The bottle is actually a bottle of Windex and (taking this from Dane Cook) you accidentley spray it when the nozzle is in between and I return as Windextor the Windex ghost! Then I trap you in the bottle and cliam the hill.
I tunnel up underneath the hill and plant extremely powerful explosives. After blowing the shit out of WK, I claim the remaining crater that was once the hill.
I set up a reality TV show revolving around the hill and the contestants trying to capture it. I make billions from the violence and buy the hill. i set up land mines around the perimeter that launch dog shit, ninjas in the perimeter and SAM's.
I rise up against the capitalist oppressors (Vanii), seizing the hill for my communist commune. 3 months later the commune's values have been compromised and I am sleeping in a soft bed with pigs.
I turn the pigs against you with promises of more food and they eat you. Afterwards a slaughter the pigs and proclaim the hill as mine whilst eating bacon.
French descent on my dad's side. Even my name is an anglicized French name: Langill (originally Langille, for some reason my family dropped the 'e' way back when. Probably trying to fit in in English-speaking Canada).