Unknown - Julia

[Risako]

NAME
Julia "The Unknown"

SPECIES
Sephi

AGE
???

AGE APPEARANCE
Mid Twenties

GENDER
Female

HEIGHT
6'1

WEIGHT
One Hundred Eighty Pounds

HAIR COLOR
Black

EYE COLOR
Green

SKIN COLOR
Pale

CONDITIONAL MARKS/SCARS
Slightly Pointed Ears
Unique Skin Tone
Variously Designed Tribal Scars/Tattoos

CREDIT/MONETARY ITEMS
1000 Credits

FACTION RANKS

Unknown - Ghost


KNOWN SKILLS/TRAITS/ABILITIES

This next list is rated according to a star system of 1-5.
One being the lowest, and five being the highest.
Some may have a sixth star, and those are known as special traits.

PHYSICAL/MENTAL TRAITS

STRENGTH: ***
DEXTERITY: ****
CONSTITUTION: ***
INTELLIGENCE: *****
WISDOM: ****
CHARISMA: ***

ABILITIES

ALCHAKA: **
FORCE SENSE: **
FORCE TELEKINESIS: **
FORCE STEALTH: *

LIGHT SABER/WEAPON FORMS

Tràkata [Art of Activating, and Deactivating.]
***

Knuckle Dusting [Art of Contact/Hitting Opponents with the Hilt.]
***

ITEMS/SHIPS

WORN CLOTHING/WEAPONS

CLOTH ROBE -
A basic robe made out of a cloth material, usually a mixture of basic low quality materials.

BATTLE GARMENT-
Is a basic suit of overlapping material used as a slight armor based alignment, it's mainly small stutterers of materials in the cloth of her robe.

CLOTH LOWER/UPPER WEAR-
Is just a basic pair of cloth/fur like pants that show a more wilder version of her. It's extremely durable, and able to take nearly anything.

LIGHTSABER [NON-COLORED]-
A basic version of the saber purchased/created in her travels. It has no specialized colored crystal so it lacks a color to the blade, but is still as deadly as the real thing. It features a unique feature on the handle, allowing near instant closing of the blade, and reopening.

WEAPONIZED GLOVES -
This are what you'd call brass knuckles, but are a more long sleeve featured type that link to the elbow. The main point of the glove is stuffed with a special type of metal around the hand region to allow small enclosures with a light saber if needed to help in defensive measures. Though it doesn't last long.

WEAPONIZED BOOTS-
This is same as the above item.


SHIP

NAME
Luria

Model Type
Mandalorian Shuttle

DETAILS
Luria is a very basic class of ship used mainly, and usually for the transportation of the driver. However the ship carries many unique features to it, such as a auto pilot, and a crew of two droids to work with most of the controls as she makes herself at home. The usual area where passengers are held has been completely replaced with a small artificial nature area that allows her to feel at home. Even though it is a bit smaller then she is use to. She enjoys it perfectly.

The outside of the ship has been painted with a unique shade of green, and red. Which is featured on her home world very much due to the unique nature types that are found, and mud. The engines are a slightly altered ion classed sublight drive, which allow for easy movement in the out-brinks of the rim. The craft also features a single room armed down with variously organized designed decorations, and a large bed.




Is...that what it is? A vision....
A vision is what you wish to see not what is really there..

It's all a simply act of what you wish to happen.

They have given me the name of the Shadow of What has Happened. I am known for my acts of kindness, and my days of rest. I am known for all that is happening, but what can happen the moment you beckon my name.

All I remember is the darkness from my world, the harsh woods, and the cold nights alone. Nothing around me but the call of the nexus, and it's target as it begged for mercy in many different tongues. I had to keep moving, to make sure I survived. It was a harsh life, and everything had it's place for me.


My past is nothing to dread about, nor is it easy to remember anymore due to my age. I might not look it but, I'm much older then most of these people that claim to be wise... I am from Cholganna a world in the deepest rim of the system, I was raised to hunt, and provide for myself at a young age even if the cost was a limb. It was worth it for the bounty, I would gather.

The wild call of the nexus echoing in my mind as I made my way through the dense winter forest, it's temperature dwindling even when it was it's peak of warmth. The large fur like clothing I was granted, dragging on the ground as I enjoyed my youth fondly. I wasn't always a brute in nature, or a up sounding person. I use to be a warm, and caring person till it happened but let's get to that later.

I was there on my home world for many years, the weather never truly changed other then the warmth that vanished every few days. The wildlife stayed the same, and the food was always there if you really wanted it. Though not many of my family really stayed, they came, and gather every now, and then but I choose this as my world. I wanted to live here for as long as I could, and keep to myself.

Then it happened...they happened....
They came in from the east, and west. They attempted to burn everything I held close to the ground, for what they kept yelling as resources. They rushed in, and took the woods from me. The animals! They killed them all for food, and shelter.
The...anger that I felt that day would not go unanswered, I charged their camp at night, I came in from the shadows that the forest had been happy enough to provide to me.

It happened so fast, the flashes of light, and the screams that came with the night were so painful for me to understand. I had hurt so many of them but, they kept coming at me. Treating me as if I were a mere beast of the wild. They forced me into a corner, and attempted to come closer. Only to hear a growl, and a quick flicker of my weapon with the moon behind it. They kept yelling at me, calling me so many weird names, and it only fueled my rage as I pushed out. Bringing my weapon up, I managed to hit a incoming foe, the only sight I held was the blood that splattered from his wound, and the sounds he made as he fell back to the crowd.

But! all they did was chuckle as he hit the ground with a thud sound, spitting up blood. They all turned back to me, as I had moved myself back to my corner...my safe zone. The only noticeable part of a body were my eye's peering through the hood of my outfit, and the slightly shown skin of my feet as the shadows reseeded slightly every time I made a move. Yet....they kept coming...?

The daylight drew near as I had finished the crowd, they all came at me, and ....acted as if I wouldn't hurt them.
They didn't even use guns, or fancy ranged weapons against me. They believed they could simply come in, and beat me down for some reason. Did they want me as a worker? Sell me as a slave or what. I didn't know what had really happened. All I really remembered was the sound of the blade hitting bodies, and the impact of the ground before I moved back.

That's all...I can really remember enough to talk about, I might learn more, and then I'll write into my journal.
[YOUTUBE]Zi8vJ_lMxQI&[/YOUTUBE]
[YOUTUBE]znHKgruybkw[/YOUTUBE]
​

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Role Plays
http://www.thestarwarsrp.com/forum/showthread.php?p=672162&posted=1#post672162
Where are the Jedi? - Current

 

[Ender]

NICE PROFILE! For a newcomer, this is epic. Welcome to The star Wars RP. My name's Burc, and I am the Republic military.

 

[Risako]

Huh? Sorry, not even done yet. I got a bit more to do. Besides, this is just the most basic draft. I'll have a lot more to add when I RP.

 

[Ender]

D: OMG...They're going to like you here...Rather, the uppity ups are...

 

[Risako]

Right now, I'm adding the details of the character. Talents/Physical Details, and such.

 

[HK-2E]

It's raw and needs refinement, but I like it overall.

 

[Risako]

Hope that's good.~

 

[Ender]

Fantastic,'cept you have to be trained to use force powers. :P Sucks,I know.But it's fun.

 

[Denzein]

When Burc says "uppity ups" he means me. No, I'm not being uppity, he does. He totally only means me. Completely.

I'm going to start and end with exactly the same sentence because I can. This profile is better than any "first profile" I've seen for a goodly while. By than I mean I can't remember seeing a better one, but then my memory is damnably bad (just ask the people I RP with lol).

There are a few things I feel obliged to point out that will help you improve the profile, should you decide to act on them. First is probably a simple matter of taste, but I feel as if there's a few too many ellipses in there. It's something a lot of people do so don't worry about it, but if you removed some it might improve the flow. I also noticed a few grammar and/or syntax errors lurking in the prose, and again they're almost mandatory for a first profile. The only other thing is that some of the words you've used don't seem to fit right to me, but again that's personal preference (or perhaps ignorance, I don't know what every word in the dictionary means lol).

Finally there's the matter of admin boxticking, and you've fallen foul of having trained force powers from the off. The maximum you can start with is basic telekinesis and sensory powers at a low level, you have to go through training to get the higher powers. As she's an indie this won't be too excruciating unless you decide to go through training with a main faction (which is the easiest way to ensure you get a teacher, but there a guidelines you have to follow). The alternative is to find a good indie to train her, and while its trickier to find an indie master I prefer them as you don't have to jump through all the hoops to get the prizes.

So to surmise: This profile is better than any "first profile" I've seen for a goodly while.

P.S: you could also put all the info into the first post by way of the edit button, which would just tidy up the thread in general.

Den out.

 

[HK-2E]

Ah that really adds some clarity for the next part. I'll give this profile a four out of five.

 

[Risako]

I fixed it up, giving her the more basics. ALCHAKA is just a meditative state, so hope you don't mine. I gave her level 2 in sense/telekinesis. So I hope you don't mind that, and the 1 level in Stealth.

 

[Risako]

Added a theme song :3