Open Yavin IV The Greatest Teacher, Failure is

[Laeonas Tannaras]

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Zerath's added reassurances about his lack of a need for an apology... only made the man retreat into himself, turning his head in as he choked on his own emotions. The knight had no idea how wrong he was. He didn't even know what Laeonas was apologizing for-- in the first straightforward, genuine apology he'd provided in years. The man had come to learn, to become stronger, to begin working to undo the shame and humiliations that he'd suffered at the hands of the Mandalorians-- and he'd broken, badly.

"Your failures do not define who you are." But he was being brought down by his failures, right now. How many nightmares had he had, where in the final moments of some Firrerreon family, some parent or loved one told some crying, terrified child that "it would be all right," just minutes before turbolasers blew them to smithereens? It was a lie, a lie he was being told in some vain hope that he was stupid enough to believe it. Every scar he had proved it was a lie, the crutch under his armpit proved it was a lie. Failure was carved into his body and soul, and nothing the knight said would change that.

As he stood, the man would follow Zerath's instructions, making his way over to a nearbye chair and promptly sitting, aquamarines boring holes into the floor as he tried his best to recenter himself. He just needed a minute to relax, than he could put this aside for awhile. If it got to bad, he could slip onto his ship later and break open that stash of liquor he'd been hiding for a few weeks. He was in the middle of one of his breathing exercises when he heard the robotic voice of Elidan's datapad, cutting through the tiny bit of serenity he'd managed to cling to.

Looking up, aquamarines narrowed as he heard the voice address him by name. "Fix that machine's pronunciation." He snapped, "It's Lay-oh-nahs, not Lay-oh-nays." The man explained, brow furrowed before he turned away. He Didn't speak for the next few seconds, before muttering, "...yeah, we did have a class together a few months back." The lesson with Alym was one it'd take quite awhile to forget-- and Elidan had been there.

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@SlagathorTheUnknown @LouJoVi @Woosher

 

[Zerath Eblon]

Zerath sat down a few feet away from the snacks, having grabbed a water for himself. He scanned the training area, considering what to teach next. It pleased him to see the normally reserved Elidan approaching Laeonas, even as he hoped that the half-Annfyn's presence wouldn't be unwelcome.

Zerath's thoughts, however, quickly returned to the lesson. He'd planned to include some tactics for offense, but given Laeo's breakdown, the Jedi Knight had to be careful how he approached the subject of striking back. Revenge was not the Jedi way. To that end, Zerath had obtained a flamethrower mounted on a special mannequin-like platform. The flamethrower had a rapid on/off switch, and its range was easily adjustable. The stand and the weapon itself had extra heat insulation to help it endure the heat from its own flames; Zerath intended to give the attendees a crash course in Pyrokinesis.

He waited another couple of minutes before calling the class over to stand off to the right side of the setup, having clearly marked a danger zone around the flamethrower on the ground. Also marked were a pair of X's; one slightly ahead of where the group would be sitting, about two meters to the right of where the flames would pass by, and one approximately 10 meters away from the flamethrower was located; in line with the flames but safely outside of their reach.

"Our next lesson deals with countering the flamethrower jets that the Mandalorians employ" Zerath said when everyone was situated. "A Force barrier will also protect you, but by using Pyrokinesis you can turn the flames back on their user. First we will practice shaping the flames"- he pointed to the X off to the side of the flamethrower- "by diverting their path so that the flames move away from you. Once we are comfortable with that, we will move to the other X and try pushing the flames back onto the mannequin."

Zerath paused a moment, glancing over the attendees. "Resist the urge to match the flame's intensity with your own emotions. Instead, draw on an experience where you are cool and calm. You must be order within the chaos." Zerath knew from experience how difficult it was to stay grounded in the heat of battle; hopefully, those present could start practicing that now. The experiment was designed so that even a complete failure wouldn't harm anyone, but Zerath was ready to step in at a moment's notice if needed, and he demonstrated the first objective; using Pyrokinesis to turn the flames 90 degrees to the mannequin's left so that they were redirected straight away from him. "Who would like to go first?"

((OOC: Please roll a d20 for success, DC is 8 for this first attempt))

@LouJoVi @Tom

 

[Elidan]

Elidan only nodded when Laeonas said that he should fix the pronunciation of the Datapad. He could do it, but most of the time the device did it correctly. It wasn’t his fault if the man had a name that was so strange to be pronounced. It sounded like mayonnaise. The half-Annfyn wondered if the guy’s parents were fans of the sauce and tried to turn it into a name for their son.

“How is your training as a Padawan going?” Laeonas was so old that Elidan thought that it was so strange to call him this way. “Do you have a Master?” while having one wasn’t necessary anymore to become a Knight, the half-Annfyn had learned that a Master could teach someone many more things that would turn them into better Jedi.

After this small exchange with Laeonas, Elidan felt uncertain of how to continue the conversation with him. Even before his mutism, the half-Annfyn never was eloquent when talking with others. Perhaps he should leave the man alone, the look on his face showed that he didn’t want to talk.

Thankfully, Zerath had decided to restart the lesson. He went with the others to where the Miralukan was calling. Once he arrived there, the half-Annfyn saw what seemed to be a flamethrower. He wondered what they were going to do now. Were they going to practice the resistance of their Force shields?

Then, the Miralukan explained that they were going to practice Pyrokinesis. Elidan had heard about this ability before. A Force user could use it to manipulate flames, this way protecting himself or even using them as a weapon. This was the perfect defense against the flamethrowers used by the Mandalorians.

When Zerath asked who wanted to go first, Elidan moved to the position where he would face the flames. Once the fire came out, the half-Annfyn tried to follow the Miralukan’s instructions. He closed his eyes and focused on the flames. The Padawan couldn’t match its intensity, he needed to stay cool and calm. He thought about his Master’s presence and how it calmed him. Then, he also started to think about Ruzaan and how his presence was comforting. Focusing on it, the boy would slowly move the fire.

However, his thoughts about Ruzaan made him remember the time that the two were investigating the mysterious machine. He had used his telepathy and nearly killed a Trandoshan because of his anger. These feelings were like the fire that was in front of him, prepared to consume everything.

This realization made Elidan open his eyes. He lost his concentration and the fire stopped being redirected. The Padawan turned to Zerath before returning to where the others were. He would need more training to learn to do it properly.

@SlagathorTheUnknown @Tom @Woosher

 

[Zerath Eblon]

Zerath nodded approvingly as Elidan stepped forward; the half-Annfyn, while quiet, clearly was brave. Elidan impressed Zerath even more by managing to bend the flame on his first attempt; even if he did later lose control, a good chunk of new practitioners failed to influence the flames at all on their first few attempts. "Well done" he said as Elidan finished his attempt. "That was very good for your first time! I accidentally directed the flames towards myself when I did this as a Padawan!" Looking back, he could laugh at himself, and he hoped that his story might take away the sting of failure if Elidan was feeling that in the moment.

"Who would like to go next?" he asked the group.

@LouJoVi @Woosher @Tom

 

[Laeonas Tannaras]

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The persistence Elidan displayed in trying to be social with him was surprising, and definitely not something the man was used to. He couldn't tell if it was out of some genuine interest, or if the Padawan just felt bad about Laeonas' breakdown. Either way, the man would wait a moment to actually respond, answering, "...good enough, I suppose. I feel stronger than I was a few years ago. I've got a lot more experience using the force under my belt. Might even be knighted soon." He'd add, though the last bit was more a fleeting hope. He may have been going on missions and training, but it took a lot more than skills with the force to make someone a proper knight.

The question about a master got a more direct answer from him, as the man actually managed to smile a little. "I do; she's helped me a lot over the past few years." He replied. "I was in a bad way when I first arrived here, but she took me from this really bad state of mind and body, and well..." He'd add, before glancing down at himself. "...I know it doesn't look like it, but I'm in a way better place than I was a few years ago." The man finished.

It was by this point in the conversation that Zerath cut back in, introducing to the class the second part of their training. The man's interest was immediately piqued as the flamethrowers were rolled out. When Zerath mentioned Pyrokinensis, he had to draw on his studies for a moment, remembering only a brief mention of the power in the lessons he and Ephiny had gone through. The man's instructions were clear enough, and this seemed... easier, to say the least. Drawing on calm experiences would be easier on his part than feelings of safety.

The man would slowly stand, hobbling over to a flamethrower and a target. He took a few deep breathes, closing his eyes as he summoned memories of calm. Jogs through the forests, hours of meditation, the evenings where he'd simply recline and let things play out. Yet the haze of what had happened, the reminder of his trauma, it still hung there, a cloud over his vision. That was why, as the flames belted forward, the man just barely managed to turn the flames away from him, and towards the X. It took every ounce of concentration within him to stay calm-- and yet the hairs on his hand were still singed.

By contrast, Elidan had managed to redirect the flames without any outward signs of struggle. The man didn't dwell on it for long though; it had taken him a bit longer to get things done, and it was sloppy, but he'd still succeeded. Even if he hadn't, progress was progress, and it would come as long as he worked for it. "Done." He declared. His hand, still in it's brace, twitched a little as he tried to make a thumbs up, all his fingers still extended as his thumb pointed.

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@SlagathorTheUnknown @LouJoVi @Woosher

 

[Zerath Eblon]

Zerath watched intently as Laeo stepped forward to attempt the exercise, then nodded approvingly as the older Padawan managed to slightly avert the flames. Given what had transpired earlier in the lesson, Zerath was impressed that Laeo had even managed to influence the flames. All in all, a little over half had succeeded by the time everyone had attempted the exercise. Motivated by their success but not wanting to rush them to the second, arguably more difficult exercise, Zerath decided that a little more practice couldn't hurt.

"Very well done" Zerath addressed the group as he turned off the flamethrower and began changing its fuel container. "We will try this again; take a few moments to meditate on your previous attempt, center yourself, and prepare for a second attempt."


(OOC Note: DC is still 8, but you may make this roll with a +1 bonus due to your previous attempt)

@LouJoVi @Woosher @Tom

 

[Laeonas Tannaras]

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It took a moment for Laeonas to refocus on the class around him, utterly transfixed on his own hand for a moment. He continued to try and move his fingers, each one merely twitching. His thumb was the only one that did as commanded, as the bone and muscle and nerves that had been destroyed from the shot to his wrist had nothing to do with his thumb's ability to move specifically. It was physically impossible for him to use his hand as it once had been, and yet he continued trying regardless.

That was until he heard Zerath's praise, and the man finally turned his attention back to the Knight. After listening to his instructions, his eyes would fall on the targets once more, before he took a few steps backward. He took a deep breathe, allowing his lungs to fill and empty with air. He'd come here today for a reason; to become stronger, to prepare himself so that the next time he encountered the beskar clad warriors who'd attacked Lothal, it'd be them who'd have to crawl back to their ships after allowing their comrades to face certain death. He was here to do what he always did when someone wronged him; prepare to even the score.

It was what came natural to him, and yet the teachings he was supposed to take to heart, the code he'd read to himself every night, stood against those pursuits. Even his mind and the force around him were unsettled by his feelings. His motivations were defined by the past; by what had happened to him, what he'd suffered through. That was not how a Jedi ought to use the force.

"Than what d'ya do?" He thought to himself. As he looked at the targets before him, the flamethrow ready to activate, he once again focused on the memories of calm he'd felt. He focused, and yet he didn't let any of his thoughts become obscured. All his desires were there; "justice," balance, the breaking of bones and triumph over his enemies, as well as the peace he so enjoyed in his meditations, the calm that came with simple exercise and conversation with his peers like Elidan, the thoughts of his teacher and how much he had progressed.

There was emotion; and yet, there was peace.

He hobbled forward, and let his hand hang by it's side. When the flames belted out, he didn't bother with any physical indications, as he and most usually did. The flames would, almost immediately, shirk off to the side. Laeonas' eyes widened as he watched the flames bathe the target spot on, the heat still radiating just a few feet from him. When he allowed the flames to be directed towards him again, he redirected it back; than he did it again, and again, and again. His mind was clear, focused, the man's passions and emotions present, yet the peace and serenity he found fueled the force greater than will and emotion ever had.

For that single minute, Laeonas knew what it was like to be a Jedi.

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@SlagathorTheUnknown @LouJoVi @Woosher

 

[Elidan]

After Zerath announced that they were going to have a break, Elidan walked toward a place where he could meditate about his failure alone. For a moment, he felt that he was able to bend the fire by using his memories of his friendship with Ruzaan. However, he soon lost control because these memories reminded him of what he did against the mercenary.

While he stayed alone in a corner, the auburn-haired boy thought that perhaps he should find another memory to use to remain calm while trying to control the flames. Elidan tried to remember what it could be. The moments that he used to stay alone reading could be useful, but he felt that these weren’t strong enough.

Then he remembered when he met his Master in the library. This was an important moment for him and since then, Haldir’s presence always left him calm and in peace. Perhaps he could use it this time. This probably was the best option that he had so far.

Once the others returned to practice again, Elidan abandoned his thoughts and followed them. He watched with a small smile on his lips when Laeonas was successful in making the flames move. The older Padawan didn’t look as only some moments ago he had been crying on the floor.

When it was his time, the half-Annfyn moved into position. He focused on his memories about Haldir, feeling calm. He stretched his hands and waited for the flames to come. It didn’t take too long for the flamethrower to be activated. Focusing on them with the Force, Elidan tried his best to not think in the violence of the fire.

This time he was more successful, the Padawan was able to redirect the fire more properly and for a bit longer than early. He tried another time, and had the same result. While he needed more training, Elidan felt satisfied for having been able with what he achieved.

@SlagathorTheUnknown @Tom @Woosher

 

[Zerath Eblon]

Zerath's smile shone almost as brightly as the flames did as he watched Laeonas' second attempt at the exercise. For a moment, the older Padawan was grounded in the Force, like a tuning fork resonating in a perfect octave with the world around it. For any Padawan to achieve such a connection was commendable, and for Laeo to do so gave Zerath a burgeoning feeling of hope deep within him.

Such hope was fueled further as Elidan stepped forward for his attempt, showing control and poise despite his earlier failure. It was, Zerath reflected, less important for Jedi to be able to succeed on their first (or second) attempt as it was for them learn from their mistakes and try again.

After everyone had a chance to attempt a second time, Zerath deactivated the flamethrower and called the class over to sit on the ground back where the lesson had started. Zerath had become quite good at projecting his emotions through the Force- a helpful tool when supporting others- so he didn't have to say anything for the class to know how proud he was of them.

"Excellent work, my friends" he said once everyone was settled. Just because the exercise was over didn't mean that the lesson was, and Zerath never turned down the opportunity to learn from his students.

"What have you learned today?"


@Tom @LouJoVi

 

[Laeonas Tannaras]

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The single minute passed, and Laeonas felt peace leave him and emotion, volatile, return to his mind. One, perhaps the most justifiable in this context than any other time, reared it's head-- pride. Pride in centering himself, pride in this demonstration of skill, pride in the fact that just 20 minutes ago he'd been reduced to the pits of despair, and was now left reinvigorated. However, as strong as the feeling was, he fought off the instinct to revel in his emotions, to indulge in passion.

...but he was still proud of himself. That wouldn't change, even when he glanced over at Elidan out of curiosity. He'd done quite well, and Laeonas was genuinely impressed. He was however, still more impressed with himself. After all, Elidan hadn't just had a mental breakdown and done what he'd-- "Oh stop fellatin' yerself ya gobshite, it was a nice trick, but yer no feckin' master." His own voice interrupted the ego stroking thoughts like a speeder through a grocery store window.

Than it came time for them to reflect. Under any other circumstances this would've been painful as grabbing a heated doorknob, but... today was an exception. He had no cause to run to the nearest bottle of alcohol after today. There was no overwhelming shame, no guilt over some transgression he was supposed to feel bad over and yet made no effort to atone for. No, there was just him-- him and his accomplishments and his failures.

"...quite a bit." the older man spoke up first. "I... suppose I learned a bit more about what it means to center yourself; find serenity and all that." He began, "The fire was... well, it was cool, and it's going to make the lives of Mandos pretty difficult when they're trying to take mine." The man said, smirking a little. A couple of the other students who'd been nearbye chuckled and nodded along; they'd seen what he'd done, and due to being easily entertained teenagers, it probably dominated their thoughts.

"But I... don't think that that was the point. You weren't just trying to teach us how to defend ourselves, you were trying to teach us to be better Jedi. It isn't just that we can do-- pardon my firrerrean-- magic bullshite-- that makes us Jedi. It's... everything, really." He declared. "...that last bit was vague but I'm not talking anymore."

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@SlagathorTheUnknown @LouJoVi