Getting kinda used to being someone you loved

[Darth Tagus]

Ilum.

It had started on Ilum, really, and Ilum was where it was going to end.

One way or another, it was going to end. The lovely little fantasy they had shared would come to an end and it was because of his own actions, his own pledge to his Empire, to his Emperor and to himself.

He had heard it said before that people sabotaged their own happiness, that they were the poison to their own happy ending. Tagus hadn't been certain he had believed it when he'd first heard the idea but he was certain that he believed it now. What had come to end their time together was himself and his actions - their consequences.

He had called Nikka to come and see him at the chamber they had found the First Blade and he had signed the message as Tagus. To the woman who never saw him as Tagus, only Zeven, it would doubtlessly ring some alarm bells.

But he didn't much care.

He knew, deep in the pit of his stomach, that she would be here.

There was a sense of dread that he knew meant that he was not going to be able to avoid this. It was going to happen. Taking a deep breath as he knelt before the alter that had held the First Blade, he slowly reached out and picked his Sith mask up from the ground before slowly placing it over his face as he waited.

@Killa Ree

 

[Nikka Toren]

She knew.

She knew the moment she had gotten the message. And the placement of their meeting... had it been the lakehouse or the penthouse, she might have foolishly hoped otherwise. But back to Ilum... back to a place that was hostile, to a memory that meant her first true test...

He was always one for symbolism.

She knew she ought to be afraid. That she ought to flee, to run from danger, but all she could manage to feel was a lingering edge of sorrow. There was so much she had hoped to experience... and they had so little time to be together. But she had warned him, warned both of them, that this union would bring nothing but pain. She knew it. He knew it.

She didn't feel sorrow for herself, though; she mourned for him. For that small spark of goodness she once held in her hands would die after this... and there would be no turning back.

She also knew that she could flee to any corner of the galaxy, and he would find her.

She tugged on her formal dress one more time. Fitted her gloves over her hands... the thick cable of her braid hung down her back. There was no decoration for this. Nothing apart from her twin blades, and her vibrodagger. Even her tool belt had been left behind.

She stood before Eva, and the little 3-T began faithfully recording her statement. When it was over, she stepped over to end it, and then patted the droid affectionately, and smiled sweetly. "I'm sorry I didn't have time to upgrade you, little one..." she murmured huskily, then turned to Tippy. They had landed some time ago... but she needed a moment to gather herself together.

She was as calm as ever... but there were some last-minute things she had to take care of.

"Tip... in ten minutes, I want you to fly straight out and contact Master Breaux. I will have a message for her. She will take care of you."

The droid seemed to process this... and let out one sad, questioning pip in Binary. She shook her head. It let out one last, sad beep, and she nodded, giving him one last kiss on the top of his unit.

"I know. Goodbye, little friend."

She took one last deep breath, turned towards the ramp. It slowly lowered to a surprisingly still, quiet Ilum. She squared her shoulders...

And began stepping towards the entrance of the caves.

This was for the Alliance. For love.

...For her husband, Zeven Visz.

No.

Darth Tagus.

@Nefieslab

 

[Darth Tagus]

She was here.

She was here and his vague attempts to alarm her seemed to have partially worked - she was alarmed and she was afraid. She was worried, in pain. It brought him no joy but he clamped down hard on his feelings to ensure that it didn't bring him anything else either. Standing from his position in front of the alter, he drew The First Blade and held it to his side slightly in his right hand as he closed his eyes.

As she approached he felt her through the Force as he called it to himself. It answered his call. The Dark Side was eager to be used, quick to brush against his fingertips like phantom feathers.

He turned to face her as she entered the chamber.

"Nikka."

His voice was slightly different due to his mask but it was clear that it was being forced. It sounded neutral on the surface but it was clear to anyone who listened that it was a forced calm.

"The Emperor has... demanded your death." he declared bluntly, simply, "In response to my own actions. I am to kill you, Nikka."

He hesitated for a half a second before igniting the First Blade, it's shocking red blade humming angrily to life as he held it to his side slightly, readying himself. Honestly?

Honestly he hoped she fought.

A small part of him hoped she won.

@Killa Ree

 

[Nikka Toren]

She was not afraid.

She was not anything anymore. As he spoke, as his voice echoed in the caverns, she knew.

She knew that voice. Knew it so well, she could hear it in her heart. Remembered the many ways he had said her name. In anger. In frustration.

...In awe. And in the few moments he thought her asleep, into her hair in a whisper.

Yes, she knew exactly what was ordered.

She stood calm and serene, hands pressed before her. Spine straight and tall, chin slightly raised. A vision of poise, control and the Light; though surrounded by the Dark, she allowed the Light Side of the Force to gather about her, like the coolest touch of rainfall. She knew he hadn't been waiting long; though his emotions did not tremble on the surface of the Force, she knew he had to feel several things. Perhaps guilt. Remorse. Anger.

...Rage.

She exhaled slowly, her voice clear, ringing and without a single hesitation.

"I know."

Two words. A simple acknowledgement. But she still did not reach for her blades. She did not move; she simply stood, listening to the hum of the blade. His breathing.

She began to take one step forward, and then the other. Slow, methodical. They echoed in the stone like the faintest hammer falls. The steps of a diplomat; she would never hurry. As she walked, she spoke. Her hands were still pressed together, poised and collected.

"I die because of your ambition. I die because I love you, and because of what I am."

She stepped forward until she was mere meters away, face tilted up towards him, letting him feel it. Letting him feel that even now, with him threatening death, with his fury and his rage and his pain...

She loved him. Unconditionally.

"You murder because of an order. But I already knew what was going to happen. You knew."

She paused...

And then smiled.

"I don't regret a moment spent with you, Zeven Visz." She stood, face tilted to his, her voice soft, cool.

@Nefieslab

 

[Darth Tagus]

She knew what they were here for just as he did and yet she didn't draw her lightsaber. He knew that she had at least one lightsaber on her and he knew that she was willing to use it in combat - and yet she didn't draw it against him. The two of them knew that Tagus had drawn his lightsaber for a reason and yet here she was refusing to defend herself.

As she approached he closed his eyes behind his mask and just felt her in the Force for a moment as she advanced. She approached and he could smell the perfume she wore and he hated it in that instant.

He extinguished his lightsaber.

Tagus stepped closer to her, pressing the emitter of his lightsaber right up against her heart as he approached her. He reached up with his other hand and pulled his mask off, dropping it to the side. His eyes were wide open, tears pricking at their edges as he forced himself not to blink so as to not let the traitorous things fall as tears.

"I knew." he admitted quietly, "I knew, in the back of my mind, that something like this would never last. Knew that it would end... and it would end by my hand."

His thumb hovered over the activation stud of his lightsaber.

"... I don't regret it either, Nikka Visz." he whispered softly, "I want you to know that I don't want to do this. I'm a Sith and I know this will make me stronger in the Dark Side. By rights I should be happy to do this. But I'm not."

His thumb hesitated over the activation stud.

@Killa Ree

 

[Nikka Toren]

For a moment... only a moment... her left hand ghosted up, feather-light, to trail over his face. It then moved down his neck, down his arm, until it trailed up the lightsaber hilt. Her hand rested lightly over his own, thumb over the activation stud with his as she continued to tilt her face up to his, taking in a slow breath. Her ring was cool against the back of his hand.

She nodded once, the smile still lingering on her lips. Her voice was soft, warm, slightly reprimanding. "You're a fool, you know," came the gentle tone. "We could have had more time... but that door's closed."

She supposed it could be a bitter satisfaction to know he didn't want to do this, but there wasn't. She also knew it would be helpless to plead they wouldn't have to; he would die for the Empire he devoted his suffering to. And she would die serving her Alliance.

...Yes, there were no regrets.

She tilted her face up to his, bringing his hand up to her cheek, and laying a gentle kiss upon his palm, felt the coolness of his own band brush her cheek. She stretched up to kiss him one last time, releasing his hand.

Her right hand reached over to her right hip, knowing his attention was on her.

As she did, the activation stud clicked.

A beam of red pierced through her chest, through her heart. There was only one second, two seconds of fiery agony; her left hand clenched against his with a muffled gasp as her vibrodagger hummed to life one last time, stabbed towards his torso.

She just barely managed to stab him... right in the same place where she had before, in this very cave.

Even now, dying by his hand, she couldn't kill him.

The galaxy was fading fast around them; were her hands meant to be so cold? Her legs suddenly buckled, and she was dimly aware that she was falling. The floor didn't feel hard; she felt as cold and numb as the stone around them. Her hands slid from the dagger and from his, and she managed a few words, before it failed her.

"Love you, Zeven..." she rasped.

As Ilum faded, she was aware of the tide rolling in and out; she could smell the brine, feel the cool breeze against her face. The warmth of Ord Cantrell's sun beat down on her shoulders as she savored the view, feeling his hand in his own and giving it a gentle squeeze. "You know..." she murmured to the air, leaning against him. "I wish there were times I could see you like anyone else. Touch you and have more of this..."

The scene changed. A shower room, feeling water cascade down between them and being held as the galaxy and time vanished...

An ocean view once more, being held as Nikka Visz. His bride. His wife.

His.

And then, she felt nothing. She was gone.

@Nefieslab

 

[Darth Tagus]

He couldn't deny what she was saying because, honestly, he did feel like a fool. He felt like a fool for letting it get this far, for letting their relationship get this far along, far enough along to hurt him with it's ending. And, of course, he was a fool for thinking that as well. There were no regrets about the time they had spent together but they both knew that they had been fooling themselves when they imagined it could end happily.

More time.

"There's no time for us, Nikka." he told her quietly in response, "There never was. We fooled ourselves into thinking that there could be and we enjoyed it while it lasted... but we could never last forever."

Nothing lasted forever, not the bad and not the good. Something didn't last longer just because you wanted it to with all the desperation that your heart could muster.

This too would pass.

He almost closed his eyes as she touched him gently and he allowed his attention to wander. When she came close to kiss him he could tell something was wrong but he allowed himself one more chance to be foolish and he leaned in to kiss her at the same time his own thumb pressed down on his lightsaber's activation stud, helped by her thumb as well.

A blinding pain caused him to gasp and break the kiss, taking a half step backwards as he looked down, seeing her vibroblade sticking into his right side. He pulled back and her blade pulled out of him as she fell backwards. Dropping his lightsaber to the side, he watched as she fell, his left hand instinctively going to stem the bleeding in his right side. There was... blood but it wasn't gushing out.

He would bet she had stabbed him without hitting any organs or major arteries.

Even now... she couldn't bring herself to act like anything but the medic she had styled herself as. Even now she couldn't bring herself to actually kill him.

"Damn you Nikka." he hissed through gritted teeth as he knelt down beside her, his free hand holding her's tightly, "Damn it Nikka... you missed."

He had been an open target and she hadn't taken the shot he had presented her with, not properly at least. Pulling her up onto his lap, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, Tagus swallowed thickly as he felt her flickering away in the Force.

"... yeah."

Despite it all... he didn't say it back. How could he? How could he possibly say it when he had just killed her? When he had stabbed right through her heart and as surely torn his own apart in the process? He reached out to her mind, to connect with her in the Force to let her see through his eyes one last time.

But it was too late.

She slipped from his grasp in the Force and she was gone.

She was gone.

Now he could say it.

"I loved you as best I could, Nikka... I'm sorry it wasn't enough."

It wasn't enough to stop him from making the pledge to his Emperor.

It wasn't enough to stop him from accepting the order from his Emperor.

It wasn't enough to make him want to run away with her.

It wasn't enough to stop him from pressing the emitter of his lightsaber to her heart.

And it certainly wasn't enough to stop him from activating it.

Cradling her head to his chest, Darth Tagus disappeared for just a moment and in the moment it was Zeven Visz who knelt there in the dust and the blood. It was Zeven Visz who pressed his face into her hair, memorizing her scent as he finally allowed tears to roll down his cheeks.

In the end it was Zeven Visz who held his wife, not Darth Tagus.

End​

@Killa Ree