How do you guys get over a break up?

[Chronicled]

I dated this girl all through high school and my freshman year of college. We've recently broken up and I really don't know how to control emotions. It's been about a month- I have some days where I feel fine, and others where I have this specific emotion. It's so powerful; it's something unreal. I don't know how to deal. It's unlike any other emotion I've felt before. Sadness, shock, anger, but it's like the moment where you're in shock right before the pain hits you after a tragic injury... just... suspended in time and stretched out over a long period of time.
I love her, we both think that we'll probably get married further down the river. The agony of not being around her hurts though. I can't stand not being able to hold her at night or be held. What's worse is I know that she has these feelings too, and I can't really stop her from feeling this way. I also really cannot stand how it seems as if she's handling it better than I, even though I know she's not.

I don't want to turn to drugs for the answer, because I already know from past experiences how that will go. But dammit if I don't want to go drop some lsd. Like. Seriously, how do I be?

 

[Wing]

Make new friends and replace her.

 

[Lavi]

Hang out with people you know. Do something fun.

 

[Logan]

The more time you spend without her the easier it will be. Avoid her like the plague until you're mentally ready to speak to her again, if you ever would be, nothing worse than getting your heart broken twice because you think it's rekindling and it really isn't.

Also pot helps.

With everything.

 

[Lavi]

Also pot helps.

With everything.

I prefer coke.









Vanilla coke.

 

[Noirceur]

Also pot helps.

With everything.

I concurr. Anyways, while everyone here is happy to give you advice and all, I suggest that you go with a proffesional, since, well, we arent phsicologists. Anyway, do stuff you like, hang out with people you know and try not to think of her. If you and her are meant for each other, trust me, everything will sort itself out. If not, then there will always be a chance to find that special someone.

 

[Blaxican]

I generally tend to surround myself with the most sexist friends I have, get inebriated* and then proceed to loudly debase her and her entire gender until I've achieved catharsis and completely absolved myelf of any blame for the relationship's failure. This process may or may not require initiating committment-free intercourse with an unfamiliar woman, and is generally repeated daily until symptoms alleviate.

*substitute alcohol with other mind-influencing substances to taste.

 

[Logan]

I generally tend to surround myself with the most sexist friends I have, get inebriated* and then proceed to loudly debase her and her entire gender until I've achieved catharsis and completely absolved myelf of any blame for the relationship's failure. This process may or may not require initiating committment-free intercourse with an unfamiliar woman, and is generally repeated daily until symptoms alleviate.

*substitute alcohol with other mind-influencing substances to taste.

Will you be my doctor, ploz?

 

[Chronicled]

The more time you spend without her the easier it will be. Avoid her like the plague until you're mentally ready to speak to her again, if you ever would be, nothing worse than getting your heart broken twice because you think it's rekindling and it really isn't.

Also pot helps.

With everything.

Right-O. Well, I can dig it but I can't smoke pot or do a number of drugs. MEPS is coming up and I don't really smoke pot it's not my favorite.

I concurr. Anyways, while everyone here is happy to give you advice and all, I suggest that you go with a proffesional, since, well, we arent phsicologists. Anyway, do stuff you like, hang out with people you know and try not to think of her. If you and her are meant for each other, trust me, everything will sort itself out. If not, then there will always be a chance to find that special someone.

Alight lol, well these things are even harder to do since I'm stuck up in a city where I don't know anyone for a while until I get my weight up and get MEPS out of the way. (Vacationing at my grandparents' house.)

I generally tend to surround myself with the most sexist friends I have, get inebriated* and then proceed to loudly debase her and her entire gender until I've achieved catharsis and completely absolved myelf of any blame for the relationship's failure. This process may or may not require initiating committment-free intercourse with an unfamiliar woman, and is generally repeated daily until symptoms alleviate.

*substitute alcohol with other mind-influencing substances to taste.

I honestly love the advice. I'm not going to take it, but thanks for making me laugh. lol

 

[Jake]

Blaxican's approach isn't entirely incorrect, even if it's the one I hold dearest to my heart. You need to distance yourself in ways like ones he described and you need to busy yourself with other things. Write a ****ton. Pick up a new series or a book and start filling the time you would have spent with her with new habits.

 

[Ben]

I too, kinda want Blaxican as my Doc now.

It sounds to me like you too shouldn't have broken up in the first place. If you both think you're meant for each other, and you think you're both hurting (this is of course on the basis that both these are true, mind you), then I don't get why you're apart.

Go stand outside her window with a boombox playing her song.

 

[Mistress]

You should definitely talk about this with her, since you feel so strongly. Lay it on the table.

Sometimes the cord needs to be completely severed. And certainly don't hurt yourself for anyone else. Just keep in mind, if you are meant to go separate ways, the one you do end up with will love you back so mch more, and life will be all the more wonderful.

 

[Chronicled]

I too, kinda want Blaxican as my Doc now.

It sounds to me like you too shouldn't have broken up in the first place. If you both think you're meant for each other, and you think you're both hurting (this is of course on the basis that both these are true, mind you), then I don't get why you're apart.

Go stand outside her window with a boombox playing her song.

Well, the breakup was more or less a mutual agreement. We lived together for a bit and we'd both got into it one night. I proposed that I'd go somewhere else for a bit, and she said that was fine. We talk and we both agree that space is what we need, but then we decided that we should just not be together at all for a while.

I figure that after I'm out of basic training and before I go to tech school I'll extend a word to her. Until then, it just hurts knowing that we both really want to be with each other and both know that space may be our only remedy right now.

It's very difficult to keep everything in check too. She'll propose going and doing something together and I'll have to control myself to say no. In the vice versa scenario, I can tell that it's difficult for her to say no as well.

Anyways. I don't know- maybe I'll cave and try and break the space, but I don't think that's a very good idea right now.

 

[GABA]

It's like one big withdraw. Like you literally go through a dopamine withdraw when you break up with someone.

Give it three weeks, hang with friends and you should start to feel better.

 

[Chronicled]

It's like one big withdraw. Like you literally go through a dopamine withdraw when you break up with someone.

Give it three weeks, hang with friends and you should start to feel better.

EXACTLY. It feels like I'm coming off of a rolling binge.
:bittercrying:

 

[GABA]

Fun fact, heart ache is real and caused by dopamine withdraw. : D

 

[Johnnysaurus Rex]

Not have any relationships to begin with. Am I right guys? Right?! Right?! Oh....

 

[TWD26]

Well my girlfriend and I fight sometimes, which fighting is natural. I agree that sometimes you need space, but if you both think that you guys want to still be together talk it out. Because I know from personal experience that generally a fight doesn't last that long. Not sure what you were fighting over or what was said so I can't really specify whether or not. But, if you really think you want to marry this girl one day and you want to be with her then go back and tell her. I have an Uncle who when my aunt broke up with him (due to a long distance relationship) flew all the way from the UK to the US. Now they didn't get back together right away, but they did.

Give it time and see where your feelings are. If you truly love her and she loves you back then you will find a way to fix whatever happened between you two. That's just my opinion.

Bottom line: talk to her and see where you stand and what not. If she doesn't have the same feelings then understand that it wasn't meant to be, but that you enjoyed your time with her.

“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”-Dr. Seuss (That's how I sort of like to live my life, cause you can look back and see hey I did all this stuff, sometimes it didn't work out, I got a bit sad, but I'm happy with what I did with my life and I took chances and good risks and I don't have to worry about a what if.)

 

[Endling vas Precious]

The past is the past. Just move on. I know it may seem hard, but it's really not.

 

[Insoulent]

Do what I did with my best friend when he got over his high school sweetheart (6 years), get really ****ing drunk and listen to 808 & Heartbreaks and My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, and just about every other song Kanye has about being heart broken. It helped a lot, actually. Being depressed on a depressant drug (alcohol) listening to depressing music. The shrooms after that day actually might of been the magic behind it all, now that I'm thinking about it. [st]Oh, and hey, shrooms don't show up on MEPS drug tests from what I read on the internet...[/st]

But honestly everyone gets through heartbreaks a little different. All joking aside, I don't recommend listening to depressing break-up music, it incubates the feeling of sadness for most people. Or the reliance on drugs either, as a lot of people use it as a crutch it seems. Communication is key though, especially in real life with actual people that know you better/closer. Just being with any other people, doesn't have to be her [though in your case that might be best to communicate with her]. I mean, it seems like there's some underlying issue we don't really know about, or maybe you're not seeing quite just yet. We don't know every detail, obviously, so the best person to really figure it out is you.

In the mean time, find something and people to fill the space and your time. Stay busy and maybe do something you've always wanted to. Be young, experience different shit, I promise it's the greatest time to be alive if you let it be. Romantic love isn't the most important part of your life, you actually enjoying life is, however. Though if you're going to have joy, there's bound to be pain, right? Might as well embrace them both, or learn to let go as easily as you grab on to the feeling.