Lost

[Raz Solus]

[ooc: ded disable dw kinky]​

The passage of time was impossible to tell, and yet each moment was excruciating. Her mind was a black abyss save for the abrupt flash of memory that cut in like a fragmented shard that once belonged to an ornate mosaic. She saw fire, blood and smoke in it. She saw the pained and anguished faces of people that were dying all around her. She saw dark shadows and figures, but none of it had meaning. She saw faces, so many faces, faces that looked to her as if she had purpose. As if she knew the way, as if she had the answers.

To this day, she couldn’t understand why they looked at her so. Who was she? She had been in this prison cell for so long that days blended together. She was broken and her hair was shaggy mess. She was barely given enough food to sustain her day by day, her face gaunt and body frail and weak. She only had one arm, the left one nothing but a stump. She would come to the bars each day, shouting why she was here and who was punishing her.

They used to scoff and laugh, and they always acted as if she were lying. She couldn’t explain that she wasn’t, that she truly did not understand. Her voice had grown hoarse, and she no longer shouted or called out. She remained in her corner in her cell, hugging her knees to her chest with one arm. Every now and then people snuck in past authorities to gawk at her as if she were some sort of zoo animal. They were often in disbelief and made commentary about finally ‘seeing the face behind the helmet’. What helmet?

Her head ached and throbbed, those shards of thoughts piercing into her mind from all directions. She didn’t know if it was night or day, but the place was quiet now. She rubbed her eyes with her hand, pondering on the meaning behind all the tattoos that made up her body. She hadn’t eaten the gruel they had given her tonight, feeling entirely too numb inside.

Every now and then, she would wake up in a cold sweat with faces she could have sworn she had known. The dreams always slipped through her fingers like water whenever she tried to hold on, always just out of her grasp. So she sat there like she had for many days now, curled up in the corner of her cell wondering why she was punished.

@KinkyPrawn

 

[Mid Samekh]

Faint metallic tapping echoed down the hallway, with heavy footfalls slowly drawing closer and closer to the Mand'alor's cell. Finally it arrived in the hulking, armoured form of Darth Kados. In his hand was the lightsaber of a Sith she had long since felled. He came to a halt in front of her cell, his golden eyes studying her from head to toe. She was frail, malnourished, thin and weak. She looked...pathetic. From the stories told by the few Sith that have survived her wrath and the records he read, he expected her to be taller and built like a house. Seeing the supposedly mighty "Mand'alor the Chosen" like this was embarrassing. But he wasn't surprised. Not only was this an imperial prison but she was the Sith Empire's top target. One could hardly expect fair or honourable treatment in her situation.

"You know, when I had hoped to meet you face-to-face, I was hoping it would be on a battlefield...not like this." he spoke calmly, twirling "her" lightsaber between his fingers. He looked down at the sad excuse for food still untouched in front of her. "You haven't eaten?" he asked her, blinking a few times. "I suggest you do. Otherwise we'll have to force it down your throat." he suggested rather coldly. He looked off to the side and gave a nod before looking back to her. The cell door suddenly buzzed and slid open.

He drew the force through him, ready to stop her from escaping. She might look weak, but looks can be deceiving. Apparently she still didn't crack under the interrogation sessions, claiming she didn't know who she was or what they were talking about. The interrogators called it all lies. Now he had a chance to see for himself.

As soon as he entered the door slid closed behind him. "Let's start from the top. What is your full name? Where were you born?" he asked her calmly, holding the lightsaber with the emitter staring at her. He studied her, looking for any form that would hint at lies or deception. His right hand made a pinching motion, wrapping the force around her neck and slowly applying pressure. "And please, do answer truthfully." he politely ordered her.

@Sreeya

 

[Raz Solus]

She jumped up from almost having dozed off when someone arrived. She had seen this man several times, but it had been in passing. She straightened up where she sat, listening to his words as he approached her. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Why would he have hoped to meet her at all? And on a battlefield of all places? She looked down at her frail and weak body, finding it difficult to imagine herself in battle.

When he mentioned her food, she looked back at the gruel again. She didn’t bother reaching for it as he had already begun to step into the cell. She was visibly afraid now, cowering back into her corner and knowing she was about to be punished for one reason or another. He raised his hand and then it happened. That thing. The unseen pressure that she felt around her throat. It made her eyes bulge, it made her gasp for air, and it even made her unconscious on several occasions. Yet the results were always the same - she had nothing to give them.

“M-My name…” She choked her words out as best as she could manage, “...Is Prisoner 24608….I...I do not know beyond that,” She was gasping now, clutching at her neck with her one hand helplessly, “Please… Please...it is better to kill me..” She whispered hoarsely, “I truly do not kn-know...what...y-you seek,” She began to grow faint, consciousness rapidly beginning to leave her.

@KinkyPrawn

 

[Mid Samekh]

For a good few seconds he was thoroughly convinced that they got the wrong person. She cowered from him, she stank of fear, she begged him to kill her. This wasn't at all the mighty warrior he had heard so much about. With a sigh he released her from the choke. He couldn't find a hint of lies in her answers. Did she really not know who she was? "Sadly that won't be happening, Mandalorian. We can't have you die on us yet." he said flatly.

He ignited the lightsaber in his hand. The crimson blade illuminated the cell, reflecting in his eyes as he stared down at her. "24608, I need you to work with me on this. I'm finding it hard to believe that you don't know anything about who you are." he continued, extinguishing the blade. He walked over to her in her corner and crouched down in front of her.

"Listen to me." he said softly, more gently than a few seconds ago. "I know you don't want to be here. And I don't like seeing you here like this." he explained to her. "But I can't do anything to help you if you can't help me." he continued with a calm and gentle voice. He raised his hand to hold the lightsaber in front of her for her to look at in his open palm. "So I need you to think for me. And think hard. Is there anything you can tell me about yourself? Anything about your younger years? Where you grew up? The names of your parents? Anything at all?" he asked her, his eyes staring into her soul. He had hoped to come in here, start off simple and work his way up until she could give him information that they could use. But right now she didn't seem to know at all who she was. And if that were the case...well, they might have a problem then.

His fingers slowly curled around the lightsaber and clipped it to his belt. "Tell me..." he spoke softly. "Does the name 'Mand'alor' mean anything to you?" he asked her. He knew her name and that's about it. But having her not knowing anything at all was a problem. He needed to figure something out...

@Sreeya

 

[Raz Solus]

He stopped constricting her throat, and she resorted to coughing and spitting to recover. She took in deep gulps of air to breathe again, clutching at her throat. Her face was red from the assault, but even that wasn’t enough to keep her from hearing his words. She snapped up to look at him when he spoke, her eyes wide. Mandalorian? He had referred to her as such. She stared at him for a moment, barely registering what else he said.

“Mandalorian?” She gasped and repeated, “I am Mandalorian?” She said in disbelief. She couldn’t imagine it. She had faint memories of them being a warrior culture. She recalled rituals and training, but anytime her mind tried to draw more than that, she felt a splitting headache and agony in her mind. She clutched her head again, looking visibly pained.

“Mandalorian….” She repeated again, still in shock. She couldn’t imagine why he would be lying. He looked frustrated at her inability recall her memories, and she couldn’t entirely blame him. Obviously they had captured her in hopes of key information and she was an empty book. Raz rubbed her forehead as he spoke, uttering the word Mand’alor. The way he said it, it was not Basic. It was pronounced in a different way. In a way she felt was almost eerily familiar.

“Ni cuy manda….” She whispered softly before she could stop herself. She looked at him and her eyes lit up and she closed the distance between them. She only had one hand, but she ecstatically put it on his shoulder, unable to contain her excitement, the first show of emotion in her since they had seen her, “Tell me more! You are helping me! Tell me more! What did I just say? Why did I know to say that?! What did you do?! Do it again!”

It took her a moment to realize she had touched a powerful man that could easily kill her. She quickly withdrew her hand and shuffled back, once again terrified. She had crossed a line. She would die for sure now.

@KinkyPrawn

 

[Mid Samekh]

She was surprised by what he called her. As if unable to believe it. He rose to his feet again, taking a step back to see what would happen. For a while he stood in place, watching her wrestle with her mind.

All of a sudden, at the mentioning of her title, she lit up. She suddenly got new life in her and leapt up, rushing towards him. His immediate reaction was to drop the notorious killer and sure enough, his hand readied the lightsaber on his hip to ignite right through her gut. But instead she grabbed him by the shoulder, overwhelmed with joy. He calmly clipped the lightsaber back on his belt. Frankly, he expected her to jump up and down. Her joy soon melted into fear. For for him. Fear for what he could do to her.

Instead of lashing out or punishing her, he gave a slight smile. "I simply said a word. The rest was all up to you." he said simply, quite clearly avoiding her myriad of questions. She didn't need to know too much. While her memory was in tatters, she wasn't entirely useless. If he could get her to remember certain things, he might just be able to get a very valuable asset for the Empire. "And you do not have to fear me, 24608. As long as you don't disappoint me, you will have no reason to fear me." he consoled her calmly. "Maybe, if you keep up the good work, you might just get rewarded." he continued with a smile. He stepped closer to the door and with a wave of his hand it slid open. He then held a hand out towards the exit. "Care to join me for a walk?" he asked her, his golden eyes looking into her own eyes.

If she joined him, he would keep a slow pace, leading her through the hallways to another cell block of the prison. Despite the casual demeanor, he was still on high alert with her. "Tell me, 24608, have you ever heard of something called 'the force'?" he asked her as they walked. He needed a base, a foundation. If he could figure out what she did know, he might be able to make something of her. "Or, for that matter, the word 'Sith'?"

@Sreeya

 

[Raz Solus]

She had almost missed that he had a weapon on him. The sight of it sent another painful throb through her mind as memories began to come back, only to be stopped by something. She rubbed her forehead and looked up at his question. A walk? She stared at him suspiciously as the door slid open. She was more than a little wary of him doing this, especially as she had been treated quite badly prior to this.

“Y-Yes, my lord…” She wasn’t quite sure how else to address him. She meekly stepped out with him, feeling strange as she stepped out through the door in what felt like a century. She only took a few steps before she paused and turned to him, “I…. is it all right if I have a helmet?” She looked sheepish asking this, “I can’t explain why this is important to me, but as we pass by others, I’d just really like to have a helmet or mask for my face,” It was true, it was an innate desire that came from a place she didn’t understand. It was almost like a second nature or habit that she couldn’t explain.

Granted that he would oblige her request, she would begin to walk with him. As he asked about the force, she thought for a moment, ignoring that searing pain in her mind again, “I know the guards here use it on me. It’s that pressure around my neck or when I’m pushed around by an unseen object. I don’t think I possess that ability.”

When he mentioned the word Sith, she looked slightly uncomfortable, “I know I am in a Sith location. The word is troubling to me, yet I’m not sure why,” She admitted, rubbing her forehead again. She looked at him, “I know you are Sith and you have the Force, and that is a lightsaber,” She pointed at his hilt, “Have you...always been Sith? Has it made you happy?” Any of the Sith she had seen had always seemed slightly downcast or depressed.

@KinkyPrawn

 

[Mid Samekh]

He could feel the suspicion and uncertainty coming off her. He didn't blame her. The last time he was in charge of someone like this it took a good long while before she finally warmed up to him. But then again, that was an entirely different situation.

Eventually she relented and followed him through the exit. To his surprise, though, she stopped and asked for a helmet. It was fascinating to him, her asking this. Was the part about their armour being a second skin that ingrained into their being that, despite not knowing, she still craved that anonymity? Or maybe it was just her not liking people staring at her? Given his own views he wouldn't be surprised if it was a bit of both. "Tell you what..." he started, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "You help me with this one task and I'll make sure you get a helmet as well as proper food. How does that sound?" he asked her, giving her a reassuring smile.

As they walked, she explained her thoughts on the things he asked. He figured interrupting her wouldn't go down nicely, so he simply kept quiet as he walked along with a slow and comfortable pace. He chuckled at her question of him being happy. "I guess it depends on the circumstances. Though I didn't have a choice. My species is basically born into the lifestyle. As for being happy? Well most Sith have a rather cynical or...well, pessimistic view for the most part. I tend to look at more than just the bad things. I guess in a sense that does make me 'happier' than other Sith." he answered truthfully. It was an issue he had with the Order for the most part. Too many Sith moping and whinging around the place as if it's the only way to gain power. But this was neither the place nor time to complain about that.

"As for the Force, it's a lot more complex than that." he started. "It's all around us, inside us, controls our very actions. Some people, like me, can manipulate it in a way to do as we will it to a degree." he explained to her. "Most people don't have that type of control, though some get pretty damn close. You are one of those people." he said, looking at her to see her reaction. "You see, the Force is all about balance. You have people like the Sith who worship one end of it, then you have people like the Jedi who worship the other end. And no matter what we do, the force will always find a way to balance itself out." he continued, looking ahead of them again. "Five-hundred years ago, the Jedi were wiped out from existence. Suddenly, they're back. The same will happen if the Sith are wiped out somehow. It's exactly the same with the individual."

Now was the part to test her and see what she was made of. "In your past life, you were a killer. Trained, lethal, brutal and with no remorse. Countless lives were ended by you and the Force was unbalanced. But the Force demanded recompense for that imbalance. And here you stand, with no memory of any of that in a prison controlled by the people you targeted." he explained calmly to her. He was sure this was all going over her head. Either that or he was traumatizing her. Stuff like this wasn't easy to process, after all. "And I'm afraid the Force isn't happy just yet..."

@Sreeya

 

[Raz Solus]

She took in what he said without a word. She had heard of the Force spoken in many vague terms, and this was no different. Though he did a good job explaining it, it muddied the waters even more. Was there a destiny attached to the Force? Was she to abide by it even without possessing it? As he spoke of balance, she began to wonder how she could ever play a role to shift that balance. Whoever she was in a past life sounded like they had galactic wide impacts.

The realization was alarming, but she kept it to herself. She walked beside him quietly, digesting the information and not ignoring the bit about how she was imprisoned by those she had targeted. She had once attacked Sith? They wielded the Force and were far more powerful, how did she ever have the capability of doing such a thing?

“And the Sith…” She began quietly, “They were always undeserving of being...targeted, my lord?” She looked up to read his expression as she spoke. He didn’t seem entirely blinded by devotion to his cause - she picked that up right away, “I do not possess the Force, so then how can I influence it?”

She knew she was neither Sith nor Jedi, and she owed nothing to the entities both parties believed, “If the Force demands balance, is there a point to any wars? Is there a point to the Empire's cause in the face of inevitability as deemed by the Force?" She met his gaze briefly, "If you do the Force’s bidding and will, are you any more free than I am?” She bit her lip after the comment, realizing it was out of line. She looked away, not meeting his gaze.

@KinkyPrawn

 

[Mid Samekh]

Mid glanced down at her as she continued with her questions. He gave a chuckle. "You're curious. I admire that. I reminds me of myself many, many years ago." he said to her, looking ahead of them. "No, not at all. Sometimes I think they deserve more than the punishment they've endured." he commented. He glanced around to make sure they weren't being watched before leaning closer to her. "I might actually support the things you did, depending on the situation." he quietly admitted, shooting her a glance. "Just don't tell anybody I said that." he said with a chuckle.

She looked up at him as her questions continued. He raised an eyebrow as his golden eyes studied hers. "In all honesty, I do not know. Nobody does. It's not our place to question the will of the Force. As a priest all I can do is help people understand and accept it. And enact its will to a degree. Perhaps it's time for the Sith to end. Perhaps an era of peace is needed." he spoke calmly. "As for freedom? I can't say. As a believer in the force, I believe that I shall be set free and become one with it one day. But of course I might just be misguided. We'll never know." he commented, leading her on.

They reached a heavy door with two guards standing beside it. "Here we are." he commented. The guards opened the door for them and allowed them inside. Past the door was a large room with nothing in it. Nothing...except a single chair in the middle. Tied to the chair was a man with a gag to silence him. He was dressed in a peculiar armour that Raz might recognize very well in her past life. "This man was an accomplice of yours. One of your higher-ups." he explained to her, standing in front of the man. He looked at Mid with hatred, but when his gaze shifted it softened. He recognized her. He seemed relieved that she was here in a sense but also confused.

He mumbled something into the gag as Mid turned to look at her. He drew one of his heavy pistols and held it by the barrel. "Kill him." he said simply. Naturally the man's face was shocked. "You have a chance to bring balance here. To choose between salvation and damnation." he explained gently to her as the man started to scream at him through the gag. He held the pistol out to her for her to take. "Your past is behind you. Let it die." he glanced at the man then bakc to her. "Kill it if you have to."

@Sreeya

 

[Raz Solus]

She quirked an eyebrow as he came clean about his views on the Sith. She didn’t entirely know what big atrocities she had committed, so the significance of his admission was slightly lost on her. His perception on the Force was interesting, and she thought of how Mandalorians were driven by their own gods and beliefs. Unseen forces were so powerful in swaying actions and determining the fate of the galaxy.

The door opened, and a gagged man was revealed. There was fear in his eyes when he gazed at the Sith, but a flash of recognition flickered across his face when he looked at her. The Sith gave her an order and told her to execute the man. She stared at him for a long moment, seeing him look afraid at first, but it was only for a flash. In the end, he held his head up high and gazed at her, waiting for her to do the deed.

She said nothing, weighing her options. The Sith beside her could easily kill her if he wished. He held her life in his hands, and he gave her a direct order. She stared at the man for a long moment before a faint grin traced her face.

“I do not believe in the Force,” She tilted her head to look at him, “I don’t think I believed in it before, and I certainly don’t believe in it now,” Her tone was different - firmer and stronger than it had been even minutes prior. She took a few steps back away from both the Sith and the prisoner.

“If you wish to kill me for my insolence, I will be waiting in my cell,” With that, she turned her back on the Sith and made her way back towards the very place she had been craving so badly to escape. Regardless of who she was in her past, she would not butcher a bound man that once believed in her.

Perhaps that was exactly what made her so dangerous.

@KinkyPrawn