Little Soul Searching

[Vash Tembra]

Another nightmare had followed the first. It was the same general idea, though: Risala, the Dark Jedi he'd faced just a few days ago, had gotten the better of him in this dream, just as she had on the previous one. This time, she did so by impaling her yellow blade deep into his chest, and he had to watch as she leapt into the distant darkness below the bridge they'd fought in, never to be seen again.

A terrible fate, to be sure, but perhaps an easier alternative to what he'd have to face now. But that was neither here nor there. Vash had an appointment, something to keep him busy today, and perhaps help him carry on with his day, and who knows? Maybe that'd help him deal with the things that were bothering him for good.

Eisa had been kind enough to lend some of her time to hear the Padawan's musings, and that wasn't an opportunity he could just let go. The Echani didn't know much about the red haired lady, save that she was an excellent pilot, and had a pretty cheery personality. That fact by itself already makes her a breath of fresh air, Vash thought, remembering the little adventure the two, along with another Padawan, had shared in space not too long ago. Why can't more people be positive? It'd make things so much simpler, but nooo, let's just be sad and mopy all day.

Such were Vash's thoughts as he entered one of the meditation rooms where he'd arranged to meet with the Knight, giving her the password he'd be using to lock the door, so only she could enter, as Vash didn't want any interruptions. The Padawan was carrying a cup of coffee in each hand, which he sat down on one of the round poof things people used in here, before locking down the door behind him. Truth was, he didn't know if Eisa liked coffee or not, but if she didn't, all the better, as he'd just gain two cups. The day was off to a good start.


@Plebometer

 

[Eisa Swan]

It seemed that every time she returned back to Jedha, sat down in her quarters within the Temple a request had came through for a consultation or mentoring session from one of the Padawans of the Order. Then again it was pretty obvious that the Knight had returned to the Temple, either by the distinct fighter being docked within the temple's hanger of the sight of a brightly dyed mass of hair moving through the halls of the Temple. Then again it could also be the presence she had in the Force, perhaps it was the combination that made her stick out like a sore thumb every time she returned to Jedha. This time it would appear that the request had came through from one of the newest members of Star Squadron, Vash. A young Echani male, who was in and about her age, give or take a few months.

Walking through the halls from her quarters to the arranged meeting place, one of the temple's many meditation chambers, the fiery haired Knight, mused what the discussion was going to centre about. The last time she had headed to the chambers to meet with a padawan, it was with Rohana to help discuss the issues she had been having with her lightsaber. Well more precisely the Kyber crystal that resided within it, the pale haired Padawan had acquired the Kyber in a auction, somewhat circumventing the natural process of selection between the Kyber and it's Jedi. She couldn't blame the older female for her drive though, she wanted to get into the fight against the Darkness as soon as possible. But the draw back was that the Kyber resisted her, despite Rohana's efforts to make the Force conduit align with her. Something that Eisa had helped mediate and resolve, somewhat unconventionally, trapping both the Kyber and it's owner in a trance, until they resolved their differences.

As for Vash? the reasoning for her summons was vague at best. But that hardly surprised her any more, in many cases the reasoning were glossed over, often for fear that the paper trail could raise suspicions that they were likely to fall to the Darkside. Fortunately most of the times, it was often just a simple case of doubt, which to the Jedi knight seemed natural - after all being exposed to the Force and its possibilities was a daunting task, something that the tenants of the Jedi Code had tried to mitigate by giving the Force users aligned with the light something to reflect on and take measure from. Something Eisa understood and appreciated, but if she was truthful, the Jedi Knight at times still sometimes did struggle with upholding, hardly a shining example of the Order, but like the others she did her best to stay true to the course of the Jedi Path, with a smile.

Approaching the meditation chamber, Eisa keyed in the access code that the Padawan had supplied her with, before the doors slid open revealing the Echani male in the centre of the chamber, with two cups of caff. A curious eyebrow raised on her features as she regarded the drinks and then the Padawan "You do know that if you wanted to meet for Caff, you could of just said the local cantina" Eisa spoke out as she stepped into the meditation chamber, before waving her hand to seal the doors shut. "But to meet in a locked meditation chamber, where the no one can hear us, would mean this is of course a matter that you wish to discuss in private?" The jedi continued as she approached the Padawan, a light grin over her features.

 

[Vash Tembra]

He felt her before he saw her, being so engrossed in meditation as he was. Vash had learned to recognize the woman's Force signature after their little adventure in Vrogas Vaas not too long ago, and started to develop this ability as much as possible when around members of the Star Squadron. In a situation of chaos, the Padawan was certain the ability to quickly find and communicate with his fellow pilots even without comms would be invaluable. It was bound to happen sooner or later, he knew, and it was best to be ready for anything.

When Eisa entered the meditation room and said her remarks, Vash couldn't help but smile, as he extended his left arm to offer her one of the cups. Eisa's attitude tended to make the Padawan feel more at ease, and today was no different. Her relaxed and easy going nature probably made her a nice target for every damn Jedi trainee in need of guidance, not only him, he suspected.

"You never know, maybe I just wanted to stand out from the rest who offer you some Caff," he replied with a little wink. "Pretty redhead like you must get plenty of attention, after all"

The Echani was keeping his tone light and playful, partially because it wasn't everyday he had the opportunity to call girls pretty, what with being a Jedi and all, so he had to take the opportunities as they came. But, frankly, that was more to distract him from what he was about to ask. Sure, he had the general idea of what he wanted to talk about, but now that the time had come, words were getting harder to come out. Just how do you explain to someone that you think you broke one of your friends, and in order to save their lifes, to boot?

"Really, though, seeing your pretty face aside, I.. uhh... also called you here because I had a little problem I thought you could help me with." Vash let out a sigh. "I'm trying to guide a friend, get her out of a pretty miserable state, that I had a hand in putting her in"

The Echani took a sip from his cup of Caff, before continuing, looking at Eisa's eyes.

"You see, there was this guy, with his gun right at my friend's head, about to shoot, and I was really far away. Wasn't sure I'd have time to get there, saber in hand, or use the Force to stop him on time- one trigger pull and my friend would be toast, after all- so I did the only reliable thing, and shot him in the head"

He tried to keep his tone as matter-of-factly as possible, simply relaying the information, but could tell it wasn't quite working. Taking a life wasn't easy, and the memories were painful. Yet, he didn't regret or doubt what he'd done. He knew it was a "do or die" situation, and he acted, to the best of his abilities.

"Anyway, now this friend thinks I'm a monster who eats little children for breakfast, or something, when I only did what I did because she managed to get herself into such a dangerous situation, and we were working together to free some slaves, after all. But now she's convinced herself that all we did was for naught, and that saving the slaves was pointless because they'll never truly be free, after all," Vash continued, letting a pause sink in as he sipped his Caff. "So, since you have a lot more experience than me, I was kind of hoping you'd be able to help take her out of this dark place she's in right now"

The Echani quickly added. "I don't mind if she hates me, or whatever, by the way, this isn't for reasons of my own ego. I just want her to be well, you know? She's a good Jedi, and would be of great help to us, if she can learn to control her feelings more. As it stands, she's just... lost, and needs guidance"

 

[Eisa Swan]

Raising a bemused eyebrow at the comment about looking to stand out, followed by the remark about being a pretty little redhead. The Jedi Knight pursed her lips in thought, before summoning the offered cup into her empty hand. "So this was a ruse then, Padawan" Eisa retorted before taking a sip from the beverage. "tricking me into coming to the meditation Chambers to seduce me" the added casting the Echani a knowing look, she could tell through the Force that the padawan was troubled, his heavy thoughts projecting out through the Force like ripples in the wake of stones being dropped in the pond.

Quietly the Fiery haired Jedi sipped away at the beverage, as she listened to the padawan air his troubles. Speaking about a fractured relationship with another Padawan, stemming from a choice that the padawan had made, that seemingly the other objects to. A light sigh escaping her lips as she sat the cup down on one of the moulded plinths, before easing herself ontop the platform and reaching back for the cup.

From her perched position, the Jedi Knight allowed the padawan to finish up, only to raise her hand up to stop him at his request. A light smile crossing her features as she shook her head, before finishing up the beverage and setting the empty cup down beside her. "So you're buttering me up to try and sweet talk your friend?" Eisa spoke out as she placed her hands over the edge of the plinth, leaning her body forwards as her bright emerald eyes focused on the Echani. "That's not exactly the way to resolve your own burdens now, is it?" she continued before turning her attention off to the side briefly in thought.

Anticipating the inevitable sense of disheartenment from the padawan by the knights rejection to speak to the padawan on his behalf, the Knight returned her attention back to the Echani male. "It is something that I can guide you through, but I will forewarn you, regardless of what you do to resolve the fractured relationship, it will take time for this Padawan in question to come to terms with your actions." Eisa explained before pursing her lips in thought.

"In time you will both come to realise that the current path the Jedi walk is not one of pacifism or peace" the Knight spoke out as she leaned forward once again, her face becoming much more sombre than her usual demeanor. "The Jedi are committed to serving collective efforts of the Galactic Alliance as you know" she continued in her explanation, pausing momentarily for the Padawan to process the guidance being offered, knowing all too well she could start rambling at any moment. "unfortunately that throws us into the path of War and conflict. Something that the Jedi order traditionally seeked to avoid"

"Now I'm by no means saying that because of this we should abandon everything that the Order stands for" Eisa resumed after a moment of reflection "I for one wish that it wasn't the case, belive me. I get no enjoyment from killing, in fact each life I have taken it weighs heavy on my mind" the Knight confessed as she lowered her head off to the side, a long sigh escaping her lips as she shook her head. "There is the understanding that outright killing without pursuing the peaceful solution, will take you into the path of the Darkside. And I will not lie, its an extremely fine line to walk" she continued before pursing her lips in thought as she mused on how to further explain this to the Padawan.

"But as Jedi, we have to be mindful of the concequences that our actions will bring. Had you not taken that shot, what would have been the outcome? You use the Force to save your companion, but because of the distance and your unrefined abilities, the slaver can see your attempts and kills her, you move your lightsaber in the slightest way, he would kill her. You try to reason with him, negotiate it is likely that he would still kill her. Because despite our best intentions we all have prices on our heads, so why would he run the risk of loosing a sizable payout?" the Knight posed as she leaned Backwards. "You did what you felt was right, and you are suffering the concequences, baring the guilt upon your shoulders. But what of those you rescued the slaves? What would the impact of your actions be upon them? Will they lead long happy lives? Will they be enslaved again? Will they become what the very thing that imprisoned them to begin with? For all you know, your actions by freeing the slaves will unleash a greater evil upon the Galaxy" she continued before pausing for a moment, only to lean forwards and closer to the Padawan. "So why did you two work to save the slaves?" Eisa questioned, with a slight curling of her lips, awaiting to hear the Echani's reasoning for rescuing the slaves

 

[Vash Tembra]

Vash chuckled lightly, meeting the redhead's bright emerald glow with his light silver eyes. "You make me sound like such a bad guy, when I've nothing but good intentions," he commented in a soft, amused tone. "I don't really want you to talk to her, this is my problem... just could use some help strategizing on what to do"

"As to what you call 'trickery', I just like to think of as being creative. Can't blame a guy for falling for all your natural charm, now, can you?", he asked playfully, before continuing "Not to mention, you even feel the same way as I do about taking lifes... sure that's how about 99% of all Jedi feel, I wager, but how many bring you Caff on a meditation chamber, hmm? I think this is fate." The Echani finished his line with a little smirk, letting silence sink in for a few moments.

Eisa had made some good points: more and more, Jedi were being turned away from peace and saddled into active service. That was important, because, you know, there was a full on evil Sith Empire ruling the galaxy... but that also meant more and more Jedi were being forced to face their demons and carry on. And many just couldn't. And who could blame them? How could one reconcile the Code with taking lifes? It was hard, and like Eisa had said, a very difficult line to walk. But it can be done, he thought. And he really felt like he'd learned how to do that.

"But, to awnser your question," he continued in a more serious tone, "it was just something I saw: this Twi'lek slave, who we'd tried to save just a few days before we raided the base where the slaves were being kept. She... was too far gone after witnessing all the violence we'd caused around her. That was bad, really bad, and hopefully she'll get over it someday. But see, the part that really got to me is I didn't do anything afterwards, just locked myself in my room like a sad puppy. Uhh, a sad, manly puppy," he added with a little smirk.

"My Padawan friend, though, she went and investigated everything, followed the leads, and thanks to her efforts, we saved countless men, women and children from being sold as slaves, right here in Jedha, at our doorstep. Not only that, but we also got a few corrupt officers arrested, and captured a Dark Jedi, to boot. All that, thanks to my friend."

There was a hint of reverence in Vash's voice, and he let that show instead of trying to control it. No matter how he felt about Sakadi, he couldn't help but feel a sense of admiration for her. The Echani still found her creepy as all hell, though.

"I learned a lot from her: that doing nothing could be just as bad, maybe worse, than doing too much. And when I shot that man to save her, I did so to preserve not only a life, but an ideal: of peace, through superior firepower. With my friend dead, I'd never have been able to rescue the slaves on my own, and her blood would be on my hands. I'm not happy with what I did, but I don't regret it, either," Vash said with a determined look on his face.

"I helped her because I felt compelled to by the Force, and humbled by her actions. She acted while I did nothing for three days. You're right, though, and even she said as much: helping them could have just caused more harm than good, I know that. But doing nothing sounded so much worse, and I know I can make this work. I'm helping them, guiding the former slaves as much as I can. Maybe I won't save them all, but I sure as hell won't just abandon them- they've got to find their own way, but I can help them figure out what the right way is, and hopefully they'll move on with their lifes."

The Echani let out a sigh, and sat a little closer to Eisa, looking the woman over for a moment before continuing.

"All I have is hope, Star Three," he continued, using her call sign playfully. "Hope that I'll get those slaves moving, hope that the Dark Jedi will be turned back to the light, hope that the law enforcers will start acting by the rules... and hope that you'll go to dinner with me. My actions of freeing the slaves physically were only the beginning... now comes the hard part, of fighting by way of words and peaceful behaviour, by example. That'll take years, but I feel I can make a difference, if I play my cards right. My Padawan friend might be a tad trickier to handle, though, she's really stubborn," he admitted. As if I didn't have enough on my hands....

 

[Eisa Swan]

Well the Padawan was persistent, Eisa had to give him that. Laying on the charm, throwing out sentiments that it was fate because they shared the same view point on certain aspects. Whilst in ordinary circumstances, Eisa would perhaps agree, there would have been some common ground. But they were Jedi after all, where things like emotional attachment were frowned upon, even though the Order was somewhat more progressive and relaxed in comparison to the Ancient Order that came before.

A light sigh escaped the Knights lips as she leaned back on the plinth, folding a leg so that one knee was crossed over the other. Her lips pursing in thought as she listened to the Padawan speak and air his mind, the more he explained the outcomes of his actions the more it seemed to be a simple conflict in view points. Something that might not have been helped through the Padawan's actions in the aftermath. "unfortunately it is the misfortune of this conflict, there are those who get needlessly caught up in the middle that suffer" Eisa spoke out with a sigh, her gaze trailing off towards the side. "But its not just those who are caught in the middle, often it is the ones who are holding the weapons that fare the worse. I am assuming that this would have been the first time that both you and the other Padawan were caught up in such a scenario? Something that neither of you had prepared for or even conceived would ever happen?" she continued before pausing for a moment, her lips pursing in thought for a moment.

"I've seen plenty of hardened rebel fighters crumble, trapped in fire fights with their comrades for years on ends, only to turn their attention to the side and see their brother's head replaced with a smouldering stump. Its the moment that humbles even the most stoutest of us, those who once thought they were invincible, nothing can stop them as the Force is on their side" The knight continued, her features darkening slightly as she reflected on the sights she had witnessed on countless battlefields over the past decade. "Its called survivors guilt" She added with a sigh, before her solemn gaze returned to meet the Padawan's "some break there and then, others look to numb themselves into oblivion, few just feel isolated from those around them" Eisa continued, leaving the Padawan's admitted actions for last to try and drive the point in. "There is the chance that whilst your friend needed help coming to terms with what happened, she felt isolated because the one she needed to turn to wasn't there for her" She added, casting the Padawan a questioning look, to see if he understood.

But as the padwan continued there were a few additional points that he aired that did cause a raised eyebrow, the attempts and not so subtle attempts to charm the Fiery haired Knight aside, there were a few causes for concern in his words. "I do hope that you didn't voice that sentiment to your friend?" the Knight spoke out as she folded her arms over her lap. "making statements like peace through superior fire power, I'd admit it would make me felll a little uncomfortable" Eisa continued as her gaze focused on the Knight, her face carrying a cautionary expression. "How is it you think that the Sith Empire came to power?" she posed raising an inquisitive eyebrow, resting her arms against her knee as she leaned in. "we are by no means in possession of superior odds or fire power, but we still fight through a shared ideal, the hope that the galaxy can see peace once again, without the oppressive rule of the Sith tyrants, but through the return of personal liberty and democracy" Eisa advised before running a hand through her dyed orange locks of hair.

Slowly raising her gaze up towards the stone ceiling of the Meditation chamber, the fiery haired knight rolled her head back and forth to loosen out a tight muscle in the back of her neck. "The slaves will be fine in time, they will heal and recover. And the Force willing they will find their own way in the galaxy to their peaceful conclusion" Eisa spoke out reassuring the Padawan, a light smile returning to her features. "It takes time, and a guiding hand, but they will make it" She added, before pursing her lips in thought. "As for you and your friend?" she continued before cutting off, deliberating on how to tackle the next part of the talk. "well you just gotta grow a sack and talk to her" she concluded with a light chuckle as she shook her head. "Its that or I just knock your heads together!"

"You're probably not aware, but I grew up a space brat. The only girl on my dad's frieghter, spent half my life surrounded by men and up to my armpits in grease keeping the ship flying" Eisa explained with a light grin, figuring that the sudden change in tone would have thrown the Padawan back a few steps, revealing the past that fell before her life as a Jedi. Whilst on the surface she may appear to be a cheerfully spirited Jedi Knight, beneath all those layers she was pretty much a tomboy. "Now, as for that offer of dinner you snuck in amongst your hopes" Eisa spoke out with a coy smirk crossing her features. "Whilst i'm flattered by your charm and would like to take you up on your offer to meet up for dinner and unwind whenever we get the chance to breathe" the knight continued as the smirk was replaced with a warm smile. "I don't want you to get the wrong impression, but things wouldn't work out between us" she added before leaning backwards, using her arms to support her. "Its not you, but lets just say i prefer sockets to bolts" Eisa explained with a light chuckle.

 

[Vash Tembra]

The Padawan listened to Eisa's words attentively. Of course, she'd figured out neither Vash nor Sakadi had been ready to deal with the consequences of their actions... and now, as he watched the Knight's expression darken, he couldn't help but feel a sense of dread. If this woman, who'd been at it for so many years, still had uncomfortable memories that obviously affected her, would he really be able to keep it cool in the years to come? There was no way to be certain, but Vash knew it was his duty to try. He'd handled what had been thrown at him well enough so far... perhaps a bit recklessly, but he was learning.

"Yeah, you're right. We were dropped in cold into a terrible situation, and frankly, were lucky to have left alive, and, mostly unharmed," he admitted, then flashed Eisa a little smile. "I mean, I had done jobs for the Alliance before, but as a spy, and never had to kill anyone. Then, one day, this huge bearded fellow comes up to me and says 'Yer a Force Sensitive, Harry'- I was going by Harry back then, incognito spy thing and all-", he quickly explained, "and suddenly things became a lot more complicated. In an interesting way, admittedly, but complicated all the same"

The Echani rolled his shoulders, and let a deep sigh escape. It wasn't an easy thing, revealing what was going on in his head, mostly because even he still barely understood what was going on in there. But talking to the cheery Jedi Knight had helped in matters, that he couldn't deny... and yet, it was daunting, because now he was beginning to realize just how much a Jedi had to sacrifice to keep peace in the galaxy: not only most of their attachments to the outside world, but also a great deal of physical and psychological pain was in order.

Of course, that'd mean he'd have to find a way to talk to Sakadi, sooner or later. That wasn't going to be easy, being how stubborn and strong willed the Sephi was. Not only that, but, to make matters worse, Eisa preferred sockets to bolts. Oh well.

"Dammit... well, I tried," he said in a light hearted tone, upon hearing the woman's final remark. He'd deliberately not responded to her comment on being careful with his ideology of peace through superior firepower, waiting for the right moment to address that. "As to that little bussiness of how the Empire came into power through force, and how my ideology differs from that... well, I have some thoughts, but I'm not telling you just yet... only after we go for dinner and you tell me more about your space brat days. My curiosity is officially picked, and I promise I'm a good listener when I'm not constantly rambling about my problems"

He gave the Knight a little wink after saying that, figuring it might do the poor woman some good to talk about her stuff, as opposed to just handling everyone else's problems. Everyone needed help, no matter how high or low, after all, and Vash felt really indebted to Eisa, due to her kind words and willingless to assist him.