Ask Welcome to the Jungle

[Renfry]

The woman's emotions were not very well hidden, and it didn't take long for Renfry to connect the dots. She probably should have done so earlier, but everything about this was so... weird. It wasn't anything Renfry was prepared for, but now that she sensed the turmoil inside Lyra it made sense.

Yes, he does, she said simply. She wasn't sure there was much he couldn't do if he set his mind to it, and she'd chosen to be his weapon. For better or worse, her choice was made, and she wasn't going to step away.

You're in love with him? she asked as bluntly as was her way. It would have been the sensitive thing to do pretty much anything else, but Renfry was equally surprised in her own way. Again, she shouldn't have been. Emryc had drawn her in, and she wondered how many others. But Lyra had pursued the line of questioning and it was Renfry's turn to be unrelenting.

She stopped and turned to look at the other woman, feeling the an array of emotions within the other woman including confusion and... was that anger? It was difficult to say.

If you have something to say to me, spit it out, she said. She almost surprised herself. A moment ago she'd wanted to leave the issue alone, but now she felt... defensive. And when she was defensive, she was direct. @GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

Renfry agreed with her and Lyra felt her shoulders drop as the moment fell into silence for the briefest seconds, feeling the relief to be out of the spotlight when she spoke again. Her blue eyes widened in surprise; Renfry was pointed in her question, though Lyra didn't even think she heard the woman ask and instead stated, as though she were questioning her own intuition regarding what she felt from the redheaded Sith.

Her step stuttered and then she stopped, feeling the world dropping from under her feet. She felt suddenly vulnerable and therefore unsafe; slowly she relaxed her fingers, having not realized she had clenched them tightly into a fist. Her gaze hardened and her lips pursed as she tried to quickly decide how to deny such an accusation. With saying such a phrase out loud, Lyra suddenly felt foolish that she considered the truth of the matter. The woman was not patient in waiting for the girl's response, demanding for her to speak as she turned to meet her face to face.

"I am not in love with him," she started emphasizing Renfry's word choice, "I love him." she stated almost breathlessly as though it took all the willpower she could find to bring those words to surface, to own them and allow no one else tell her what it was that she felt. Though she didn't know if she could ever say those words to him, they were dangerous, even now to this woman who may also have loved him at some point, Lyra was uncertain how she would react. She knew how to get back to the port, didn't she? Just in case this woman became so disgusted at her response, she left her out here. It was certainly southeast of here...or she thought...

She waited for Renfry to speak again, her own inner turmoil was silent to the woman; those three words were the anchor that kept her from being washed away and consumed.

@Phoenix

 

[Renfry]

Renfry's gaze was piercing as she looked at the other woman. Perhaps another piece of Emryc had rubbed off on Renfry, though once more, only a piece. Lyra made sure to correct Renfry's choice of words, which very nearly earned a dismissive comment, but instead was met with silence.

The Nightsister waited.

She was expecting the redhead to spit out precisely whatever angry response she wanted toward Renfry, but it didn't come, and instead Renfry began to mull over precisely what had been said. Lyra loved Emryc. She couldn't say she was surprised, and yet what could she actually say? Give warning about it? Well first of all, she was fairly sure Lyra knew what she was getting into, and secondly, she wouldn't have likely listened to Renfry anyway, what with the potential conflict of interest. And thirdly, how could Renfry give advice she wouldn't follow herself? Well, quite simply to be honest, it wasn't hard to give advice it was hard to follow it.

She noted how the redhead's fist clenched, how she looked simultaneously like she was ready to lash out and ready to bolt off toward the starport at any moment. It was the look of a cornered animal.

And? she asked. Not to say that what she'd said wasn't enough, but she knew there was more. Renfry had just admitted to being the lover to the man that Lyra had just claimed to love. There had to be more to say than that, and Renfry wanted to get it all out now. She could practically sense it. And as she waited, she thought of the things Lyra had said earlier. The statements about dating, the dreamy, sing-song way she'd spoken, and the general demeanor. She wondered if his apprentice had actually experienced that or only dreamed about it.

 

[Darth Tiamat]

All she could say was And?

There was a bit of irritation that came with Renfry's response, but Lyra couldn't figure out if it was how the woman had spoken, or if it were her anger directed at herself for continuing to play into the feelings she had for Emryc. She glanced away and felt her fingers curl into a fist against before relaxing and facing Renfry once more.

"And what?" she tossed back, "Are you going to tell me how stupid I am for allowing my emotions get the better of me? That I should repent for such a sin?" Lyra threw her arms out in dramatic fashion, "Give me a sad-sap story about how you loved him? How I should learn from your lessons and all the other girls that came before us?" she folded her arms.

"Its not just that simple to turn everything off, and this bond he and I have...its torturous!" she growled, "I'm sure it would be easier if I could just cut it, snap it, whatever it takes, but the Force finds it amusing." Lyra scoffed, the sea of emotions that were churning earlier were now finding their way out; it was hard to keep them from spilling over. Each feeling shook the pool and the waves would just pinch over the lip of the edge and fall from her tongue.

"I see him on the holos, I feel stretched thin when he is away, but when he back beside me, I feel...whole..." Lyra paused, her gaze leaving Renfry, "I don't kn-, No, I do know, I love him." she spoke out loud those words again, "I think the worst part is I don't think he could love me back." she felt her heart drop. Lyra knew he cared for her, he would put up with the worst and her best parts, but that's as far as she knew. "That isn't what we do as Sith, because love... it will consume me and I will lose myself and the power I have gained will be lost to my own arrogance." Lyra rubbed her face with her palm, trying to find some grounding as she was swept away by her thoughts.

"It is weakness. And maybe if I am lucky I will have at least a sliver of what you have with him before I am fully consumed by it."

@Phoenix

 

[Renfry]

Renfry simply listened in silence, perhaps even more infuriating than if she had lashed out at the other woman. There was a moment where she felt a flash of anger at what the other woman said, but it faded after a moment. She wondered what exactly the redhead saw when she looked at her. She seemed to think she knew a great deal about what Renfry thought and felt. In fact, that was what was making her angry.

Her first instinct was to lash out, but she held her tongue. She heard the things Lyra said and she knew. She knew some of the feelings she described. She knew the longing to be within him and the feeling of directionless without. She was slowly coming to terms with it herself, but she couldn't force that on anyone else.

Do not assume that you know anything about me, she said, her voice now almost a hiss. The moment she said the words, she could feel anger swelling within her. A flood of emotions about what she had already been through, the dismissive tone of the redhead's statements, and the general disdain with which she now treated Renfry. They triggered something inside of her.

No, he won't ever love you. Or me. Or probably anyone. And you're right, he has a way of getting what he wants in the end, and you'll give it to him in exchange for whatever you can get, she said. Those words he'd said to her still haunted her and she hated herself for it in a way.

But I'm not going to talk you out of it. I probably couldn't even if I tried, she said, knowing full well the toxic draw that pulled her in.

It sounded like she was going into this with eyes... at least half-open. The rest she would discover on her own, but one thing still hung in Renfry's mind. A selfish and angry thought that she'd already given voice to.

But you have not earned the right to demean me or what I've experienced when you know nothing about me, she said. @GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

Lyra unintentionally hit a nerve with the woman, she could see the anger behind her eyes as she warned her about assuming her business. Lyra quickly became guarded and did not see this as her problem, if she wanted to take everything the redhead said personally, Lyra wouldn't stop her. Though there was a seemingly parallel understand on the habits of Emryc and what the two of them expected from him and the consequences that followed, good and bad.

She tried to think of what she had given to him to get what she wanted, she never seen herself as anyone who had anything of use for him. She had even tried many times to question from him what it was about herself that made him chose to...well, to put up with her. He saw things in her she could not see or did not wish to see, after all, he did take her on as an apprentice and made her chose her own path under her own will. So what was her deal with Emryc? It was clearly from Lyra's perspective perhaps more turbulent than herself and her Master; then again, Emryc was never the turbulent one, it was all herself.

Perhaps she should meditate on that more...

The girl's blue eyes focused on Renfry as she expressed her lack of sway in talking her out of her feelings for Emryc and Lyra crossed her arms. Now she was going to lecture her about making assumptions about who she was, "Demean you? Maybe that's what you invite and allow others to see." she huffed, "No one cares what you have experienced or been through, just like you will not care about my feelings for Emryc after this, or what I do, or who I will be unless it interferes with your path to power." she certainly knew that from her own experience among the Sith.

"So, you have anything else?" she spoke sharply.

@Phoenix

 

[Renfry]

Lyra's words actually hurt Renfry more than she'd expected because she feared they may be true. She was someone's tool, and others saw that because it was true. The question came back to whether or not she was okay with that. Well, if you don't act like a dip about it, then that doesn't mean you have to lose everything about yourself, she said, and yet it gnawed at her.

What are you even talking about? Renfry asked angrily as Lyra talked about Renfry's "path to power." What did that even have to do with anything?

If you don't care what I've been through, then stop making implications or outright statements about it, she said angrily. That was the entire point she was making, and whether the redhead would see what she had done or not, Renfry didn't know. Renfry didn't particularly want to share the details anyway, but she certainly wasn't going to be having people spinning stories about her either aloud or in their own minds.

Forget it, she said after a moment more, shaking her head and turning to walk away. This was pointless. Why was she even arguing with her anyway? Was it because Lyra was someone she actually kind of liked? She rolled her eyes as she kept walking and pushed the thought angrily from her mind. @GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

She avoided looking at Renfry, arms still crossed, her brow narrowed as she attempted to not entertain anything else Renfry was speaking about. Instead she festered internally, her annoyance an irritation bubbled and churned with her thoughts as she tried to remain still among the waves. She was entirely annoyed that Renfry called her out while putting two and two together and she felt she needed to defend and justify all of what she felt and knew. It also made her begin to wonder if Emryc secretly knew of her feelings. He was good at not speaking or indicating what he felt or knew, not just about her, but anything really and it was an uneasy feeling to think how much he could sense from her, especially with their bond as master and apprentice.

Renfry started to walk away, dismissing the topic and Lyra stood in place seeing if she really meant it or would turn around and come back with just one more comment. Her face and jaw relaxed along with her shoulders as she took in a deep breath seeing Renfry beginning to disappear behind foliage and the girl broke into a quick jog to catch up.

"He is insufferable." she called out and slowed her pace to walk beside Renfry, falling into silence as she let any lingering thoughts from their spat settle.

"So... what do you plan to use your outpost for?" she asked, shifting topics.

@Phoenix

 

[Renfry]

Renfry was annoyed enough to simply continue walking through the jungle, not waiting for the other woman to catch up or follow. It was a good thing Lyra actually went out of her way to catch up lest she be left behind.

She heard Lyra's declaration about Emryc and was fairly certain she'd used those precise words to describe him before. She couldn't disagree, but she wasn't sure she wanted to discuss him with Lyra anymore. She silently brooded, letting the sounds of the jungle wash over her as they headed out.

What did she plan to use the outpost for? It had many uses. It had healing herbs, a strong connection to the Force, and an advantageous position along the major trade route.

It has a lot of uses, she said curtly at first, still angry before deciding that she needed to be more mature than that.

It'll be a lookout point of what passes through the sector and a potent world to practice the arcane, she said. It was one of a few worlds that had energy similar to Dathomir, and it was one of the reasons she'd developed such an affinity for it.

And the villagers are powerful warriors. They can help us maintain its security, she added. And those were only a few of the reasons. @GABA

 

[Darth Tiamat]

Internally, Lyra recoiled to Renfry's curt response, she should have expected it as the woman was just offended by her moments earlier. She opened her mouth to speak her mind, finding it not worth it if she was going to be continued to be snapped at, but Renfry had continued, explaining the advantageous of the location. Lyra only listened, finding herself slightly distracted by the rumbling of thunder and the sky opening with rain.

If the Felucians were as wary of outsiders as Renfry said they were, she couldn't imagine there being an issue with trespassers as she recalled their uneasiness with her being present even with Renfry. She wondered if there would be problems bringing other Sith; there were certainly some who absolutely refused to humble themselves. She could see things turning bad quickly if the wrong Sith came to this world, or it may not be an issue at all, given the strength of their warriors. Shaking her head, she heard her teachings remind her not to worry about other people's problems. Certainly if things did go wrong, it was not her issue to handle. Though for some reason, she did feel that concern with Renfry but ultimately blamed it from some underlying feelings of guilt for making her angry earlier.

There was only silence from the girl as she kept her thoughts and questions to herself; her own mind still nipping at the conversation from earlier. She tried not to focus on anything but the forest itself, keeping her thoughts and feelings tightly wound to avoid Renfry from picking up on anything like earlier. Maybe the less she talked the better, the less she knew about others and herself, probably the best. Inhaling deeply, she took in feel and smells of the forest from the rain that was still coming down; it brought an earthly smell reminding Lyra of something from her past that she couldn't quite put her finger on.

@Phoenix

 

[Renfry]

It was perhaps a bit awkward on the way out of the jungle as each woman's thoughts turned inward, but some of the statements lingered with her nonetheless. Perhaps there was self-reflection to be had here in the future, but that was for a different time and day. Right now, she needed to get out of here. They both did.

They were one step closer to conquering Felucia, but she knew there was still work to be done. Over the roots, under the branches, and back to the river, the two were able to follow it back to the small space port without incident. She expected she would be spending a great deal more time with the natives in the future, and she felt a small sense of excitement at what she was building. It felt good, and she had Lyra to thank for helping her with it. She let out a quiet begrudging breath at the thought. Perhaps holding grudges was stupid.

//Thread @GABA