Ask Nar Shaddaa Move Along

[The Storyteller]

Floor 6
Crux
The Devaronian

Spoiler: Music OOC [Recurring]

"..."
One dude looks at the other like a visored Mandalorian looks at a lover.

“M-Made a whole script? Ya serious?”
What does Mr. Kriffface think this even is?

“Look DUDE I have met some serious Sith Jawas in my time so doncha EVEN.”
That was the end of that sentence.

This clearly wasn’t Ratheon.
The Dude even SAID he wasn’t that man.
Dude points at helm.
Another dude points at himself.

“Name’s Chell—”
Other dude began to walk out of whatever hell he had found.

“WAIT COME BACK”
Words go unheard between dude and man.

“We don’t need a script for THIS part!”
-BLAM!-BLAM!-BLAM!-
Fly the bolts from one man’s firearm.

@Sicadorito

 

[Endyr Ratheon]

Floor 4
Endyr
The Dressellian

Spoiler: Music OOC [Recurring]

What the hell’s a di’kut?
Better question: What the hell’s a Ki’dut?

-BOOM!-

That was the sound of a bomb going off, Endyr always thought.

His grenade paved the way.
Now here’s your Mandalorian to save the day.

He thrusts himself inside the room after it goes boom.
Things are vibrating left and right.
It’s tight.
Red hot energy licks and kisses a Mandalorian’s feet and…yeah something’s not right.

-PEW!-PEW!-PEW!-

After lasers are exchanged there’s a window that some grenade made and a Mandalorian dives through.

“No one escapes me, drukhead,” the Mandalorian said, standing on the floor beneath the floor that was not really there anymore.
Raises a blaster, levels a head.
“I am your death.”

-POP!-POP!-
-POP!-POP!-

Four pops but only one body drops as two bolts fly overhead.

It’s a Mandalorian.
Toward the floor again.
Only he wasn’t falling, wouldn't fall yet.
Had another Mandalorian to kill and she wore red.

A forward roll follows a blaster bolt.
A Mandalorian moves across the hall and comes out of his roll.

He’s feet away from the feet of his enemy.
Remembers his own feet back in that office.

Squeezes a trigger, casts a grin, spits a flamethrower at his enemy’s feet like a hot kiss.
There’s fire inside the Mandalorian.
Also perhaps inside maybe more than just a Dressellian’s feet, so to speak?

@Sicadorito

 

[Crux]

The moment Crux heard shots he dropped down and rolled to the side to avoid them. However, one still grazed his pauldron, but at least it didn’t hit flesh. Still. Sith Jawas? Was that even a thing?

“What the hell, Chell?” It was only after the words came out that he realized they rhymed, but he didn’t have time for poetry. Pulling out his own blasters as he got up behind the door that led to the stairs, he aimed to shoot when he suddenly felt the building shake. A muffled explosion sounded from below, and he heard pieces of metal and rock crashing down.

“Kark! What is the Mando doing?!” The moment he regained his footing though, he would fire a shot at Chell’s head, dropping into a half-crouch as he prepared himself for the Devaronian’s next move if he survived.

@Die Shize

 

[The Storyteller]

Floor 4
Endyr
The Dressellian​

What the—

The Mandalorian dove, rolled, and the Dressellian’s bolts missed each time.

Rajko didn’t have time to process what the Mandalorian was doing before he suddenly felt a searing pain in his right arm. A blaster fell to the floor as soon as the flames licked at his boots, and this time his legs really were on fire. Another blaster fired, not his own, and a second stab shot through his lung.

For the first time, he felt what it was like to be on the receiving end of one. White filled his vision, but he wasn’t done yet.

With his last remaining strength, Rajko’s left hand gripped the hilt of the dagger at his side. The Mandalorian was right in front of him now, his own doing, and it would be his demise. He stabbed forward at the Ratheon’s neck, if it was the last thing he would do.

@Die Shize

 

[The Storyteller]

Floor 6
Crux
The Devaronian

Spoiler: Music OOC [Recurring]

“Hey that’s Chell to you, buddy!?”

Kriff this guy think he is?
Some Naboo teaspoon princess?

Nobody called Chell “Chell”.
DUH!
They either called him “Chell” or they got the hell out of…huh.

“KARK MY ELBOW NUGGETS”
Cried a Devaronian who had clearly maybe lost his nuggets?

He tries to balance himself.
Spots a shelf.
Hates it.
Loves it too.
Like he both hates and loves himself…oh, poor you.
Roses are red, violets are blue.

I’M A DEVARONIAN AND I’M COMING FOR YOU.

Glad for a broken chair.
Idea that came outta nowhere.
It breaks just in time for a crazy man to land on his ass as a bolt flies over his head—overhead.

“HEY KRIFFACE!”
Casts a grin.
Devious thing.
“YA LIKE GRENADES!?”

-SLING!-

@Sicadorito

 

[Endyr Ratheon]

Spoiler: Music OOC [Recurring]

Dog?
No.
Bird?
Nope.
BURN.
Burn is the word.

Sometimes a Mandalorian liked to watch his enemies die.
Sometimes a Mandalorian liked to watch his enemies get set alight.
DIE IN FIRE.
Thought this smiling guy.

In hindsight, Endyr had no idea how he managed to cover about fifteen feet in the same space (not time) it takes to cover five but then again he had no idea what any of this narrative even means.

Wait…who’s the dead di’kut in my head again?

…You can hear me, or am I wrong?

Moving along.

Turns out this Dressellian was built a bit like a Herglic.
Would definitely have a nasty case of sunburn in the mernin’.

The Mandalorian was in front of the Dressellian now.
Wow…that Dressellian just won’t go down!
Grenades.
Flames.
Blaster bolts flying out of no man’s lane.
Random stabs to the lung.
But, as a Mandalorian would say, there is no escape, no, you just can’t run.

The dagger came like a Ranger in a maze—what is it with daggers and Daggers these days?—but a Mandalorian was ready to play.

Dog’s left hand grips the hilt of a dagger at his side—goes in for the stabby-stab.
Mando’s right vambrace comes up to block—gives that left arm a whack.
Mando’s left vambrace opens a blade that gives a kiss to the dog’s chin—through the mouth and into the brain, as a matter of fact.

Another dead dog.

A Mandalorian marches on.

“Di’kut, ya there?”
Queries into comm.
“Mr. Crisp had a message on him. Something about a Duros who might just be our captain.”
He hoped this donut named Krud was listening.
“You didn’t pass him on your way in, did ya, kid?”

@Sicadorito

 

[Crux]

The grenade came flying at him and Crux’s instinctive reaction was to throw up his hands to try and block it. However, when it came to a clatter at his feet, smoke began to spew out of it, soon covering up the entire room. He wouldn’t have been able to see at all if not for his thermal vision, which he promptly switched on as soon as the room began to darken.

“You know, I think I might!”

And there, in red, was the Devaronian who thought he had the upper hand.

Crux got behind a rack, firing twice at Chell’s left shoulder, followed by another two at his right. You’re not going anywhere, bud. As far as he knew, the Devaronian didn’t have any infrared to help him out, so the bolts would look like they were coming out of thin air. Quite literally.

Just then, he got a message from his comms, and Crux frowned.

“You’re serious? ‘Course I did. I thought you said the cap was up here!” It had been the Duros the whole time? He could have avoided all this, but now he had to finish it up. “Bit busy, though...”

@Die Shize

 

[The Storyteller]

Floor 4
Endyr
The Dressellian
​

The rest felt like a haze. Rajko’s arm was knocked aside, the blade fell out of his hand, and he heard the arrival of another. Except, once more, it wasn’t his.

I failed.

He didn’t have time to process the blade shooting up from his chin into his skull— by then he was gone. White turned to black and he lost all feeling, no pain, no fear… only a flickering feeling of regret before he slumped to the floor and didn’t get up again, eyes staring into nothing as the Mandalorian walked away.

Just another dead dog, blindly loyal to the end.

@Die Shize

 

[The Storyteller]

Floor 6
Crux
The Devaronian

Spoiler: Music OOC [Recurring]

Oh was this great.
Too kriffin’ good.
Just karkin’ excellent, realy, kriff it.
Chell was lovin’ this.
Saw a guy, gave him a kiss—
lol no way hey wait more like a karkin’ FIST grenade kinda kriff-stick...somethin'-ish?

“HEY WAIT WAIT WHAT IN THE CHOKIN’ CHICKEN KARKKRIFF IS THIS KRIFFIN’ DRUK!?”
A smoke grenade!?
Kriff is this!?
Chell didn’t throw a karkriffin’ smoke grenade.
SO LAME.

“I THOUGHT I THREW A KARKIN’ BURNT TACOOOOOO—”
Something something queue a Devarionian who had lost one to many tacos like a Mandalorian’s prisoner loses toes.

WE'RE BEING ATTACKED.

“—OH NOOOOOOO—”
Chell backflips across the desk but he rolled a six instead of a seven and somehow that means the bolt takes out a piece of ass and two of his toes because galactic mathematics and all that jazz.

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!”
How he screamed!
You would have loved it.

The desk spared the rest of the Devaronian but things could change in a coffee duck’s quackin’ heartbeat.
BLOODY HISTORY. I WAS NEVER QUALIFIED TO BE A DOCTOR ANYWAY.
Yeah this guy’s a bit of a quackjob.

“KARK MY SEVERED FINGERS”

Back to the desk, Chell spots the stapler he had been missing for some time.
It’s red.

“I HAVE THE POWER”
Chell began, screaming like a mad man.
“OF A DECAPITATED ELEPHANT”

Trying to distract the karkin’ Deucalian with a spaceship for a helmet.
While free fingers grab that script-killin’ kriffin’ comlink and call for reinforcements.
Be on their way any minute.
It was a dancing puppy who replied—Something about a hippo in a clinic?
Mildly suspicious.

@Sicadorito

 

[Endyr Ratheon]

Spoiler: Music OOC

"I thought you said the cap was up here!”
“Thought wrong, Donkey Kong.”
What did the Mandalorian tell this idiot about thinking again?
“I said the target should be on Floor 4 or 6.”
Kriffing karker of a cupcake could appreciate that if his skull wasn’t so thick.
“Hope you’re not busy rubbing your nipples. If so, put yer shirt on, son, ‘cause here Daddy comes!”

Endyr Ratheon’s father was a Mandalorian.
As much of a man as one.
As Mandalorian as they come.

When a son screwed up?
Incoming uppercut.
Father had to be tough, had to be sure.
That the son would grow up to be one tough mother kriffer.

There’s your Mandalorian.
And there’s your di’kut.

“Heads up, di’kut!”
A Mandalorian comms over to his no-more-than-a-friend but not even that yet.

-KA-SHOOM!-KA-KOOM!-

That was the sound of a ceiling falling apart...Endyr always thought?
Words are hard.

“POPCORN!”
Cries a Mandalorian as he falls through the floor again.
Twin buckethead handguns creating caskets for death.

-POP!-POP!-POP!-POP!-POP!-POP!-

Lots of popcorn in a corridor where bodies now fall to the floor.
So much for reinforcements.

“Hurry up with your boyfriend, cadet!”
Some Chell was screaming about electric bread.
"We gotta captain to get!"

@Sicadorito

 

[Crux]

The Devaronian screamed, and there was a little extra red now on the ground and on his feet. Crux didn’t have time to ask him what power a decapitated elephant had before he fired again at the man’s hand holding something blue, and then two more times at his head. He didn’t want to get too close— Chell obviously had a screw or two loose in his brain and it would be best to keep his distance.

“I’m trying!” The bounty hunter bit back a retort as the Mando urged him to hurry up, and he heard blaster fire from below. Must be the reinforcements. What used to be, anyway. Ratheon was good for something, at least.

Slowly making his way closer to Chell, though making sure to stay out of sight in the haze of the smoke, Crux would aim two shots on either side of him before shooting two more at his chest too.

“Dodge that, sleemo," he muttered under his breath.

@Die Shize

 

[The Storyteller]

The Devaronian

Spoiler: Music IC

“OH WOW I NEVER KNEW THAT TOAST WAS MADE OF FINE CHINA”

Okay reinforcies oughtta be here to kick some butt in about as long as it takes for someone to shut the karkin’ stereo up.
Granted the tune was catchy but a Devaronian had no time to be dancing.

A Devaronian had gone to Coruscant once upon a time.
Asked a policeman if there was any slots open at the Lok Chok Coca Soda?
Got a blank look, bit of a stink eye…
Stole a Herglic’s tadpole and a video game of that bounty hunter bub, Boba.

“HMMM CLUB SANDWICH WITH NUNION RINGS”

-PEW!-PEW!-PEW!-

This kriffing Mandalorian Ranger just wasn’t playing around!
Yeah must be a bit of a quackjob, doc.

Fortunately Chell was behind his desk clutching a red stapler with suspiciously missing fingers bleeding red.
The pain was intense but a deadly Devaronian has two horns on his head.
Bet.

Then a computer explodes, displaced, imparts karkin’ sparks all over a Devaronian’s pretty pink face.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!”

A Devaronian gets up, a bit oblivious to his comlink going off—
Something about a long lost Bothan and a dog named Moff?

Tries to stand in one place.
He’s still screaming by the way.

-LAUNCH!-

“I WANT YOUR LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—”

Chell does his best to hurl his limping legs forward toward the elephant in the room, that di’kut in a helmut.
Reinforcements have arrived.

Unfortunately Chell is too much of a lunatic to know what walnut pie even tastes like.

“—OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE—”

@Sicadorito

 

[Endyr Ratheon]

Spoiler: Music OOC

By the time a Mandalorian entered yet another storage room—fifth time in one sitting? Sixth, not counting?—one di’kut’s bolts had shredded the other di’kut and shut that karkin’ stereo up.

Krups hadn't wasted any time taking another life and making someone else die.
I mean, for a chickendruk di'kut, all right.

Kriffin’ Devaronians.
Their horns got in under this Mandalorian's skin.
Literally in.
What was his name again?
Guy was a dick.
A horn had torn across a Mandalorian’s back.
Trimmed the hairs and all—left a nasty gash.

A Manadalorian blinks himself back to reality from behind his visor.
Glad to have it; those black wings and that third eye, sir.

“He dead, pops?”
-POP!-
Another bolt pokes a Devaronian in the head.
“Yeah he’s dead.”

Meanwhile the captain was alive but had already fled.
Thanks to a jackass named Crus who couldn't count past ten.

“Let’s see…”
Seconds were as precious as younglings, foundlings and the babies that precede.
A Mandalorian man’s vambrace spans a map’s scan as a hand advances and plans.
“Take a left, another left, head east, right, right, go north, no, east, shut the kark up and I got good news, di’kut.”

Puts the map away.
Holds up an invisible chain.

“You get to be the bait.”

@Sicadorito

 

[Crux]

If Chell wanted love, it was tough love he got in the form of blaster bolts through his brain. Crux saw another figure enter the room and he tensed up, ready to shoot again before he realized that it was none other than Endyr. He didn’t know if he was happy to see him or not— this job was already getting messier than he would have liked. He put away his blasters, stepping over to look at the map.

“Left, left, east…” He was lost there, but then Ratheon brought up the “bait” thing again. Are you serious?

“Bait? For what?” He scowled at the Mandalorian. “You don’t actually expect the captain to come out to try and find us, do you? It’ll be his cronies again, and by the time we get through them he’ll be long gone. We’ll never find him at that rate.” He didn’t even know what Endyr wanted the captain for. As the hired muscle, it wasn’t his place to ask, but he didn’t want to have to end up going on some wild bantha chase to find this Duros he didn’t know the significance of. Unless he got more credits, of course.

“If this plan fails and the Duros isn’t there, I want ten percent more. I was bait for you once and if you want me to do it twice it’s gonna cost extra.”

@Die Shize

 

[Endyr Ratheon]

Spoiler: Music OOC

Dank ferrik what a dumbass.
Didn’t he pay attention to the map?
Evidently he just preferred to stand still and yap his trap.
Good thing he ain’t gettin’ paid—no credit, no chit, no chip, no cap.

“I’ll give you fifteen percent more for causin’ a scene and leavin’ you in it.”
He shrugged. A Mandalorian was good at this.

Pistol out, checks the pack, puts it back, turns around.
“Speaking of which, the friendly neighborhood bumbling idiot patrol will be here any crumbling minute.”

This was dangerous territory for sure.
Unlikely for local law to show up anytime soon over a couple of spilled grenades.
Granted, the asshats had it coming.
A disease, everyone of them, and Mandalorians were the cure.
A people united by war, undivided by race.

A Mandalorian knew his place.
If he soon did not, Crux would soon face the same fate as all those dead dogs in the grave.

“You’re the bait, I’m the shark, this is the way and we all have a party to play.”
Endyr holds up his arms, empty hands, wrist kisses wrist, disarms the man with this next part.
“Fortunately, you caught the Mandalorian who kriffed this place up in all its glorious ruckus.”
That invisible chain would soon become a pair of stuncuffs that a Mandalorian would break out of.

“They’ll reel you in, think you’re some lucky punk who caught the buckethead with a win-win...win.”
Instead of a di’kut chump with a bad haircut.
“Then they’ll get bit by a blaster’s uppercut.”
Shrug.
"And the Captain might just get a kiss from Luna and then some."
What Mandalorian didn't name his gun?

@Sicadorito

 

[Crux]

To his surprise, Endyr offered fifteen percent. He was being quite generous, more so than anyone else he’d met, and that made him suspicious. But he would worry about that at the end— if he didn’t pay up, then Crux would put all the effort he’d put into this and more to track him down.

The stuncuffs were a nice touch, and the bounty hunter smirked.

“Alright, then. Let’s see how this goes. Hopefully they already have a bounty on your head so I can get double the pay.” He was only half-joking. But I don’t go back on deals.

Putting the cuffs on Endyr and making sure that they looked tight but really weren’t, he would make his way down the stairs, heading for the door. As expected, the entire cantina was now empty, but as soon as they found their way outside he saw that the streets were not.

Three Weequay waited outside, blasters in hand as they saw the Mandalorian and the bounty hunter.

“Stop right there! Who are you?”

“This how you thank the one who stopped the Mando from trashing your place even more? Show some courtesy.” The three men exchanged impressed glances.

“How’d you do it? I heard Mandalorians were tough to beat.”

“It was no big deal. Shoot some, stab some. This dude’s more bark than bite. Thought he was the shark and I was a fish and turned out the other way around.” Crux grinned from behind his helmet as the Weequay turned to talk amongst themselves again. Soon, they’d come to a decision, and the first one spoke again.

“The captain’ll want to see this. Come on, let’s go.”

@Die Shize

 

[Endyr Ratheon]

Spoiler: Music OOC

Crutch definitely had his wits about him.
Di’kut just must’ve just had ‘em in his pocket or sommat.

“I’m a Mandalorian in the wrong neighborhood, genius, ‘course I gotta bounty on my head.”
Rolls his eyes behind his visor.
“But the bounty hunters tend to end up dead.”
And I don’t make deals with dead men.

Putting the cuffs on Endyr and making sure that they looked tight but really weren’t, Kommandant Klutz proved to be more useful than a pair of stuncuffs, not too much, but enough to not be as useless as used up bubblegum.

Three Weequays later and there’s your Mandalorian again.
Only this time he was playing the prisoner of his future best friend.
Except that a Mandalorian’s last best friend had his neck snapped for failing to listen.

Turns out Di’kut didn’t just have a sore thumb up his butt.
He talked his way through the Three Amigos and onward our heroic duo go.

A Mandalorian is flanked by a Weequay either side.
Corridor’s wall left and right.
Captain Crumb at his back.
A forward floor, door in front, led to Captain Jackass.

“Hold the ki’dut right there.”
Weequay jackass needed to practice his Mando’a fast.

“It’s di’kut, di’kut.”
And that was a left hook.
Pretty kriffin' stupid in this Mando’s book.

Fist hits helmet.
A Mandalorian doesn’t hit back but will remember that.

“Open sesame.”

Through the doorway was a room otherwise quite so plain.
A Mandalorian saw another office, soon to be burnt and lost.
Like that Duros.
Another dead dog…

"HOOO there he is! Three to five, seven to nine, heyyyy!"
The fat Captain rose with a grin.
On his desk was a bottle of gin.
A Mandalorian thought that gin tastes like piss.
"Sony Toprano! You got business?"

The Captain was mysterious.
Had a grin, but still so serious.
I don't like this.

@Sicadorito

 

[Crux]

Crux almost felt sorry for the Weequay when he punched the Mando. He wouldn’t last long afterwards.

But, he had more important things to worry about and right now that was Captain Duros in front of him. He still didn’t know what Endyr wanted with him, but his instructions were clear in that he wanted him alive. For now.

“I’ve got business,” he confirmed, giving Endyr a semi-rough push on the back so that he was standing right in front of the desk. “Here’s the Mando that was causing a ruckus. I was told to bring him to you.” He wasn’t lying.

The Duros grinned, hoisting himself up from his seat and slapping one hand on the desk as he wiggled a finger from the other.

“Ahh, you’re a smart one.” Crux didn’t say anything, only looking back from his visor. “You’re the guy who wanted those cigs, aren’cha? You have a strange way of asking for a discount.” A lighter clicked, and a cigar lit up as the Duros blew out a puff of smoke.

“Effective, though. Ratheon’s more trouble than he looks. Must be a hell of a fighter if he lost to you so quickly.” He looked at the pair out of the corner of his eye before he turned curiously to Endyr, a smirk on his face.

“How do you feel about this, hm? You’ve had some rough treatment today, buddy.”

@Die Shize

 

[Endyr Ratheon]

Spoiler: Music OOC

How does a Mandalorian feel about this, hm?
A Mandalorian feels like he’s taking photos of this office from behind his visor.
Oh yes.

Eyes that flash brighter.
Ears that hear higher.

A Mandalorian had come far on his journey.
Things, beats, few regrets, like drums in a sun ring.
Violin strings, clarinets, guitar strum, cello’s thrum.
Now he had to make sure he did not leave on a gurney.
Especially a yellow one.

Look how far he got?
Jackpot.

Di’kut Duros wags his jackass tongue.
'Ahh, you’re a smart one.'
And you're a dead dog.

Turns out that the Dressellian’s office…
And the Devaronian nutcase's office…
Were far removed from the office where a Mandalorian needed to be.
Spots a restroom.
Good. Get done with this. Take a piss. Home free.

Captain Toprano had to go.
Captain Crunch?
No loose ends, son.

For now, a Mandalorian must play dumb.

“How does a Mandalorian feel about this, hm?”
A Mandalorian looks left.
Looks right.
Dead men.
Die.

“I feel like a freak on a leash and a guy who’s gotta take a leak.”
A Mandalorian expresses himself by shrugging.
Don’t lemme go just yet, Clucks, keep hugging.

“Where is the bitch?”
A Mandalorian asks a snitch.
“The one in gold."
Tilts his head to the pitch.
"The woman in red.”

@Sicadorito

 

[Crux]

The Duros laughed, a hearty chuckle that sounded more like a guffaw in Crux’s opinion. He ended up wheezing at the end, then coughed as he nearly spat out his cigar and pounded a fist on the table. Chill out, dude. Crux had no idea what the man found so funny. Maybe it was this mysterious woman in red?

“Are you talking about Praxor? You’ve gotta be kidding.” The captain finally caught his breath, patting his stomach as he fell back into his seat. “You are in no place to be asking questions, my man. Or should I say Mando!” He smirked, eyes flicking over to the bounty hunter as if looking for his approval for his joke.

“Ha.” That was the most he would be getting.

“Your friend gets it! See, you’re my Mando now. Your fate is up to me. So no trash-talking the ones who pay me, ya hear?” He opened his mouth, letting another mini cloud of smoke waft to the ceiling.

“This the reason you came looking for me? To find your girlfriend? You could have just asked, you know.”

@Die Shize