Mirak Licnev (revised)

[Overseer]

NAME: Mirak Licnev
FACTION: Knights of Anki
RANK: Shield
SPECIES: Kiffar
AGE: 22
GENDER: Male
HEIGHT: 6'8
WEIGHT: 224
EYES: Forest Green
HAIR: Forest Green
SKIN: Dark Brown
CREDITS: 1,000 credits
DISTINGUISHING MARKS: Six large cuts on his face. three left slant, three slant right. A marking in the center of his forehead
DOMINATE HAND: Ambidextrous
FORCE SENSITIVE: Yes

STRENGTH: Mirak is strong enough to carry up to eight hundred pounds
DEXTERITY: Light on his feet and able to maintain a 16 mph running speed
CONSTITUTION: Mirak is highly resistant to most poisons and withstands pain well
INTELLIGENCE: Mirak knows very little aside from combat and machines. He is only able to speak basic and understand binary.
WISDOM: High sensitivity to the Force enables him to tell when the Force and those sensitive to it are nearby.
CHARISMA: The scars on his face cause many people to run at the mere sight of him, preventing him from being social.

FORCE POWERS:
Force Speed, Force Cloak, Telepathy, Telekinesis, Force Item

SKILLS:
Mirak is able to interact with any electronic/mechanical device and modify it in a number of ways. Also a very stealthy individual.

Weaknesses:
His undying need to protect others sometime places him in very dangerous situations. Mirak sees through the Force and is unable to see any distinguishing quality of a living being outside of an image, because of this his combat reaction time is slower than most. Mirak refuses to use weapons, believing it is better to defeat a foe with your own strength, not with tools.
Strengths:
Extensive stealth and combat training. He is also a highly skilled mechanic. Due to his High sensitivity to The Force, Mirak has the ability to see how The Force move through someone when they activate a power and commit it to memory, in essence learning the basis of that power.

GEAR:
Mirak carries no weapons or devices of any kind. He wears black loose fitting pants, a Dallorian alloy mesh, hooded vest and a pair of Force attuned gloves, given to him by a Miralukan Force Master. These gloves, augmented through The Force, can withstand lightsaber strikes.

SHIP:
Mirak pilots a self-modified fighter-class ship. As well as a courier-class ship given to him by Mako Aluria

PERSONALITY:
Mirak is a seemingly dark person, due to the loss of he fiance. Further examination will reveal that his "dark" nature is simply a deep rooted need to protect those who are unable to protect themselves. If aware of any being stronger than himself (to protect those who could be harmed by that being in the future) he will strive endlessly to reach, if not surpass, that being.

HISTORY:
Mirak Licnev is from a planet behind The Veil, in the Abron system. The youngest son of a great soldier, his people are a very combative sub-race of Kiffar. From a young age, they are taught various combat styles both unarmed and armed, so that by age 14, they are ready to join the countless battles that take place across the planet. As a child Mirak was tormented for his lack of combat prowess due to his impaired vision, after overcoming this inborn setback, he vowed to make it so no one could ever say he wasn't strong enough to do anything ever again. Training relentlessly and carrying out orders without fail, he truly believed he was helping people. At which point, he developed a 'need' to protect others. After years of extensive and strenuous training, Mirak was ranked no. 2 in the military.

He met his future fiance after blacking out during a mission. She calmed his spirit and showed him that there was more to life than fighting and following orders. He left the military to make a family, only to have it ripped away, when his village fell victim to a surprise attack from the enemy, which claimed the life of his love and left his village in ruins. Devastated by the death of his fiance and the destruction of his village, Mirak discovered a military officer gave away the village's secret location. In an attempt to confront the man responsible, it was revealed that his village was a failed peace offering to the enemy. Outraged by the betrayal Mirak destroyed the facility that wrote up the term, and the officials who signed off on it. Afterward he departed his homeworld, no longer wanting any part of it.

Upon crossing The Veil, he felt weak. Barely able to maintain consciousness he narrowly escaped a crash landing on the Miralukan homeworld of Alpheridies. A scouting party found him and brought him the main city. The council reviewed the scouters report, which also contained a medical examination. The medical report revealed that something had affect his body weakening his muscles and altering his brain activity. After he regained consciousness, Mirak was summoned to the council where it was uncovered that he was from The Veil and knew nothing of this Galactic Republic or the Force. The council decided, due to the circumstances, that Mirak would be granted citizenship. One council member Mako Aluria offered to house Mirak and suggested he learn what the Force was, how it worked, and how to use it. While learning he showed promise, in society he was a great help offering aid wherever and whenever he could. He gained the trust of the council and after two years, had learned enough to use minor powers. Realizing that this was merely the tip of the iceberg, Mirak felt a rush that he hadn't felt in a while. He was again determined to be the best. He began preparations for a journey, the council granted him a courier-class ship and an astromech droid to aid him.

KILLS:

ROLE-PLAYS:

 

[Matt]

Given it a quick scan and seems ok.

I would like to know the actual species though.

 

[Galykia]

Definently an improvement, keep it up and all will be good.

 

[Ols]

It's better but it still has issues I think you should address.

STRENGTH: Mirak is strong enough to carry up to eight hundred pounds
DEXTERITY: Light on his feet and able to maintain a 16 mph running speed
CONSTITUTION: Mirak is highly resistant to most poisons and withstands pain well
INTELLIGENCE: Mirak knows very little aside from combat and machines. He is only able to speak basic and understand binary.
WISDOM: High sensitivity to the Force enables him to tell when the Force and those sensitive to it are nearby.
CHARISMA: The scars on his face cause many people to run at the mere sight of him, preventing him from being social.

Strength: No. The average male weighs 190lbs. And the average male is not light. No way could you lift four guys that size and then some, let alone "carry" them.
Dexterity: 16mph is extremely fast to maintain for any sufficient time tbh.
Constitution: Why is he resistant to poisons? How has he learned to have a high pain threshold? You need to justify every part of a character, just like in real life every trait and attribute has a reason in a person, so too must your RP char.
Intelligence: Fine, I suppose. But intelligence is more about how well you can learn, adapt and understand stuff, rather than how much you know.
Wisdom: Wisdom has little to do with the sensing of force sensitives, it's about experience in affairs and situations and how well you can judge them etc.
Charisma: Most people wouldn't judge someone just because of scars, unless they were utterly horrific, like burn scars, and although physical features can determine the extent of someone's charisma, the mental side of it is more important to it.

FORCE POWERS:
Force Speed, Force Cloak, Telepathy, Telekinesis, Force Item

SKILLS:
Mirak is able to interact with any electronic/mechanical device and modify it in a number of ways. Also a very stealthy individual.

Force cloak is an extremely advanced power imo. I've never heard of "Force Item".
As for skills, how has he acquired this skill with machinery?

Weaknesses:
His undying need to protect others sometime places him in very dangerous situations. Mirak sees through the Force and is unable to see any distinguishing quality of a living being outside of an image, because of this his combat reaction time is slower than most. Mirak refuses to use weapons, believing it is better to defeat a foe with your own strength, not with tools.

You can see perfectly well by seeing through the force. The blue, red and white shadows of the Kotor games is really just to give something different to the game. Force sight is better than regular sight, as it shows you so much more about a person as well as their appearance.

Strengths:
Extensive stealth and combat training. He is also a highly skilled mechanic. Due to his High sensitivity to The Force, Mirak has the ability to see how The Force move through someone when they activate a power and commit it to memory, in essence learning the basis of that power.

How has he learned to be a mechanic?
He can learn a power instantly by watching someone else use it? No, sorry.