Vilo Targas

Hakon

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Vilo is currently seeking to become a Padawan underneathe a Jedi Master. I was unclear if the Jedi Order was located on Coruscant or Ossus. Vilo is on -THAT- planet.

>>Accessing Archives.. Requested Profile: Vilo Targas

>>Stats
Name: Vilo Targas
Age: 19
Race: Zabrak
Height: 6'
Weight: 183 lbs.
Alignment: Jedi/Padawan

>>Strength
Physical Strength: Average
Force Affinity: Exceptional.
Agility: Slightly higher than Average.

>>Jedi Profile
Rank: Padawan
Council/Group: None
Master: None
Padawan: N/A
Lightsaber Style: VII
Current Station/Assignment: Jedi Order HQ/Training
Service History: None
Duel History: None

Origin: Vilo Targas was born on the planet Iridonia 19 years ago to an unknown mother, cared for by his father, Loch Vargas. Only staying on his home planet for the first three years of his life, he has absorbed very little in the way of culture from his Zabrak heritage, instead borrowing most traits from the social interaction gained on his second residence, the planet Coruscant.
Arriving at the age of three, he had limited social interaction until he was a bit older. His father, a workaholic by necessity, was rarely there for the developing child, causing a good deal of his time to be spent in the market and more seedy sections of the Capital. Well aware of his natural affinities, Vilo was seen as a youth as being slightly reckless, yet a very capable (And into his teenage years, a very desirable) young man. At nearly eight years of age, he was discovered by a Jedi traveling through the market on a more pressing goal. Interested in the man's odd appearance, and for the lack of a competant father figure, Vilo approached the Jedi, attempting conversation until the Jedi was forced to take notice. And take notice he did; with expected midichlorian counts ranking among those in the Jedi Council, it was obvious that this child should be admitted into the Jedi Order for proper training.
Admitted to the Jedi Order at the age of 8, and due to the warlike nature of the galaxy, has managed to outlive three Jedi trainers due to their deaths in combat (It should be noted, that none of the death's are Vilo's responsibility, he was only present for one, and then, incapacitated.)

Around the age of 15, during one of his stints without a Jedi Master, Vilo preoccupied himself by tinkering more with electronics and mechanical things, constructing a multi-purpose humanoid droid which he named Prospect. All throughout his years, Vilo used Prospect mostly as someone to talk to to fight feeling lonely, but also as a training partner: As an entity with immunity to the Force, it was very slightly harder for Vilo to predict the movements of the droid running training programs, thus forcing him to improve his actual technique.

Now at the age of 19, Vilo is nearing completion of his training and seeks a final Master to complete his training, contruct his saber, and join the ranks as Knight.

>>Physical: In terms of physical condition, Vilo is in absolute prime physical condition for an Iridonian without exceeding natural racial limits. He does not exhibit any form of Super-natural or super-human enhancement beyond what is capable with the Force. His appearance is substandard of most Zabraks, as he features no facial tattooing whatsoever. The vestigial horns upon his head are however more prominent than others of his species. Although a fan of changing outfits and appearances, Vilo is most commonly seen in a set of lightly armored Jedi training robes. Against most standards seen in the Jedi Order, Vilo's robes are relatively close fitting.

>>Gear/Equipment: He is mostly known to carry a training lightsaber as he has not yet completed the necessary training to have constructed his own saber. He carries no personal effects, instead keeping only his training saber and a personal holographical commlink.

>>Known Force Capability: As a Padawan, Vilo only has useful capability in the Core Force abilities of Push, Pull, Speed, and Sight. Currently, it is suspected that the limits of his ability to lift are around one ton. He shows the unnatural ability to amplify his Lightsaber technique greatly using the Force in certain ways. He greatly increases his combat and defense speed, as well as the ability to "see" his opponents strikes two or three moves inadvance, leaving him unnatural dueling ability when properly utilized. Besides a few warning signs to maintain caution on, Vilo is mostly expected to be an ideal Jedi, showing little signs for the possibility in succumbing to the dark side of the Force or abusing his abilities.

>>Known Acquaintances: After joining the Order, most of Vilo's personal life contacts were severed, including family and friends. Since joining the Jedi Order, he has managed to forge atleast two friendships, both appearing to be of convenience rather than friendship. His first, the droid Prospect, is more utility than friend. Watching Vilo's interaction with the droid however would lead one to think he treats it as a way to vent the loneliness experienced within the Order. The other friendship is beleived to be with a parts-vendor in the market with whom Vilo has a working relationship in his part-time hobby of tinkering and mechanic work.

>>End Record
 
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Storm

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I'd expand pretty much every section, remove the thumbnail image and just leave the main one, as well as removing the caps and instead making it look more aesthetically pleasing in other ways. Nineteen's a good age for a padawan here, or you'd be able to do very little with them. The personality's somewhat cliche, and has some mary-sue-ish tendencies. Otherwise, it's not too bad for a first profile.
 

Hakon

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I'd expand pretty much every section, remove the thumbnail image and just leave the main one, as well as removing the caps and instead making it look more aesthetically pleasing in other ways. Nineteen's a good age for a padawan here, or you'd be able to do very little with them. The personality's somewhat cliche, and has some mary-sue-ish tendencies. Otherwise, it's not too bad for a first profile.

Thanks for the look-over. I rewrote it per what you said, from the perspective of an entry into the Jedi Archive, and I think the format worked out pretty well. Lemme know if I can improve it any more! Thanks!
 

Storm

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Thanks for the look-over. I rewrote it per what you said, from the perspective of an entry into the Jedi Archive, and I think the format worked out pretty well. Lemme know if I can improve it any more! Thanks!

I think the history could still be expanded, but it's much better. Looks really pretty good, now. :) You know where to go to get a master?
 

Hakon

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I think the history could still be expanded, but it's much better. Looks really pretty good, now. :) You know where to go to get a master?

Yup, I know the Master-Finding. I do have one request for a suggestion, though. Being that most Padawan are picked up into the Jedi Order at a very young age, I was curious if you have any suggestions on what kind of history you can give the characters prior to their introduction into the Jedi? I thought about adding some history about exploits within the Order, but I didn't really want to jump ahead of myself, so to speak.
 

Storm

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Yup, I know the Master-Finding. I do have one request for a suggestion, though. Being that most Padawan are picked up into the Jedi Order at a very young age, I was curious if you have any suggestions on what kind of history you can give the characters prior to their introduction into the Jedi? I thought about adding some history about exploits within the Order, but I didn't really want to jump ahead of myself, so to speak.

Don't have them found so young, would be my advice.

http://www.thestarwarsrp.com/forum/showthread.php?p=254545#post254545

That was my first Jedi padawan one, and has some ideas for history pre-being found.

Might help you.
 

Storm

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Thanks for all the help, Storm, making him pop in a little later allowed for some additional detail to be filled in on him.

Any time, mate.

And nice - I look forward to it's completion, and Role Playing with you some time.
 

Lavi

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The Order is mainly located on Ossus, though it has presence on Coruscant with a monastery.
 
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