Star Wars Rumour Generator

[jpchewy01]

The great people over at Slate have been so kind as to create a pretty hilarious rumour generator for news related to Star Wars: Episode VII.

Play around with it here:

http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2014/08/19/star_wars_rumor_generator_now_you_too_can_spread_baseless_speculation_about.html

 

[Cortan]

Unnamed sources tell us that Star Wars Episode VII will focus on a Padawan learner (played by John Boyega) who must learn the ways of the Force at the hands of an aging Luke Skywalker. Adam Driver and Domhnall Gleeson will play the children of Han Solo and Princess Leia, and our intel tells us that together they will go up against a fearsome Sith Lord (played by Gwendoline Christie), along with a menacing motion-capture alien (played by Andy Serkis). Lastly—though we were sworn to secrecy—we can now say with a high degree of confidence that the sequel will be called Star Wars Episode VII: Revenge of the Stormtroopers.

This Summer, the Marksmanship Academy has raised its standards.

 

[Cainhurst Crow]

Unnamed sources tell us that Star Wars Episode VII will focus on a Padawan learner (played by Max von Sydow) who must learn the ways of the Force at the hands of an aging Luke Skywalker. Lupita Nyong'o and Gwendoline Christie will play the children of Han Solo and Princess Leia, and our intel tells us that together they will go up against a fearsome Sith Lord (played by John Boyega), along with a menacing motion-capture alien (played by Andy Serkis). Lastly—though we were sworn to secrecy—we can now say with a high degree of confidence that the sequel will be called Star Wars Episode VII: Return of Boba Fett

:joytears:

 

[TwoSidedHeart]

Unnamed sources tell us that Star Wars Episode VII will focus on a Padawan learner (played by Gwendoline Christie) who must learn the ways of the Force at the hands of an aging Luke Skywalker. John Boyega and Domhnall Gleeson will play the children of Han Solo and Princess Leia, and our intel tells us that together they will go up against a fearsome Sith Lord (played by Lupita Nyong'o), along with a menacing motion-capture alien (played by Andy Serkis). Lastly—though we were sworn to secrecy—we can now say with a high degree of confidence that the sequel will be called Star Wars Episode VII: Attack of the Wampas .

:joytears: