Revalda Petanus

CommisarJhon

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Revalda Petanus
uuK4DVb.png


NICKNAME: None (Yet)
FACTION: Jedi Knights
RANK: Jedi Knight
SPECIES: Human
AGE: 29 Standard Years
GENDER: Male
FORCE SENSITIVE: Yes, trained since a child

APPEARANCE:
Usually he has brown eye colour, however in rare occasions his right eye turn into red colour.
Has short dark brown hair
Has olive skin colour
Height: 1.89 meeters or 6 foot
Weight: 76 kilograms or 158 pounds
Has big scar in his back and small in his right arm.
Credits: 2000



ATTRIBUTES:


Strenght: Has decent strenght, able to defend against strenght based assault.

Dexterity: He has mediocre speed at best, sometimes being reliant on force to improve his speed. He also has questionable stamina.

Constitution: He trains and practices regulary. Hes also very tough. But he has difficulty breathing in arctic envoirment and suffers headache randomly.

Intelligence: Revalda is very intellegent man, quick learner and clever duelist.

Wisdom: He has good amount of wisdom, he loves studying alot and fixing complicated problems.

Charisma: Not exactly charismatic man, he dosent simply make friends quickly nor hes not really good negotiator. However hes still a guy who you can have a friendly conversation (usually).


Personality:
Revalda is calm, intelligent, patient person. And also is honest and loyal to his friends and comrades. However hes also arrogant and conflicted. His primary concern is always the safety and well-being of those he cares for.. He usually found either studying alot or training. He tries to avoid underestimating his opponent, due to underestimating resulting him being scared to his back. However, his arrogance may get better of him. Hes lately been questioning and lossing trust to Jedi Order, considering possiblity that order is more corrupt than people think it is.


Biography:
Revalda was born in one of the towns in Alderaan. When he was two year old, his house was being robbed, his father attempted to stop them, but it resutled in his death. However he and his mother were saved by jedi knight, who sensed force with this little boy. With permission from his mother, Revalda was send to Jedi Temple of Tython to be trained. One of the masters in the order started training Revalda when he started walking step by step.

When he was 14 he became Jedi Padawan to the jedi master who had trained him. When he turned 18 he showed great progression, however he became more arrogant because of that. He trained in lightsaber combat with same enjoyment as with the force. Two year s later he was given a title of Jedi Knight, he was given a standard jedi lightsaber.

When he was 23, he was send with two other Jedi Knigths to search for jedi master, who unexpectedly disappeared somewhere in Thyferra. After two days of search, they were ambushed by mercenaries, Revalda suffered scar in his back and right arm due to his over-confidence. Tough it was hard fought battle, all three jedi were alive and victorious, tough battered. However one of the knights found masters lightsaber from dead mercenary. It as concluded that jedi master was overwhelmed by mercenaries, but question was who paid mercenaries for this job? Tough Revalda wanted to continue mission, he was forced to withdraw due to his wounds. however, it was never discovered who and why did anyone wished Jedi master to die.

It was found out that Jedi Master had considered leaving the order due to many diffrent reasons, and that made Revalda ask question to himself: "Are we behind this... Murder? " He thought for minute, he has hard time thinking that the order itself mightve just killed the master... Why? Does master know something that we dont about the order? He was confused and even felt betrayed in someways... But again it couldve been easily done by the sith too... Due to losing his lightsaber in battle, he build new one.

Tough hes still loyal jedi knight in the order, he asks himself: Is he doing right thing?


Lightsaber/Sword Forms and Martial Arts:
As a intellegent jedi, he has proven to be worthy swordsman. His prefered lightsaber form is Niman, proven to be very good at it. He conisders himself to possibly be most skilled and dangerous user of Niman in Jedi Order. However, he hasnt mastered Niman and due ot his arrogance, hes not aware that theres many more duelists that have devoted to lightsaber combat. Hes also quiet decent at Jar'Kai, thanks to his studying of Niman. However, he dosen't use Jar'Kai often. He also has good skill with Shein, using both standard and reverse grip in battle. Tough it was made for blaster deflection, he uses it also in duel together with Niman. His final lightsaber form is Makashi. Tough not having as much skill in it as ohter two forms, hes shown to have decent skills with it. He mostly learned Makashi for dueling porposes, because he dosent want to become too reliant nor too predictable... Due to him studying alot, he knows other 4 lightsaber forms, however he dosent use any of them, its just for figuring out what his opponoment specialization is. His main way of defeating enemy is by disarming (weapon, arm, etc). In short, hes versatile and skilled combatant.

Niman/Form VI: His prefered form. Very good at it, tough hes hasnt mastered it.
Shien/Form V: Good skill with it. Knows both standard and reverse grip.
Jar'Kai: Decent at dual blades thanks to his training in Niman, however he dosen't use it often.
Makashi/Form II: Third and last form in his disposal. Has decent skill with it, tough less skill with it than other two forms.


Force Powers:

Revalda has proven to be powerful with the force, but also clever with it. His favorite force ability is Telekenisis. Hes uses force pushes and pulls often, hes known to throw objects at enemies and break opponents force barriers. Hes also known using ligthsaber throws. He has decent skill and power in force barrier, tough not very impressive. Hes decent at Tutaminis, able to deflect blaster fire (incase if hes disarmed) and even defend againt lighting. He also has good skill in force leap and force speed, but again not too impressive. Force sense is mediocre at best. He also knows how to use mind tricks, tough he dosent exaclty like using it.

Telekenisis: Powerful and skillful user of telekenisis. His favorite force power.
Force Barrier/Shield: Good skill and power in barrier, tough not very impressive.
Tutaminis: Quiet Decent at Tutaminis. Can defend against blaster fire and lighting.
Force Leap: Does quiet high leaps, tough its normal for jedi and sith.
Force Speed: Decent enough for him.
Force Sense: Mostly mediocre at it.
Mind Trick: Knows how to use it, tough dosent prefer using it.



Other Skills:

He has decent skill with acrobatics and good at repairing equipment. Tough he has... Erm... Questionable piloting skills. Hes also has average skill with hacking.

Repairing: Good at repairing equipment.
Acrobatics: Has decent skills with acrobatics, tough nothing unusal for force sensitive.

Piloting : He has mediocre skill with flying ship.

Hacking: Has average skill with hacking.

GEAR:

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He equipped with somewhat standard jedi lightsaber hilt that he created, with modifications like light resistance to lightsaber and blasters, Adjustable blade lenght (Standard lenght 1.45m - Long lenght 2m) and comfortable hilt. It also has low-power setting to avoid injuring sparring partners during practice. It uses standard purple kyber lightsaber crystal, creating purple blade.


Strenght and Weakness:
Revalda biggest strenght is, of course, his Intellegence and Wisdom. Using his clever tactics to out smart and out think his enemy. He has good skill with both lightsaber and the force. Hes also tough, able to take more damage before going down. He also dosent like underestimating his enemy, due to learning his mistake in Thyferra.

However he has his own problems too. His main disadvantage is mediocre speed and stamina. Tough he isnt helpless to speedy fighters, he usually gets flanked and out manouvered by his enemy. He also suffers health problems, biggest ones being headcache and breathing problem in arctic. Hes also over-reliant in the force in combat, since he needs it to improve his agility, but even that isnt enough badly for him. Hes also conflicted due to quiet a few events, so manipulation can be possibly effective. And tough he usually tries avoids underestimating enemy, his arrogance can get better of him.


BOUNTIES:

none

ROLE-PLAYS:

none

RELATIONSHIPS:
none

SHIP:

None, but takes Jedi fighters if needs it.

DROIDS:
none

PETS:
none

KILLS:
none

COMBAT:

none
 
Last edited:

Reya Starlyght

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There's quite a few spelling errors with this, the main this I see is that you are spelling 'though' 'tough'. Very different things.

Hurrikaine crystals aren't a thing this timeline, it would be a purple kyber crystal.

If you're going to put lightsaber forms, I would suggest having one at a pretty high level and one at a decent level instead of a bunch at decent levels. That's jaunt a suggestion however and doesn't need to be changed.

I would rather see a description of his Force abilities then just say 'adept' or 'novice'. We're playing a writing game here, not a stats game. This also goes for his skills.

Instead of simply listing his strengths and weaknesses, you might want to create a paragraph or two on them. They are pretty balanced, which is a good thing, although you might want to add one or two more weaknesses, as some of the ones you listed are pretty small.
 

CommisarJhon

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@Reya Starlyght

Alright, so i somewhat fixed spelling, corrected somethings like crystals, lowered amount of lightsaber forms to make things less complicated, added paragraph to Strenghts and Weaknesses, and of course somewhat balanced my characther (hopefully).

I consider writing about my characther tactics and usage of ligthsaber forms and force powers, but im worried that i will be little too restricted, so i will write about my characther tactics after i roleplayed a duel or fight. So yeeah hopefully my characther isnt too powerful. Would appriciate any suggestions on what weaknesses i should add and/or what skill i should lower in my characther (if hes too powerful).

Also hopefully i didnt mess up my grammar (again).
 

Reya Starlyght

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Looks a lot better. Your grammar is pretty good, but spell check is your friend, use it. There are sooooooo many spelling errors. For example, you spelled strength 'streght'.

However, I believe you did not change the thing I personally consider the most important. While you can use the whole adept thing, you should also write a description of it also. Different people have different definitions, of those words. Like for me, I consider novice barely being able to the skill.
 

Talon maara

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Looks a lot better. Your grammar is pretty good, but spell check is your friend, use it. There are sooooooo many spelling errors. For example, you spelled strength 'streght'.

However, I believe you did not change the thing I personally consider the most important. While you can use the whole adept thing, you should also write a description of it also. Different people have different definitions, of those words. Like for me, I consider novice barely being able to the skill.

Well the by definition of adept is
"very skilled or proficient at something."
And the synonyms for it are expert and master soooo really hes a "master of alot." Which for one doesnt leave any room for growth and improvement.
 

Reya Starlyght

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People don't know this though. This is easy to do, and the time spent arguing about this you could of already had it done. I'm literally asking for a sentence for each.

Edit: Man, I need to stop doing this. Sorry Talon, but still it's an easy fix.
 
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Commissar Brett

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Well considering he's writing "Adapt" and not "Adept", that's another thing that needs to be fixed. Do you have spell-check/grammar-check at all @CommisarJhon?
 

Raydo

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You guys have crossed over the line of being helpful and have moved right on into "being an asshole" territory. Be constructive and nitpick elsewhere.
 

Commissar Brett

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You guys have crossed over the line of being helpful and have moved right on into "being an asshole" territory. Be constructive and nitpick elsewhere.
I mean, if you're okay with reading it, that's fine I guess. Not everyone is though.
 

Reya Starlyght

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You guys have crossed over the line of being helpful and have moved right on into "being an asshole" territory. Be constructive and nitpick elsewhere.
Raydo, were you talking to me? I was adding the spelling stuff as a side note, not a main thing.
 

CommisarJhon

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Updated my character and (yet again) fixed spelling/grammar (hopefully).
 

Talon maara

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Ok i skimmed through it and noticed one part in particular and that being force powers. Hes a jedi, who dwells on peace and calmness. Yet he uses a few force powers that dwell in anger and emotions such as force choke amd crush? One who dittles in the darkside will slowly be corrupted. One cannot use both side freely and get away with it.
 

CommisarJhon

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@Talon maara
Well yes thats quiet true. I probably need to make tweaks here and there, but again Mace Windu didnt get corrupted by dark side, tough wasnt exactly 'calm' in combat.
 

CommisarJhon

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@Talon maara
Well after double checking 'Dark Side Corruption and You' i realized that having light and dark powers, and still be with Light side is... Erm... Unrealistic. *sigh* Guess i have to rebalance and fix more things in Revalda. Cant blame rules tho. Infact should double check all rules.
 

Talon maara

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@Talon maara
Well after double checking 'Dark Side Corruption and You' i realized that having light and dark powers, and still be with Light side is... Erm... Unrealistic. *sigh* Guess i have to rebalance and fix more things in Revalda. Cant blame rules tho. Infact should double check all rules.

I feel you. I did the same thing when i first started but got shut down by the admins at one point. And had to adjust the character to it. Its all good though no worries
 

Elijah Brockway

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I take it you might not be a native English speaker? Or any host of things, really; either way, the spelling errors have at least been reduced enough that the profile is legible. There's a few more things to go over, but it's not the worst I've seen. I appreciate your willingness to continue going through and trying to fix these as people point them out. Good on that.

I'm perfectly fine with him only really being good in two forms and just knowing a bit about a third that he can use, and having a general knowledge of the other four so he can recognize what people are doing (but if he knew how to use all seven forms, then I'd be like "lolno" but it looks like that's good, yay! making my job easier).

One of the things I dislike is the "he might possible be the most skilled and dangerous user of Niman in the whole Jedi Order." There's a ton of Jedi, including some actual PC characters, who are completely devoted to lightsaber combat. There's no way that'll be a thing. Now, if he wants to think that of himself, that's fine; arrogance is bad but it's not like people aren't arrogant all the time. But that's just a small edit I'd recommend adding in so as to avoid that horrible disease known as special snowflake syndrome.

Anyways, I like him. Nice profile.
 
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