. "I uh... I'm just thinking about tonight and meeting you, and stuff. I don't always get to connect with my fellow Padawans" -the Order had grown a little cliquey recently- "so it's nice to spend time with someone like you." The tips of his montrals were heating up again. "Uh, would you be interested in finding another time to hang out after tonight is over?" he asked. As much as he would've liked, at some point the dawn would come and with it, a new ferry. "I won't choke on a burrito next time, I promise" he said, hoping the attempt at humor might ease some of the sudden nerves he was feeling.

@LadyRen

 

[Liana Mason]

Ciri's memories where still a little painful even they she had learnt to process them all over the months. She still missed her, but well, this was only human. "Thank you", she gave him a warm smile, "I've processed and accepted it by now, but I'll never forget her", or that day...

She didn't want to dwell on it though and so she was grateful for how the conversation continued. "You're very welcome... but thank you for the great company as well!", she warmly replied, her eyes sparkling in delight. "Under that premise, okay!", she jokingly added, before she elaborated. "No really, I'd love that! It's a great balance and I've really enjoyed our talks", she admitted happily, beaming at him.

As much as she enjoyed it here, she knew the sun was about to rise soon and so after a little while she asked, "would you like to swim out? Maybe we can still discover something cool". Her suggestion was just an idea, so if he preferred to stay, she was also fine with it.

@SlagathorTheUnknown

 

[Ruzaan Kai]

"If you ever want to talk about her, just let me know" Ruzaan said, sincerely, before the topic shifted to the future instead of the past. "I've gotten a lot better at using my datapad, so just message or call me anytime." He couldn't do anything about Ciri's death, but he could give Lia a shoulder to lean on if she ever needed one, even as the Togruta recognized the signs of someone perhaps a bit further down their healing journey. Either way, there would be no judgement from him.

Ruzaan was pleasantly surprised that he found himself excited about the idea of future time spent with Lia; for the first time in a while, he was optimistic about something in his future. Far from the uncertainties presented by the Knighting process or his ever-elusive Trial of Insight, continuing to build a bond with Lia was something that didn't fill him with anxiety or dread. Just like tonight, that wasn't quite over yet, Lia was right; they'd balanced each other well thus far, and he found himself nodding in agreement that he had also enjoyed their conversations.

Ruzaan knew that he'd found a good friend for sure, and as he considered the way he couldn't help but smile back whenever she beamed at him, he realized that Lia was someone he'd even feel comfortable asking out to the next Jedi social. Shaking his head a little, almost instinctively, lest he get too far ahead of himself, Ruzaan squashed down those thoughts of the future. As far as he could tell, Lia hadn't indicated any romantic interest in him, so it was best to presume otherwise.

Besides, the night would be ending soon, and Lia had an idea for one more adventure. "Sounds good to me" Ruzaan agreed, moving to douse the small fire. He didn't exactly want to go back into the water, now that he was dry and comfortable, but that would be a necessary step at some point anyways if they wanted to catch the morning ferry. "Lead the way!" the Togruta said; he'd shown Lia this cave, so it was only fair that she chose their next activity or adventure.


@LadyRen

 

[Liana Mason]

His offer was very kind and so Liana replied, "Thank you! The same applies to you". She was truly grateful for this new friendship and would happily hit him up, not just to talk in darker times but maybe just to hang out and do something fun as well.

Lia was happy that Ruz was immediately down for the next adventure and so she got up to her feet with a warm smile on her lips. "Awesome, let's go!". She had no idea how late it actually was, but they had to move into the direction of the ferry port soon in order to actually take the first morning ferry back before they'd be missed.

She then waited for him to extinguish the fire before she let herself back into the water. Now that their bodies were heated, it felt terribly cold and it actually let her shudder, but she knew that swimming would help. "Okay, let's hope I'll find it again", the blonde padawan said to Ruz with a grin as she began to swim out of the cave.

They were then headed to the open waters, but still not too far out and slowly moving closer to the port. "Okay we'll have to create some light...but somewhere around here I found a pretty cool coral reef. What about a little challenge? Whoever finds it first can claim a little favor from the other?", she excitedly suggested, throwing him a wide smirk.

@SlagathorTheUnknown