Ask Toxic Draw

[Renfry]

Renfry continued to lazily lean back in her seat as they spoke. For the gravity of the matter they were talking about, she appeared surprisingly relaxed, but despite her relative nonchalance she watched him closely. She could see the subtle tension in his jaw, the way his ear twitched, the way he showed subtle cues of being interested.

Depends on the ritual, she said with a shrug.

Something simple and combat focused - lightning, concussive bolts, and whatnot - isn't unlike any other access of the Force, she said. It was simple and often required nothing but focus and willpower.

Rituals tend to be more for the arcane. Divination, intense mental manipulation, physical alterations, and things like that, she said. There were many, many rituals of all different sorts. It had taken Renfry years of study to learn to be fluent in them.

That's where things like runes tend to be more important. The more difficult the ritual, the more complex the combination of glyphs and runes required. And they must be precise, she said.

She paused to think as he asked if there was a cost. She wasn't entirely sure what he referenced. There were costs, but she had a feeling he had something specific in mind.

Her eyes flashed down for a moment to the game he played on his comlink and she could sense that he was growing more and more frustrated. She bit her lip to try to keep herself from smiling.

It depends, she said. It felt like an unhelpful answer, but a true one.

Many times the rituals have a low cost while other times it's much higher, not unlike the risks of divination, she said, bristling for a moment as she thought back to just how close she had come to being permanently claimed by one of the rituals.

Is there some particular cost you're wondering about? she asked.

 

[Emryc Thorne]

They were in hyperspace now, well on their way to their destination. He lost yet another round and had to resist the urge to cast the comlink through the front of the ship. He simply exhaled softly and switched instead to a game that involved setting up tower defenses and resource buildings to help a civilization progress through stages.

He listened to every word, realizing that her magick didn’t work too differently than the Force. The curious differences came from the rituals that usually yielded a more powerful outcome. They were meticulous and practiced efforts that likely resulted in devastating impacts. He knew that if he learned more, he could make the art his own. The Force was studied extensively, but her way of doing it still had undiscovered potential.

As she asked about the cost he worried about, he had to ponder on that. He mulled over it as he watched two of his spearmen get slaughtered by some archers. He thought of Palpatine and other Sith that had a corruption. He thought of how their faces decayed away from extensive use of the Force, how their eyes became haunting. They looked exactly on the outside how they were inside. They had lost themselves to where they no longer had control. They were at the mercy of the Force. Perhaps that was how the Force treated those that bent it to their will - it led the user to a false sense of security while slowly killing and twisting them till the very end.

His mind went into a spiral, but he instead looked up at her. There was a disarming grin that spread across his face as he tilted it, “I want you to keep looking at me the way you do.”

 

[Renfry]

She continued to try to suppress the girlish grin pulling at her lips as she watched - or rather felt - his rage grow in response to the game he was playing. She could only assume this meant things were not going well.

And then it changed. There was some sort of native people being killed by another group of native people. He seemed to be faring better at this one than the last but as she asked her question, she could practically sense his mind swirling into a spiral, though where it went she wasn't sure.

He seemed to quickly snap out of it, looking at her and smiling in a way that seemed to cover over the concern he was feeling.

Her eyes went wide and her eyebrows went up at what he said. She felt like it was an attempt to simply deflect but she didn't press it. She enjoyed the moment because she could.

What look? she asked coyly, smiling.

Oh, you mean the one where I look like I want you to jump me all the time? she said, faking her realization.

Well, I'd hate to disappoint, she said, wriggling both her eyebrows teasingly.

Speaking of which, what are the sleeping arrangements like? Do I get to share a bed with you? she asked. She half expected to be told she was sleeping on the floor in the cargo hold, but she could always push her luck.

 

[Emryc Thorne]

Emryc observed her reaction to his words and the subtle, coy grin. He was picking up on many details from her, his silver eyes drinking her in all the time. He lowered the comlink, the grin remaining as she asked about the sleeping arrangement. He paused for a moment before rising to his feet. He began to walk then, motioning for her to follow.

“I make a poor sleeping partner,” He admitted. He seldom slept, having been trained to sleep specific hours and slowly transition to more meditating. He wasn’t in the habit of ever sharing his bed, and he didn’t particularly enjoy leaving himself vulnerable around others. Emryc walked down the hall and punched a terminal to open a door that revealed a cabin. It was perfectly organized and clean, lined with expensive toiletries should she want them.

“You can have this,” He mentioned, “Some of my spare books are in there if you get bored,” Emryc turned to look down the hall, “Refresher is at the end there with a shower.”

He kept walking until he opened another door that revealed a small kitchenette, “Organic meals and off world wines and spirits,” He muttered. She would pick up that everything was from a different planet, revealing that he constantly hopped from planet to planet.

He jutted his chin towards another door across the hall, “That’s where I’ll be,” He didn’t bother showing her to it. He turned to look at her again.

“Is there anything else you need?”

 

[Renfry]

She got up and followed when he beckoned, taking a closer look at the ship as she walked through it.

Oh, she said, the most subtle hint of disappointment in her tone as he informed her that he was a bad sleeping partner. It was quickly overshadowed by what he showed her.

Her eyes were genuinely wide as he showed her to the room she would be staying in. It was... immaculate and beautiful. It looked comfortable and nice. It looked... shockingly homey. She tried to hide the surprise on her face and did a very poor job.

As the tour continued to where she could find food and the nice things that he owned, she was genuinely speechless. And he was just... offering it to her? He continued to make her mind twist somersaults as she tried to figure him out.

I... what was she supposed to say? She began to fidget uncomfortably. She suddenly felt like she was intruding on his space, taking things that didn't belong to her.

Am I... can I... oh this was embarrassing.

Thanks, she finally said, her face now the same color red as the shirt she was wearing.

Is there anything I... shouldn't do? Boundaries I shouldn't cross? she asked, wanting to be a good guest and entirely unfamiliar with the expectations that entailed.

 

[Emryc Thorne]

He could see the genuine surprise from her. All that fire and flair was subdued and left to simmer. He observed her quietly, filing all of this away into his mind. He watched the way she was humbled, the way her eyes got wide, the way her emotions were momentarily in flux. He observed it all, drank it in and catalogued it.

Her face was tinged red, and he pondered on her question. He didn’t want her to touch his bag of figurines and his whip, but that entailed telling her about it. He ran down a list of things, but nothing sprang up, and he had a feeling she wouldn’t stick to it either way.

“Don’t assume you understand my principles,” Was all he said after a while. He had many different facets to him and others around him often believed they knew him from knowing a bit of Sith history. Emryc looked back at all the food and drinks, gesturing to her to help herself if she pleased.

He walked off towards his own room, opening the door and leaving it open. He was in his place of worship, the smell of incense still lingering. He took off his shirt and knelt down, baring the marks of his sins. He closed his eyes and drifted into a different plane, rifling through all the knowledge he had gained today and what he needed to change in himself to obtain it.

 

[Renfry]

That was not the answer she was anticipating, and she didn't say anything. She really wanted to ask more questions. She had so many questions. Constantly. It had to be annoying. But she held her tongue. The statement was, in and of itself, quite... informative. It was something about him that she wasn't expecting.

He walked off a moment later and she started poking around the kitchenette, finding some potato chips and happily starting to munch away. This was... surprisingly nice. She started poking through her room. The bed was cushy and soft, the soaps smelled nice, and... well, everything was nice.

Munch, crunch, munch.

She came back around and caught the whiff of something else. It wasn't his cologne that she had gotten used to. It was a different scent. He hadn't closed the door and she stood there, leaning against the doorway as she watched him. She stopped the munching, not wanting to interrupt.

Her eyes shamelessly drank in everything. They ran over the marks that covered his back. The entire back was covered in scars from what had to be years of beating himself. It made her sad and she didn't know why. She wanted to walk in, touch them, trace them all with her fingers. Lay her lips along them. But she didn't. She respected his... well, not his privacy since she was standing here gawking at him, but his right to being uninterrupted.

She wasn't actually sure how long she stood there watching him but finally she left him alone until he was finished with his meditation.

She settled into a seat with one of the books from her room, waiting for him to emerge or do something else. Then he would probably be barraged with questions, but until then, it was "Treatise on Cosmic Energies" for her.

 

[Emryc Thorne]

Renfry was free to do whatever she pleased aboard the ship. There were shelves of books along the walls on the ship. She simply needed to slide the glass open and pick one out. There were surprising amounts of comics and novels, but there were many books about history. If she flipped through the pages, she would see his notes and thoughts written in. It was clear that he had a very intimate relationship with knowledge and his books. It gave clues to the nature of why he was precocious for his age.

There was nothing but silence from his room as he finished up meditating. He had patched up his hand, bandages covering up his knuckles from his assault on the wall. He walked out of his room and headed down to an open cargo bay area that he frequently used for exercise when it wasn’t packed with illegal spices.

Emryc switched the lights on and stood in the middle. He had his saber with him, honing his focus as he thought about the training he had learned. Within moments, he ignited his saber and began to swing it and in various practiced forms. The moves were methodical, a kata he had learned since he was a child. His footwork had been perfected, though some steps had an edge that would be buffed out over the years.

He spun and pivoted with the grace of a dancer, the saber twirling easily in his hand as he moved. After a while, his eyes closed and the saber released from his grip. He continued doing the kata and mimicking the same gestures, the saber moving on its own according through the air.

Emryc began to expand upon it, his hands doing something entirely different. He moved to jab and punch. The saber clattered to the floor. He opened his eyes, sighed and called the saber back to his hand.

And then he began the entire process all over again.

 

[Renfry]

Renfry had had every intention of bugging him with questions when he emerged, but she had found herself quite enthralled in the book that most would have found incredibly boring. In fact, she almost didn't notice his passing as she continued to read. She could see some of the things that he had written as well, noting some of his peculiar thoughts about the Force as well. Very different than what she was used to but informative nonetheless.

Before she knew it, she was over 100 pages in and realized she should probably take a break. It had been a great deal to take in, but her desire for knowledge was insatiable. She set the book down on a nearby table and began wandering around the ship. It wasn't like it was that large and the pacing quickly turned repetitive. She tapped her foot impatiently and then let her attention fall to the sound of a lightsaber.

She made her way down and stopped once again in the doorway. She could see the damage to his hand was now bandaged, but it couldn't have been making his saber practice any simpler.

He had an odd relationship with pain and injury and she didn't even begin to understand it. It seemed critical and inseparable from his religion, but the precise role it played was unknown to her.

He would be able to sense that she felt hesitation as she waited at the door, uncertain.

I don't know... um... if you'd prefer or not, but I could repair your hand for you, she offered. For all of her initial difficulty and stubbornness toward him, there seemed to be a genuine desire to actually aid and assist, though she was also concerned that the statement in and of itself would somehow be an insult.

 

[Emryc Thorne]

He sensed her before she ever spoke, but his focus had been on the kata. The saber was effortlessly zooming through the air and moving as if held. He slowed down and turned to look at her as the saber hovered in the air with him. His hair was matted to his skin, sweat lining his body. He hadn’t even noticed that he began to bleed through the bandages on his knuckles, glancing down at his poor bandage job.

Emryc watched Renfry for a few moments before he walked over, saber casually bobbing along through the air. He found her fumbling over her words curious. This was the same woman that pinned him against walls, that punched him in the face, that knelt before him to tease him in the middle of a library. Here she was, acting as if he caught her doing something she shouldn’t. The demeanor was strange, and he silently profiled and studied it.

His face was mostly blank as he slowly held his hand out. He didn’t know what she intended, but his focus was still on the kata. He closed his eyes, letting her do what she pleased. The saber behind him began to perform the strikes and moves. His face was focused, eyebrows slightly furrowed.

 

[Renfry]

She could practically hear what he was thinking about her, and he was right! What was wrong with her?! How had she suddenly become so flustered and out of place here? Was it simply because he had been relatively nice since she came aboard? Shattering her expectations? Her incorrigibility was always a direct result of something she hated being done. She should do something difficult just on principe! Yes... right...

She shoved the thought aside as he presented his hand to her. She held up a single finger and disappeared to the kitchenette, reappearing a moment later with a large bowl filled with water. She placed it on the ground and motioned for him to crouch or sit.

Put your hand in it, she said, assuming he would comply.

Hem tel abar, en fazar, she said, as wisps of green emerged from her fingers, piercing into the water and turning it the same green glowing color he would be quite familiar with by this point.

His hand wouldn't be able to be seen through the liquid, but he would feel a numbing sensation prickle over his entire hand. She reached out and grabbed his wrist, holding it there as she mentally counted off the time.

Done, she said. When he pulled his hand back out, he would find the flesh had been knit back together like new.

And she grabbed her water bowl and left.

 

[Emryc Thorne]

Emryc marveled at his knuckles for a long time since she had left. This was exactly the kind of loophole he had been asking about. She didn’t have to drain from another life source to heal him, and it had the same result in the end. He didn’t look up as she walked away, instead flexing and stretching his fingers and eyeing them from all angles. He put that little nugget of knowledge away in his mind.

Silence hung on the ship while he finished up his training and helped himself to a shower. Emryc came out after a while, smelling like his expensive products as usual. He tossed on a simple loose-fitting shirt and some sweatpants, along with his glasses. He stopped over to grab some vegetable snacks before making his way over to the main lounge type area of the ship.

He didn’t treat the experience any different than he would if she weren’t on his ship. He plopped down on a seat, flipping on a small Holo and popping on an action flick. He put his feet up on the table and watched the movie, nibbling on baby carrots as he did so.

 

[Renfry]

She disappeared back to the kitchenette and sucked the ichor free from the now-bloody water and poured it back down the sink before washing it out and heading back to her room. She closed the door and headed for the fresher, splashing water on her face and looking into the mirror.

She looked at her own face, the tattoos of the fanged spirit and the yellow eyes set into her own pallid face. She'd seen that reflection thousands of times and yet now she felt like she barely knew the person in the mirror.

What is wrong with you? she asked herself with a disapproving frown.

Why are you helping him so much? Why is he being so nice to you? she asked.

Was this like preparing the fatted calf so he could slaughter her for something? Was it some sort of conditioning like a pet? She'd done what he wanted so now he treated her well to reinforce that? Somehow that didn't seem right, but... maybe.

You're overthinking this, right? Get a hold of yourself. Don't worry about him, worry about you, she told herself, nodding along and failing to actually follow her own advice.

And why did she let him push her around? After all he'd done to her she still followed him, helped him, and did what he said. Perhaps Asminys had been right. Perhaps she really was simply prey. She'd told herself it was all an act, but where did the act end and reality begin? She was getting what she wanted. She was gaining knowledge, putting herself adjacent to rising power, and getting some other benefits on the side. That was all it was.

Why the stang were you thinking about kissing his back? her eyes snapped back up to her reflection with a hint of rage in her eyes.

UGH! she shouted, pushing herself away from the counter and throwing her hands violently into the air.

You are not going to fall for someone that has almost killed you... she paused, tallying it up ...three times! She couldn't even believe the thought was crossing her mind.

He doesn't like you. He doesn't care about you. You're a tool, she said, pointedly jabbing her finger into the mirror and leaving a smudge.

Stop it, she demanded of herself and turned to leave.

She made her way back out into the common area to see him reclining with his carrots, clearly relaxed, with his glasses on and just... being normal. Insufferable. His mere existence was infuriating.

She plopped down grumpily onto the couch next to him, watching the movie and knowing she was being ridiculous. It didn't matter. She knew he wouldn't care anyway.

So she grabbed one of his carrots and started munching too. Not exactly the best grumpy food, but it was accessible.

 

[Emryc Thorne]

Emryc was entirely oblivious to the war raging on in Renfry’s mind. He was just sitting there watching his movie and eating his snacks. The movie in particular was about a warrior that fought in a Nar Shaddaa battle arena and won the love of the people. It was by far one of his favorite movies, and he was watching it as if he had never seen it before.

He was vaguely aware of Renfry angrily plopping down next to him. She even grabbed one of his snacks, though he didn’t exactly protest. His eyes were trained ahead as he watched the scenes of the Emperor’s rather creepy son and his behavior towards his sister.

Emryc wasn’t the type to ask anyone about their feelings and he especially steered clear of women that were silently stewing. Renfry could be fuming and silently raging next to him, and he was blissfully detached. He kept munching on his organic snacks and watching the movie, letting Renfry silently implode.

 

[Renfry]

The movie finished and Renfry had begrudgingly enjoyed it, grumpily stewing until she became distracted by the plot and drama. When it was all said and done, she had no answers, a new favorite holovid, and way too many calories by way of the chips she had snagged.

Although there was no day and night cycle on a ship, it was deep into the "night" by chrono standards, when Renfry's sleeplessness got the better of her. She rolled out of bed and her bare feet hit the cold, steel floor. She couldn't get answers to her questions, so she decided not to bother. No more questions, no more answers.

She refused to have any illusions about the value Emryc placed on her. He didn't love her or anything so stupid. He never would. She didn't care.

She slipped out of her room and into his. In bare feet she was deathly silent and she could see him in the bed as she entered. She bit her lip as she crept over. She had asked about boundaries and he had been vague, so here they were.

Her robe slipped off, silently dropping to the floor as she slid slowly, carefully, and gently into the bed next to him. She was insufferable. She was awful. She was impulsive. And she had no shame.

 

[Emryc Thorne]

Emryc had finished the movie mercifully without incident. They parted ways and he brushed his teeth and went to his cabin. He had done his religious prayers for the night and had climbed into bed, changing into just loose fitting pants and no shirt.

When she casually strolled into his room, he had been up reading a book by a nightlight. His eyes slowly glanced up to watch her, wondering if she had any questions. Instead, she simply undid the robe she had on, allowing it to slip and fall to the floor by her ankles. He drank in sight of her body and the tattoos that artfully accented her curves. His eyes remained on her for a moment before shifting back to the book to finish off the line he was reading. After the line was done, the book was closed and floated away from the bed with the Force.

He didn’t protest as she climbed into his bed, an amused glint in his eye.

“I take it you don’t care for the current sleeping arrangements,” He muttered quietly as he turned to face her.

 

[Renfry]

She stood there a moment, letting him enjoy looking at her before he turned back to his book. Rather than allow him to finish his sentence, she simply plucked the book with the Force and set it down early as she slid into the bed.

It was already warm, what with him in it, and somehow despite being the same bed as what was in her cabin, felt far more comfortable. Softer.

That bed was nice but it was just so empty, she muttered with a smile.

But this one, she continued letting a finger run along his arm, tracing the muscles as she spoke.

It has one extra, underdressed Sith Lord in it, she said, swinging a leg over him so she straddled him. She continued tracing her finger along his skin, frowning and letting her eyes follow her finger.

I was wondering if you wanted to play a game before you went to bed, she said.

Who has more: your scars or my tattoos? she asked.

 

[Emryc Thorne]

He gazed up at her as she moved to sit atop him, amusement dancing in his eyes. He couldn’t help but admire her beauty from here, especially the way the shadows and low lights accented along her face. His gaze lowered along her jawline and neck, further down towards all the sensual curves that looked both athletic and yet delicate.

As her finger traced along his arm, his own hands came up to lazily drag along her thighs. Her question received silence for a moment as they often did, and his eyes were difficult to read for a few seconds. His fingers traced along the outside of her thighs and towards her knees and then back again.

“It changes for the scars,” He answered at last, gaze fixated on hers, “I will get more scars because they represent my sins and I know I am not perfect,” He admitted quietly, “Will you get more of these?” He asked as a finger traced up the side of her hip and along one of the tattoos on her body.

 

[Renfry]

She wasn't even slightly shy as he looked at her, from her face and neck and all the way down. Nor did she feel ashamed at looking at him either. He was strong, athletic, and desirable all in his own way.

She felt his finger along her skin and it made her heart quicken its pace. Her muscles shifted ever so slightly, almost imperceptible as she tensed under his touch. Her tattoos were his to touch and explore, and she would have opted for him to find them all.

She listened to what he said, her yellow eyes looking up and locking with his silver ones. He was an enigma and yet sometimes she felt as though she could see straight through him.

She wondered if one day he would consider himself perfect. If he thought it possible to ascend to a higher level. To become like the Sith Lords of old.

Will you ever be perfect? she asked.

She looked down, following his finger along her hip, following it wherever it would go and she shifted again. He would be able to sense it within her given their proximity. She could still smell him. The scent of his soap, his room, his bed.

Perhaps someday. Perhaps I'll have something else worth paying homage to, she said, leaning down and letting her lips brush against his neck, feeling her skin against his.

She let her lips linger as she spoke, her breath against his neck.

So does that mean you win? What do you want for a prize? she asked.

 

[Emryc Thorne]

Emryc stared at her as she asked if he would ever be perfect. The question was curious, and he absentmindedly felt along her skin for a moment. After a few seconds, a rare smile graced his face.

“I don’t need to be perfect,” He said quietly, “I simply need others to believe I am.”

He filed away the knowledge about her tattoos, knowing now that they were for devotion. It was a curious thing that caught his attention, and his eyes lingered for a moment on the markings on her body. He suddenly wanted to know, but he bit his tongue for now.

He gazed up at the ceiling above them as she leaned in to press her lips against his neck. Her breath was warm against his skin, and that warmth spread down throughout his whole body. He could feel her heat, her torso leaning against his. His hands slid up along her hips.

“Whatever you want to give me,” He murmured against her ear.