Izraetus Cadamaer

[Thepantheon]

~Holocron of Jedi Master Aelroy Dadartin~
The assignment to Iego was a peculiar one, not only in its nature, but in the way it was carried out, and the way in which it affected me. I do not think I speak for just myself, for all those present seemed to have their doubts, but on a personal level my faith was never shaken so close to home as it was by what transpired on that mission.

You see, when you mention the life of Iego, everyone talks about its moons and the "Angels of Iego". They never mention the Maelibus. The Maelibus dwell on Iego itself, and while the Diathim are called Angels, the Maelibus are termed as "demons", who hunt those stranded on the planet for food. But even from this species of hidden predators, Force-sensitives can emerge. Reports came in to us from spacegoers with some little ability to sense the Force. On Iego itself, they said, the hunting Maelibus held in respect a Force-sensitive, whose presence was Dark. I was dispatched at the head of the investigation, along with Master Editain, his apprentice and my own, and a spaceship's crew. We navigated past the moons of the Diathim, and landed on the planet's surface.

The Maelibus came for us, as expected, but we had little trouble frightening most of them with our blasters and the Force. The one group that did not flee, we knew at once to be our target. Finding the one who felt of the Dark Side, though it was faint and he himself as yet weak in the Force, we captured him and brought him to our ship. As we departed to bring him before the Council, Master Editain requested to attempt a method of cleansing the Dark Side, and when I asked further he professed that he wished to attempt Force Light, a power that cleansed the Dark from a patient, on the captive. Wondering that he could perform such a thing, I gave him my permission, for Izraetus, as he was called, was not so far gone to the Dark as to truly be dangerous, and conversion would be my ideal.

When the Jedi on the ship had gathered to observe the ritual, Editain performed it. My misgivings started as he prepared, seeming nervous, and it was only when he began that I realized how little he knew of the method. Perhaps he had only studied and never attempted it, but it was clearly botched horribly. It looked painful rather than redeeming, and to this day I doubt whether it worked in a healing fashion or a harmful one. I profess that I believe it to have torn part of Izraetus from him along with the Dark Side. Izraetus was indeed more open to the Light Side from then on, and he is now a Knight in the Order after much debate amongst us, but my qualms have not ceased, and perhaps will not until I die. We did not guide him in his choices, did not guide him to the Light, as we were supposed to. No, the Force surfaced in Izraetus with both sides possibilities, and he had begun to choose the Dark. And we took that choice from him.

~Journal of Izraetus Cadamaer~
The Force Light changed me, in every way possible. As I later learned, it was meant usually to destroy the Dark, not merely purge it from a person, and I believe Editain, inexperienced with it as he was, would have killed me trying to save me had my connection to the Dark Side not been weak still. It purged the Dark Side from me, but ripped part of myself from me as well. I am never quite sure what it is, but I feel empty when I reflect sometimes, and when I harmonize myself with the Force as best I can, I feel off-balance, as if something is missing.

Editain's actions had a further unexpected effect. He ripped the Dark Side out of me, but I can never truly embrace the Light Side as I am now. I do not mean to betray the conviction that the Light Side is more safe than the Dark, and the Dark Jedi I have encountered in my years have always been wrong in their ways. But whatever ripped part of me away, and took my choice in such a violent, rather than calming, way, cannot be completely good, and being brought to the Light by something that felt so abrasive has put a dent in my ability to believe. Perhaps it was an imperfection in the execution of the power, but I feel its effects nonetheless. I also have a second reason for my questions, which I doubt most Jedi would understand. That incongruence in my reflections, my harmony with myself and the Force, isn't just because of my personal struggles. I feel as if something in the Force is missing, and I believe that is because I cannot contact it fully. Whatever Editain did wrong to so tear my connection to the Force, it was drastic, and it has led me to believe that the full Force must be sensed, if not used, to truly be at harmony with it. The Jedi are right on most of their philosophies, but I believe their over-cautiousness towards the Dark Side is misplaced. It is dangerous, a tool to be held at arm's length, but a tool with its uses like anything else. Acknowledging and coming to peace with this fact is necessary to fully comprehend the Force.
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Species: Maelibus

Age: 24

Rank: Knight

Equipment:
Lightsaber

Lightsaber Forms:
Juyo* (Focuses on the Force more than lightsaber combat)
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Force Powers:
Telekinesis**
Protection Bubble**
Morichro*
Force Slow**
Force Track*
Ionize**

Stars indicate the level on which he can use each Force power. All powers listed here can be found on the Star Wars [Canon] Wiki. The levels are as follows;

Padawan Level - *
Knight Level - **
Master Level - ***
Council Level - ****
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Roleplays
N/A