Locked Down Mode (Morbid)

[Nike]

For those of you who don't know, I work at a daycare center. Basically, my job is to sing everything I say and be okay with getting peed on. Anyways, I just came back from a staff meeting where we discussed what to do if someone starts shooting the place up. Basically, the official plan is to shove 25 toddlers into a bathroom without actual doors and pray the guy doesn't see us through the window (Which he would). MY plan is to stand in the doorway with a fire extinguisher between him and the kids, ready to brain the ****er before dying of the multiple gunshots already in my chest.

On that happy not, what would you do if a deranged shooter comes into your place of work?

 

[Chairdor]

Ah ha I've had an ingenious plan that prevents this from ever happening to me. It's called being unemployed.

 

[Phil]

I'd hope my co-worker is there because he is the last person I would ever want to mess with.

 

[Sirocco]

heh, this reminds me of a time i herd a friend (teacher) see a helper teen brat dart out with carefull consideretion of her purse and coke at hand when an earthquake struck.....other than that, i dont know what would i could think of that might not scare the poor lads and lasses dookiless.

i would probably reinforce the windows with bullet proof glass and doors only a determined man/woman would be able to brake. by the time they could succesfully do something in their little siege, the cops would come. bug in and wit for the cops.

 

[Nike]

heh, this reminds me of a time i herd a friend (teacher) see a helper teen brat dart out with carefull consideretion of her purse and coke at hand when an earthquake struck.....other than that, i dont know what would i could think of that might not scare the poor lads and lasses dookiless.

We were talking about that, scaring the kids. We decided that the first person to die would be our boss, Dan, and he would put his life in danger by calling the lock down over the intercom. Someone said, "Make sure you turn the intercom off before you get shot, the kiddies don't need to hear that."

i would probably reinforce the windows with bullet proof glass and doors only a determined man/woman would be able to brake. by the time they could succesfully do something in their little siege, the cops would come. bug in and wit for the cops.

We might be able to reinforce the windows, but we can't lock the doors. There aren't any locks on the doors. It's a fire hazard. Plus, there isn't anything heavy enough in the rooms to barricade ourselves. Well, the toddlers have play sets heavy enough, but the infants and the preshoolers are screwed.

 

[Nameless]

Install motion-detecting auto-cannons that activate it the press of a button in the event of a lock down and have the ability to reduce any of the intruders to a red mist whilst you and the kiddies wait patiently in your rooms.

 

[Rain21199]

Install motion-detecting auto-cannons that activate it the press of a button in the event of a lock down and have the ability to reduce any of the intruders to a red mist whilst you and the kiddies wait patiently in your rooms.

Hey kids look at our new sand pit

 

[Nephill Kilner]

WOW! Would never have guessed this was your occupation Nike. Child lover by day, warrior by night it seems :P

I'm trying to conjure up a mental image of you but I keep laughing haha. Maybe I'll dream bout it (Inside joke no creepiness)

As for your situation, good luck. Child centers aren't built to be defensible >.>

If someone came to my place of work, they would meet the business end of paper cutter to the neck and a combo of punches if that didn't finish the guy off

 

[Chairdor]

Maybe I'll dream bout it (Inside joke no creepiness)

[video=youtube;fzZNWqUJuA4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzZNWqUJuA4[/video]

 

[mtntopview]

Have multiple emergency exits and leave immediately.

 

[Nike]

WOW! Would never have guessed this was your occupation Nike. Child lover by day, warrior by night it seems :P

I'm trying to conjure up a mental image of you but I keep laughing haha. Maybe I'll dream bout it (Inside joke no creepiness)

As for your situation, good luck. Child centers aren't built to be defensible >.>

If someone came to my place of work, they would meet the business end of paper cutter to the neck and a combo of punches if that didn't finish the guy off

How about this image? Or this one? :CHappy

But seriously, they aren't. As we were going over the official lock down plan, my boss was literally like, "Yeah, if you're on the playground you're pretty much ****ed. Maybe, after they get Dan and the secretary in the front office, they'll miss me in the back and I can beam them from behind with a fire extinguisher. But most likely the three of us would all be dead and people on the PG are next."

Man, I wish I had a papercutter in the class. Maybe I could grab some kiddie scissors, though...Heh, or give all the kids scissors to defend themselves. "Alright, remember, you're below his line of sight. Aim for the genitals."

 

[Nephill Kilner]

How about this image? Or this one? :CHappy

But seriously, they aren't. As we were going over the official lock down plan, my boss was literally like, "Yeah, if you're on the playground you're pretty much ****ed. Maybe, after they get Dan and the secretary in the front office, they'll miss me in the back and I can beam them from behind with a fire extinguisher. But most likely the three of us would all be dead and people on the PG are next."

Man, I wish I had a papercutter in the class. Maybe I could grab some kiddie scissors, though...Heh, or give all the kids scissors to defend themselves. "Alright, remember, you're below his line of sight. Aim for the genitals."

Wow Ms. Athletic I see ^.^ Bring that handgun with you :P

Ha. But seriously that has to be one of the worst scenarios, a place that is designed to be ultra-safe...your workplace seems to be fond of pretty dark humor I see heh

 

[Nike]

Just tonight. It was pretty startling, actually, I've never seen that side of my boss before. If you don't laugh, you'll cry, right? Ever since Sandy Hook, though, theres been that thought of "Oh man, that could be us," If someone made up their mind to hurt us, we'd be worst than sitting ducks, we'd be ducks with small children strapped to our wings. It's weird to realize in that kind of situation I would have no problems stepping between a gun and my little buttheads, if only to give them a few moments to run. Sorry if I'm bringing the mood down, it's just not something I've ever fully thought through before.

 

[Jason Webb]

Not gonna lie, I hate the idea that people have to die because they have no means to defend themselves past hitting them with a fire extinguishers. I would personally step in front of any type of weapon for any of my friends if it came down to me or them, possibly even a random stranger. Because that's just who I am.

Spoiler: Hotly debated topic

If it came down to kids being shot, or the kids watching the intruder being shot, I would shoot that ****er before he/she could blink. Because no matter what you do, the mentally deranged or the heartless monsters will not be stopped by a locked door, or anything else. Laws don't matter to criminals, if they make their mind up to commit a crime, they will do it. That's why they are called criminals. The problem is we don't teach these kids the value of life. I could go into details on why this generation doesn't grasp that concept, but I won't unless specifically requested. I could rant for hours on topics such as this....

Summery, my life isn't as important as anyone else's. I wouldn't hesitate to save someone's life. But when it comes down to it, I would prefer to be armed if someone came to the door to kill me.

EDIT: to be fair, I did tag it as a spoiler, so please, don't get to upset over this, despite it not being current affairs board

 

[Black Noise]

I'd probably move to hide behind something, then seek to overpower him by any means necessary.

I work in a gymnasium, while it is for kids and 90% of the people there are either kids or defenseless parents, almost all my co-workers are badasses. One of them can throw 6'4, 210Lb people to the floor near effortlessly(yes, I've seen him do it, it was impressive), and he is 4'8, I'm not too worried.

Plus I'm positive my boss keeps a gun in his desk drawer, I just can't prove it without looking(and getting fired for rummaging through his desk).

 

[Crosby]

Learn karate.

 

[BLADE]

I'd take my dick out and cock-whip the terrorists into submission. They are brown and possibly Middle Eastern (read: because I work for the Federal Government, I can't just come right out and say that Muslims are terrorists, which they all are.) Anyhow, I whip the first two into submission, preferably while making a quip, like "I think we need to towel you off, gentlemen."

Anyhow, there's a fire extinguisher right near my office. I grab it pick it up and test its heft. I then roll for a +2 bludgeoning and crack open another terrorists' head. Blood and brain goes flying absolutely everywhere. After that, I do a few shoulder rolls. Maybe a Smash Cut to the evil terrorist holding my boss captive. I improvise by using the jagged edge of a hand drier as a knife.

The main henchmen is Sir Jonathan K. Pendleton, SAS. He's become a Jihadi after eating the most delicious (roofie-spiked) hummus ever. We knife fight and wrestle. Probably naked and in oil. Not that I'd go gay or anything. I'm just saying the guy's in really good shape.

Anywho, I drive my not at all phallus-shaped knife into his heart.

His final words are.

"I never told my family... what happened in Rhodesia..."

"Hush now, my friend. Go now to a better rest."

I corner the terrorist, go back home, have wild sex with my wife, change my daughter's diapers, take my dogs for a walk and then return to my computer. I sit down and savor a fine full-bodied Merlot. I then read the other replies and think.

Holy shit INTERNET TOUGH GUY ALERT.

And then I depart into the night, my penis rustling like a wind chime.

 

[Green Ranger]

I would freeze up, I would probably get shot, and I might die.

 

[Niklas]

If this were to happen, I'd be in a recording studio. That ****er with a gun would be getting smacked with a bass guitar. End of story.

 

[Ill-fated]

Thanks Prospero, we will all sleep better tonight with those mental images... :CAbove