Origins

[Mistress]

There had been a strange sensation she picked up on in her last class. I single student seemed to revel in the Force she incited, as she gave her very first demonstration of the Darkside up close to the Padawans and other Knights. This Padawan stood calm and collected, while others were clearly effected by the extreme effects of her demonstration. Even Zabić herself was emotionally effected by what she had to do to achieve her goal.

'Even Kai, himself a Master, had been strongly moved when I demonstrated how I moved the Force upon his request,' she recalled quite clearly! 'What exactly was it that gave this Padawan his strength to reject its effects?'

She could feel his eyes upon her, as she left the classroom after questions had been answered. She had expected Gavin to interact more. His distance is expected, but she did not appreciate his deep laden anger towards her, when she herself had not ever harmed him nor wished ill upon him. Only she understands how far she has come from the person she had been. Gavin didn't seem willing to even try to understand that she is not his enemy.

It is not Gavin trailing after her as she exited her classroom and headed through the corridors of Galactic Evolution, but the one who seemed calmest during the exhibit of chaos, and now seems uneasy while he is free to be most at peace. Does he too, fear her? She sensed his desire to have a word in private. She did not know what he might reveal to her. Hopefully whatever is on his mind, she can help him with in some fashion.

The recently inducted Jedi Knight slowed her steps as she sensed the Padawan near, allowing him to catch up with her. "Is it...Joshu?" she asked, recalling the name she touched upon within his mind during the start of her class.

 

[Joshu Pladata]

Joshu started to head towards the teacher of the class, he weaved through the classmates and swiftly closed the distance between the two of them. As he did this a dozen thoughts were running through his head. What was he going to say to her? He had been taught to leave the Sith in him behind, ignore everything about it, abolish it but this woman embraced her past, she was totally different. The two were now in the hallway away from the class and just as Joshu was about to introduce himself he was met with "Is it...Joshu?" Abandoning all decorum he quickly got to his point, although mabe more bluntly than he should have.

"Why did you do that, in there?" Joshu had many questions but this felt the most pressing, he was so confused by what he had seen. Hopefully The woman would understand him and sate his curiosity. He stood stiff and still awaiting a response his mind muddled with thoughts about the discussion about to take place.

 

[Mistress]

Zabić raised a hand towards Joshu as she turned into a venting alcove, and gestured he follow. It held four small tables which were currently empty until she lead him inside. She disbursed herself a selection of a tart juice before taking a seat and motioning for the Padawan to do the same if he chose. "Jedi certainly don't see a display like that until they are involved in a face-off. Even an inexperienced Master might hesitate and put himself at a disadvantage where every second counts." What she shared is a recount of an event she had seen firsthand.

"What you saw in there is not who I am today. I hate to do that. If I can help prepare someone in some small way, its worth it to me. Some Jedi found themselves so rattled on the battlefield, they don't see who I am, only what I used to be. I hope to gain trust, by allowing them to see up close, the contrast." Anyone who would just reach out and sense her would know that what she says is true.

She could feel an all too familiar pang coming from the Padawan. "Not long ago...I didn't even know what the Light was. It sure wasn't anywhere that I had ever been. The changes I accepted, my coming here and joining the Jedi, are choices I made." She smiled softly. "But, you already know about that; don't you?"

 

[Joshu Pladata]

In response to Joshu's question the Jedi knight gestured towards a nearby alcove for them to talk, somewhere out of the way. She took a seat at one of the tables and offered Joshu a seat though he silently chose to remain standing, his hands joined together behind his back. Taking this in stride the woman began to talk of why she had made such a show in the classroom. She spoke of how Jedi rarely see such abilities and how it could throw them off in the fires of battle. Joshu wanted to respond that anyone who could not adapt did not deserve to be on a battlefield in the first place but he bit his tongue. He knew what he was thinking was the old ways lingering with him, that merciless outlook he had grown accustomed to. Before Joshu had a chance to make an measured response Zabić had begun talking again.

"What you saw in there is not who I am today." She started off. That was something Joshu needed to remember, people were more than a product of their circumstances they are shaped and moulded in different ways depending on what they bring to their experiences. The experience of Zabić shone through as her motive for the demonstration soon became clear. " I hope to gain trust" She then said in a calm and comforting tone.

Joshu was confused by this as a demonstration of such chaos could hardly inspire loyalty. "If you yearn for their trust why do you show them the darkest part of yourself? Why do you present them with the very thing they fear most? Why do you subject them to the Dark Side in such a way that reminds them of what you have done?" Joshu responded transferring some of his own guilt onto the woman before him.

Without missing a beat, almost unfazed by Joshu's words, Zabić responded "Not long ago...I didn't even know what the Light was." The woman spoke of the choices she made to get to where she was, and she seemed proud. Perhaps the confidence in her choices came from a trust she felt towards the Jedi a trust she was trying to get them to share in, it had become clear what she was trying to say even if she spoke in the same reserved manner the Jedi used that seemed to irritate Joshu so much. "But, you already know about that; don't you?" Zabić then finished looking up towards the new Padawan recognsing his past.

"I know all too well the burden of that choice, the weight you are left to carry" Joshu responded being more open now than he had been in his entire time with the Jedi. "knowing that you will never truly be free of the dark side, you have to live with the consequences of what you have done." He now looked directly into the Jedi's eyes "How do you it?" He finished, almost a quiver in his voice.

 

[Mistress]

She could sense his doubt regarding her logic. It doesn’t bother her at all; in the old days however, the effects would result in a different outcome! ”You know as well as I do that the Sith don't discriminate. Padawans are being faced by far more experienced Sith, even while on planets well outside of Imperial rule.” That is a sordid fact.

“I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, really; all this is still new to me.” If she were with the Sith, she would have hit underclassmen with Lightning at some point, and made them defend themselves against her. “I show them who I was because, to be honest, it is not easy to adapt. Looking at that display back there, I can prove to myself how far I have come. Lets face it, the Darkside is not the threat. I channeled it back there, and I walked away from it. The threat is how one uses it. I think, to show them a Sith is not some untamed monster, but that someone of flesh and blood is actually behind the power, then they might realize they shouldn't be so afraid. To dehumanize the enemy, is to give them great power over your psyche.”

She only has a theory, as no Jedi can really help guide her through her personal longing. “You cannot gain trust by hiding your emotions, or your past. You can keep the skeletons, the nasty details for yourself, but not the facts, and not what makes you who you are today. If you do that in life, you’ll stand alone for the most part.”

He seemed very shaken as he asked her how she manages to get by. It’s not something one would see from a Sith; but a Sith on the path to redemption is another story. ”To start? You sit down.” Zabić feels the need for alot of patience in order for one’s answers to come.

“How does one live with themselves?” She thought about it for a moment before offering, “I said back there, that you are a product of your environment and I meant it. My answers might not be any to which you can relate. I lived on Korriban, and there is no light anywhere that I ever saw. How could you, considering your specific element, have grown to be anybody other than you have? The Force on a Sith settled planet, only has one side. Somewhere along the way, maybe someone brought it along and revealed it to you? That’s how it was for me. Now here, you get your chance to show yourself under a different influence. Nobody here wants you to fail. It is a great compromise just to allow any craving for unrestrictive competition fall to the wayside.”

She didn’t mind relaying to him as much as she could offer all at one sitting. ”When you are open with people about who you are, you will find someone willing to take a risk and believe in you, someone to help you on your journey.” She also believes that people meet for a reason, especially now.

“I think I have adapted well, but it was difficult at first. I'm sure you feel challenged while moving the Force now. It is not denying yourself, but opening up to a different perspective. You have to get over your pride of your past and replace any terrible sense of animosity which lead you to puppeteer everyone around you, and concentrate on connecting to your surroundings in peace.”

 

[Joshu Pladata]

The woman seemed sure of herself, despite having only recently started on her path towards the light side of the force there was something confident about her, something certain, she was made for this life. Joshu maybe not so much. "You say that the dark side isn't the threat, that you can channel it, but for some it is a real threat, you only have to look at history, at the people that defected to the Sith to know that it is a threat, one that some of us can't leave behind so easily." Joshu looked at the teacher, his eyes that familiar yellow that Sith were accustomed to. once again she responded calmly yet confidently. She spoke of how one cannot keep their past hidden if they wish to earn trust. It was as if that risk had to be taken in order to prove that you weren't the enemy.

In response to Joshu question of how she deals with everything, he was met with a very coy answer ”To start? You sit down.” She said expecting patience of the young man. He smiled at the answer, in fact it was the first time he had smiled in a long while, humoring Zabić he pulled out a chair and took a seat. At this point the woman began to talk of her past in more detail, her own experiences with the force, the light side and the dark. but then it became less about the force, and more about people. ”When you are open with people about who you are, you will find someone willing to take a risk and believe in you, someone to help you on your journey.” It was at this point Joshu began to think of how he had been until now, he was quiet, reserved, distant. Living like this would only hinder his progress and like Zabić had said he needed to open up.

"Thank you" He nodded towards Zabić. He had taken on board what the woman had to say, whether he could put it into action would remain to be seen, but this was a start. He climbed up from his seat a changed man this might not have been his first step on his path to the light side but it was a significant one. As he was about to walk away he turned back to face the woman, a question on his mind though he was afraid to ask it. "If you would honor me, i have a request" Joshu paused to collect himself. "Every Padawan needs to learn from a master, or a knight, they need a guide, somebody to teach them what it means to be a Jedi. You seem to understand the struggles we have been through, you know my pain yet have worked past it and come out stronger. Zabić, can you teach me to overcome the dark side? Can you teach me what it means to be a Jedi? Will you be my master?" He stood in silence his arms folded behind his back awaiting a response from the woman. He had taken the chance that she had so recently spoken about but would it pay off?

 

[Mistress]

Upon hearing Joshu's question, Zabić slowly sat back in her chair. Zabić had apprentices in her past. There was a Wookiee; boy they must have been a ferocious sight. There was Vandheer. As cold hearted as Zabić was when she witnessed insubordination, Vandheer was all of the time. She hadn't realized it before, but it was while training him that she first felt the need for something more out of life. Every aspect was sadly unfulfilling. Sitting there in the alcove, as the hall was bustling with chatter from passersby, her expression fell to one who is quite humbled. She had not expected the Padawan would ask her this. Her mind raced for signs of any sort of justification that she might be able to satisfy his request.

'Am I a Jedi?'

Kai always told her that she is, so had Lucien. She even feels different on the inside than she had while serving the Imperium. Also, she will noticeably choose to act/react far differently than she had in her past, however she still realizes she has much to learn before she will truly be knowledgeable about all the important aspects of serving as a distinguished Jedi.

Zabić is not one to seek prestige where she does not feel she had not earned it. "Joshu...you honor me in a way I do not deserve. I can help guide you to realize what little I understand. This journey you are on for redemption and self-discovery, I walk also." She saw an opportunity regarding how she may contribute to his development. "How about an additional pact? If I see you screwing up, I'll give you a good old fashioned kick in the arse. I'll even agree to allow you to return the favor for me." Only one raised among the Sith would understand the devout significance of the offer.

She will permit him any amount of time for one-on-one training and discussion he should request of her. She knows that Kai will understand if her duty cuts into their time together, and probably initially express as much shock as she feels about the development.

 

[Joshu Pladata]

Joshu was met with apprehension, or confusion, he couldn't quite tell. What he could tell however was that he was not getting a master. He felt hurt but he did not lash out, not like he once would have. Instead he chose to listen to what the woman had to say. The more he listened the more he understood the situation. It was evident that Zabić was not some high and mighty Jedi master, redeemed from the Sith as a shining example of the light side, she was just like Joshu, struggling to get by in a world she didn't understand, at least not fully understand. She was simply a few steps ahead of Joshu but as he paid closer attention he could see a lot of himself in her, self doubt, shame, that same desire for redemption, he recognized it all. It was then he was told that she would happily help Joshu if he would return the favor. Together the two of them would strive to become Jedi, real Jedi.

Without a word of response Joshu simply extended a hand for a handshake to to show his commitment to the pact. The two would work together to prove themselves, push themselves and work towards and improved future. Joshu had not gotten himself a master today but he had found a friend.