Reasons

[Tasha Blackwell]

It was pouring rain, and she felt stupid. It had been a few more months since the shooting incident. She carried on her affairs, the whatever thing she had going with Constantine Drast. There were no attachments there, but it felt comfortable and provided with it luxuries she couldn’t attain otherwise. Then she had her visits with the Emperor, and she knew that was spiraling into places she couldn’t explain. Tasha kept herself distant from everything, and it was getting more and more difficult every day.

Why was she here then? She was completely soaked, so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t even notice the way the rain undid her hair and made it mat to her body. She didn’t care about her expensive dress completely soaked and potentially ruined. She didn’t care that her makeup wouldn’t look the best. She had simply arrived in a speeder and had started walking. She didn’t have a purpose or an idea, just a location and nothing more.

The rain felt nice on a hot summer day, and it distracted her from her thoughts of how ridiculous this was. Tasha felt like an idiot, and she had no idea what she was doing. She didn’t feel like the confident CEO she was, or even the powerful Sith that helped win back planets for the Empire. She had faced countless enemies in battle, and yet she had never felt more vulnerable before.

Her steps took her towards a specific apartment. Tasha knew where it was, and that was all that mattered. She walked with purposely steps, ignoring the curious glances people gave her way. Tasha kept going till she came across a door. She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, exhaling just as slow. Tasha knocked on the door. She would wait till the door opened to reveal those familiar eyes again.

“I don’t know what I’m doing here,” She would say flatly.

 

[Gillian Rel]

Days off were few and far between, just the way Gil liked it. He preferred staying busy as slowing down meant confronting some his own feeling he wasn't quite sure he wanted to. It had several months since Tasha had been attacked. Afterward, things had gone back to normal. Gil continued his work, only having the occasional contact with Tasha. He didn't avoid you, just like he didn't think she was avoiding him. They were both just busy, at least that's what he told himself.

He had thought about going over countless of times, but in the end, he always talked himself out it. Why open a book that had already been open, he had laid himself out, rolled the dice and it just didn't pan out. Gil accepted that, though he had still be hurt somewhat by the whole thing. That was probably mostly his fault, he had sprung things on her. Maybe he ruined it. He was good at so many things, and yet he felt so lost when it came to this.

Gil had forced himself to move on, he had bought and moved into a new flat, much nicer than anything he had ever lived in before. Large windows looking out over the city, today only revealing the gloomy afternoon storm. He lounged on his couch, a pile of clean laundry sitting beside him. He had intentions to eventually take care of it but had found himself dozing in and out instead.

A knock at the door pulled him from a light sleep. The image from the security camera automatically displayed who the visitor was. Gil stared at the screen for a moment but standing and walking to the door. He was wearing athletic pants and gray long sleeve shirt with the sleeves rolled up, he had also had intentions of going to the gym but like the laundry, it had fallen by the wayside. It was a much more casual look than Gil normally wore but it was fitting for a day like today.

He opened the door. "Tasha," he said quietly, green eyes scanning her as she stood in front of the door. "You're soaking wet," he said motioning for her to come inside. "Come in already," he said closing the door behind her. His mind raced with why she had come here, something must have been wrong. His mind raced thoughts but he slowed himself. "Is everything okay?" he said pulling a towel out of a closet and handing it to her to dry off.

 

[Tasha Blackwell]

She hadn’t thought this through. As soon as the words spilled from her lips, she thought about turning around and walking away. Tasha could tell he had been sleeping, though he was making a valiant effort at coming into attention. She realized how absurd it was for her to show up like this. For all she knew, he could have had….some late night guest over. That was how she operated every now and then.

Tasha yanked her mind back to the present, realizing she was staring at him like a bantha in the speeder lights. She opened and closed her mouth a few times before just walking in. She took in sight of his place, marveling at how he actually decided to take care of himself and apply some of the wealth he possessed.

She entirely ignored the offer of the towel, her gaze meeting his. Tasha looked completely uncomfortable and actually slightly terrified. It wasn’t a common look she wore, and it would no doubt throw him for a loop. Tasha’s mind was racing, her heart pounding against her chest. She was shivering, her teeth chattering slightly as the cool air conditioning touched her wet skin.

“I….” She fumbled over her words, another out of character trait for her, “I don’t know if everything is all right,” Tasha managed to choke out, “I don’t know if it has been...since that day on the bridge. Or maybe even before that. I don’t know…” She was struggling to get the words out. How had he done it so easily?

Tasha didn’t break her gaze from his despite her struggles. In the end, she simply stopped talking. She took a few steps forth and closed the distance between them. She didn’t care that she was soaking wet. Tasha wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a tight embrace, burying her face into his chest. For all their time together, she hadn't realized how much she savored this feeling. She sank into his warmth, finding a sanctuary she hadn't known she had been missing, “Don’t ask me questions. Don’t ask me to explain. This scares me,” She was almost trembling, “This has always scared me. But I can’t keep ignoring it.”

 

[Gillian Rel]

Tasha was a fairly intimidating person, but Gil had long grown used to the woman, no longer bothered by her off-handed, even cold approach to the world. That was just who she was.

This was something altogether different, as she stood in the hallway, water dripping from her stark red hair she looked...different. She just stood there, looking like she was about to speak but offering no words, no jabs, nothing. It scared him. He looked up and down the hall as she stepped inside before he closed the door.

He offered her the towel and she stood there in the foyer of his apartment, frozen. She stared blankly at him, obviously freezing. Gil was really scared, something wasn't right. His muscles told him to move as his heart pounded in his chest but he stood still, eyes filled with concern locked on hers.

For a moment, the only sound was the sound of rain hitting the window outside, the occasional gentle rolling of thunder, and the constant dripping of water off of Tasha. Normally he would have joked about how she was getting water everywhere, but things still felt so wrong. She finally spoke, breaking the silence but her words not offering much in the ways of an explanation, in fact, they only added more questions.

She finally took several steps forwards and pulled herself towards him. Gil reacted without thinking, pulling her against him. He felt her shiver slightly, cold body pressed up against his. She told him not to ask questions, of which he had plenty but he held them in. He brought a hand up to softly hold the side of her face as she leaned against his chest. Water soaked through his clothes but found himself not caring in the slightest. His only thoughts were for her, what had happened, what was happening. As she spoke again, he found himself only holding her tighter. "No Questions." he agreed.

He felt the urge to care for her, but he resisted the urge for the moment and simply held her as he rocked slightly.

 

[Tasha Blackwell]

Tasha didn’t want to go anywhere else. She focused only on the warmth of his clothing, the comfort she felt in his arms, and the heartbeats she could hear. Tasha had been here with countless men before, and yet this shook her to her core. This was uncharted waters, and she had no control over any of it. Tasha had built her life around control. She always followed her own agenda, always her own rules. She had turned her back on the Empire, she had left behind the Lusty Lekku. She did things on her own terms.

All of that went out the window now.

Tasha wasn’t in any sort of control. She finally admitted to herself that she never was around him. Not even that day when she had been taken away and he had chased after her like a fool to rescue her. Their paths had always been entwined somehow, and they always found one another. At some point those little quips and bickering began to mean something. She didn’t understand it, but she knew she wanted more of it.

He remained silent, respecting her requests for no questions. He held her tighter, and she further buried into him, closing her eyes. Tasha took in the scent of him, feeling as if she were standing by the hearth of a fire from being in his arms. Tasha said nothing for a long moment, and she was sure he was still convinced that something bad had happened to elicit such a response from her.

After what felt like an eternity, Tasha finally pulled back slightly, her yellow eyes gazing into those piercing green ones, only inches apart. She felt his warm touch against her face, marveling at how much more meaning every subtle touch of his had, “I want you, Gil..” She said at last, “I want you in ways I was taught not to want. I want you in ways that will make me weak and vulnerable. I want you in ways I can’t take back,” Tasha couldn’t believe she was saying any of this. This was not like her one bit, and this time there were no drugs or alcohol in her system, “...I want you in ways I never thought I could ever want someone,” She said softly, still shivering slightly.

 

[Gillian Rel]

He wasn't exactly sure how long they stood there, his thoughts ran faster and faster until all it just kind of blurred together in one instance. Time seemed to slow and then stop altogether. In the instant, he found something he had scoured the Galaxy for years to find, purpose.

When she finally pulled away, he found himself still clinging to her. He had been lost in that endless yellow gaze before and each time it had taken his breath away, tonight was no different. She finally spoke and his mind could barely comprehend the words. Part of him thought he must still be asleep on the couch. He had expected something terrible, and the contrast of her words and his expectations threw him into a bit of a shock.

He found a hand reaching to touch her face. He looked down at her, hair matted together, some of it falling in front of her face, once perfectly applied makeup running down her face. She was perfect, in every single way.

He was speechless, or maybe he was just too afraid to say anything so he didn't. Brushing away a soaked strand of hair, he leaned down and kissed her softly for a long moment before pulling back a hair's breadth "I have long since been yours." he said. He had given her his heart that night on the boardwalk, even if she chose not to do anything with it. Gil didn't care, he had made his choice. He leaned his forehead against hers, hands moving to rest on her waist.

 

[Tasha Blackwell]

It was effortless once the words came out. She realized how he had managed it on the bridge, and she realized how devastating it was for her not to say anything back. She felt anxiety after she said her part, her mind bursting into a million scenarios that involved him turning away from her. But he never did. He never broke their gaze, and he said nothing in return.

Tasha didn’t stop him as he leaned in to kiss her, pushing them through that last hurdle. She closed her eyes, leaning into him and deepening the kiss. Her face was wet from the rain, but she could only focus on his tender lips and the waves the simple gesture sent through her body. She reluctantly pulled back when he did, though he was still so close. His words made her heartbeats quicken, and she was embarrassed he could hear it with those ears.

Like him, she had nothing to say, and she slid her hand up to curl into his hair, pulling him in for another kiss. Tasha crossed all sorts of lines, and she pushed aside all the concerns and yelling in her mind. There was no going back from this, and this would permanently change things. She had been terrified of it that day on the bridge, but she wouldn’t hold herself back this time.

Tasha pulled back for a moment, her eyes as piercing as ever. There was desire there, but not the teasing look she gave when she performed - when she didn’t care about anything but the cash her customers had. This was a different kind of desire entirely, and it ran deep within her. It was entwined with emotion, and it came from every fiber of her being.

She drew her hands back from him and brought them up to her shoulders, sliding down the short sleeves of her dress. Her eyes remained locked with his the entire time, the dress slipping down her torso as if it were an errant thing in the way. Tasha couldn’t help but smile sheepishly at him as it dropped finally to her feet, “I suppose it’s nothing you haven’t seen before…”

 

[Gillian Rel]

As she pulled him down into another kiss, he let himself feel the hunger for her that had always been present but he had always denied himself. He could feel the pounding in her chest, a rhythm that was mirrored by his own as they passionately kissed. Fingers lightly dug into her back as he pulled her close.

As they gazed into one another's eyes, Gil saw her emotions there in the shifting sea of gold. She had always been so guarded, so walled off to him, but now she let him passed that barrier.

She took a step back, Gil's body protesting at the distance even if it was only a handful of inches. With a simple motion, her water soaked dress fell to the floor. He couldn't help but smile at the comment. While it was true he had seen her before, but he felt like he was seeing her for the first time. A beauty that went far beyond her perfect skin, or the curves of her body. He saw her, the person she behind the dancer, the fighter, the CEO, just her.

No words could describe the tidal wave of feelings he felt for her at the moment. They consumed him entirely. The distance between them an unbearable chasm that he quickly closed. They would bump into the wall of the tight hallway, having not made it further into the apartment. His fingers glided along soft skin before holding her tightly again. He kissed her again, this time with growing intensity. He surrendered himself to those feelings he had long kept caged away, surrendered himself to her.

 

[Tasha Blackwell]

They ended up on his bed at some point, and she probably fell asleep. She had been here with him before, but it had been with a severe hangover atop Cait’s desk at the Lusty Lekku. This time it felt as if it were two entirely different people. He was a different man, and she was a different woman. More than anything, she was Tasha and not Sapphire. She didn’t use him and he didn’t use her. It wasn’t a fling of the moment, but it was a testament to the feelings that she at least had denied herself for a long time.

There was nothing but silence for a while, the storms still raging outside. It was almost soothing to hear, though her hair was still slightly damp. Tasha tilted her head to look at him, not following her usual routine of leaving after her business was done. She wanted to linger and find excuses to delay. Tasha turned to face him, her stark yellow eyes gazing into his. Her hand came up as her fingers brushed away a few strands of his hair. For a moment she said nothing, her touch almost uncharacteristically gentle. She wasn’t afraid to show this side of herself, and she no longer wanted to deny herself something she had wanted so much.

“You were right,” She said after a moment, her voice quiet, “I do have the same powers Cait once did. I was once a Sith. I left the empire when I left the Lekku,” Tasha didn’t know why she was saying this. It was probably going to ruin the moment, but she didn’t want to keep anything from him. Not when she crossed past so many boundaries already.

“I’m not that person anymore,” Tasha said with a sigh, “And I’ll understand if that’s a hurdle you can’t get past,” She moved back from him, rolling onto her back to gaze at the ceiling, “I was always proud of that fact....until I was afraid of you finding out because I thought you would walk away from me for good.”

@Raydo

 

[Gillian Rel]

It was the middle of the night now, everything quiet except for the sounds of the storm outside. Occasionally the room would flicker slightly with lightning. He dosed in and out sleep, half expecting her to be gone each time he was pulled from sleep but she was there, the sound of breathing one of the most comforting things he had ever experienced.

He rolled over on his side, facing her with a content sigh. Her yellow eyes reflecting softly the lights of the storm outside. He felt like he could live the rest of days of his days her if she would let him. For the first time in his life, he felt...whole.

A slight look of confusion crawled across his face as she said he was right. He tried to remember what she was talking about. He tensed slightly as she explained further. He had guessed that several months ago and she hadn't denied it then, after that he had pieced together all of his experiences with her, it made sense. It explained all of the odd occurrences, the source of her skill.

She rolled onto her back and he stared are for a minute, silent as he thought about her words, thought about the implications. She could have warned him what Cait was, what he had been walking into. The night Cait attacked him, she had shown him things the Force, terrifying things. It still haunted it. Was Tasha the same? Would she go mad? Turn on him at the drop of hat? Did he care?

He sat up, putting his back up against the headboard of the bed. "Why did you leave?" he asked quietly.

@Sreeya

 

[Tasha Blackwell]

She could feel him tense up, and it bothered her. Tasha was convinced this would push him away, and she mentally prepared for it. This was exactly why she had always kept her distance. Attachments had their way of knifing you in the back. For now, she didn’t move, still lying there staring at the ceiling. The lightning lit up the room now and then, her vivid eyes glowing almost seemingly on their own. Silence hung for a moment, and she knew a million thoughts were going through his mind. When he finally spoke, she was surprised. It didn’t have any hate or outburst, but it was a simple question that she had never given much thought to.

Tasha was quiet for a long moment, and there was nothing but the sound of a storm. At last, she sighed, running a hand through her hair, “Because I wasn’t following my own agenda. I was executing on the vision someone else had. The Dark Side began to consume me and I was turning into someone I didn’t recognize anymore,” She paused for a moment, “I….also didn’t want to become a liability to the Emperor,” Tasha tilted her head to look at him, “He may be in love with me,” She muttered quietly. She didn’t think Gil would believe that, and she didn’t care. Tasha was practicing honesty with him, and she would do that regardless of his reactions.

“Cait was something you had to discover on your own,” Tasha said finally. She knew his mind would have gone there, it was only logical. Tasha had known about her from the day they had met, and she had said nothing the entire time. Gil was there when another Sith was butchered by a Mandalorian in the Lekku – one of her own kind. Tasha had to learn to always look out for herself, “We all arrive to conclusions on our own time. It took me this long to get to this one,” She reached a hand out to grasp his. It was gentle, almost nervously as she expected him to pull away. However, she found herself craving his touch in a way she hadn’t wanted any man. For a woman in her previous line of profession, these were entire elements she wasn’t used to.

“Does this change how you feel?”

 

[Gillian Rel]

Lightning streaked across the sky, illuminating his face. He found himself, concerned but not afraid. He thought hard about her words. She had left, knowing that she was being changed, but so had Cait, and yet she had gone back. She drew back into the web, that's what drove her mad. Gil had to believe that, it hurt too much to think he had simply just missed the monster she was. Was he making the same mistake now?

All of that was wiped away when she mentioned the Emperor. Gil was not the jealous type, it just had never been an issue but he found himself in a surge of jealousy and self-doubt. How could he compare with that, the leader of half the Galaxy? He knew next to nothing about the Sith Emperor, always living outside of Sith Rule. Even when they had occupied Nar Shaddaa, it was mostly in name only. Did she love him? Did that change anything? He had spent the last months, being here, with really no hope of this progressing anywhere, he had chosen to stay regardless but that was before...

He let out a breath. This was a lot to take in. His world had been turned upside down in the last hours. His mind raced too fast for him to process everything. He nodded when she explained why she hadn't told him about Cait. "I knew what she was, well...I thought I did. I doubt I would have listened to you anyways. he said truthfully. He thought he could save her, up until the end, until it was too late.

Through the darkness, he felt her hand reach for his. His hand met hers, fingers intertwining with one another. Tasha certainly did not give off the impression she was much for handholding. Given everything the two had been through, it was a profoundly intimate moment. He let himself be carried away by a torrent of thoughts, gently stroking the soft skin of her hand with his thumb.

He glanced down at her as she asked if it had changed anything. He thought about it, truly thought about it. He had always worn his emotions on his sleeve, in this way he was the opposite of Tasha. "You're here now." he said lifting her hand to his mouth and gently kissing it. "That's all that matters to me. Everything else..." he blowing out a gentle sigh "Well, we'll deal with it as it comes along." he said. He still felt that pang of insecurity, to having something so new to him be threatened hurt but he knew that was his own demon to deal with, not Tasha's

"Sound good?" he asked looking down at her again.

 

[Tasha Blackwell]

She could feel him tense up as she mentioned the Emperor, and that surprised her. Tasha hadn’t expected him to believe her at all. The Emperor was the most powerful man in the galaxy, and it was hard to believe that he was in love with Tasha. However, in all the time she had gotten to know Varyn and all the intimate moments she had shared with him, she knew he wanted more from her than she could offer. Her thoughts were with Gil, a simple man that wasn’t some super huge important figure in the galaxy. It was almost poetic.

When he brought her hand up to kiss it, she looked over, marveling at the tender gesture. The storms kept going, giving no regard to the concerns of insignificant beings like Tasha and Gil. When he spoke, she couldn’t help but smile. She hadn’t missed that surge of emotions in him when she mentioned the Emperor’s feelings. Tasha wouldn’t call him out on it, but it did remind her it was a dilemma to deal with.

“I am here,” Tasha finally answered, “Because it’s the only place I want to be,” She looked at him. She smiled sheepishly at him, “I’m….not very good at this, Gil. I can’t just say things on my mind easily like you can,” Tasha thought back to that moment on the bridge, “I just know I can’t imagine you not being in my life. I can’t imagine not bickering with you or calling you monkey lizard,” She chuckled softly.

Tasha met his gaze in the darkness, thinking back to his words on the bridge, “You…you have my heart, Gil. Please don’t destroy it,” It took every ounce of her being to admit that, “I was taught never to let my guard down. I’m putting myself in the most vulnerable spot I’ve ever been in. It’s terrifying to me.”

 

[Gillian Rel]

His mind drifted, pulled in a thousand directions by her words. His emotions ran the gambit from ecstatic to terrified.

Her words, quiet in the night, pulled him back. Tasha had always been one of the strongest persons he had known. She seemed to roll over everything in life the sheer force of will, that strength was still there, but there was something else as well. There was a fragileness that Gil had never seen in her before. "That's just because you are smarter than me, speaking my mind gets me in to trouble more times than not," he said with a quiet laugh.

He smiled, looking ahead as mentioned their near-constant bickering. "Yeah, well you're still a pain in the ass," he said in response to being called a monkey lizard. Those exchanges had become some of Gil's most prized memories. Their laughter faded back into the comfortable quiet of the night.

There was no need to rush their conversation, Gil was completely satisfied by the sound of slow breathing, the cool feeling of her hand in his. He looked down at her; he couldn't believe there had once been a time where that gaze had unnerved him. He let her speak, knowing that it took a large amount of will for her to admit to being weak to anything.

He leaned over her, hands on either side of her shoulders. "I would never do anything to knowingly hurt you," he said, trying to reassure her. He meant it, at that moment, he was sure he would sacrifice anything, pay whatever cost for her. "This is new for both of us; it'll just take some time. We'll figure it out together, we have always been an unstoppable team," he added, smiling down at her.

 

[Tasha Blackwell]

Tasha gazed up at him as he leaned above her. She couldn’t help but smile, “I hope you enjoyed that, because that’s about as mushy I can get with words,” Her heart was still rapidly beating, and she felt uncomfortable from opening up so much. He would know her well enough to know that this was far out from what she knew or ventured into.

“If someone had told me I’d be here a few years ago..” She gave him a teasing grin. Tasha reached a hand up to grasp him by the back of his head, pulling him down to kiss him. She couldn’t get enough of him now, and it all felt strangely liberating. She had learned the Sith Code for as long as she could remember, and it always talked about being set free and liberated. It wasn’t the Force that set her free, it was this moment. It was the sound of the rain, it was the taste of his lips, it was the warmth of his skin against hers. It took her far away from everything that weighed on her.

Tasha leaned up towards him, moving so she shifted around and moved atop him. She pulled back from kissing him, her piercing eyes gazing down at him as her hands rested on his shoulders. Tasha’s fiery red hair hung in a mess around her shoulders, the storm outside occasionally lighting up her sapphire skin, “Do you really still think you won’t make anything of yourself?” Tasha didn’t know what prompted the question, or why she felt the need to ask it here while they were both nude with her on him. The words had nagged at her since he uttered them back at the hospital.

“Did everything die for you with the Lekku? That’s not something we can figure out together?”

 

[Gillian Rel]

He let himself be pulled down, losing himself in her for a brief moment before pulling back. "Honestly, it made me a little sick to my stomach anyway." he joked with a quiet laugh. He knew how hard it was to open herself up. There was no need to push her to say more; her words had been enough. He almost vibrated with joy to be here with her. It wasn't words he was after; it was her.

He laughed at her comment. A few years ago he lived in a junky single room apartment on Nar Shaddaa. He was little more than a low-level thug. They indeed were different people, but in a lot of ways, they were still the same.

He rolled with her, a practiced move on her part. He leaned back onto the pillow as she sat on top of him. His hands rested on her thighs as he looked up at her, face haloed by a tangled sea of red hair. Light from outside, danced across her skin, her eyes holding that same ever-present glow.

Gil was caught off guard by her next question. He had let slip his secret worry the day she had awoken in the hospital but hadn't expected it to come up again. He thought for a moment, not looking away from her. "I don't think I could be the same man I was trying to be on Nar Shaddaa." he finally said. "So in that sense, I guess things did die for me when it all fell apart." he said, shifting slightly underneath her.

"I don't know what that means for me, though." he admitted. "That life was the only thing I had known since I was a kid. It was all about getting the most amount of credits, the most amount of power." he said pausing for a moment before adding "I don't think I care about those things anymore.." he said. He didn't have things figured out, had no definite answer to give her. He wouldn't lie to her, not sure he could even if he wanted to. It wasn't like he was starting over from zero again either. Many things had ended when he left Nar Shaddaa, but many things had been born then as well.

"Guess I don't have all of that figured out yet." he said with a shrug.

 

[Tasha Blackwell]

Tasha watched him as he spoke, noting the way his own eyes lit up vividly with every streak of lightning outside. How had she not noticed these subtle details before? Affections were a very strange thing, and she was still trying to understand the dynamic shift between them. Every faint touch from him sent jolts through her, and the simple brush of his fingers along her thighs sent waves coursing up her spine. Her mind, however, quickly pulled back to the conversation at hand.

His words held true even for her. Could she ever go back to being who she was before? She tried to juggle a dual life where she had Mandalorian customers, while also trying to hide that she was their sworn enemy. Tasha had led troops and reclaimed planets for the Sith empire, and then she had danced and performed in front of a crowd. It had gotten to be too much for her to handle, and she didn’t even recognize that girl anymore.

“What do you care about then?” She eyed him curiously, “There’s a fire in you when you’re driven by something. I haven’t seen it in a while,” Tasha wasn’t sure why it even mattered. She told herself it was all part of this new caring routine she was trying, “I guess want to see that in you again. You’ve always been happiest when you make something of yourself,” Tasha grimaced, “And uh… I suppose now I care if you’re happy and stuff,” She looked disgusted at even saying the words, though it was followed up with a smile.

 

[Gillian Rel]

He was sure he had never been this comfortable with anyone before in his life. While he was not as closed off as Tasha was to those around him, he was still cautious who he let near. The times he had let himself grow close to someone it had ended in disaster. A smarter man might have been more cautious, but he knew he would risk anything, pay whatever price to have this moment.

Her questions were not easy ones, questions he wasn't sure he could fully answer. He listened until she was finished, finding her stammering as she struggled to share emotions endearing. It was adorable to see who not be perfect in something.

He sat up, holding her as he smiled widely. His hands slid across her bare back. "You're going soft on me, Blackwell." He said kissing her lightly. He took her words to heart. "Last time we talked, you said I should find a simple girl and settle down and have kids. What happened to that advice?" He asked teasingly. She was worried about his happiness, but she had already made him happier than he had ever been.

He would wait a moment "What about you? Do you want to be an arms dealer for the rest of your life?" He asked. "Is that what drives you? He asked, studying her expression.

 

[Tasha Blackwell]

Tasha scowled at him as he mentioned her getting soft. Before she could protest, he had cut her off with a kiss. Since she enjoyed these so much, she gave into it and her line of complaints fizzled away. She scoffed at his words about settling down, “Oh that was the painkillers talking,” Tasha grinned, “A woman would have to be completely crazy to settle down with you and pop out your monkey lizard kids,” She couldn’t help but imagine how he must have looked as a child with those oversized ears that were probably even more disproportionate to a small head.

She stared at him for a moment, sliding her hand up from his shoulder to the side of his face. His question gave her slight pause, and she stared off past him thinking about it, “Until recently I didn’t even know I wanted to be an arms dealer,” Tasha said at last, her fingers idly gliding over his skin, “I only knew life as a small time gang member when I was little, and then I only knew life as a Sith after that,” She shrugged, “I make it up as I go. So far it’s worked out,” Tasha smiled at him.

Everything seemed surreal and so far from where she started. Tasha leaned in to nuzzle her face against the crook of his neck, the gesture surprisingly tender coming from her. She burrowed into his warmth, and it was a very different side to the sultry and sensual persona she always projected. Tasha only saw these things in movies, but she had never taken the time to really enjoy it herself.

“Can I...stay here tonight?” She murmured softly against his skin. Funnily this concept was very different for her. Usually she left within hours or found it an inconvenience to stay the night. Now she wanted nothing more than to fall asleep right here and let the storms lull her away while she felt his warmth.

 

[Gillian Rel]

His expression grew thoughtful for a brief second at her joke. Deep down, he wanted children, to give them a better life than his low life parents had after they had abandoned him. It wasn't something he would admit to Tasha, not now at least. It would likely just be one more thing she could endlessly tease him about.

"It has worked out quite well for you." He said with a smile. Of course, she had almost been killed already, and if she was going to continue to grow the company they would make even more enemies. He was worried about her. They had done everything right at the press conference and still, he had almost lost her. As she buried her face into his neck, he felt a primal need to protect this woman, to protect whatever this was or could be, even if he knew she didn't need him for protection he wanted to.

The seconds ticked by like the raindrops sliding down the window outside, he let himself get lost in the steady rhythm of her heart as he held her. When she spoke, breath against his skin it sent icy chills down his back as the hairs on the back of neck stood straight.

"Yeah." He said quietly "I would like that." He finished as he lower himself back down onto the bed. The Galaxy felt right at the moment. Pieces clicking together to make all of his problems seemingly insignificant compared to this moment here with Tasha.

As the storm raged outside, he was pulled into sleep, lulled by the quiet rhythmic breathing of the woman he held.

/END