Unwelcome Surprises

[Raz Solus]

She was pacing back and forth, trying to control her breathing. She felt sick and as if she were going to throw up. Raz had faced off countless enemies in battle, had been in danger many times, had toppled entire planets. Yet nothing terrified her as much as this. She was in the home she shared with Leandros, and he was still out. Her nature was to simply make decisions for herself and not give it a second thought.

She couldn’t do that this time.

After she burned down the village, she made a promise to herself to always be honest with him. He had accepted her for all her flaws, and had loved her fiercely through everything. She would never keep anything from him. This was something she wanted to quietly resolve without ever letting him know, but the promises she made to him clashed with that.

This had completely blindsided her, and she had felt entirely weak. How could she do this while being Mand’alor? How could she be a beacon for her people when she wouldn’t be able to fight? Raz began to pace back and forth, highly alarmed and stressed. She knew Leandros would be home soon. She had walked out of the door several times to ‘take care of the problem’ at once, but she kept walking back inside.

He would never forgive her if she acted alone in this. She would have to simply wait for him to return. Every second felt like an agonizing century.

@Painus

 

[Leandros Solus]

Today was a pretty good day. The sun was shining, birds were singing, and he had managed to avoid the majority of traffic on his errand run. Despite being one of the leaders for his people, he still had to do menial tasks for the house even after another successful campaign. Buy groceries, retrieve weapons, repair dented armor, the usual stuff for a Mandalorian living with someone else. He left Raz at home, content to do these minor tasks on his own in order to give her some much-deserved rest. They both worked tirelessly and often forgot to take care of themselves, so focused were they on their burgeoning empire. With major victories in the Core secured, there were no significant battles to be fought, and so Leandros managed to convince Raz that they had earned some respite.

Leandros returned home sometime after he had left and walked in the door with a smile on his face. ”Look,” he said, holding up a brown paper bag, ”I got us lunch. No need to cook today.” He set the bag on a counter and walked over towards Raz, only just now noticing the extremely-distraught look on her face. Almost immediately his smile vanished, and he walked even closer, his concern rapidly becoming visible.

”What is it?” he asked in a worried tone, wondering what it was that could be troubling her so. Did another one of their friends die? Dio and Narir had been missing for some time, and Leandros wondered if Raz finally found out what happened to them. The look on her face and the way she was pacing, though, suggested something far more worrisome. He reached out to lightly grab at her shoulder and stop her frantic movements. ”Is everything alright?”

 

[Raz Solus]

Raz heard him come in, and she had to mentally prepare on how she was going to do this. Her instant reaction upon seeing him was to simply act as if everything were fine. She forced a smile and looked at the bag in his hand, “Thanks, I… don’t think I’d be up for cooking tonight,” Raz muttered quietly. As she had expected, he noticed her unease immediately. He wasn’t the type to beat around the bush and his look of concern mirrored her own. She said nothing at first, pacing around back and forth like he had seen her do so many times.

“Well uh…I’m not sure how it happened,” She began, “Well I mean, yes I know how it happened. But I’m not sure why…but I’ve been so busy and grew careless…” She was rambling to herself at this point, walking back and forth. Raz was clearly more distressed than she had been before when planning for war engagements. She had no clue on how to even broach the topic, and she ran her fingers through her hair, avoiding looking at Leandros.

“And… people will think I’m an unfit leader…” She muttered to herself, “If I go through with it. And there’s so much to do still and I’d just do such a terrible job because I barely know what I’m doing as is,” She just kept rambling and rambling, none of her sentences making any real sense. After a moment, she realized she was just going in circles and not really helping the situation. Raz couldn’t brush this under the rug anymore. He was here, and she needed to confront this head on.

She finally came to a stop and faced him, looking up to meet his gaze. Raz chewed on her lip nervously, sighing softly, “I’m….pregnant…” She said barely above a whisper, “I’m not supposed to be….I’ve never intended for this. There’s no way I can take this on so I was just going to uh…” Raz looked down, not even knowing how he would be reacting to her line of thought.

 

[Leandros Solus]

Leandros watched Raz with immense concern, never having seen her this distraught before in his life. She truly looked like she was freaking out and doing some serious mental gymnastics, figuring out whatever the kriff that had her so worried. He resisted moving in and cutting her off to comfort her to instead listen to her ramblings. ”Busy? Careless? What’re you talk-“ he barely got out before she carried on, deliberately avoiding even looking in his direction. Whatever it was that had her this messed up had to have been serious, and Leandros quickly ran through his mind to see what it was that he messed up on.

Was it the way he handled moving in with her? Did she not want him to live here? Was it the ghost of the burned village back to plague her conscience? Dan’s death? He thought of every possible reason that would have her this worried, but none of them seemed plausible. His mind even briefly considered that she didn’t love him anymore, but he quickly shook that thought away.

Instead, he listened to her ramblings, wondering what it was that the people would consider her unfit for. ”Go through with what?” he said, trying to get a word in edgewise and interrupt her thoughts. ”Nobody thinks you’re a terrible leader,” he reassured her, his tone calming and smooth. Finally, after whatever decision she had finally made in her head was complete, Raz stopped and faced him, her face a confluence of fear and concern.

…

Leandros took a moment to process what she had said in the following seconds, completely ignoring the rest of her sentence until the end. She was pregnant? With his child? For a moment, he was completely silent, his face expressionless. ”I’m gonna be a dad?” he finally muttered, speaking to himself. He reached down and lifted her chin up, a smile creeping on his face. ”This- this is incredible! How long- I- I don’t-“ he couldn’t find the words to express how he felt, so he simply leaned in and embraced her for a second, pulling away but keeping his arms around her shoulders. ”Raz, this is… a lot. But we- you’re not going to be unfit! The people, they… they’ll understand. There aren’t any battles to fight, not for you.”

For a bit, he simply smiled at her. Then his smile dampened somewhat as he realized what she had said earlier. ”Wha- what do you mean you were gonna… What were you going to do?” His tone was worried now.

 

[Raz Solus]

Raz said nothing as he reacted, not even a little bit surprised to find him initially ecstatic. He was more old fashioned than her, and he loved the idea of settling down. Those ideas terrified her, mainly from her own broken upbringing. Leandros had a significantly worse childhood, and yet he still managed to stay positive and look forward to a family of his own.

As he embraced her, she leaned into him, burying her face into his neck. Her worries began to subside almost at once, and she was reminded that he was here. Whatever she was going through, she wasn’t going to face it alone. Raz closed her eyes, savoring the feeling of his arms around her. She simply wanted to stay here and have him remind her repeatedly everything would be okay.

After he stepped back, she recalled his words. Dad? It felt surreal to hear those words. She would be a mom? Raz’s mind had been entirely elsewhere. She hadn’t even entertained the notion of becoming a parent. She had been thinking of ways to tell him that she wanted to get rid of this. However, she could see his reaction to it, and it made her feel guilty for going down that dark path. She looked at him as his smile faded, and she chewed nervously on her lip.

“I….I was thinking I couldn’t handle it. I was going to…” Raz faded off, not able to bring herself to say it, “It doesn’t matter. I was never going to take that step without your input anyway,” Raz stared at him for a long moment, “Leandros, I know nothing about children or raising a family. I know nothing about being a mother. I’m the first Mand’alor in centuries and there’s no manual or how-to on juggling the role while bringing a child into the galaxy,” Raz stepped forth again, falling back into his arms. She was legitimately scared and didn’t want him to let her go.

“There are always battles to fight, Leandros,” She said quietly, “This is such a terrifying galaxy to bring a baby into. Look how we were raised. Look at all the losses we had to fight through. Do we want to bring a child into this? We live dangerous lives, and that won’t change even with a baby. You know this.”

 

[Leandros Solus]

Leandros was still reeling from the news, a maelstrom of emotions flooding through his mind. At first, he was shocked and thought this to be some kind of cruel prank. Then he was elated, filled with such joy at the prospect of being a parent and bringing a new life into this world with the woman he loved. Finally, his joy turned sour and quickly became worry, for he knew the dangers of the life they lived and how that might affect their child. Raz buried herself in his arms and he relished the warmth, taking the time to lean into her and simply smile.

Leandros listened to her intently when he had pulled away and asked her what it was she planned on doing, his smile growing ever dim as that profound sense of worry overtook his mind once more. As she spoke, he stared into her eyes, focusing on the same twinkle in them that he had fallen in love with so long ago. He still had difficulty processing the fact that she would be the mother of their child; Raz, the fearless – if fretful – leader of their people, known for bringing the Sith to their knees and other countless heroics, a mother? The notion would almost be laughable if it weren’t so very real now.

She fell back into his arms, clutching tight and pressing firmly against his body in genuine fear. He reciprocated and wrapped his arms tight around her, squeezing tight and holding her up. Gently, very gently, he whispered to her, ”It’ll be alright, I promise,” over and over reassuringly even as she spoke to him. ”We’ll… we’ll figure it out,” he finally said to her, swaying her gently in his arms, ”Our parents did it, and the parents of every other Mandalorian did it. We can do it, too. We always have managed the impossible. You always have.” He had no idea how to be a father. Hell, he barely remembered his father, so he sure as hell wouldn’t know what a father was supposed to do. He just knew that together, the two of them would raise their child to be an outstanding Mandalorian.

”There will always be battles to fight,” he conceded, rubbing her back as he moved. By now, a few small tears had begun to form in his eyes and began their long descent down, though he was still smiling. ”Our child won’t go through what we went through,” he stated firmly, ”We’d never let it happen. They’ll grow up proud, and strong, and smart, and- and beautiful. We just… we just need to try. Try to be good parents.” He kissed the top of her head and let his head linger against hers for a moment. ”This is a whole different type of battle, but I can’t remember a time either of us ran from a challenge.”