Slave to Our Fears

[Vuthari]

Anoat Jedi Shrine
Anoat

For a while there, Vu’thari was not certain Prax would take him up on his offer, but he contacted him the next day. The twi’lek knew that they could not train on Nar Shaddaa—it was far too risky. There was too much that could go wrong on Tatooine, so the Jedi settled on the Jedi Shrine that Luy and him discovered weeks ago. Since that time, he and Luy were able to see to it being cleaned out and stocked with stores so that it would be livable by Jedi and their Padawan for training. There were other reasons he wanted to train here—if Prax fell too far to the darkness, he would not harm anyone but Vu’thari. It was just the two of them here and many, many miles from civilization. Additionally, the shrine rested on a vergence…the Force was extremely strong here. He needed to get Prax trained up fast, mainly to ensure he could control what was happening to his body. This place would make it a bit easier to connect with the Force—any Nexus would.

Once they unloaded all their gear and settled in, Vu’thari and Prax had a quiet meal and chatted about Nar Shaddaa, what the time here would be like and discussed the regimented schedule they would keep. The Jedi knew he could not train Prax like he did Ayasha, just like he knew he would not be able to train Kae’Leigh like Prax—they were all different and unique in their own special ways—they were all so different in their needs, desires, fears, ambitions and hearts. One thing the twi’lek knew immediately about Prax was that he needed the physical piece of the training almost immediately. The irony was, he knew it would sharpen his control of emotions and his mind.

Looking over at his new “padawan”, he reminded him, “Prax, I know you looked over the information I gave you about Jedi and the Jedi Code on the trip over to Anoat. Tell me why you think the Jedi Code is a good ruleset to follow and how it is flawed…”

@Critas

 

[Prax Dek]

Prax had never been off planet from Nar Shaddaa. He had been scared to death to leave the planet. It had taken a monumental effort of faith and will to even set foot on the starship that they left on. Once on the ship he was a lot more comfortable. He simply didn’t look out the windows as they left his home. Some might say that he should have taken one last look, but he knew he would be returning. He understood that this was not goodbye by any means. So, as they left the planet, he did not feel the need to look back upon his home planet, he would return soon enough.

This new planet was a snow planet. The white snow from orbit had been beautiful to Prax. He had never seen anything like it before. Vu’thari was bringing him here to train and to learn. He had given him several data pads to read and absorb while he was on the ship. Topics included history and the code of the Jedi. It had taken a while for Prax to fully accept that Vu’thari was actually one of the mythical beings. It had never occurred to Prax that dreams, and legends might come true. Vu’thari was walking and talking truth and it gave Prax hope.

In the time since they had landed on the planet, Prax and Vu’thari had talked about his time on Nar Shaddaa. They had discussed life, primarily how Prax had come to be a slave and what had happened to his family. Vu’thari had been respectful of the situation with his father but they had talked about it. It was not Prax’s best moment, but he understood the need to face it.

Prax had read something in his books about what padawan called their mentors. They called them “Master” and that was something that could prove an issue for Prax. He needed to talk to Vu’thari about it but before he could broach the subject, Vu’thari started the questions.

“The Jedi code, from what I can gather, teaches harmony through whatever challenges you may face. A jedi seeks to transcend some aspects of the everyday life and even natural laws through the Force. A Jedi doesn’t seek to negate, but rather embrace, acknowledge and seek to overcome them.” He paused for a few moments, as he considered the code and tried to decide on a flaw to illustrate. “I think the main issue with the code is that assumes the universe is static. Jedi focus on how the Force works and how the universe is. The universe is as it is.”

@Mithias

 

[Vuthari]

Anoat Jedi Shrine
Anoat

Patiently, the Jedi listened to Prax’s answer. Some nodding as he spoke let Prax know that he was on the right track. When he finished, Vu’thari responded, “Insightful. Correct in many ways. With the Jedi Code, it is a well written rules set, only if you follow it to the letter, that is difficult. For example, ‘there is no emotion’. We are not droids…we are feeling, emotional organisms. I believe that one of the reasons the Jedi fell to the Dark Side is that they could not control their emotions. I do not believe in suppressing your emotions. Flatten them , reshape them so they do not rule you as the Sith would have you do, but instead using discipline and control, lessen the impact your emotions have on your actions and thoughts…”

Pause.

Looking at Prax, he gave the human time to digest what he just said and continued, “For example, let’s say you came across one of your slave ‘Masters’…by the way, never call me ‘Master’…it will get us both killed if we slip up and say that in the wrong company, so it is just best we don’t use those titles at all, especially around other people…”

Nodding to Prax, feeling this last bit pleased him and seemed to take some anxiety away. Vu’thari continued, “Back to what I was saying…oh yes, if you were to run across one of your old slave Masters, it would be very easy to give into hate and rage—Sith would give in to their emotions. As Jedi, we do not give in to our emotions. Most Jedi will block all emotion. I teach some of my students to not block out the emotion, but ‘flatten’ the emotions, but my Jedi ‘Master’ preferred to follow the Jedi Code devoid of emotion. I can teach you either way…”

@Critas

 

[Prax Dek]

Prax sat cross legged and listened to Vu’thari as he explained the finer nuances of the Jedi code. Prax had read the books and looked over the various data slates that his master had provided to him. It was good to understand the book learning aspect of the process and its meanings. It was not the full story and as far as Prax could tell, the journey through the Force was one of personal discovery. You could read all the books in the world and never get there if you did not have a way to personalize your views.

Prax agreed with his master’s words about emotion and nodded to show this. He could not imagine living life emotionless but Vu’thari had mentioned that his master had done just that. Prax knew he would need to find his own niche within the Force should all of this work out. He was not entirely sure what that niche might be, but he was keen to discover it. He did not want to be ruled by emotion, but it certainly seemed the case in some situations. It would be those situations that Dio would have to be very careful of in the future.

Vu’thari brought up the concept of his former owners, he would not call them master ever again. But his owners and the thought of them caused the emotion within Prax to build. It was raw, it was edged, and it was hatred. He felt he would burst with his anger at the very thought of them. Realizing this was just what his master was saying to him dawned on Prax and he slowed his breathing to dump the anger out of his system. He felt he needed an outlet but knew that was more Sith than Jedi. He felt he was unable to dump the anger or suppress it.

Prax tried to think of his emotion as fluid, just as fluid runs, it can run over a vessel, be contained within that vessel or drain slowly out of a vessel. He took that anger and turned it, changing its nature from anger to pity, like one might remove salt from salt water to make it fresh. Closing his eyes, he felt the change happen, he felt the pity for the slavers. They would never know peace, never have a good night’s sleep or a good meal. Slowly he felt that pity turn to satisfaction and Prax felt confusion at the evolution of emotion he had just felt.

“How do I know which teaching method is best for me? I am a warrior by trade, psyche and soul. Suppression of emotion is not in my nature. Perhaps the evolution of emotion rather than the suppression?”

@Mithias

 

[Vuthari]

Anoat Jedi Shrine
Anoat

Vu’thari could feel the tide of emotions storming through the young man. It was a wave of anger that he knew he would see at some point during this training, but the Jedi knew what he was getting into with the former slave. It was a road that would not be easy for Prax, but he truly thought he could help him.

“How do I know which teaching method is best for me? ..."

The best approach to help Prax to reach him through what the former slave could relate to most: combat.

“If I ask you now to suppress all your emotions and hope it will end in ‘peace’, it would be something that is too much to ask. As such, you have got to be able to deal with the emotions that rise within you. This does not mean suppress, this means control with discipline…”

The twi’lek thought about what he just sensed within Prax a moment ago. He walked over a corner of the main room. He threw a pair of rods over to Prax, who deftly caught them. Vu’thari picked up a rod as well and moved to the sparring room.

He faced off with his new Padawan and explained, “This is the room where you will learn the most. Combat will be the place that emotions will get you in trouble. If you give in to your emotions here, you will be lost. I am going to help you with that. We are going to work through your anger, your fear, and your frustration in this room the next few days.”

Pause.

“Disciplined control…”

With that, the Jedi spun his rod around into a two-handed grip and smiled, “Show me what you know, Padawan…”

@Critas

 

[Prax Dek]

Prax sat with Vu’thari, listening to him speak about emotion and suppression. He spoke of peace and suppression, these were things that Prax was at least acquainted with from his time in the pens. Peace definitely not as much as suppression, of emotion. He had asked about teaching methods but Prax was stumped with that one, he could not begin to understand how he would best be taught if he didn’t understand what he was to learn. Vu’thari had ideas to that effect and was interested in exploring them it seemed.

Vu’thari stood and passed over two training rods to Prax. He had been a fan of the two-blade style since he had learned the blade from a slave known as Gracus. Gracus had been a good teacher and had wanted his student to understand the triumphs and issues with blade combat. The network of scars on Prax’s body were a road map towards that destination.

“I think I understand your reference to controlling emotion. It will take practice in combat, as it has always been a place where emotion runs free. I hope to be able to channel it in a meaningful way.”

He followed Vu’thari into the training room and his mindset switched. This was a place where he was at home. The smell of the sweat, the faint hint of blood, the feel of the leather grips on the rods in his hands. He smiled involuntarily at the thought of it, it was his element and the chaos and uncertainty of the last few weeks seemed to drain away.

“This place is known to me and yet I have never been here. All training areas are much a like in scent and feel, this one is no different. This is a place where works gets done.”

Vu’thari spoke of ‘disciplined control’ and this mad Prax pause for just a heartbeat. He considered the words and looked down at the rods in his hands. He twirled them once to get their weight and reach in his mind before raising the one in his left hand to an engarde position before him, across his chest diagonally, roughly hilt to point, hip to eye. He rotated the right hand to have the ‘blade’ of the rod pointed rearward, letting it remain at a low guard hip to ankle. His hands were fairly close together and he adopted a fencer’s stance, left foot in front.

As Vu’thari invited him to show what he knew he lunged, left rod striking out like a viper towards Vu’thari’s face. As the viper struck, the lower blade swept across, heading towards Vu’thari’s left knee in a quick sweep even as the viper was retracting from its initial strike. He was balanced, on the balls of his feet, eyes on the hips of his opponent.

@Mithias

 

[Vuthari]

Anoat Jedi Shrine
Anoat

“You are not here just to fight, Prax. You are here to learn the mental side of this…as a Jedi.”

The twi’lek watched as his padawan settled into his warrior’s stance. His grandfather had taught him to fight against a fighting style such as this—often an aggressive two-weapon style. Controlling his breathing, the Jedi exhaled through his mouth feeling his limbs grow light as a feather as they relaxed completely. His eyes closed and then opened as Prax struck. The jab was fast, but the twi’lek was already moving. Stepping into the strike with his right foot leading, spinning to the left of Prax, the rod inches from his face. He was now almost side by side to Prax, but he kept moving. The two handed grip was relinquished the instant Prax struck and the right hand swept the rod down, deflecting the low strike aimed at Vu’thari’s knee. The Jedi was now in a position to counterattack, but shifted his stance to face his Pawadan, with his left foot slightly forward and the rod in his right hand with an inverted grip.

“Control, Prax. Do you mean to take my eye out?”

Vu’thari was impressed. Prax was already a trained warrior and quite adept with the two rods. He was going to be quite a combatant with the lightsaber…or lightsabers.

@Critas

 

[Prax Dek]

Prax remained on the balls of his feet, hands flowing with the movements of his Jedi master. He pivoted on one foot as the twi’lek came level with him, ending up facing his master as he came face to face with him. Vu’thari called for control and Prax smiled, “Yes, I mean no. I did not mean to take your eye. It was a feint to open your legs.”

Prax could remember the words of his old instructor, Gracus echoing in his head once more. He told Prax to keep the low guard, fire the initiative, keep an opponent reeling. Talk in a fight was for vids and losers. Yet as Vu’thari said, Prax was here to learn more than fighting. He knew how to fight. It was how to fight and think like a Jedi that he needed to learn.

Maintaining his high and low guard stance, Prax fired a similar open as before, lunging out with the left-hand blade. Expecting either the side step or parry, he stepped to his left as well and aimed a roundhouse kick to where his master’s head would end up. The momentum of the kick brought around his low guard rod in his right hand, which he kept at waist height on Vu’thari, stepping into the strike but ready to pull the blow should it be about to strike when surely it must.

Keeping Vu’thari’s teachings and his own happiness in check, Prax realized this was the first time in months he felt in control of his own actions. Here in the training area, he only needed to worry about what was in front of him and it was liberating.

@Mithias

 

[Vuthari]

Anoat Jedi Shrine
Anoat

The natural ability and training of his apprentice was clearly evident. This pleased the Jedi greatly, but harnessing such skill the right way was a must.

“Yes, I mean no. I did not mean to take your eye. It was a feint to open your legs.”

Vu’thari nodded and maintaining his concentration on his dangerous sparring partner. Prax took the same stance approach as before, but he would be ready for Vu’thari’s methods the next time. The Jedi’s fighting style was very different to most aggressive opponents. The techniques of his defensive style were specifically tailored for the offensive two-weapon styles found by most Sith…which was eerily similar to what Prax was utilizing against him.

This time when Prax jabbed with his left, Vu’thari recognized the feint for what it was. He took a deft step back, the Force flowing through him like a fast-moving stream. His head and back leaned away from the strike. A roundhouse kick immediately followed. While a roundhouse kick was a powerful offensive maneuver, it was a slow developing one. The inverted grip of his rod, quickly switched from the right to the left hand in a position to parry the rod in Prax’s right hand, while stepping into close proximity to Prax. However, this time Vu’thari countered with a tactic that Prax may not have been exposed to before. His left hand showed a flat palm facing the torso of Prax as the roundhouse was streaking towards his head…but then a powerful blast of telekinetic force focused into Prax’s body while the Padawan was precariously balanced on one foot attempting his spinning kick. It would be nearly impossible for the Padawan to move out of the way of the blast in mid maneuver. The force of the invisible kinetic blast would send the Padawan to the other side of the room against the wall with tremendous force. However, Vu’thari had complete control of the Force when attempting this power. While he had the ability to send the Pawadan into the wall with bone-shattering force, this was training and Prax was not an enemy. Vu’thari knew it would be enough to knock the former slave to the ground, which was his only intent…

@Critas

 

[Prax Dek]

Prax turned on his hip, his roundhouse kick gaining in momentum as he was suddenly thrown off balance and tossed forcibly across the room. The unseen force had lifted him and pushed him away from his target to spite his technique and balance. It took Prax completely by surprise and went against all of his training. He had heard that Sith could do such things and had even trained for them, but he never considered a jedi using such a tactic. It angered him that he had been taken by surprise, not at his foe but at himself.

He landed hard on the floor and slid back a few feet from Vu’thari, his head hit the floor and he saw stars before his eyes for a few moments. He heard his old trainer Gracus once more screaming that a fighter on the ground may as well stay there and start digging. Scrambling back to his feet he presented his rods in a purely defensive stance, shaking his head to clear the cobwebs. His left-hand rod was presented high, across his chest and head to protect it. The right-hand rod was still low, from left hip to right ankle. He was outside the striking range of Vu’thari’s single rod but had learned never to take unnecessary risks in the middle of a fight.

Focusing on the pain, Prax kept his eyes on his opponent as he envisioned the pain as a stream. He built a wall in his mind and diverted that stream of pain, damming it up and causing it to go away. It was something he had learned from Gracus, suppress your pain until the fight was over. Pain was for the weak and the weak were dead. Prax blinked once and the pain was gone, it would return after the battle, but it had been suppressed for the moment. Prax could feel a small trickle of blood as it slowly dripped down the back of his neck and trailed along his shoulder towards his chest. Prax turned his body so that he was squared up on Vu’thari, his two rods started moving of their own volition as he probed his opponents defenses.

@Mithias

 

[Vuthari]

Anoat Jedi Shrine
Anoat

As soon as he sent Prax backwards, his senses were honed in on the young man’s emotional state. The twi’lek was searching for reactions and how the former slave was feeling. Welling up within him was anger. From the luck of it, he did not think it was directed at him…it was with himself. Combat was an area that the man felt at home in and took pride in…rightfully so. As he got to his feet, Vu’thari said softly, “Bring your anger down to a simmer. Do not let rage guide your hand. Focus. Control…”

Tilting his head sideways, the twi’lek realized he sent him to the ground much harder than he intended and by all rights the impact should cause a great deal of pain. There was no wincing as he stalked towards the Jedi.

Controlling the pain?

Flipping the rod around to his left hand and reaching out with his right, a second rod streaked through the air and landed in the Jedi’s hand. The Padawan and his teacher continued to spar the rest of the day with Vu’thari giving him multiple fighting styles and techniques common to Sith. By the end of the day, Vu’thari was sore all over. Prax was a veteran warrior and the twi’lek had the bruises to show it. It seemed Prax would fight all day if the twi’lek let him, but again, this trip was not all about fighting…

“That is all for today, Prax. My bones can’t take too much more of your pounding…”

A wry smile accompanied the comment. Looking over at this student, he asked, “At different points during the day, you showed some anger and frustration with yourself. As a Jedi, you are going to make mistakes…you are going to make mistakes in combat. The focus should never be on the mistake you made, but how you respond when the mistake is made. I am not saying I am going to teach you to not get frustrated with yourself—I can’t change that about you. However, how much of that anger and frustration resides in you when it happens is something I can help you with…”

Looking over at the rods against the wall as the pair took sips of water, Vu’thari remind him, “Do you remember back on Nar Shaddaa when I told you that you would be able to move things with your mind…”

Pointing over to a rod that was by itself, the Jedi said quietly, “I want you to bring that rod to your hand…with your mind. Reach out. Feel the Force strong in this place. Feel it flow through you. The weight of the item is not what will stop you—it is the belief that you cannot bring the rod to you…reach out, feel it. Feel the smoothness, the heft to it…once you have felt the weave of the Force, you will know that the rod is part of that weave and it is yours to command…”

@Critas

 

[Prax Dek]

Prax slumped to the training mat, a ball of sore muscles and sweat. The training session was good for him, he enjoyed the physicality of it and the focus. He felt more at home within the Force during physical exertion and almost reveled in it. He knew the fighting was not the point of the trip to this place, but it helped Prax become more comfortable in it. He was thankful for that and it showed on his face.

He listened to Vu’thari speak of mistakes and frustration, things that were daily struggles for Prax. There was no vanity to the struggle, just a will to succeed. That will had driven him in the pens, and it drove him now. The emotions themselves were a by product of that and he hoped to learn to drive them away or at least harness them. He looked over at the stack of rods against the wall as Vu’thari raised one with his mind and brought it to his hand. Prax knew this day would come and considered the rod as his teacher told him to bring the rod to him.

Prax closed his eyes and attempted to drive frustration and doubt from his mind. He considered what he had seen Vu’thari do and that helped him cement the function and feat in his own conscious. He opened his eyes and concentrated on the rods on the shelf. He imagined the feel of them in his hand and then pulled on the Force, creating a hand with his mind and gripping the rod with it. As simply as if he was raising it with his own hand, he lifted the rod across the room with his mind.

Eyes wide as saucers, Prax called the Force hand to him with its rod as trophy. It seemed like forever as the rod slowly crossed the room to hover in front of Prax. Reaching up with his flesh and blood hand, Prax took the rod and then released it with is imagined Force hand. Amazement still on his face, he turned and handed the rod to Vu’thari, much like a child seeking approval.



@Mithias

 

[Vuthari]

Anoat Jedi Shrine
Anoat

Vu’thari watched as Prax and felt the young man begin to harness his emotions, “Good Prax, clear your mind…”

The twi’lek watched as the man lifted the rod and brought it to his hand. A huge grin crossed the face of Vu’thari and he clasped the human’s shoulder in appreciation as he took the rod from Prax, “Well done, Padawan. Well done indeed!”

Walking over to the door, Vu’thari said quietly, “You have done well. We will spar some more tomorrow and work on how to open the gates of the Force into your body. When we are within the flow of the Force, your very body will feel light as a feather and you can bring physical enhancement to your movements. We will take a few more days to work on the physical aspects of these things. But during this time, I will also be testing your emotions. Harness them, control them—suppression of emotions can have…’side effects’.”

Prax Dek had come a long way in as short amount of time. Vu'thari mused over the mind shift that the young man had undergone from that night on the Nar Shaddaa ledge to now where there was confidence, hope and determination. The darkness still lingered just beneath the surface. It was not an intentional mindset, it was just a part of him that had festered after so many years being used as an assassin by the Sith and the Hutts. This was an area he would speak to Prax on soon, but not this trip. Such a conversation could derail all the trust and learning that was accomplished in Anoat.

With a smirk, Vu’thari added, “Oh and Prax, you have another lesson tonight…etiquette.”

The sound of the twi’lek chuckling was obviously due to the emotions and response that the statement caused for Prax, which enacted more fear in the young man than any combat drill they had done all trip…

THE END​

@Critas