Vilado Lobri

Vilado

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Vilado Lobri was born on Dantooine to Miralukan farmers. Not much is known of them but they were rumoured to be powerful Force users. Days after birth he was given to a young human couple for reasons unknown.

Unable to produce a child Mars and Laura Feldon happily took the human-looking babe. They covered his eyes and took him to Tatooine. They named him Vilado after an ancient Jedi Knight. The immigrants were a kind pair who had purchased a patch of land in the water parched desert. What they didn't know was that the land was only so cheap due to it's location. In the heart of gang territory. Hoodwinked and unable to sell the land off the family farmed moisture and raised the Miraluka as their own. Having to pay "protection" money the couple and their adoptive baby carved a new life for themselves. They raised him until the age of five when they were brutally slaughtered by gangsters. The thugs of a Trandoshan cromelord killed the family, who had been past due on their tribute. They killed the man in town and took the woman outside.

Unexpectedly they left the strange alien child alone once his blindfold fell off and his hollow eye sockets were revealed. Ignorant and stimmed up the thugs feared harming the the child. Some feared he was a desert apparition and would kill them and others thought he was an abomination and fled his presence. For whatever reason Vilado was spared but left to forage on his own. Luckily he was found by a human who had been related to Laura as a cousin. She came to put her relative's bones to rest and collect any property, which was now hers. She was beautiful and kind and found the crying boy alone. She took pity on the creature. She wrapped a bandage around his eyes and took him aboard her ship. Scsred,crying and lonely the child was not hesitant to go.

She fed him and took care of him intending only to find a suitable home for the child.Unexpectedly the captain, Erluli Lobri, a wookie pilot named Grandaca and a tech master human man named Jodali Ferrin fell in love with the toddler. The unwed human couple became his parents and the wookie became his fuzzy uncle. Vilado often returned to his time with his makeshift family in times of trouble. The times when he truly felt happy. Times when he would fly the freighter from Uncle Grandie's lap, eventually becoming better than dad. Or learning to slice from his adoptive father becoming so good that mom had to continually ensure her diary wasn't full of child nonsense. His favorite memories were when his mother taught him to "listen." As an unknown Force sensitive Erluli had learned to sense the shifts in the Force allowing for her highly successful smuggling career.Vilado learned to do this and was even able to use it with his Sight to understand his uncle! Those were the good times, before the Empire ripped it all away.

Vilado had know his family was unorthodox but he loved them. Even when Mom explained her occupation Vil simply nodded his head. His love for them was genuine and would not be changed by the fact that his family were criminals. Erluli explained that before Vilado that she had stolen, and gambled and smuggled very 'bad' things. She claimed the Mirlulkan child had changed her life and that now she helped smuggle people,goods and aide in and out of the notorious Empire. She was good at what she did and Vilado never went hungry.

At the age of ten the smuggling crew was preparing for the biggest opp of their careers.Supposedly contracted by a wealthy senator to rescue stranded Jedi Knights, the payoff would be huge but so would the danger. Leaving the boy with a contact of Jodali's on Nar Shaddaa the team left. What they didn't know was that it was a trap by the Sith Empire to destroy the reputable smugglers.

Unprepared, the crew was attacked and cornered. Transmitting one last holo the family gathered and told the crying boy that everything would be fine. His mother told him that should they not make it back that he was to find any Jedi he could. Vilado agreeded and tearfully said goodbye to his family. Even the ever stoic Grandaca wept as he rumbled a goodbye to the child. Moments later the transmission was cut short by an explosion.

Vilado's caretaker changed dramatically. Named Hiros Gandon, the Kel'Dor explained that he would honor his promise to Jodali. He would feed and clothe him but Vil was going to work for it. Horiibly addicted to drugs the cruel caretaker forced Vilado into child labor and the boy became an unwilling member of the local hutt's gang. The gang was told by Hiros of his piloting and slicing prowess and sure enough his slicing and piloting skills were exploited. He became proficient in both. From slicing into vaults or piloting the ship of a drugged up smuggler. Vilado HAD to get better, or suffer punishment. His family had taught him well and in the face of adversity, he flourished. Uncle Grandie tought him to be noble and to protect the weak which he showed by standing up for himself and others. Ma taught him about empathy and compassion and he used these to console and help his friends. Dad taught him to think and be curious which he used to escape the rotten underworld and find sanctuary in his mind.

As he matured he became very big. Dwarfing most children Vilado was put into manual labor and the work strengthened him. He became very strong and often intimidated others. He could beat most anyone in arm wrestling and never had trouble with his work.

During this time he found a litter of Kath hounds that had been shipped to a local Hutt. Designed as snacks the pups had been designed to grow large and be easy to tame. Fortunately the greedy Hutt grew tired of the yapping mutts and decided that he could not handle a year of waiting for the dogs to mature. He ordered his men to kill them. Before the horror stricken Miraluka could intervene only one remained. He snatched the pup out of harms way and pushed the idiotic thugs down. Both being extremely scrawny they could not rise in time to fire on the fleeing boy. Vilado cared for the pup as if it was a baby. The dog showed him responsibility and what it feels to be needed. It matured quickly and became the bark to Vil's bite. Often causing trouble and needing to be rescued the curious hound was a twisted reflection of his master. The two became inseparable and he named the hound Turbo.

After years of plotting he finally planned a way to get him and other like minded children off world. He saved a large amount of money and bought a huge amount of drugs for Gandon. The addict greedily devoured them and passed into a spice induced stupor. He boarded with the children and stole the ship of Gandon. He fled the system carrying everything he owned. His faithful mutt Turbo and almost a dozen children blasted out of the port and made the jump to safe space. Seeking shelter and a chance at a better life he locked onto Coruscant and blasted away....

Tracked by the Hutt gang for stealing a ship and putting all of their youngest members into Coruscant youth protection Vilado needed help. He remembered his promise to his mother and decided to pursue his long time goal. Seeking the Jedi. He wanted to honor his mother's wish. He was regretful that it took almost five years but the wait was worth it. After finding his sensitivity he was admitted into the Jedi Order.

Vilado had to start from the ground up and he quickly found that learning was only fun when it was interesting. Martial training held his attention and he quickly rose to the top. After mastering basic Force concepts he was trained in philosophy and code. Luckily Vilado was extremely interested in all things Jedi and the foundation he built with Erluli only expedited his advancement.

After years of training under the guidance of Jedi masters he learned to harness and control the Force within him. He finally felt at peace and his life was perfect. Advancing quickly, Vilado mastered his basic Force powers and the basic fighting style of Shi-Cho. Seeking to pass the initiate trials and grab the attention of a Jedi to become his master, he performed and was noticed.

Noticed by none other than Jedi Knight Tross. Excited with the pairing and ready to utilize his training they ventured out to right wrong and show the universe that the Jedi way was still strong and alive.

NAME: Vilado Lobri
FACTION:New Jedi Order
RANK: Padawan
SPECIES: Miraluka
AGE: 15
GENDER: Male
HEIGHT: 5'10
WEIGHT: 170
EYES: N/A
HAIR: Black
SKIN: Light Brown
CREDITS:0
DISTINGUISHING MARKS: Rough skinned and muscular from his time as manual labor in the Hutt gang. Having no eyes he wraps a brown blindfold around his head at all times.
FORCE SENSITIVE: yes

STRENGTH: 9/10 Vilado is extremely strong and refines his strength with rigorous training. He was able to easily lift crates filled to capacity and defeated most hurt thugs in feats of strength at the age of thirteen.
DEXTERITY: 4/10 Vilado is nimble in combat but can otherwise be considered clumsy. He often misplaces his feet and misjudges distance due to his reliance upon The Force for his eyes.
CONSTITUTION: 8/10 Vilado has the endurance to match his strength and can take alot of damage.He also tends to be stubborn, taking part in philosophical arguments and almost never having changed his views.
INTELLIGENCE: 6/10 Vilado is not considered intelligent by most, but deep inside he holds an obsession for knowledge. Once Vilado is hooked on something it is hard to sway him from learning about it. His curiosity is his guiding force and sometimes is powerful enough to break his introverted thoughts and cause him to seek answers. He also has trouble grasping abstract concepts, as Vilado has an easier time talking about things he can sense.
WISDOM: 7/10 Vilado has the soul of one much more experienced. His hardships and compassion have made him incredibly mature and thoughtful. He listens to others and considers how they might feel. He loves to ponder and this hobby often leads him on crusades of knowledge where he seeks to quench the momentary thirst that ignorance gives him
CHARISMA: 2/10 While often considered handsome he is very awkward and has trouble speaking to strangers. It does not help that many are intimidated by his huge form and
clumsy ways. He often drives others away simply by showing up. If a first glance doesn't drive you away his reputation for falling will.
FORCE POWERS:
Force Sight-species
Art of Movment-initiate
Force Speed-initiate

SKILLS:
Slicing- Learned(proficient)
Piloting-Learned(proficient)

LIGHTSABER/SWORD FORMS:
Shi-Cho:Initiate training

STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES:
Vilado has always had a natural affinity for the Force, he relies on it to see and interact with the world. He has always been strong and this has caused him to be used as the "muscle" many times. Contrary to the stereotype Vilado is not an oaf he is actually very thoughtful and always has a word of advice, he always looks before leaping and often sees what others can not.

With Vilado's great strength comes unmatched clumsiness. He can only overcome this when he focuses but otherwise he is known to fall and drop things and is a complete mess. He is also subject to intense urges of curiosity, suppressing it with his will helps but he still must know. Some would consider him a walking encyclopedia on things he knows but admittedly, it isn't alot. Vilado has trouble becoming interested in abstract concepts and often attempts to ignore them causing people to assume he is an idiot.

GEAR:
Jedi Padawan robes

SHIP:Vilado owns a small freighter that he stole from his old caretaker. A Ghtroc 440 Light Freighter, the ship is centuries old and the barley running. The starship bears Vilado where he needs to go but he often has to take precautions that he would not have to if he had a better ship. He must make repairs on the spot or constantly face the threat of an explosion or a break down. Cheap and old she is sturdy and in honor of that fact she was named Reliable.
PETS:
Vilado rescued a Kath hound pup from slaughter and the two instantly became best friends. Nicknamed Turbo the loyal mutt follows Vilado everywhere he goes and either would give their life to protect one another.

The hound is docile but possesses a spark of rebellion. He often does bad things or starts trouble and always ends up in over his head. He is a strong and healthy beast and if he ever grew the backbone he could tear through walls. Almost an opposite of his master, Turbo never considers things and often gets Vilado into trouble.
PERSONALITY:
Vilado absorbed most of his traits from his smuggler family. He is compassionate, honorable, thoughtful and responsible. He protects weaker people and likes to think of how his actions make others feel. He also goes on bouts of curiosity where he has to find an answer. Some would even say he has a disorder but Vilado sees only a want to know.





KILLS:

BOUNTIES COLLECTED:


DUELING RING MATCHES:


GRAND TOURNAMENT MATCHES:

ROLE-PLAYS:
 
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Skyway

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A other Miraluka join the ranks. I just post a Miraluka jedi the other day.
 

Master Maverick

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I'm going to scour this profile simply because you've asked me to be this character's master. Thus, I consider it required... ^^
Don't take anything personally. I'm most certainly not attacking you in anything I say, even though it's going to sound like it. Consider it me enthusiastic in learning more about your character, as that's simply what it is.

NOTE: I'm reading this all (for the most part) for the first time in order. I would suggest that you may want to put the bio first (as I do in my profiles) so I'm compelled to read about the character first. While largely aesthetic, I find that it sometimes helps in many questions that arise.
My questions, also, probably wouldn't be so redundant as they very well could end up being... and I wouldn't have to write so much, but at this point I've already done it and I'm too stubborn to undo what I've already written... >.>

DISTINGUISHING MARKS: None
No person has no distinguishing marks... the fact that he's a miraluka is one of these. The fact that he (should) wear a blindfold of some sort would be another. For some reason I think I remember them having some form of tattoos or something, but I could be wrong. He's incredibly buff, so that would be another as that's certainly not in any way average in the galaxy. Any scars or anything, or is his skin as perfect as a baby's (unlikely given that he's a Jedi... and I haven't gotten to his bio yet, so I don't know what happened in his past yet)?

STRENGTH: 9/10 Vilado is extremely strong and refines his strength with rigorous training.
DEXTERITY: 4/10 Vilado is nimble in combat but can otherwise be considered clumbsy.
CONSTITUTION: 8/10 Vilado has the endurance to match his strength and can take alot of damage.
INTELLIGENCE: 3/10 Vilado is not intelligent. He hates calculations and history and most mind challenging tasks.
WISDOM: 7/10 Although incredibly dull Vilado has the soul of one much more experienced. His hard ships and compassion have made him incredibly mature and thoughtful.
CHARISMA: 2/10 While often considered handsome he is very awkward and has trouble speaking to strangers.

I very much enjoy that you did the combo. While I prefer no numbers in the stats, I don't mind the combination of description with number. However, I would suggest giving a comparison of some sort with the descriptions; everyone's definition of how strong, fast, dextrous, smart, etc. a person is varies wildly, so it would be helpful to know your base.
Know that constitution is not only physical, but mental as well. How easily is he manipulated to change his mind on anything (big and small)? How quickly does he change his mind on any given subject? How easily is his mind changed about anything (philosophy, politics, the Jedi Way, etc.)?
In my personal opinion, there's a slight inconsistency with low intelligence and high wisdom. While I understand that you want him to be 'slow' in mathematics, having high wisdom does require a good amount of intellect. You can up his intelligence while specifying his regions of interest/specialty/deficiencies/etc. Also, I'm not sure if that is a typo or not, but I'm interested to know how his 'hard ships' (which I assume you mean to be hardships) and compassion have made him mature and thoughtful. Or you could just note me (readers) to see the bio for more info. :/
Charisma is not only how he interacts with others, but how others receive him and how well he influences others. I'd make a note of that in there somewhere.

(now I'm going to skip to his bio as per the note I just typed out above)
Just to preface, I know you're knew and that his is among your first profiles. I'm going to be incredibly harsh and blunt. Again, do not take it personally; I simply want to know more about the character because I'm obnoxious like that.
Vilado Lobri was born to unknown parents. Days after birth he was given to a group of immigrants who took him to Tatooine. There they raised him until the age of five when they were slaughtered by gangsters. Vilado was spared but left to forage on his own. He was found by a human smuggler who took him aboard her ship. She fed him and took care of him. She became his parent and the crew became his family. He quickly developed his flight and slicing skills to aide the rag tag smuggling crew.
To be perfectly honest, this is a quick and easy way to blow through his beginnings; which are pretty much the most important parts.
'unknown parents'. I'm pretty sure someone knew them, but I know you mean he doesn't know/remember them. However, you left out where he was born, or does he not remember? You should put that in, whichever one it may be.
What kind of immigrants? Why were they leaving? Why was he given to the immigrants? Why were they going to Tatooine? What kind of people were they? How did they raise him (specifics). Again, he may not remember some of them/might not have been told. If so, say that.
Why were they slaughtered? What kind of gangsters? Did he witness it? Where was he during the massacre? What did he think/feel during it? Why was he spared? How did he survive on his own? Did he learn skills with the immigrants or did he just wing it? How long did he live on his own?
Where/how and why was he found by the smuggler? Why'd she take him in? Why would she spend so much time, energy and credits on some child she didn't even know? Why did he agree to go with her (other than simply not living along anymore)? How did he react to learning she was a smuggler? What were his previous concepts of such people? How did he react to the others? Who were the others and how many were there? Did he create connections with them? How did he view each of them and how does he think they viewed him? How did they take to having him join their group, initially? Did he have to prove himself, and if so, how did he go about doing so?

At the age of ten the smuggling crew were preparing for the biggest opp of their careers.What they didn't know was that it was a trap by the Sith Empire to destroy the reputable smugglers. Unprepared, the crew was attacked and all of the crew were killed save for Vilado. The dying smuggler plotted a course to Nar Shadda before she succumbed to her wounds. After the daring escape and crash landing Vilado was forced into Child labor and became an unwilling member of the local hutt's gang. During this time his slicing and piloting skills were exploited and he became proficient in both. He was even given a broken down freighter to accompany the gang's space dealings.During this time he found a litter of Kath hounds being killed by the owners.They did not want the needy pups and before Vilado could intervene only one remained. He snatched the pup and brought it safely home. The two became inseparable and he named the hound Turbo.

Keep an eye on the lack of spaces between sentences. This could simply be the medium through which you posted this, but be sure to fix it if/when you make edits?

How was it the biggest opp of their careers? What others did they partake in? What was the whole thing about? Why would the Sith Empire bother to take interest in them? Why were they reputable? What were they reputable for? You could describe some of the systems he had been to previously and how well he knew the galaxy, just for depth. How was the group attacked, where and when? How did they fight back/how did they react? Why were all of them killed except him? Why did he escape (where was he/how did he defend/take care of himself)? Why would she send him to Nar Shaddaa (which I need to fix in my own profile)? What was there? What was she hoping to send him to, or who? What were her last words to him? How did he feel about her and the crew's deaths? Why was there a crash landing? How did he survive it?
Why was he forced into child labor? What kind of child labor? What kind of time passed and why was he chosen to join the gang? How were his skills revealed to the gang and in what ways did they exploit him for them? Why would he be trusted with a freighter rather than just join someone else in theirs? Why didn't he just leave as soon as he got the freighter for his own?
Why did he find a litter of kath hounds while working for a gang; what was that particular task all about? Explain the 'needy pups' a bit more; was that the reason they were getting rid of them? If so, explain in more detail? Why did they have the pups in the first place? What was their plain for them? How did he intervene and how did he manage to get the last one away? What did he have to do to do this? What did the owners do in response? How did the gang react to having a kath around, or did Vilado keep him hidden? How did the 2 become inseparable and how did he feel about the animal/pet? How did they receive each other; was the hound distant/untrusting at first? How did their relationship begin, exactly?

After years of seeing the horrid atrocities of gang life and years of taking beatings for other children he was ready to leave. He got as many children as he could out of the gangs hands then stole the ship that was assigned to him. Grabbing everything he owned and his faithful mutt Turbo he blasted out of the port and made the jump to republic space. Seeking shelter and a chance at a better life he locked onto Coruscant and blasted away....

What kind of atrocities; cite/explain some? Taking beatings for other children; why was he doing that? How did he get the children out and why would they follow him? What did he own at that time? (again) Why didn't he leave sooner? What kept him there? What was 'everything he owned'? It's Alliance, not Republic space (the republic doesn't exist). You used 'blasted' twice. Simply for aesthetic reasons, it's redudant.

Tracked by the Hutt gang Vilado fled to the only people he knew could help him. The Jedi. After finding his sensitivity he was admitted into the Jedi Order. Under the guidance of Jedi masters he learned to harness and control the Force within him. He finally felt at peace and his life was perfect. Advancing quickly, although with difficulty, Vilado mastered his basic Force powers. He now seeks to pass the initiate trials and grab the attention of a Jedi so he may be taken as an apprentice.

How did he know of the Jedi? How did he know they could help him? How was his sensitivity found and what happened to the other children? Was he ever, again, bothered by the gang? How did the Order deal with the affiliation?
First the Order would teach him the philosophies of the Jedi as well as the Jedi Way. This would happen long before ever touching actually using or controling the Force, especially given that he only recently learned he was sensitive. He would, then, learn to feel and control the Force in only the most basic of ways. Why did he feel his life was finally perfect? Advancing quickly but with difficulty is slightly counter-intuitive. Either way, describe that in more detail. How did he interact with the other younglings? How did he think and feel during the whole process?

Also, a slight hole in the story; where did he become so strong?
Finally (in terms of the bio) the fact that I could ask more questions and type more than you had for the entirety of your bio should be noted. Again, I realize this is only the beginning stage of the profile, I just ask that you keep it in mind in future characters you make.

In general; while writing your profile, ask yourself questions that others would ask while reading it. Even ridiculous people like me! ^^

GEAR:
Jedi Padawan robes

SHIP:Vilado owns a small freighter that was given to him as a smuggler escort. A Ghtroc 440 Light Freighter is centuries old and the barley running starship bears Vilado where he needs to go but he often has to take precautions that he would not have to if he had a better ship. Although cheap and old she is reliable and in honor of that fact she was named Reliable.
DROIDS:
No

PETS:
Vilado rescued a Kath hound pup from euthanasia and the two instantly became best friends. Nicknamed Turbo the loyal mutt follows Vilado everywhere he goes and either would give their life to protect one another.

What exactly are 'Jedi Padawan robes'? May we have a picture of them? Even so, jedi robes vary from person to person and are highly customizable. You can have a lot of fun with creating your character's look.

Can we have a picture of the freighter, especially given that you had named it? What kind of precautions does he have to take and what, in more detail, is wrong with the ship?

You don't have to have a section for droids if he doesn't have one. You can add that in when he does get some, but otherwise it just takes up space.

Euthanasia gives the impression that the litter was defective in some way. Describe that in the bio or otherwise describe how the Kath would be defective. If you didn't mean euthanasia, then say extermination or murder.

ERSONALITY:
Vilado Lobri is a compassionate and mature being.His rough upbringing and exposure to negative influences have miraculously had an adverse effect. When he was taken from he learned to give to others, when he was beaten he learned to stay his hand, while he was undefended he learned to defend others.His whole life has shaped him into a gentle giant and he possess incredible empathy. He imagines what others would feel and almost feels it himself.

You never described in his bio why or how any of this happened in any detail. This description you have, while minimal, would be adequate in explaining his stats and, regardless, belongs in the bio. If you could explain the negative influences having an adverse effect in more detail that'd be appreciate it because, in reality, they should have shaped him into what he was surrounded by. What made him so different and, thus, develop in contrast to his environment? Just curious.



Again, this isn't supposed to be attacking, biting, or derogatory in any way. It's simply me being direct because, quite obviously, I had a lot to say/ask and didn't feel like typing more than I had to.
 

Vilado

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Holy smokes. That was an epic review! I did not take one word of it as negative. It was completely mind blowing how fleshed out he could be. Every being he touches has a backstory. I will get to work on your notes right away! Im honored to have such an intrest taken in my character!
 

Apollyon

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Mav reviewed my Jedi, Exal...now she is among my favorites to rp with :) BTW Mav YOU NEED TO POST IN OUR THREAD! But the character looks good mate :)
 

Master Maverick

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One other thing; 5'6" and 150, while accurate (I'm fairly certain), wouldn't make him 'huge'. Certainly he'd be muscular, but he'd be like a gymnast or something. They're bulky and whatnot, but not all that 'big'.
 

Vilado

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Changed alot! Bio revamped as well as stats and personality! Thanks Mav!
 
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