Some Sort of Direction

[Le Seigneur d'Avocats]

Chervil snickered as his Master proclaimed, rather manner-of-fact-ly, that insulting people would not help him. However, he took the concluding thought to heart, as it was true that opinions were very malleable things. He had often heard stories of how the Jedi would simply remove or change "opinions" of those they encountered with a wave of the hand, though that didn't seem much in line with the way his master talked and acted. Nervously, Chervil wondered if perhaps his own "opinions" were being modified by the man in front of him.

But such paranoid feelings dispersed as they emerged from the temple. Oriatius began to explain some teachings of the force. Chervil found it interesting that neither view of the Force really thought much about Dark and Light. And though his Master seemed to explain as opposing points of view, why were they mutually exclusive. His master continued, expounding upon the teachings by offering either a tale or a piece of history. He proposed a number of questions that were probably meant to be merely rhetorical, but Chervil found them agonizing. Somehow his master had latched onto his previous displeasure.

"Master... If you had asked the Jedi of the prophecy if he had wanted to fall, I'd think he would say 'no.' But then, he had fallen anyway, regardless of whatever choices he had made or how he attempted to be, he found himself where he did not plan to. Perhaps because he was unaware of the far-reaching consequences of the choices he was making. Or perhaps because of the choices of others. It makes me wonder whether the choices we make are of any importance at all, because they would still be part of whatever far-reaching plan has been drawn out for us. I don't want to think about it, but as much as it may seem like it isn't, the future is just as written in stone as the past, isn't it? I mean, choices are important and we make the ones we think are best, but... I didn't choose to be created in the first place, and I certainly didn't will what events transpired to make me the person that I am; the person that will choose to save a group of children. All of that, just sort of... happened. I mean, it all kind of just makes me feel like I'm a piece being moved around in dejarik."

His tone was even, but obviously disgruntled and maybe even slightly angry, or at the very least argumentative or searching. He looked at his Master in earnest, hoping he would exclaim some old teaching that would state one way or another, that fate was pre-determined and not worth worrying over, or that free-will was evident and one had to scrutinize every move in order to ensure that what happened was to one's liking. Perhaps secretly, he even hoped that his Master would wave his hand and remove such "opinions."

 

[DeathToll]

AbdAas gestured an open palm to a pair of birds above in the distance, for no reason or rhyme. He seemed to have stumbled across something the boy felt strongly about, however. These were things that could not be overlooked, but in fact should be guided and encouraged for obvious reasons. These were times not to be rushed, but enjoyed. Interesting how Chervil believed himself so ignorant not long ago, and yet to now assert himself with such solidity. It fed AbdAas, leading him to believe there was great promse in this youth.

"Ah, but that would neither be the correct question nor conclusion. If he had 'intended' to fall, then he would not have 'fallen' at all. For it was his choice of dedication, choosing destructive emotion over selflessness. One chooses action, not reaction; chooses cause, while only estimating effect. I would instead ask him, of the thing he holds most dear and the thing he would most freely give ...do they align as one? If they do not, then he is not being honest with himself as a Jedi. For these things must be the same. A Jedi must choose to give, not take. And you always have a choice."

"But my point was not on the inevitability of his fall, as that was excluded from his known prophecy. He, in fact, fell in spite of his prophecized victory. Him choosing to take life when he feared the loss of those dear to him. Instead, mine was to point out the opponent's choice to save life rather than end it."

"Your destiny will be molded by your own hand. For it would remove the meaning of right and wrong to infer otherwise. We are all free to flux from light to dark, and back again. As I said, the concept of the 'Living Force' is both part of Light and Dark. It includes both the Light and the Dark sides of the Force. But we do not choose where we stand in the spectrum, just as it is not chosen for us. Instead, we choose what actions determine our reality. The future is not written. Rather, the beginning has been laid out before you by your forefathers. But they do not stand beside you now. You might not have laid the first brick, but you alone determine where this path leads."

AbdAas ran a finger over his beard. He wondered if the boy had pondered the meaning to his own life. For what meaning would there be to live if it was not his life to live. But AbdAas was only just beginning to peer into this bright mind, and hadn't the insight needed at this point to touch on what really mattered to Chervil. And even then, AbdAas wished more that others discover their own understanding through their own reasons. Though instances in AbdAas' past have proven to be ...difficult at times, in part due to this belief.

"You won't will those events to happen. Someone else will. But in a galaxy so full, the waves of the masses may seem like the current of but one all powerful entety. But in reality, it is the sum of all those individual's choices that propel events into motion. But you have come to the Jedi, by whatever means -be it because of others if you wish to see it so; so become an agent of choice. Choose now. Choose to become a proponent of life. Choose to serve others, when others would serve only themselves. Choose a destiny that is made by your own doing. And find yourself with meaning, whether you act as Grimtaash or Kintan strider."

 

[Le Seigneur d'Avocats]

"Ugh. This is so... complicated."

The Padawan turned his head towards the nearby foliage and studied it. It was a dense, tangled mass of leaves and vines, and it was scarcely possible to tell where one plant ended and another ended. He sighed at the disorder, but smiled. It was better than an endless expanse of blue.

"I suppose it's no use deciding whether my actions are pre-determined or not. It isn't as if I could change that anyway. As you say, the wise decision is to make the best choices that I can, even if I can't tell what will happen or whether they will matter at all. I don't think this discussion is beneficial to my training, Master. Perhaps it is best to wait until later, when I am older and wiser."

"I would like for you to continue on with whatever you were going to... before I interrupted, Master," Chervil finished guiltily.

Oriatius was correct; for better or for worse, Chervil was now with the Jedi. Though the matter obviously still troubled him, Chervil felt that it was incorrect for a Jedi to be concerned about such metaphysical problems. He intended to be a more potent, more noticeable force, despite whether he was able to decide truly for himself what exactly he would be a force for or not. This didn't require such musing, but it did require more training.

 

[DeathToll]

AbdAas' softened expression found the object of his Padawan's focus, noticing the foliage in a different light though also sensing Chervil's own swirling emotions. It would one day be worth noting that ones surroundings were simply a reflection of the self. Instead of neither end nor beginning from one plant to the next, AbdAas saw connection and instinctual choice of life to become stronger by naturally weaving together. But Chervil seemed hyper-focused on his origins and lack of meaning, which was normal for any youth. Still, AbdAas took mental note of all that had transpired, feeling no regret; but instead feeling good about what they had established. Honesty is the basis for enlightened growth, and Chervil seemed quite honest about his feelings.

"As you wish... The Force is an energy, not dominated nor controlled but accessed. Life. You will harness its ability, once you learn to open yourself to its flow. With it you can execute combat oriented technique, such as 'Push' or 'Pull'."

AbdAas raised his hand up and out before them and released a slight and controlled burst of the Force as he spoke, followed by a whirling suction through the air; first Pushing a falling leaf and then Pulling it back towards him. Continueing their walk, he then elegantly swirled his hand up to carress the leaf in it; but a slanted blue hue of a light barrier caught the leaf and let it slide down its embrace. Finally, he encapsulated a bubble around the leaf just before it reached the ground, and he set it down softly and released the bubble.

"There are endless applications to the Force, and we are one with it. But, most importantly, a Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense. We must be careful not to utilize anger or aggression as a motivator for wielding it. If you do, then you invite the Darkness."

AbdAas motioned to the falling leaves before them that had detatched from limb and requested their focus. Some were discolored, while some were dried and splintering.

"Feel the world around you. Notice the soil shift beneath your feet. Inhail the breeze into your lungs, and hear the sounds of nature all around. Each tree is filled with life, connected to you and I and all others. Hear the nibbling of the furry animals as they eat somewhere in the distance. Taste the evergreen of oak and leaf. The Force is in them as they react to you, telling you every little detail if you but quiet your mind for them."

AbdAas would lead by example, releasing his energy outward and through Chervil and everything around them. Chervil would feel AbdAas' influence on him, and in effect feel that connection that would start him down the path and into the larger world that few could bear witness to.

 

[Le Seigneur d'Avocats]

Such was something that Chervil had already experienced. Faintly, almost imperceptibly, beneath the waves. And later, in a cold steel room. Though from the way AbdAas spoke, it seemed that we was not aware of the fact. Here, in the wilds of Tython, it was easier to feel that pulsating, mellow sweetness, than ever before. And though he had managed to execute techniques using the force before, it was never so much as what his master had done with a leaf. The way he manipulated it with such ease made Chervil chuckle. Though after his master had finished talking, he did not know exactly what he was to do.

So he just outstretched his arm towards the leaf and watched it waft slowly upwards a few feet into the air, smiling faintly.

 

[DeathToll]

They continued walking into the wild, the path becoming less defined as the shrubbery was becoming thicker and intrusive around them. AbdAas had planned for a different setting for training this one then the others. The Temple was behind them now, and would later welcome Chervil in the next phase of his youth; but now, their path was forward -into nature herself.

"Feel the Force, in all things. Tune your mind to its frequency, and you will find a connection growing between you and it. And let that connection settle inside you, that you may anchor with it two points; one, at your core, and two, in that which surrounds you."

A large bush blocked their path ahead, comfortable between the encrouching trees all around it at the base of a cliff. There was no where to go but up, but the trees blocked immediate sight of the cliff's face. Like a skyscraper over clouds, only the upper wall of pale brown rock could be seen over the greens of trees above. Yet still, there were small flats for which to stand occasionally.

AbdAas stopped just before reaching the bush so that, as he raise a pointed finger to the sky, his target might be seen by Chervil. The target, a jutting flat that one might climb to and stand for rest. It was nearly three stories high.

"That is our road. You will jump to that plateau."

AbdAas then began wrapping certain articles of loose clothing around himself so that nothing came loose when he himself jumped, and crouched down to sweep up the dirt and rub it into his callussed palms. It was the only way they could go, and to climb the rock face from here would invite dozens of deep scratches from the trees' limbs. AbdAas knew not what Chervil was already capable of, but would have started at the beginning regardless since Chervil is new to the Jedi and new to AbdAas' teaching. He will repeat himself and he will seem restrictive at times, but it will always be for Chervil's benefit. But this was a task AbdAas did not think Chervil knew well enough to accomplish on his own. A well enough place to start as any. Life's demands seem to dictate one's supply in it. So, AbdAas would supply Chervil with the ability to fulfill life's current demand.

 

[Le Seigneur d'Avocats]

They continued walking. Chervil knew not whether there was a set destination or if he and his master were just wandering aimlessly about. And as they encountered the obstruction, a scraggly mass of bushes and trees surrounding some large mesa littered with outcroppings and platforms, his master spoke. AbdAas intended, it seemed, to treat the obstruction not as an obstruction, but as an opportunity for teaching instead. Funny how everything Chervil had encountered since meeting his master had been used in a such a manner.

AbdAas motioned to one of the outcroppings on the mesa, which had a rather high elevation, and commanded Chervil to jump to it. Chervil would have laughed, but his master did not have that expression and sense he did when he was being playful however. Such a task was impossible. He knew that Jedi were very skilled and could perform immense feats through the force, but... something to that extent? But why should his master ask him to attempt the impossible? Was it possible that AbdAas could do such a thing? He appeared to be readying himself to do so. Was it possible for Chervil himself to perform in such a manner? Chervil smiled nervously.

He, as did his master, tightened his loose clothing in preparation, as if he actually knew what he were doing. He hopped once, as if reassuring himself that he had the basic motor function to perform the action. After all, if he did, they only thing holding him back would be the strength, or lackthereof, of his connection to the force. He looked back up at his intended destination and fought back the urge to tell his master no. Though he may end up looking like a fool, he would do as his master instructed. He remembered what his master had said about feeling the force around him and attempted to do so. He could feel it, flowing around him. But he did not feel it was enough to allow him to transport his body over such a distance. As he continued to stare at the flat space that was his destination, he reminded himself that it was wrong to say he felt the force around him, as at his most basic level, he was composed of nothing more than the force itself. No more or no less than his master, who was apparently able to perform such a feat with ease.

Without thinking further on the matter, he hastily took a few steps back and started to sprint. He jumped, and soared, leaping high above the trees. Certainly more than he could have expected himself or anyone else to do, moments before. But it was not enough. Chervil had the height, but not the length required to land where he had intended and he sank into the clump of trees surrounding the outcropping. Tumbling through the branches, he felt only elation at having come so close. He emerged from the foliage, removing some leaves from his hair, several small scratches on his exposed skin, beaming and ready to try once more.

 

[DeathToll]

AbdAas kept silent upon one knee as the Padawan prepared beside him, expecting Chervil to remain until AbdAas addressed the key elements of leaping through the Force. But he was happily surprised to look up to the sound of running footsteps, watching Chervil successfully soar into the air and nearly reach their first target. AbdAas stood up and smiled, even as he saw Chervil fall. It was an accomplishment indeed. And as Chervil returned from the foliage, AbdAas planted hands firmly upon hips and greeted the Padawan with a grin.

"You demonstrate great spirit, young one!"

AbdAas walked closer, passing Chervil as the Padawan reposition himself for another running start. The Sephi Master would end standing directly below the cliff, look up at their first marker, then turn back around to Chervil.

"Flesh means nothing. Size means nothing. Everything is permitted, but for the restrictions of your own perspective."

"Channel the Force into you, and act without inhibition. Trust yourself, and trust the Force."

AbdAas waved Chervil to go for it, turning his back to the Padawan so as to join him in this next attempt. When Chervil ran towards his point of take-off, AbdAas planned on jumping from a stand to fly through the sky along side Chervil.

 

[Le Seigneur d'Avocats]

Although relatively true, it always made Chervil feel silly, to be called 'young one,' by his master. Nevertheless, he felt grateful for the praise and spurred on. He moved backwards again, to once more attempt to arrive at his destination through a single bound, but he stopped to muse for a second on his master's words. He plodded slowly back to where his master was standing.

"If this isn't a question of my physical abilities and is instead about my connection to the force, isn't, umm, momentum... uh, cheating?"

He looked upwards at the edge of the platform. There was no doubt he could do it, now. And he jumped.

It was surreal. Before, he had scarcely paid attention to what was going on about him, but this time things seemed to happen slower. It was like watching someone else jump to the platform from their own perspective. His body rising above the stand of trees, the whistle of the wind past his hair, all sensations felt, but not really his own. As Chervil sailed towards his destination, he reminded himself that it wasn't him who was jumping, it was the force. Or something like that. His landing, however, was completely up to him. He was unprepared for it, perhaps too deep in contemplation of how he had actually done what he had, and rolled into the hard stone where the platform ended and continued jutting upwards towards the summit of the mesa, hitting his head with a grunt.