Know who you are

[Hugo Ion]

Onboard the Alliance’s newest warship Hugo Ion walked down the hallway. His destination the docking bay. While the rebels were about to launch their newest operation against the Sith, their relations with Mandalorian were threatened. All due to the enemy’s recent boardcast about the death of the valiant Daniel Solus, it’s obviously plot to turn the Mandalore against them. As the commander marched on, he thought.

I had to expose myself and the Alliance to the galaxy to apologize to Raz and her people. Still it won’t be enough. I must go to Mandalore and make amends personally.

Of course General Greybok and Master Leah and the rest of the Alliance council were strongly against such a move. Yet Ion was going, nonetheless. The risk to his life mattered less their bond with the Mandalorians being served. Whatever happens the rebel leader needed to tried, too many lives were at stake. First there is something I must do. Hugo reminded himself now entering the busy docking bay filled with pilots and mechanics.

The Durosian scanned the crowd until he came spotting Arda Breaux near the shuttle he was going to pilot out. While they had only served in one mission together but it had been to catch a war criminal that tortured him and his loved ones long ago. Not to mention Leah had been updating him about the young girl’s progress as a Jedi. She has great promise.

Then his heart sank, remembering how she was abandoned by her own master and held captive by the Sith until rescued by Valentine Rayth. Ion can’t even begin to imagine what the human was feeling after all of it. Plus General Greybok recently alerted him that the ex-Sith Castor had stepped out bounds with her, adding to the trauma. Castor will be dealt with but now Hugo needed to see to the padwan.

Crossing through the massive launch bay Hugo stopped until he was several feet away in front of the padwan. Commander Ion looked at her in the eyes with sympathy and said.

“Thank you for coming on short notice Arda. I wish this could’ve been done sooner but here we are.”

@GABA

 

[Arda Breaux]

Arda had felt like a snowglobe of emotions that someone just kept shaking anytime she felt things were beginning to weave back together. She had been reluctant to start back her Jedi training, to even touch the Force, she was fearful she would somehow contaminate it with her feelings of ill worth. Though it had been suggested it would not and it may have been even healing to return to her Jedi studies, Arda couldn't find the courage. She was anxious to just go somewhere else, she had put so many lives in danger was uncertain if she could forgive herself and worried what would become of them if it ever happened again.

Even with the betrayal of Aurora Blackwood, she found even more betrayal with one of her closest friends, or who she thought to be her friend, Castor. He had been kept away from her, and Greybok also took measures to protect her from him. However, it just compounded everything she was feeling and she was left uncertain how to feel for just about anything anymore.

She had gotten noticed before leaving the medical bay that she was to report to Commander Ion and she felt as though it was the worst request she could ever receive. She was already preparing herself for the things he could do or say to her, hardening her mind and emotions so when he would told her she would need to leave the Rebel, she would be ready. Though she wasn't processing this as rational and she didn't want to admit she wasn't being rational, but it was better than feeling anything else.

Her senses perked as she felt someone searching for her and saw the Commander approaching, speaking as soon as he was close enough for her to hear him over the warming engines in the hanger.

"What needed to be done sooner?" she asked looking at the commander, her hands rubbed together and then rubbed her cheeks, her thoughts were racing and before she could stop herself, she blurted out, "Commander, I'm so sorry." she apologized, "I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough, I didn't have hope or faith in the Rebellion, I could only think about myself and believed the lies."

@Minuteman75

 

[Hugo Ion]

Arda’s state of mind was worse than he first believed. Hugo had to suppress an look of pity from appearing because he did not want to add to her already heavy burdens. Instead, he calmly listened to the young woman’s confession. She would see a neutral expression from the rebel leader but instead his soul wept. Slowly Ion nodded, letting the padwan know he understood what happened. She did reveal a number of their bases to the enemy while a captive.

Of course they were able to evacuate most of their personal at those locations but lost some lives in the rearguard actions. There were some cell leaders that wanted Arda exiled from their ranks for all of that. Yet to see the girl beating herself up over everything Hugo couldn’t help but feel sympathy. Subsequently he let out a heavy sigh.

“No I should be the one apologizing Arda. It was my orders that sent you with Blackwood to Nar Shaddaa.” Ion shook his head still disgusted with the former master’s actions.

”Rest assured that damn coward is no longer with us. Furthermore, we did not prepare you or anyone else for how to endure something like Sith captivity. Thank the force that Valentine managed to save you.”

Ion paused, lowering his red eyes that hinted guilt that was buried underneath. Glancing up at her once more the Duros then asked. ”Arda let me ask you something, just between us. What are your hopes and dreams?”

@GABA

 

[Arda Breaux]

"Yes, thank the Force..." her voice trailed and she averted her gaze as she thought about Master Valentine showing up in her Sith cell. She had thought it was a very elaborate trick, one to pull her hopes that she was protecting deep in her heart so they could wipe them away as Aurora had done with only one action on Nar Shaddaa. However, as she had come to realize it was not a trick, she couldn't bring herself to go with him. A part of her accepted her fate, to lie in torment and darkness, waiting for death that would only come when it was least convenient for her. She could still hear the whispers that warned of her soul being trapped there for an eternity.

The other part of her, well, she couldn't find truth in what Valentine had told her, the hope he wished to instill, to let her know that what Aurora did was not the way, it was far from it. However, the damage was done, it would take time to repair, but coming back with Valentine who risked everything to bring her back was that first step she needed to take. The rest seemed a lot harder though.

"My hopes and dreams?" she repeated, she thought it was odd, not something she thought about too often, her upbringing kept her focused on everyone and everything else, what she could do in order to bring harmony to her surroundings. Arda was uncertain if he meant that or if she had more individual aspirations; the girl shrugged, "They used to be naive, idealistic, Commander, I can see that now." she began, "I want to see justice return, its hard to think of a galaxy that had that once, to have guardians for the people, to fight away the darkness. I thought I could be one of those guardians, Commander, a Jedi, but things...things seem different now." explained Arda giving a small shrug and a shake of her head.

@Minuteman75

 

[Hugo Ion]

This won’t be fixed easily. Commander Ion realized, seeing how human reacted to the question. He wished this problem could be solved with just a simple talk. But life was never that simple. Hugo knew that fact all too well.

Nodding in understanding at her words, the Duros paused considering what to say. Within a few moments it came to him. “Arda do ya remember that war criminal you helped me capture back on Eriadu? That bastard ran the labor camp I was thrown in. Because of him my family died like animals and whatever faith we had as sentient beings was lost for a long time.”

The young padwan would note the Alliance leader’s right hand was shaking as he looked down on the floor. “Even joining the Rebellion, I was bitter at everything and everyone. Until the day I first met a Jedi.” Ion softly smiled remembering Eli Reach. He still missed his old friend even after all this time.

“Master Eli Reach, Leah’s late husband. While I could never use the Force myself like him or you Eli did helped me understand it somewhat and new hope was born inside my soul.” Hugo confessed before looking back up at Arda in the eyes again. Finally, the Durosian sighed.

“I can’t promise life will get any easier for you Arda but that dream is something worth fighting for. Learn from your mistakes and those of others and move forward. Just don’t lose that spark inside your heart for hope is our greatest strength.”

@GABA

 

[Arda Breaux]

He was silent for a moment and Arda didn't seem to mind the quiet, it allowed them to both think on the topic and allow the padawan to put together more validation for how she felt until Hugo spoke up, recalling when she had joined him helping capture the war criminal; the girl remembered the relief she had felt through the Force from the commander like an overdue justice that now could be served. She felt for him though, she feared labour camps, they were a death sentence from what she was told, a long death and one that would make you wish you had chosen execution over it. Her eyes fell to her feet, catching his hands shaking as he recalled the story and the memories that still seemed to haunt him.

Eli Reach was a name she had caught ever so often around the bases, he was an inspiration to many, including the Commander as he spoke of hope. She had that spark he spoke of, she had guarded it tightly from the Sith during her captivity, fearful if she allowed herself to feel it, they would take it away also. So possibly she never did lose hope, all she had to do now was allow herself to trust others with the hope she held also. The padawan placed her palm over her heart, feeling her heart beat steadily, she knew the spark was still there, but there was another part of her that wished to be stronger so no one could ever take it away.

"Yes, Commander." she nodded though she didn't sound entirely convinced, it did leave her thinking as she now fell silent in her thoughts. Rubbing her chest, she looked at the Commander, "At the very least, Commander, I know now, I have a family once more with the Rebellion." the Padawan gave a small smile, "However, I feel I cannot learn if I continue to just stay put here." the girl explained, knowing the Commander couldn't feel the Force like she did, the girl did her best to explain her reason, "I do best moving, especially when I hear something call."

@Minuteman75

 

[Hugo Ion]

She’s needs more time. Hugo thought, while Arda replied. Rubbing the back of his neck, the commander knew from personal experience the young Jedi had a long road ahead of her. Yet despite seeing the visible struggle that she was dealing the Duros couldn’t help but feel a bit inspired by the younger rebel’s words.

They, the Alliance were a family. Sure not by blood relations but through the bonds forged in the amidst of crisis. He nodded in both respect and approval. Then Ion crossed both arms around the chest and said.

”I’ll hold you to it Arda Breaux. Don’t let yourself down.

Turning away Commander Ion proceeded to walk up the ramp for the shuttle. Upon the last second he looked back toward the human.

“Remember the force will be with you always.” Hugo called out with a proud grin and entered the ship. Once the ramp closed, it wasn’t long before the small craft engines came to life. It lifted off the ground and flew out of the hanger bay, leaving Arda alone with her thoughts.

@GABA

 

[Arda Breaux]

He seemed satisfied with her response and for a second, Arda felt surprised, she had expected the worse, but it never came and in her preparedness never did she think to look at the other end, the end with acceptance. His nod sparked a small grin from the padawan as he held her to her own word, not for him, but to herself. She watched as he went to his shuttle, taking one more look to the Jedi, reminding her of the Force and she nodded, "The Force will be with you also, Commander." she said confidently.

Arda stood in place, watching as the Commander left, the shuttle taking off and the hanger emptying quickly afterwards. It was quiet once more and she was left just with her thoughts, thoughts that were slowly, but surely instilling ideas and the motivation to follow those ideas. However, there were still dark places, enough to leave a chill as all that she had gone through kept pressing against her mind.

Just as her physical wounds will take time to heal, so will require the wounds created on her soul.

/END THREAD