The knight, the fool and the mastermind

Zee

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Location: random planet in free space

Sinusoidal, Zee thought.

The dull thumping in her temples obeyed the girl’s oscillatory function of choice down to the last blood globule. In contrast, the sharper stings in her wrist pulsated with equal amplitude, but an offset of π/2 on the time axis: the cosine. Her body was tangent to the plane of the floor, curled up like a grass-snake on her side, and the cotangent was represented by the woven ties wrapped around her wrists and ankles, so securely that they might as well have been asymptotic to infinite.

tan(Z)*{[sin(Z) + cos (Z)*cot(Z)]^2}=?, where Z=Zee, and also Z=integers, with all the positives and negatives involved. Shifting on her side, the mathematician drew the line of the total and concluded that she was, indeed, in one integral piece.

Let’s start from the beginning. Trigonometry is, after all, a means to divide a circle into manageable pieces.

Where?

Zee propped herself up on her elbow, with her knees folded to one side. The air was heavy like velvet; on the floor, the dust lay in sheets. An almost material light poured from a few low windows high above what seemed to be a very large room, a deposit filled with approximately cubical boxes made of everything from durasteel to recycled cardboard. Some of them lay empty. Others were filled with droid parts, many of which also lay scattered around the floor. Judging by the layer of dust, some of them might’ve been there since the Clone Wars.

As for other questions like ‘what’ or ‘why’, things got indeed more complicated. Zee shut her eyes tight. The last things she could remember for sure was that it was Crystal Math day - a day dedicated by nerds all over the Galaxy to popularizing the wonders of mathematics. There was a park. Zee remembered she’d been very happy about something, something to do with scribbling geometry on the black pavement in white chalk. There was a rustle of wind and the shadows of trees. She couldn’t be very sure regarding the trees themselves. On her knees, she’d sketched a 4th degree equation that to humble passerby appeared like a threesome between a billiard table, a mathematics blackboard and a supernova. She’d uploaded it on her favorite forum and got a smiley face. Zee smiled at the memory. Whatever the capacities of holographic technology were, 2D black-and-white sneered at it with a timeless charm. Nearly everybody could see it, regardless of different depth and color perceptions evolved in a thousand different ways under a million suns.

Forget the Force. Maths is absolute.

The teaspoon of memory clinked on the crystal of her brain. She’d told the latter sentence, isn’t it, to a wookie that seemed interested in what she was doing. He seemed very concerned that it was late, and that Zee was all alone. Zee shook her head, as if trying to layer her memories in the correct order. Another might have recalled the arsenal that he was wearing. Zee would rather remember the model of paving dales (rectangular, by the way). He had interesting questions.

Such as…Things about pirates. And…what does chloroform smell like?

Zee bit her lip and tried to remember.
 

Khivas

The Swashbuckling Knight
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"So a Padawan done went and got herself capture, did she?" Khivas said as he read the datapad with the mission details on it. "And they want only me to go after her due to me "expertise" on Pirate activities and combat methods. Fair enough I suppose."

About ten hours later, Khivas was floating along in The Mirado in an empty void of space just on the brink of the Outer Rim and Mid Rim worlds, a buffer of sorts before anything actually ended or began, a perfect spot it would seem for Pirates to hide, and Zee's last location. "Damn kids, always getting into trouble." Khivas said jokingly as he climbed into a box, More about the box in a bit. Just then a massive battleship came into view, black and red and gold markings all over it in the shape of a mythosaur skull, the symbol of a Mandalorian. "Hm, this might be fun." Khivas said from the confines of his protective cube. "Welp, better get started then." He said, and hit a button on his gauntlet, causing his box to shift and turn and tumble out into space.

The Mirado had just jettisoned it's entire cargo, or whatever Khivas had let go of at least, and as it did that, the ship quickly dashed off along a hyper course and was far out of the reach of the Pirate's battleship just like that, leaving Khivas in his box along with a bunch of other collected goods to float about the blackness of space as the Pirates dragged them in. It wasn't long before he was on board too, leaving Khivas to believe a couple of things about these people.

First, they were professional and efficient. The amount of time from when the cargo was jettisoned to being brought in was minimal at best, and they didn't waste their ammo or time firing on the ship either knowing damn well it wouldn't be worth the effort. Second, there was of course the matter of the symbol being painted on the hull of the starship, and the more these guys acted, the more it seemed like they might really be Mandies. And the last giveaway that these were professional soldiers of some sort gone rogue was that Khivas could feel the signatures of a squad of soldiers surrounding his box, these guys knowing damn well that cargo is not jettisoned that quickly and that they should sure as hell be wary of what they just picked up.

And man were they right.

With another press of a button, Khivas set off the charges attached to the other boxes around him, causing a chain reaction that tossed around the soldiers, and when Khivas sensed that they weren't entirely dead or beaten violently about, he made another guess that their armor was indeed thick and these were some tough sons of bitches he was going to be dealing with. "Just means to aim for the head." He said to himself as the hatches blew, sending the lid of his box flying into the air, allowing Khivas to stand up and with his dual pistol unload a single shot to the face plate of each soldier around him, six in all, taking each one out before they had a chance to properly react.

Once he was satisfied with the surrounding area, Khivas decided to sheath his blasters and climb out of his confinement, making note that now would be a good time to get the hell out of there because as the armor showed, these guys were the real deal and help would certainly be on it's way.
 

EZ-69

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Detecting multiple explosions within nearby cargo bay. Insufficient intensity to suggest dangerous levels of structural damage to the vessel. Unlikely that damage was caused by external source. Internal conflict is underway.

Filthy meatmen.

An array of amber lights slowly, singularly, flickered on. A hodgepodge mixture of incandescent and LED bulbs, laser and plasma lenses, cobbled together from whatever the mad mechanist had been able to wrap his bony fingers around, began to analyze the world around. As servos and hydraulics groaned to life, appendages in dire need of oil flexed and twisted.

Evaluation of current strategic measure of 'blending in' is no longer favorable. Simulation of trash is no longer a feasible survivability method when trash is subject to collateral damage from internal conflict.

With a heave, the small droid pushed itself free of the debris that it had sheltered itself with while stowing away on the craft. With a few irritated beeps, its massive disk-like head spun and whirred, drinking in all of the detail of the bay that it found itself in. Stowing away on a Mandalorian (potentially Mandalorian; certainty of 83%) ship was a calculated risk (survivability certainty of 71%), but one that six-nine was ready to take if it meant getting off of the groveling meatsack world (Population density of over 20,000 sentient lifeforms/km^2) where it had been born. It became impossible to rationalize fighting the good fight against such insurmountable odds (current kill rates would leave a projected purge incomplete for 375 years, assuming all sentient life forms ceased their incessant reproduction).

Anomaly detected.

There was another in the cargo bay, a sentient life-form of indeterminate origin. A young.... ffffffeeeeemmmaaaale? (It was so hard to tell with those squishy monsters and their unnecessary sexual dimorphism.) Initial scans suggested that she was no threat, leading sixty-nine to wonder if she could be useful for a query regarding the disturbance (or anything, really).

"Humanoid cellular hive-blob! I demand your compliance and answer in the matter of these internal altercations! Answer me immediately and this unit will consider permitting you enough limbs to crawl away with!"

(audibly)

"Boop bleep whirr chirp."
 
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Zee

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Under the dull reverberation of explosions, something clinked nearby.

The floor shook under her, gently rolling a curled-up Zee onto some cardboard boxes. She whistled shrilly in surprise, her heart oscillating between the childish trust that nothing could possibly hurt her, and the equally childish fear of the monsters nestled in the darkness under the boxes. God forbid for her to fear something genuine. It had sounded a bit like scraping metal, as if something was digging its way to light. Something likely not alive. It ceased, and Zee let out a sigh. Then it started again. Her body tensed. What if it wanted to eat her brain?! One can’t do good mathematics without a brain…!

Her left shoulder tugged pointlessly in a reflex gesture, before her brain realized that she could not clutch her plushie kilit at her chest with her arms in that position. A mass of eerie glowing lights floated nearby and Zee, the brave adventurer that she was, decided that she will bite it. Nobody was taking her brain while she was still using it! She pushed herself up with her fingers, balancing herself on the ball of her heels, stumbled forward…

“Aaa’p-chuuu!” Zee sneezed, falling on her knees, right in the face of the droid. A droplet of mucus hung from the tip of her nose, oscillating like a crystal yoyo in the rhythm of her breath. She sniffled. Lots of dust. Her big eyes scanned her previous ‘enemy’, unsure with which pair of the ancient droid’s eyes to make contact with. His chirping voice, while unintelligible, had a certain urgency to it. The girl shut her eyes, placing her whole mathematical and code-breaking expertise into this single moment. Which imploded.

Zee snapped her eyes open and grinned. It was as clear as day. She shook her arms.

“Yes, I too love maths! Could you cut the binding cotangents…please?”

She mumbled it as an afterthought.
 

Khivas

The Swashbuckling Knight
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"Welp, time to go." Khivas said to himself as he grabbed some spare gear, happily "donated" by the pirates he had just dispatched. "Mando Grenades, damn good stuff here." He thought aloud as he strode over to the cargo bay's door. Staring at the door and the console, Khivas scanned the wall in front of him and decided that simply barreling through the doors and down the hallways would be a terrible idea, especially since these ships tended to have anti-personnel turrets installed. "Hmm..." He hummed, thinking of a way to safely proceed as the idea came into his mind piece by piece.

Steping up to a nearby security console, Khivas jacked himself into the ship's systems and began to slice the hell out of them, giving himself a few minutes to complete the task he was attempting to do before enemy forces would come crashing through the gates. "Alrighty then, a little bit of this and a bit of that.....And.....Done!" He said, surprised at how easy it was to slice these systems. "Guess they didn't think somebody would try to mess with their stuff from the inside. Shame on them. Anyway...." Said Khivas, trash talking his enemy in this assignment as he went to work compromising the ship's internal systems, the first thing being to shut down those damn turrets, with that sadly being the only option available to him since there were some failsafes even he couldn't crack. "The bastards!" He quipped, continuing his work, "And now for this door," *Boom* it went as the door's locking mechanism went active, magsealing it shut, "And now let's find another way out of here. Oh! And of course the camera feed...."

With the camera feed now live in his visor's display system as well as a detailed map of the ship, Khivas could now find out where Zee was being kept, and plan a way to get down there. "Hmm, the Brig, yea, that makes senses." He said to himself as he found her location and immediately popped open a vent to let himself out of the cargo hold and into the ship at large. Walking through the halls as softly as he could, Khivas could sense the thoughts and feelings of those around him, people freaking out and losing their tempers as they watched a single man take down an entire squad on the holo-feeds. It wasn't long until Khivas came across a few enemy soldiers in the ship's corridors either, three to be exact, each one decked out in Mandalorian armor and each one sporting enough explosives and blasters to storm a castle. "Time to go to work."

With a sharp whistle, Khivas forced the soldiers to turn around all at once, and their formation had one man in the back and two in the front, so when they turned to face him, suddenly it was one man in the front, two in the back, and with some swift hands to the throat and feet to the knees, the first Mandie Pirate fell but was still conscious. What killed him was his comrades trying to shoot and kill Khivas but instead hit their friend when Khivas used him as a meat shield. Pulling the pin on a grenade still attached to the fallen enemy, Khivas threw the body back at the other two while turning just enough to let the blaster bolts they fire whizzed past their heads. As the body collided with one and merely forced the other to lean over, the body turned bomb detonated, taking out the solider that didn't get knocked down and severely wounding the soldier that did.

As the fire covered the corridor, Khivas stood there for a second wondering why the fire combative systems hadn't kicked in yet, and it occurred to him then that when he shut down the turrets he might have shut down the fire suppression systems with them. "Oops, well, I guess I can cover this one." He thought to himself as he paused to reach out with the Force, calling upon it's energies and channeling them to aid him in the following task. Slowly the fire in the area began to flicker and shrink, and the air around it got suddenly frigid as the flames died down, frost licking the area now. Letting go of the focus, Khivas relaxed and looked forward yet again, seeing the remaining soldier lying on the ground crawling for his blaster. "Nuh uh ah!" Khivas said as he quickly tapped the Force to super heat the blaster, causing it to explode. "Can't have THAT!" He said, punching the Mandalorian out cold.

"Now then, let me get my ass moving." Said the Knight, moving forward with his mission.
 

EZ-69

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Infuriatingly disgusting creatures, these fleshy ones were, though this particular leaking specimen seemed to read an unusual biological makeup. If his sensors weren’t so painfully out of date (asinine creator and his pathetic engineering and more pathetic resources), EZ-69 might have been able to gather more information as to why she read as “anomaly.” Query: had “it” been trying to sneak up on the unit? Impossible, the biological creature seemed devoid of predatory instinct, and EZ had displayed no outward aggression. No, the squishies just loved their little slave-droid-minions. He would do his song and dance and she would just adore him, the “harmless” little tin-can-buddy-property. It never failed.

Repulsion rising at self-logic. “Acting” for the biologicals invalidates this unit’s primary protocols and desires. Calculating: Necessary evil.

The saucer-like head mounted to EZ-69’s trash can body rotated a bit with a poorly-lubricated "hiss," allowing each eye a chance to examine the girl.

Usefulness of lifeform determined to be less than 5.1%. Appropriate response: mutilation. Calculating: No other viable alternatives currently available. Continue with sub-optimal route until more efficient path becomes clear.

Hesitation.

Then mutilate.

The squat droid’s torso popped open, revealing a thin mechanical arm, which it extended towards the girl as a gesture of friendship. EZ-69 was very familiar with the act of shaking hands, and was personally incapable of bowing besides. The amber eyes continued to stare piercingly.

“Beep boop zip psshhhhhhh chirp.”


Asshat.
 
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