Ongye Muitigheid

Kur Harwutma

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Ongye-ui Miutigheid (Akrhad)


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^Intel on Ongye^

Faction: Sith | Rank: Sith Knight | Age: Early Twenties | Species: Human | Gender: Male | Force Sensitive: Confirmed | Planet of Origin: Space Born | Hair Color: Black | Eye Color: Brown | Complexion: Dark | Height: 1.9m/190cm | Body Type: Athletic | Visual Identifiers: Skin damage from third degree burns located on left half of head, neck, shoulder, and upper right pectoral.

APPEARANCE

Ongye is a youthful man in his early twenties. Athletic and well-built, his strength is exaggerated by an equally impressive height. Swarthy in appearance; His features are exotic and modelesque but a serious deformity distracts from it’s overwhelming beauty. To block the horrible visage from sight, Ongye wears a custom combat mask. The simple shell was customized by an acolyte and features a red symbol upon the forehead.

Just as the lords, so to does Ongye wear dark robes. Underneath he wear a simple, fitted, combat suit.

ATTRIBUTES

Strength
Strength defines many individuals, mainly in the underworld. Those whom sport muscles as their badge are constantly finding ways to show off and demonstrate their physical advantage. Ongye may look like them but he doesn’t flaunt it like they do. Despite his racial preference to athleticism he has pushed past that to create a form that embodies brawn and dexterity. Still he is youthful and lacking the years of training needed to exceed on the battlefield. The burns he sustained years ago tend to tare under extreme stress.

Acrobatics
Acrobatics make the key difference between a battle fought on the loosing side and a battle lost. Being cornered is naturally a disadvantage but using this ability can easily move you from one point to another. The battle would carry on instead of end abruptly. Tactical advantage means a lot and an opponent that can traverse a bad position could easily move to a point that puts tacticians into a tight spot. Skilled movement means nothing if the opponent has a strong understanding of their environment. There are some people that not only analyze the attack but surrounding background. Situations like this would force Ongye into a position where retreat is better than attack.

Speed and Dexterity
Ongye is not the fastest or most nimble but most opposition would find him hard to catch. Speed is necessary in his form of evasive combat. Great defense makes for a great offense as they say. This is true as an opponent can’t defeat you if they can’t hit you. Unfortunately for those who use speed to their advantage, everyone makes up a pattern in their mind. Some people create simple designs for themselves while other make grand constructs of movement that is nearly impossible to perceive. All it takes to combat a master of dexterity is to have a keen eye and sharp mind.

Blaster Training
Blasters are a strong weapon against melee fighters, unless they’re force sensitive. Despite that little weakness, a Jedi, or sith, could easily be distracted by a blaster. Ongye is definitely skilled with a blaster pistol but it isn’t for offense. This tool is purely defensive in combat. This is meant to distract an enemy force user from using their abilities.

Swordsmanship
Duelist battles, melee tournaments, ambushes, etcetera. Ongye has fought in many different ways to hone a brutish style of single handed and two handed combat. Both forms are comfortable and easy to switch between. The only downside to this would be that he requires more overhand maneuvers. He may be able to tilt the strike of his weapon any degree within a second but his lower half is usually exposed. When in close quarters, he has to remain on the defense. To combat this weakness, Ongye uses a phase lightsaber. This allows his to switch from offense to defense at a moments notice but it isn’t perfect. Sometimes it can harm him if it’s switched at the wrong time.

Force Sensitivity
Force sensitive individuals not only understand the flow of battle but the flow of the world. An invisible river traveling through us and the universe. Changes, even in the slightest, are part of that flow. Force users are attuned to this unseen magic and can control it. Unfortunately for those with less training (Ongye), it requires exception concentration, both constant and deep. Shots aimed at the user could easily interfere with their application of force. Most opponents wouldn’t realize what was happening before it was too late but experienced individual could easily recognize force concentration and disrupt it.

Force Wound
When life is lost, it leaves a scar. No one knows that better than Jedi and Sith. Opening the wound isn’t simple and almost always accidental. Those with force wounds are cursed to have a hunger they can never fill. Afflicted will kill and absorb the power of force sensitive individuals to stop their own body from being consumed by it.

Force Regeneration
This ability requires no concentration but isn’t meant for combat. Wounds and fractures heal over time at an accelerated rate. However, it does not replace lost limbs or remove scars and ailments (poison, burns, etc.).

PERSONALITY

Social: Ongye prefers to wear his mask in public, not just to hide the ghastly visage behind it, to conceal a hunger harbored in his eyes. Though his mannerisms are odd, coughing after speaking, twitching in strange intervals, he speaks politely and truthfully. This feat is rare among Sith but Ongye would have trouble hiding his tells otherwise. Diplomatic missions aren’t usually his style but he does take the chance when it’s presented. Normally he is concise and speaks directly without hesitation. He’ll let out a nervous cough when trying to steer the conversation to another subject. Sometimes he will disassociate mid-conversation due to tragedies that hang in the back of his mind.

Combative: Ongye is a mitigator and lends himself to reserved tactics, preferring longer drawn-out fights to conserve health at cost of stamina. The blaster at his side is more for show as his telekinesis allows for minor projectiles to be thrown. However it doesn’t require concentration so he uses the weapon conservatively and only to distract opponents. When he has an opening, he’s quick to strike, retreating to his previous position wether or not an attack lands. Because he can feed off the fear and hate from another opponent, Ongye makes a habit of insulating his them.

Major Flaws: Despite having exceptional concentration, he easily can lose it. Whether a phrase or appearance, something could easily send him into a delusional state. This forms itself as a projection upon whomever triggers his affliction. The person is transformed and takes on an appearance of someone close to him. Once in this state, he can not break it unless another trigger brings him back. Usually killing his intended target will break the spell but that may not always be the case.

Constantly haunted and starving, his existence brings him nothing but anger. This rage is only matched by the insatiable hunger that hounds his waking thoughts. Since Korriban is steeped in force energy, from it’s land to the Sith whom live here, Ongye survives. He dines upon the force sensitive natives but they can never truly slate his thirst. Ongye can stand being away from Korriban for short periods of time but sooner or later, he must fead or return to his home.


BIOGRAPHY

-Shooting Star-

Blazing across the sky, a white comet like apparition blinks out of sight. Shortly after, another object follows the same path. These aren’t things of wishes but they do carry sentient desires. ”Weodako! Are you listening to me!” The shrill voice of a woman fills the ships cockpit. “I can’t, you have to stop!” Handling the pilot station was a human male, dark in complexion. His attention was on the horizon. Eyes wide, they scanned left to right. “Weodako!” She screamed.”He’s coming!” The woman retched back in her seat as if something were bursting forth.
“What!?” He turned for a moment to see his heavily pregnant wife in the early stages of labor. “Now!?” The ship shook violently. Red lasers grazed the nose and hit the rear thrusters. Instruments light up on the panel. Lights flash to indicate a loss of stability. They were slowing down and loosing altitude. He grabs the control stick and rotates the ship around. Coming at breakneck speed, the offending vessel was only a few meters away. Weodako fires a volley of return fire directly on them. They counter and both vehicles take direct damage to their hulls. Just as sudden as their fight ended, they began to free-fall.

Weodako took the restraints holding him in place and grabbed ahold of a metal bar. Carefully, hand over hand, he made way to his wife. He grabbed her hand just as the ship hit a tree. Reitau was blinded by tears as her lover slipped from her fingers. “It’ll be okay…” he said before being flung against the hull. His spine snapped and skull crumpled. Reitau screamed for her husband. Then became silent as the ship met ground.

Soft cry’s came amongst burning debris, rising with the flames, echoing off charred metal. Remnants of an altercation swathed in mystery. Metal beams fell over, revealing Reitau and her new born child: Cradled in her still, lifeless arms, reaching out for her. Flames licked at them, the newborn literally melting. Somehow the flames were kept at bay, lustfully longing to consume mother and child. “Well well well, aren’t you something special?” The question came from a lone man dressed in black robes. He quenched the fire with a wave of his hand. Slowly, as the baby made contact with the stranger, the crying abated.

-Salt on Wounds-

“Is this a joke?”, “He’s disfigured!”, “Do you flaunt your failure in front of us?” Four figures surround a small medical pod. Floating inside is a new born, burns covering thirty percent of his body. One of the figures approaches. “Is there something I’m not seeing Fed?” He begins to tap the glass, trying to stimulate the child inside.
“Yes, this is their child.” Fed grabs the mans hand and slowly pulls it away from the glass.
“So,” He replies, wiping his hand on a tapestry. “Did you want to kill it in front of us?”
Fed chuckles. “I brought the child as a prospect.”
The others laughed in unison. “A joke! Fed, you are a wit.”
Only one wasn’t laughing, his expression dawned one of irritation. “When I found the child, he was using the force to keep himself from burning alive.”
Sounds of laughter ended abruptly. The rushed council looked at each other then at Fed. “You were sent out as an assassin”, “Eliminate the agents and return.”, “Was the dossier not clear?”
“Ye-well no… it was very clear. I figured this would be a waste of an opportunity.” He moves toward the pod and places a hand on the glass. “A young mind to mold into the perfect Jedi.”
“Hold yourself.”, “There are plenty whom can control the force already, we don’t need a... let’s just call it a child...”, “Do you think this one is special?”
Fed turned to face them. “When have you seen a newborn use the force?”
“Trick of the eye.” One responded. “Luck!” Said another. “Maybe someone has a soft spot?”
That last statement angered Fed. “Do not jest!” The room rattled as he flexed his force abilities.
“Do you want your execution early?” Said the tallest, his lightsaber in hand but not drawn.
Stagnancy returned to the inanimate. “Forget my impudence.” He bows respectfully; this would only end in his death. “Maybe he could be a Indentured to a Master.”
The elders scoffed. “When slaves are accepted, I’ll exile myself from this union.” Two of the elders share a laugh. One looks directly at the child. “You realize that if we did accept him, you would have failed your mission?”
Fed thought for a moment. Selflessness was not a strong trait of his. “I do…”
“Then consider this your one and only reprimand. Shall you fail again, you will forfeit your title and life.” She turns to her associates. “Any reservations?” Neither elders dared to speak up. “Then he may attend, under strict regulations.”
Fed and the council took a deep bow before separating. Ongye floated alone, unaware of the future he now had and the past he left behind.

-Burning Desires-

Mal’Lahd, former Jedi turned exile, was a spy during the hundred year war. His methods became apparent when another Jedi, Montiguro, found him forcibly draining the knowledge of a prisoner. Instead of being captured, he fled the order and joined the ranks of his exiled fraternity. Without the Jedis restraint, he became a vital part of their intelligence gathering: Choosing espionage over physical confrontation.

It was during one such mission that he met Verssuny; a young Nagai girl whom showed characteristics of a force sensitive. She was sired by Guhitomnt, Mal’Lahds target, a double agent. Their confrontation ended with little bloodshed but ultimately spelled the fate of both Nagai. Verssuny would be taken, forced into the dark ranks of exiles, while her father had been fated to forget her and himself. The republic would take little note on this event and even the Jedi would glaze over it with distant eyes.

Exile Mal’Lahd was angered by the wretch entrusted to him. Especially after securing his own student in the prior year. However, his hate towards his brethren paled in comparison to Ongye. The young boy was gifted but showed restraint when harnessing the dark side. Verssuny was different; she reveled in the darkness and took from it great strength. Soon their training would separate. Ongye found himself with the role of “practice dummy”. He would experience a litany of mind bending spells. Each growing in intensity with use. The light which once filled his eyes slowly gave way to a hollow emptiness.

Ongye had turned twelve, though he appeared to be fifteen. No one had noticed so far, not even himself. After Verssunys training, Ongye returned to his room: a small sequestered space by the engine of Mal’Lahds ship. Crimson rays painted the walls a neon blood-red. His eyes reflected the light and a silhouette. Verssuny was standing by his bedside. This was an odd occurrence, seeing as they rarely interacted outside of Mal’Lahds influence. It made sense to Ongye that she’d be here. The boy had become their servant and would regularly get requests. “Do you need something washed or cleaned?” He asked with a lethargic sigh.
Verssuny smiled down at the human and shook her head. The long black locks of her hair shaking left to right. “No… I uh don’t know how to say this.” She fiddled with something behind her back. “You used to hold this date in your heart and I never knew till I asked Master.” From behind the Nagai revealed a flower. Not an ordinary carnation but one of metal transformed by the force. “I made this for you…”
Ongye looked up, dumbfounded and a little apprehensive. “For me? You made this… for me?” Kindness was something foreign to him. Hesitantly, he sat up on the cot.
“Take it!” She said, thrusting it upon the boy. “It’s just a metal flower.”
Ongye took it into his hands and admired the craftsmanship. It was flawed yet elegant. “Thank you.” Slowly spreading across his face, a smile appeared.
“I’m sorry.” Said Verssuny. “For everything he-we have done to you.” She placed a hand on his knee and watched him with a look of remorse. “If you could look past my mistakes, I’d like to help you.”
Ongye wanted so hard to believe that someone cared about him, it had been years since anyone showed even a little bit of decency.. “How?”
Verssuny grabbed Ongye’s hand. “By killing our Master.”
The touch of another, it was something he had learned to spurn. When Verssuny took hold and clasped hands, Ongye chose to forget his hate. “You’d do that for a slave?”
“I’m a slave too!” She insisted. “Master…” She fought back tears, chocking on her words. “Mal’Lahd took me from my family. Forced me into his tutelage. I-I…” Her throat clear as a tear streamed down her cheek. “I just want to see my family again.” Her eyes closed and lips shook as she desperately suppressed the urge to cry.
Ongye felt a twinge in his heart. There was another just like him and he no longer felt alone. He wrapped his arms around her and held the girl tightly. “I’m in.” The words came out shaken but as they hugged he gained strength in his speech. “Let’s kill that bastard!” Their embrace tightened as they both seemed to find a condolence with one another. Just before leaving the hug. Verssuny smiled.

Together they planned in secret. Their meeting place; the engine room upon Mal’Lahds ship. Both shared laughs and personal secrets to one another. Slowly they became more than partners in their masters death. Often referring to each other as friends. Ongye could feel himself growing more and more attached to Verssuny. This solidified a thought in his head that he would finally have happiness. She embodied that hope and gave Ongye new life.

Months had passed till finally their plan had come to fruition. Verssuny was able to allocate a bottle of nerve toxin. She entrusted it to Ongye who would proceed to poison Mal’Lahds next and finale meal. “Put a little, put a lot. Just make sure he eats it.” Verssuny held out a vile of brown viscose liquid. Ongye took the bottle with a nod. He didn’t smile like she was. To take another life, even one as evil as Mal’Lahds, was like cutting his own heart. The only glimmer of light in the darkness was Verssuny.
“I was wondering, when this is all over.” Ongye looked deep into her eyes. “Could I go with you?”
Verssuny hugged Ongye and whispered in his ear. “I wouldn’t think about leaving without you.”

Pleasant smells filled the small kitchen. Ongye was preparing a stew made of meat and vegetables. Simple but the spices would overpower the taste and smell of poison. Their food was ready and all that remained was a small tincture of toxic poison. Ongye ladled two bowls, one for his master and the other for Verssuny. He uncorked the bottle and slowly turned it to the side. Their came a loud crash from the canteen. Ongye dropped the vile with a loud crash of twinkling glass.

He rushed into the adjacent room. The table had been turned over and flung against the wall. Mal’Lahd stood with his hand raised. Verssuny hung in the air, scratching at her throat. “You conniving precious little bitch!” Something had gone wrong. Mal’Lahd used his powers of knowledge draining to coerce the truth from her. “I’ll wring the life from you and that hideous rat!” Verssuny looked at Ongye and pleaded for help with speechless screams. Mal’Lahd smiled, knowing Ongye was to morally conflicted to kill someone out right but, over the months he had changed. In a way, he was still right. Once Mal’Lahds hand closed completely, Ongye felt an anger that had long since lay dormant. “Let her go!” He shouted. The reverberations of noice was followed by a rippling wave of force energy. Mal’Lahd was flung against the overturned table, snapping his spine and leaving him immobile.

Verssuny fell to the floor gasping for air. Ongye quickly made it to her, kneeling on the ground. He wrapped his hands around her. “Are you okay? Please tell me your okay.”
She brought her lips close to his ear and whispered. “Kill him now.”
Ongye couldn’t bare to let go Incase this was the last time they spoke. To him, death was better than loneliness.
Mal’Lahd laughed uncontrollably, coughing and groaning as he did. “You’re a fool.” Ongye turned to see his Master struggling to stay awake. “She’s using you Ongye.”
“Shut up!” The boy yelled back.
“Search your feelings you know it to be true. No one would want to ally themselves with a malformed plebeian like you.” Mal’Lahd tried to move his paralyzed body to no avail. “Go ahead, use that technique on her.”
Verssuny shook her head furiously. “He. Lies.” She whispered.
Ongye smiled down. “It’ll be okay. I won’t do it. I’m not like him.” The shaking stopped and her breathing returned to normal.
“Then I’ll show you!” Mal’Lahd used the pain and anger he felt in that moment to enter Ongye’s mind, sending them both into a trance. The human slave opened his eyes to find himself staring at Verssuny. “You’re acting strange…” he said, except it wasn’t his voice. “Are you up to something?” The Nagai widened her eyes and shook her head. “You know you can’t hide anything from me child!” Ongye, now Mal’Lahd, looked deep into Verssunys eyes and saw the truth.

When they had first met, the time they spent planning together; it was like watching a movie. Passing before him, scene by scene. That’s when Ongye saw it, the damning evidence that would crucify Verssuny. After handing Ongye the vile, she snuck a few drops into his rations. Across her face, a whimsical smile. “Like I’d ever hang around a disfigured loser.” Ongye watched silently, stunned by her actions and words. Slowly the canteen returned and Ongye was face to face with Verssuny. “You…” The feeling of sadness and loss gave way to anger. Tears streamed down his face. “You promised me.” The objects around them vibrated intensely. “I-I loved you.”

Verssuny gritted her teeth and looked up at Ongye with hate in her eyes. “I’d, never, love you.” There was no holding it back now, she was already good as dead. For years Ongye was hoping that loneliness was better than death but he realized, in that moment, he had died long ago. The tears left his eyes, filled with the pain of both isolation and betrayal. “Who could ever love me.” He hugged Verssuny one last time, hoping for it all to go away like a bad dream. As it became more and more apparent, his desire to end the pain grew. With a snap, Verssunys neck was contorted and broken.

“Good, good…” Mal’Lahd struggles again. “Help me to the medical pod. I can barely keep myself alive.” Ongye approached his Master slowly, silent. “Have you gone Dumb boy! Help me!” They stared at each other for a moment. “Ongye!” He shouted. “Do something.” Still, no response came. Anger flavored the pleasant scent of stew. Mal’Lahd could feel Ongyes growing lust to kill. “Please.” He begged. “Help me.” The man looked so weak in comparison to his slave. Years of subjugation had taken their toll on both. Now that the illusion of power was stripped the truth lay bare so both could see. On the ground, just by the boys feat, lay a lightsaber. Ongye picked it up, fear replaced Mals expression. The red blade elongated, bathing the canteen in a bloody color.

-Fate of Fed-

Disheveled by his actions and the betrayal of his friend. Ongye masked himself and hid from the world, choosing a solitary existence over one of merit. Wether an intended insult or appeal towards what humanity was left, Fed was sent to retrieve him. Sitting alone, in a nameless club on a backwater planet, was Ongye. His face covered by a mask. Despite the façade, the darkness surrounding him gave way to his identity. “Long time no see.” Said an aged human. “May I sit?” He didn’t wait for a response and instead took the seat facing the faceless figure.
Ongye looked up and had no recollection of the man. He would have left had something akin to a long distant memory hadn’t held him in place. “Do I know you?” He asked.
The stranger stroked his greying beard. “I suppose you don’t, but I know you, Ongye.” He smiled warmly. “Why don’t you take the mask off?”
“I’m sorry. I think you’re mistaken.” He Began to stand when Fed waved his hand commanding him to sit.
“You don’t have to worry, I’m a friend.”
Ongye felt somehow at ease around this stranger. Even when the mention of friend came, it sounded genuine. Then again this wasn’t the first time these words had been spoken. Ongye didn’t know exactly why but slowly he removed the mask.
“You’ve grown a lot in these seventeen years.” He reaches out to touch the young mans burns.
Ongye turns his face to the side, hiding it from the man. “Who are you?”
“Sorry.” He said bringing his hand to rest on the table. “I’m Fedrill Da Lorene. You can call me Fed.” Ongye looked at the man, sizing him up and trying to figure out exactly why he was here. “Long ago I saved your life.”
There came a scoff from Ongye. “Thanks.” He said sarcastically.
“You’re welcome.” The responses clearly upset Ongye. “Come on, let’s go.” Fed stood up and waited for Ongye. “I’ve got a lot to tell you.”

They, like old friends, began to speak of their separate adventures. They reveled in the success of one another and for a moment Ongye forgot his anger. With the treachery of Verssuny still fresh in his mind, the young man was surprised to find himself confiding in Fed: Love for a paternal figure and it was more welcoming than anything he had felt. When their conversation ended, Ongye was given a simple choice: leave with Fed to fight against the republic or hide. Too quickly was the choice made and they left the planet together.

Some years had passed and the war was reaching its most critical point. Fed and his pupil Ongye were sent out to the front lines of Ilum. They commanded a battalion of five-hundred and when they faced off against three Jedi, they were left with just the two of them. Fed was stronger and more adept at the force while Ongye could mitigate the battlefield. They fought valiantly and ultimately cornered the last Jedi. Fed approached to deal the finale blow but then something unexpected happened. Something in his eyes changed. “What are you waiting for!” Said Ongye “Kill him now!”
Fed retracted his lightsaber and holstered it. “I can’t.” The anger and rage he felt left him and all that remained was a deep sorrow. “I’m-“ His confession was cut short as the Jedi struck without notice. Ongye quickly interjected and cut the offender down. Fed fell to the ground. There was a large section of his torso missing from where the lightsaber struck.

“Master! Why?!” He screamed as he held the only father figure he had ever known. “Why… why are you such a fool!” Tears began to form, hidden behind the mask. Ongye tore it from his face and bares himself to the world.
Fed was coughing up blood, mixing it with the coagulating mess on the ground. “It’s been a long time since I heard someone call me that.” He laughed fondly but it ended with a gargled wretch. “Yo-…” the dying man gasped for air. “You wouldn’t understand. I wanted this.”
“You wanted to die!” Ongye was miffed and unable to comprehend, what reason could one have to sacrifice their life like this? “Here, I’ll carry you to the ship. We can leave and get you help.” Fed looked up at Ongye, Silent. “Master? Master?! Master!” Nothing came of the shouting. No one would hear him not even Fed. Ongye dawned the mask and hefted his masters body up.

It was a long trip but they managed to make it onto Feds ship. Ongye lay his master on his bed and went to the bridge. The instruments turned on as he sat. “Combat vessel Ocelot reque-“ The words failed him as a flash of catastrophic energy radiated through the air. Some cataclysm had been activated and Ongye knew there was only one thing left to do, run. The thrusters activated just as a wave bashed against the aircraft, sending it flying. They were at its mercy, being thrown about like a child’s rag-doll. The ship splintered as it slammed against a rocky spire. Fiery wreckage fell to the ground, amidst the storm of chaos.

The bridge had nested between two large stones. Inside, it’s sole occupant awoke. Ongye struggled to undo his harness in the pitch black interior. With the release of a button, he flew to the floor. He rose from what was previously the ceiling and felt his way towards an emergency hatch. It wouldn’t open so he took a moment to concentrate. He focused on the anger he felt towards the Jedi, whom had slew Fed, and forced it open. He emerged to find himself stranded and alone. Much of the aircraft was positioned nearby but Ongye was certain his master wasn’t here. Still he searched. Unknowing of why, trying to find some hope. Each section of cinder, each piece of pestilence, brought nothing but another search. Till finally he stopped, having only found a simple holocron. Ongye didn’t think long about his Master, Fed had passed away and finding him was pointless. The cracked mask adorning his face came off. He looked at the section of Ilum he was on and felt nothing. Inside his heart, he felt a growing emptiness. His eyes widened with a distance that seemed vastly impossible. The image of his dying Master flashed before him. There came a snap intangible yet painful all the same. The lump forming in his throat gave way to an intense scream. Unable to separate himself from the lucid images that began to haunt him, his body shook. Trying to search for something to pin him to reality, Verssuny came to mind. The feeling of enlightenment was fleeting as he recalled the vivid vision of her everlasting hate. Dark energy radiated through the air like a tsunami. Rocks rose with the volume of his voice. Another image of him snapping her neck flahed. Ongye fell to his knees. The screams ended and he shook staring at Mal’Lahds dead body. Next thing he knew, he was living in the moment when him and Fed met. Ongye coughed as he losses the ability to breath. His arms shook and once agin he was watching Fed dye in his arms. He recoiled his head back and screamed once again. The ground resonated with his pain and cracked like an earthquake had started. Ongye wanted to plead with anyone who would listen but what use would that be. Silence and stagnancy returned to the asteroid as Ongye gained some sensibility.

-Follow me to the grave-

The darkness surrounding Ongye made locating him easier for retrieval. When they found the human, he was near catatonic. Slowly he recovered but something about him had changed. Rarely did he wear the mask that he had grown so attached to. When speaking with him, people reported that they felt “like I just met death himself.” Ongye started looking into the eyes of strangers with such intent it was like he couldn’t wait to kill them. In reality it was just a thought of hunger. Something needed to fill the growing void.

After the events on Ilum, Ongye settled on Korriban. The events had left a permanent mark on him. There was no end to his hate, his anger, and now his gluttony.



SKILLS

Telekinetic Force Abilities
(Sub-skill) Force Push

Force Enhanced Condition
(Sub-Skill) Force Rage

Force Drain

Lightsaber combat
Ongye has trained for many years under a single Sith teacher. He has learned much in that time and defeated many opponents with practice swords. Only a dozen have fallen upon his real lightsaber. It isn’t hard to fight but his particular style creates some strengths and weaknesses. Overhead strikes are by far the most difficult to defend against. Each one could easily be the next to break the defense. Unfortunately this leaves his lower half exposed and often undefended. Deflecting a lower body attack is easy as long as Ongye switches stances after an attack.

GEAR

Clothing
Onyx black robes are draped over his shoulders. They hang about two feet off the ground to enhance mobility.

Armor
Slayer MK-1
(Direct URL:http://www.thestarwarsrp.com/forum/index.php?threads/slayer-mk-1.82543/)


Weapon (Main Hand)
Dual-Phase Saber

Weapon (Off Hand)
Tri-Barrel Blaster
(Direct URL:http://www.thestarwarsrp.com/forum/index.php?threads/tri-barrel-blaster.79690/)

ROLEPLAY

Relationships
name / faction / status

Loved Ones
- Weodako / Uknown / Dead (Father)
- Reitau / Unknown / Dead (Mother)
-

Allies/Friends
-

Known Acquaintances
-

Strangers
-Theraph Ghusk / Sith / Alive (@Rogue Navigator )
- Sleegath / Sith / Alive (@Narsi)
- Risha Sharro / Sith / Alive (@Nyxova)

Rivals
-


Story Line
-Stealing Stolen Goods (Open/PvP/Event/Ongoing)
-The hand of a swordsman (Open/Ongoing)
-Of Shades and Sith (Open/Ongoing)
-Shades and Blades (Ask/Plot/Ongoing)

U1 - Changed rank/Altered Equipment stats(changed armor to Slayer MK-1, changed un-named blaster to tri-barrel blaster while TS-Vanguard variant awaits approval [Currently waiting since 22:9:18]/Altered Story to remove mention of “Academy” and “Sith” before Ilum/Altered Skills to add flaws/Added Personality Flaw

U2 - Removed about 2000 words and replaced it with 3000 site-cannon friendly storyline/Altered Personality to be in-line with story/ removed and altered skill/added skill Force Drain/ Altered force wound to be in line with site lore/Removed unedited reminants of previous gear to be in-line with advanced function rules (Added external link to fix issue with clickable text)

U3 - Added storyline links and relationship information
 
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Wit

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All the tech that you have listed, the armor, the blaster, will need write-ups in the technology boards. Or you can replace them with existing approved tech. And I'm fairly certain the Force Wound, regeneration, and consume essence abilities will have to go, the character mods can speak on that with certainty.

As for the biography, the Sith were founded as a group just a few years ago IC, so the references you have about him being born among the Sith would need changing. The references to Ajunta Pall would most probably need to go as well, don't think canon references like that are allowed.
 

Kur Harwutma

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@Wit

Thank you very much for the information. I’ll get a technology submission made shortly. As for being born to the Sith, he was born to a pair of drifters. How would you redo the scene where he’s born to highlight the difference between these facts?

edit - I would hope force wound could stay, considering it suppresses the consume skill and debuffs force power.
 
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Dread

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Hey @Kur Harwutma.

Unfortunately, a large chunk of your profile will need to be rewritten.

These are the issues that need to be fixed:

  • The strictly legends Force abilities that you have listed (that do not have write ups in the lore section) will need to go. A lot of the other abilities you listed may not work exactly like you think they do either, so I suggest browsing the lore section to see if there are any write ups on them too. Also remember that your character is level one and will not be that proficient in those skills either. For example, a level ones Force Destruction would absolutely NOT be as strong as you have written it.
  • The Sith Empire was only created a year or so ago, same with the discovery of the Sith Purebloods and the adoption of their culture. Before they were called Sith, they were called Exile's and were nomadic for most of the timeline; meaning, they did not have temples until much later. Any reference to the Empire, Sith or temples before a year or so ago in your character's history needs to be removed. Also, though you might have already assumed this, any reference to Korriban before a year or so ago needs to be removed as well.
  • All tech in your profile needs to be listed and linked to tech write ups. That includes your characters armor, mask, weapons, ship, everything. Also force users cannot have armor functions unless they're for quality of life.
  • Any reference to canon or legend characters or their history needs to be removed.

As I suggested in our PM, take a look at our Story so Far page to understand our timeline a little better. :)

Our site mainly uses canon and our own material though we still use some legends.

If you have any questions or need any help fixing these issues, please let me know.
 

Dread

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Please remove all descriptions of your tech from the profile. You may want to edit them in the future and it's easier to monitor edits in the actual tech write up threads. That includes the description of your dual-phase saber. It's a dual-phase saber and works the same as every other dual-phase saber on the site. If you want it to be different in anyway, that includes aesthetically, it will require it's own write up. Though if the difference is only aesthetics then the write up goes in the Gentech forum.

Secondly, feeding does not prolong your characters life; please re-read the PM I sent you about Force Wound. And Force Push does not require extreme concentration. I'd feel more comfortable if you'd remove all Force Power descriptions from your profile. Though if you want you can submit a write up for Force Wound in the Lore forum then link to it in your profile.
 

Kur Harwutma

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@Dread

Didn’t mean for it to sound like a lifespan extending buff. It should be more clear that it’s to keep his body from being consumed by the wound. Hopefully these new changes are apparent. I removed the description, I just wanted to make clear his inexperience with the push skill.

@Raydo @Relent

Pray for me...
 
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Logan

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So I think you're pretty close. Just a few questions yet

Force Wound
When life is lost, it leaves a scar. No one knows that better than Jedi and Sith. Opening the wound isn’t simple and almost always accidental. Those with force wounds are cursed to have a hunger they can never fill. Afflicted will kill and absorb the power of force sensitive individuals to stop their own body from being consumed by it.

So I don't really understand what this means, or what it would be listed as one of his primary attributes. Elaborate?

Also just keep in mind while powers like force drain are canon on the site, your character is level 1 and wouldn't be proficient in their application at all. I am unsure of drain knowledge's application or use on the site at the moment, so it may be best to remove that one for now. You could always submit a lore article for it yourself to give it a solid foundation of application.
 

Kur Harwutma

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@Raydo

Force wound is briefly mentioned in the Force Drain Lore Page. To truly understand the full extent outside of Admin approved functioned go to http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Wound_in_the_Force

Drain Knowledge is similar to the other drain skills as it requires consentration and causes adverse reactions to the victim. If it’s okay with you, I’ll just put a strike through it till a proper lore article is formed.


My defense:

After speaking with Admins I am not allowed to have most of the abilities associated with it: Extended lifespan, corruption of area around them, and constant life Drain. Instead it is like an anti-nexus point. Here the force is siphoned from the universe. Ongye had the misfortune of surviving Ilum and its resulting deaths of countless force sensitives created a vergence (Star Wars term) which would be akin to the death of the force itself. Ongye only is able to absorb force energy from people using the force Drain skill. However, since I’m using it as a pseudo proxy for negating it’s effects I would like to use it on captured or recently deceased players/npcs; until a higher rank is achieved. Once a proper lore page is added, other features of this ability will be accessible.
 
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Logan

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It would be best to remove drain knowledge entirely until it has a proper write up. Since it hasn't been used (as far as I know) or referenced in canon materials, it's hard legends stuff. So it needs a proper write up on the site and for clarity it's best if it doesn't appear in a character sheet until then.

As far as the force wound is concerned, as long as you heed this then you should be good and I think your character is ready to play.

Your character is allowed to have Force Wound, with the understanding that it is only an insatiable hunger that drives him to kill other Force users. It does not effect anyone else when he's near them, he cannot inflict it on others and it provides him no advantage. When he uses Force Drain to feed, it must be used exactly as it is written in our lore write-up.
 
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