Path to Enlightenment

[Gambler]

"I-I consider myself above no one. I don't even know who I am. Everything in life is a shield. Everything. I don't care if someone is stronger than me. I don't care if they are weaker. I just need to become a Jedi. You don't understand--heh, I don't even understand--but I have to. Something unresolved. Something unsettled. I need to become a Jedi. I need to know who I was and what happened to me. Do you understand this urge? Do you truly know what I mean? Have you ever lost everything you held dear? Have you ever felt like you are on the right path but are haunted by memories you can't even make out? Everything I was was stripped away from me. What would you do in my shoes? Put up a shield to protect yourself from those who prey on the weak or submit to their biased judgement and receive suffering and pain for something you don't have any idea what it was. Can you truly understand this? Understand me? Do you truly know who I am and why I do what I do?" Ash asked in a pained whisper. His hollow words were accompanied by a look of true pain and a pale, haunted cast tainted his skin.

 

[Flame]

Anaru put a comforting hand on Ash.

"I understand your plight more so than many. My true parents were brutally murdered and for a long time I did not know that I was adopted. When my parents revealed that to me, it angered me beyond recognition. I was lost, just as you are now Ash. I can empathize with you even though my "parents" were rich. I've read your history and it is sad, and it spurns me onward to stand for justice and truth, and not to give into arrogance and spite. Let the force guide you and not your emotions."

 

[Gambler]

For a few moments Ash merely sat there. --What could it hurt?-- He thought, deciding to listen to his master for the first time. "Very well. I will heed your advice. And... thank you for accepting me. Maybe I was fated to come here if only to realize that the path I was on was wrong. That I am not as good as I might have once been. That there is nothing left of whatever my old life used to be. A fresh beginning. New. What is it you will teach me first... master?"

 

[Flame]

Anaru's mood immediately lighted up. They were making progess, and his padawan was willing to get past his old life, this was good.

"You're welcome Ash. I am always willing to star new with anyone, for my master was willing to start new with me and show me grace. Since you are very different than the majority of my students, I will teach you how to resist the dark side. I will start off by reading a quote from this book and I want you to refute the ideas coming out of it."

Anaru grabbed a book from one of his many shelves based on rogue jedi teachings and beliefs, and he flipped to chapter 1 and began to read out loud.

"Emotions are strength. Without them you will never amount to anything. Use your anger for your benefit and it will reward. You become stronger by using it. How would you respond to that using the jedi's teaching Ash?"

 

[Gambler]

Ash spoke in a clear, crisp tone, pushing his dark warparound sunglasses back over his stomry eyes. "If I were to rejoinder that statement using a monologue of the Jedi I would merely state that anger clouds one's judgment and disrupts the flow of dicipline which is what the Jedi teachings themselves revolve around. If one was to give in to hatred and anger they would be nothing more then an animal; a slave to their own power. At first it would be self gratifying acts which rapidly turn into blatant acts of murder and worse. And all under some excuse or another. What happens when those excuses run out?"

"However, there is a simple truth in those words. Emotions are the key to humanity. Without them you might as well be a droid or some hunk of useless metal. Kindess, acts of compassion and moral dispossition are all based on emotions. Serenity is an emotional state. It is true that you amount to nothing without emotions. But it is that thin line between moderation, aesthetic and extreme that causes those who tread it a degree of fear." Ash spoke calmly, his gaze shifting down to look at his master. Slowly he crossed his arms over his chest. A satisfied smirk at the edge of his lips.

He continued in an equally calm yet oddly condecending tone. "What truth do you expect to find in books or teachings? Reading gives you knowledge, but survival and the employment of your talents rely on understanding. Understanding is gained through action. A padawan's judgement is clouded with jealousy and scorn, but is a Master's judgement so free of bias? When you look upon an event, do you not shake your head and mutter 'evil' without seeing what really went on? I could strike you down now and get exiled for falling to the darkside. But would I have fallen? One action that could have had a deeper purpose behind it?"

"Tell me, would you stain your hands with evil to destroy evil? Or would you hold on to good and pacifism to the very end? Either way, evil still remains. A simple truth of history and the galaxy is that a man's actions might be judged in the beginnibg, but no one argues with the end result. Never. History is written by the victors, not the losers." His words resounded oddly before an eerie calm settled. Ash tapped his foot softly as he waited for a reply. His hands and fists had clenched and waved about in his short rant to emphasize points or powerful words.

 

[Flame]

"From my experience Ash emotions take you nowhere. Emotions only cloud your judgement and bring rifts between you and the force. Emotions bring you in contact with the dark side of the force which leads to despair, destruction, and sadness. Evil, is determined by who is preventing the greater good. The dark jedi, the alsakans, and their confederates are preventing the greater good today in the world. A republic helps flourish people to the greatest extent possible.

We all have our own biases, however each of us choose to react to situations differently because of them. Some of us are dominated by our biases. Others..... chose to look at an event or war from every angle possible. I try to advocate and do the latter Ash. History is written by those who win, I agree with you. However, in that story are facts.

We can look at any war and see that is the case. So as to whether or not you would truly "fall to the dark side" by striking me down here and now, is not for me to say. It is determined by your own thoughts and actions. Not even the jedi council or grandmaster Dewbecca himself can truly determine when a person has fallen to the darkside. Remember, the wisest man in the world is still very ignorant.

We read so that we may know and learn. If we do not know how our enemies think they will envelop us and destroy us. We read so we can know their teachings and philosophies. If we don't know their core beliefs they will come to us as an assassin in the night."

 

[Gambler]

"This much I understand, Master Anaru. But what you seem to lack is the knowledge of how you use emotions. You prove that you use emotions by your words right now. Every time you speak you speak from the heart, using your passions and conviction to pass unto others what you already know. Do you not see what you are doing? If you were to cleanse yourself of emotions then you would cleanse yourself of humanity. These are not thoughts of evil or darkness, but rather the words of a man who has lived a life where these things mattered. A life I hold no memory of." Archeron said with a wry shake of his head. His dyed black hair with the blood red streak swayed as he shook his head to relieve a slight pain that crept up to his temples.

"...Forgive me, Master Anaru. Sometimes I have the feeling that something of what I used to be comes to the surface in a way that I can't control. It is like I have been given a new personality from experience that differs drastically from my original self. As such it pains my mind to take in the thought patterns of both. This I have figured out, but I have no knowledge of. If I seem different one moment to the next then know that it might not be the same me that you know that is speaking or fighting. Forgive me if this is confusing. It is only the way I have to live." He all but sighed forlornly, his eyes downcast ever so slightly.

 

[Flame]

"Be careful not to misread my words Ash. I did not say that you should be void of emotion. No, I suggested that you ought to be more detached than attached to your emotions. As long as you do not let your emotions make and shape you, you will be an excellent jedi. I believe in you that one day you will make a difference.

Do not give up trying to find out who you were before you lost recognition. Instead, embrace it and find out who you were. Just be careful not to become obsessed. Now, let us begin with some regular hardcore training. I want you to fill out this chart of planets and tell me everything that you know about other planets. This is a boring exercise Ash, but I assure you that it will improve your knowledge, depth, and understanding of other planets that will be crucial to your survival as a jedi."

 

[Gambler]

Ash laughed a clear, solid laugh. "I know only of three planets: Zolan the planet I was discovered on, Corusant, the first place I journeyed to before coming here, and Ossus itself. I may have known more, but all I know now are the geography of said planet. Personally, I do not believe in handing out work for the sake of work itself. I'm a more hands on kind of guy." He continued in his slightly hollow laugh. He refused the datapad and recoreder when Anaru proffered it to him with his words.

 

[Flame]

"Have it your way. Your loss." Anaru shrugged and deposited the datapad into his backpack. O.K. Since you refuse to do simple work, I assume that we can move onto the hard work. Follow me." Anaru said as he walked out of the room and headed for a bigger room while waiting for his apprentice to catch up.

 

[Gambler]

"Ooh, the hard work. Finally, we get to move on to something fun," Ash sighed as he followed Anaru with long, graceful strides. He caught up quite quickly and stood at Anaru's shoulder-well more like the other way around-as he was led to a different room. Patiently Ash remarked. "So, what are we doing now?"

 

[Flame]

Anaru didn't respond and led his apprentice into a room full of pits. Each pit had something different in it. Nothing life threating, but it would be frustrating to fall in these pits. For example, the bit to the left of Anaru was full of sticky web-like material like you would see from a spider.

Another was covered in poison ivy that would sting at you and cause an intense rash to develop. These were some of the lesser harmful objects in the pits.

"I want you to use the force to jump over each of these pits. Come back to me in under 5 minutes otherwise you will have to do it again. Do not fail me."

 

[Gambler]

Ash assessed the situation. He knew that he was supposed to use the Force to do this, but he couldn't channel it at that moment. He looked at the walls surrounding the ledges. Just enough traction. "Very well. I'll see you in three." He said, looking at each one again. In truth, he was nervous about what he was going to do. Running on a wall was only possible for three steps before you absolutely HAD to jump.

Getting a running start, Ash planted his left foot parallel to the wall while his leg supported his weight. Quickly he took three steps, using his hand for extra balance as he jumped on the third step. He landed in a roll that almost sent him falling off of the first ledge. Drawing a shaky breath he stood up. "Six more," He breathed warily. There was no way for him to make that jump again. But that was no reason not to try. He backed up to the very ledge of the first ledge and sprinted forward placing both feet on the wall, running as fast as he could. Somehow he beat gravity and made five steps before he jumped, landing painfully on his right leg. But he made it. Oddly, a wave of nausea assaulted him as if he had just run a three mile race and stood still at the very end.

Shaking his head, Ash repeated the same thing with less grace. This time he held onto the ledge with his right hand. He felt himself slipping, but he used his legs and elbows to scramble up. He went to his hands and knees as he pulled himself up, panting slightly. Now he knew for a fact that he was tiring. Summoning up every burst of energy he had, Ash exploded forward in a sprint, eyes sealed shut as he glided across the wall. He jumped as soon as he felt himself slipping. He landed on something... too solid. His chest slammed into it and his legs went numb with the impact. Still he held himself upright and scrambled up. Opening his eyes, Ash realized where he was with a gasp. He had made it, but he had no idea how much time had passed. Three, four minutes? It wasn't more than four and a half, but not less than three. Knees wobbling he stood and scanned the area for Anaru.

I.. made... it." He panted quietly.

 

[Flame]

((It was the way you phrased it that confused me. "Summoning up every burst of energy he had, Ash exploded forward in a sprint, eyes sealed shut as he glided across the wall." That made it seem like you were just using adrenaline to me.))

Anaru was suprised that his apprentice had made it. He really hadn't expected him to. Anaru's feelings were mixed about his apprentice's success. On one part, he was dissappointed with him that he would not do simple work that would educate him on the galaxy. On the other hand, he seemed to have talent that could develop into potential, plus he wanted to help Ash find his true past. "It must be very tought not to know where you came from at all." Thought Anaru sadly as he blandly stared at his apprentice with a slight shock.

"Well done. I half expected that you would jump straight across. That would have made your work alot easier, but now you do know how to run across walls. What do you feel ready for Ash?" Anaru asked unexpectedly.

This was his plan so that he could figure out what his apprentices desires were. He wanted to keep his mind off of his past because he didn't want him to become too depressed about not knowing it.

 

[Gambler]

"I feel ready to sleep," Ash said wryly as he steadied his breathing. "Actually, I don't feel ready for anything right now. All I have learned is that I can call upon something when in stressful circumstances. The run on walls thing? That was just dumb luck. Anyone could do that if they do the math... mostly you just need to divide the ration of speed, distance, force, velocity and finally gravity and traction to get the modifier for your step by step. But I'm babbling now. I need more training before I should be accepted. And training in the Force."

 

[Flame]

"You've learned much more than you think Ash. Before you go to bed tonight think about our training starting from day 1 and then retrack your thoughts. Tomorrow I will teach you how to dive deeply into water using the force. That is a very nifty technique and you will have to use it." Anaru turned to leave and head out of the room, but then he quickly turned around for half a second and stated "Oh, and uhh...Ash; remember that there is no such thing as luck." With that Anaru walked out of the room.

((Sorry for my absence, finals were a killer and I wanted to finish well. Back to training!! ;)))

 

[Gambler]

With a heavy shrug Ash started to move towards his rooms. And then he remembered that he didn't have any. "Uh... Master?" He began, clearing his throat while he waited for his Master to turn back to him. I... uh.. don't have a room. I just got here an hour ago and was told to meet you here. I don't really know where to go right now... Not good planning, but everything up until this moment has passed in a vague blur. I can't seem to recal my own emotions three minutes ago."

 

[Flame]

Anaru was almost down the hallway when he heard Ash talk about needing a room to sleep in. So, Anaru walked back, put his hand on his forehead and sighed.

Then he replied "Ahh, that's okay Ash. I understand how things slip from our minds easily, with so much to focus on there's hardly enough time to think about the force, or what you've learned, or where your room is to say the least. Come with me."

So Anaru and his padawan walked up to the main room of the temple and Anaru walked up to one of the head masters and said "Pardon, can I get a room for this young one tonight? His guide, forgot to get him one; I'll have to reprimand him in the morning. My apologies."

The receptionist merely nodded and passed him a datacard with the room # 301. "Follow me." Anaru said kindly as he walked Ash up to the room and slid in the card. "Try not to lose this card. And uhh... if this emotional forgetfullness continues to occur, please let me know about it. That is not a good thing because it could implicate that you have a short term memory loss or something along those lines, and that can be dealt with easily through the force. But have a goodnight Ash, and sleep well for tommorrow will be full of rigorous training." Anaru bowed to Ash and then he walked out of the room, hoping that his padawan would get over his emotions, find out who he truly was, and become the great jedi he was destined to be.

 

[Gambler]

[OOC: A little melodramatic, but that's alright I guess if not very realistic]

Ash followed his master into his room. 301. At first it seemed like the room would be some large suite or something. In fact, Ash was looking forward to sleeping on a comfortable bed. He literally couldn't remember the last time he didn't have to sleep on the floor, in a ship or some other less than comfortable place. But he was in for a rude awakening when he saw his spartan room. One bed that his feet would hang over, a closet for his robes and a small bathroom for bathing and relieving himself. Spartan was being generous. Almost grumpily he set his things down and collapsed on the bed face first. As the great darkness of comforting sleep settled around him he remembered someone telling him something.

::"You are not a god, Ash. No one is allowed to have this kind of power. No one! Not even you, my friend." A man with a light brown goatee, steely gray eyes and a large hammer said, hefting what looked to be extremely powerful explosives. Ash tried to think of something but he couldn't. Nothing could save him. Davan was going to kill him for enslaving him and he had just wasted his powers killing the eunuchs. Looking around Ash watched the cold lifeless bodies of said senators, their own swords thrust through their chests and blood splattered at the corners of their mouth where they had coughed up blood. A slow smile spread across his face. Davan could try to kill him, but he would fail; they all did. Not even his apprentice would be able to kill him. Not since he had returned from his self imposed seven year exile around the universe. No. His feeble minded apprentice would die here and now. "I mean it Ash. You are going to die. I will be doing the world a favor by killing you!" Davan all but screamed, rushing towards the powerful sovereign, hammer bared. Immediately Ash ignited his twin crimson lightsabers. He might have said something, but he couldn't seem to recall it. The lust for battle was too strong. Too heavy in his lungs. A wicked laugh seared the air as he threw Davan into a pillar, shattering the weak stone structure and forcing the young man into the ground in a boneless heap. Davan groaned quietly before wiping the corner of his mouth. With a feral growl the man set upon Ash again. Once more Ash danced circles around his apprentice. This time he wasn't so kind. As Davan's hammer darted in for a fatal blow Ash slashed with lightning alacrity, severing his apprentice's right arm at the elbow. Davan screamed and fell back. As he fell to the ground the explosive charges detonated. All sensibility fled as Ash was thrown through a pillar and into the wall, Davan close beside him. In his panic Ash threw up a barrier around himself. All of his strength went into that barrier. The Force itself fled as he was thrust into a comatose state::

Ash sat up in his bed with a gasp. The memory was so clear, the feeling so livid. He could remember how Davan's blood had felt on his hands. How good it felt to order the eunuchs to kill themselves. How it felt to control someone so completely with the Force... those disturbing thoughts fled as he fell into true sleep.

 

[Flame]

((No worries, I've heard a lot cheesier beginnings and histories lul.))

It was bright morning, and Anaru woke up as usual at 5am. He yawned, stretched, and ate breakfast before heading down to see his apprentice. He decided to wait by his door and plan the days lesson until Ash woke up. That was always the toughest part of being a master.....patience. Hands down, it could be the toughest part of teaching a student.