Friends

[Padmé]

We all have them (unless you're unless you're the ultimate recluse).

Do you remember your very first friend? What were they like? Do you still keep in touch with them? Do you have a core group of friends? Are thy close (both physically and distance wise? How has "global community" affected your ability to make and keep friends? Do you tend to easily make friends in person or virtually?

ITT, let's talk about all things friendy. -.-

 

[TWD26]

I remember having a few friends when I was in high school, but after I graduated they vanished from my life, been riding it out alone for a while now--but, I do enjoy keeping to myself and just doing the things I want to. Have quite a few acquaintances, not really anyone that I per say would care about hanging out with outside of work, to me a friend is someone that you can be able to connect to, and I just can't seem to find the connection with the people in my life right now. I never got the concept of a best friend or why I would even want to share private information about my life to them, most of the time that creates a loose end that I'd prefer to avoid. But, in general I consider myself someone that doesn't really care to let people into my life deep enough to know what I'm about, and that goes for family.

As for online people, I don't really consider them my friends---only because you've never met them and I never really talked about my life with them, so how could there be that connection? That's just me.

 

[Black Noise]

Heh, my very first friend outside of my family? That'd really first need an explanation on the definition of 'friend' to each individual. If I were to try and place a name on what I'd define as my first friend, it'd be the first person I ever confided secrets in, the first person who had interest in the things I cared about whether it was something they liked or not, the first person who looked past disagreements on my beliefs just because they liked me.

Heh, yeah, I liked them. She was the kindest, most thoughtful, most wonderful person I ever met. Even though we don't keep in touch anymore, gone our separate ways, I'd say I still hold her in very high regard. I miss that friendship, I really do.

Naturally I have a core group of friends now, more so than I did when I was younger. Though we are all quite very much apart distance wise. They're pretty cool. I'd say the 'global community' has only helped me in making more friends, as people who live near me distance wise do not share in my beliefs, interests, or personality. Growing up homeschooled, I was quite isolated from making a larger group of friends. So the Internet has been a tremendous help in reaching out, finding new people, and challenging my thought process. That being said I do make friends easily online, and 'acquaintences' easily in Real Life.

I find it hard for me though, I think harder than others, to leave people behind in my life. Even people I haven't talked to for months, I'd still consider them good friends and would go the extra mile for them in a heartbeat. I'm terribly forgetful, so I apologize for the people who think I'm giving them the cold shoulder, we are still teh frandz, just hit me up.

Not much else to say I suppose.

 

[Prudence]

I too was homeschooled, and an only child, so making friends was pretty important growing up or I would have literally died of boredom. I can still remember my first "friends", though we fell out of contact when I was still pretty young. Nothing dramatic, just situations changed / people moved. I do remember the core group of friends I grew up with through elementary / middle / highschool. As we all grew up we all grew more distant, which is just how life goes. Each of us found different interests in highschool and different friends.

I find myself able to make 'friends' really easily, but grow to trust people / let them in far more reluctantly. The global community, like BN said, makes it far easier for me to make friends. Gotta echo his point about being isolated from making friends from different groups.

SWRP is pretty fun for me because I do have my IRL best friend, @Proleptic , on here with me, and have been able to make some good friendship with people here.

 

[FinnSimmons]

My very first friend is one of those relationships where we call each other every other year to talk and it's always as if no time has passed. That reminds me. I got to call that guy. Mabye on the weekend. :)

I feel I made some friends here, too. First of all of course I love my slovenian Bee-Slav. @Breeso never gets tired of my stupid jokes about his country's name sounding allmost like Slovakia and how noone can tell them apart. He's the best Slav on this beautifull earth.

Other than that there is the Blue Lady (@Padmé ) above who is pretty nice, and Lilly too. Of course there are others but lets not make lists.

 

[Deviant]

A friend?

...

Those exist?

 

[Zay]

I love this topic. Thanks for linking it @Padmé.

I've known my oldest friend for over 20 years. lol We met when we were little ones and literally grew up together. A pair of troublemakers akin to that of Huckleberry Fin and Tom Sawyer. Over time life has taken us in different directions, but we still keep in contact. We still play video games together and communicate regularly. I miss being able to just hang out, but who knows one day we might be in the place where that's possible again.

I've noticed that over the years my desire to meet and create new friendships has diminished greatly. I'm not really sure what changed in me. I've never had a problem making friends and I've been told I'm a rather likable person, but i don't know. I think what it really boils down to is the amount of effort required to maintain a relationship. I'm a very proactive person, if I want to hang out I'll voice it, I'll text it, and I might even FB message it, but if I reach out more than three times and there's been no attempt on the other parties behalf, well then, "Bye Felica." Ain'tnobodygottimeforthat.gif

lol I really love this thread. Keep the fun going!

 

[Breeso]

I am actually not real. I was nonexistant until something changed in the nature of the matrix and I was born on this site. Judging by the spam on my wall, my first friend was @Richie B. He kidnapped my padawan and left him on the other side of the Galaxy. Another earlier friend was Khivas, who, sadly, is inactive now. Then I made more friends. New timeline planning, I joined the Accord. Boom, people-friends out of nowhere. From that came the Exchange and from that everything else. Many friendos. Poor introverted me.

All in all, a friend is someone whom you can't bring yourself not to hate, but the act of pissing each other makes the bond stronger.

Leftovers of drunken Breeeso, out

 

[Marf]

I won't go into the sad and emo details, but I'm severely autistic, socially damaged, isolated and I've never had a friend IRL. Not ever, save for my family who I do not live with, so I'm constantly alone. I've known people I was sort of close to, but it always waned and faded, or they turned out to be a sleaze.

Since I joined this website, for the first time in my life, I have found a place to feel safe and genuine acceptance. I may not always agree with how certain things are done in the RP, but hey, nothing can suit everybody and you can't have everything you want. They are minuscule things which don't matter and shouldn't affect the way people see you. Despite my odd ways of RP, the people here are astoundingly accepting and respectful. So much it is sometimes too good to be true. For all of my teenage life I didn't know anything else but looking over my shoulder, being ostracized and expecting someone to torment or hurt me, it has been very hard to shake off that mindset and I'm still paranoid by habit.

but the friends I've made here, as well the collaborative aspect of the hobby, have helped me mature and grow as a person, to develop my social skills and my trust for other people. I now live in my own house, I can look after myself (mostly), have conversations with strangers and can walk down the street without feeling afraid. It can still be very hard, but I'm getting there. People who aren't used to computers will think that I'm just playing games all day, when they don't get I'm talking to my very real friends and expressing myself artistically. For people who don't have a place IRL, the internet is our haven.

I also use my made-up characters as my sources of comfort for when real people just get too scary, which I've been doing since I was a toddler, which is why they are such an important part of my well-being. I know that might seem cringey or sad to some, but it's a very legitimate method of coping with emotional turmoil, as is any artistic pursuit.

much of that is embarrassing to admit, but none of it is exaggerated. I know there might be other people in similar circumstances, and I hope that may have inspired some confidence.

All of you give me a place to belong.

 

[Nor'baal]

Swrp basically got me through my final year at Uni.

And my first year.

 

[Padmé]

...
As for online people, I don't really consider them my friends---only because you've never met them and I never really talked about my life with them, so how could there be that connection? That's just me.

Picking the above out not because I disagree but just perhaps another angle.
I get what you mean by not considering online folks your friends. Stranger danger- duh? BUT what I mean is folks that you connect with online. Not that I think you should bear your soul to every Tom Dick and Harry- pffft I wouldn't even recommend that IRL. Just that surely you talk to folks online- such as our crazy forum folks. Yes?

Heh, yeah, I liked them. She was the kindest, most thoughtful, most wonderful person I ever met. Even though we don't keep in touch anymore, gone our separate ways, I'd say I still hold her in very high regard. I miss that friendship, I really do.

That sounds like the best of friends. Due to several moves, I had to learn that friends can come in seasons- at an early stage in life.

I find it hard for me though, I think harder than others, to leave people behind in my life. Even people I haven't talked to for months, I'd still consider them good friends and would go the extra mile for them in a heartbeat.

That's very nice of you. I do the opposite. I find it very easy to forget folks who were once "friends" but never did anything to maintain the friendship. Same with my social media accounts, I purge my "friend" list every so often. Make room for the people who are "there" and care. Two way street, yo. I'm mean like that I guess. lol

I do remember the core group of friends I grew up with through elementary / middle / highschool.

Interestingly enough, I've got a hand full of friends whom I "grew up" with. Some from as far back as preschool. We got separated (I hate this word, I always spell it wrong) during middle school, but we re-connected about ten years ago. Thanks to the internet and social media. Come to find out, one of them (my bestie from preschool) got married, and like me had a child merely days apart. How cool is that?

Also, you talk my ear off nearly everyday <3, so get on that phone and call your buddy. You know I will bug you until you do it -.-

My very first friend is one of those relationships where we call each other every other year to talk and it's always as if no time has passed.

You know? I hear people say that, but I just don't buy it. Like if I had a friend who only calls me once a year, I'd totally leave them behind. Unless I'm missing something here. lol

Other than that there is the Blue Lady (@Padmé ) above who is pretty nice, and Lilly too.

My preteen and teenage family members would beg to differ. I'm not nice; I'm polite -.-

A friend?

...

Those exist?

Typical teen answer. Oh wait I'm on a forum full of them (don't throw rotten tomatoes at me).

I love this topic. Thanks for linking it @Padmé.

My pleasure!

I've noticed that over the years my desire to meet and create new friendships has diminished greatly. I'm not really sure what changed in me. I've never had a problem making friends and I've been told I'm a rather likable person, but i don't know. I think what it really boils down to is the amount of effort required to maintain a relationship. I'm a very proactive person, if I want to hang out I'll voice it, I'll text it, and I might even FB message it, but if I reach out more than three times and there's been no attempt on the other parties behalf, well then, "Bye Felica." Ain'tnobodygottimeforthat.gif

Ditto. I think adulting and work plays a huge factor in keeping good friends. Deep meaningful friendships takes time, effort and work, akin to marriage/serious romantic relationship. It's too much work man and as I expressed above, I leave folks who don't make the effort behind.

lol I really love this thread. Keep the fun going!

You guys/gals/beings heard the man. Keep posting!

I am actually not real.

Reminds me of @Johnnysaurus Rex
Duno why. It'll come to me

All of you give me a place to belong.

A win for "global community" then! We all have our idiosyncrasies. It takes gull for anyone to share as much as you do, and I applaud you for that especially if it helps you gain/attain a sense of normalcy in making friends.

Swrp basically got me through my final year at Uni.

And my first year.

Why do I actually believe this? lol
You and I have had our moments, but I think the more you mature, the more you act accordingly.

More I'd like to share, but Imma wait

 

[Nor'baal]

Oh @Padmé I am not kidding :P Uni was stressful AF - and there had been times when the people on SWRP helped me through it, be that by RP or just having stupid talks with on Skype.

 

[Gamov]

I'm lazy, so I'll answer this point by point.

1) Do you remember your first friend? Yes

2) What were they like? In retrospect... kind of a dick. After a fashion, I was left with the sense that our relationship was decidedly one-sided and existed purely for the sake of convenience. That experience really shaped who I would become as an adult, and consequently led me down the path to the career I hold now. It also made me more analytical, leading me to develop a very selective process when it came to cultivating future relationships (of which there have been few).

3) Do you still keep in touch? No. And I believe this to be for the best.

4) Do you have a core group of friends? More acquaintances than friends, but yes I do have a core group that I associate with more often than others. Since I'm an overly private person though, I'm not one of those types who will call a buddy up out of the blue to arrange plans or invite them to my house. I like keeping my personal life as far removed from others as humanly possible. I'm no recluse by any means, but inviting a person into my personal life as a friend implies a certain measure of trust that I do not afford to any beyond my immediate family.

5) Are thy close (both physically and distance wise?) Most of the people I consider acquaintances are co-workers, or are friends of my wife or a family member. In some cases, they live within about a 4-5 hour drive from us (the furthest living in Arizona). So distance wise, most of them are close. Physically, nope. I feel no real attachment - or obligation - to anyone outside my family.

6) How has "global community" affected your ability to make and keep friends? For me, it hasn't really made much of a difference. I still apply the same standards to online relationships that I would to any other. So it's a wash for me.

7) Do you tend to easily make friends in person or virtually? Virtually, without a doubt it's easier for me engage with someone. Partly because it requires the least effort possible and really only requires the use of a skill (typing) which I use daily. But mostly I find it, I wouldn't say "easier" so much as more comfortable, to build relationships online because I can lie about everything and no one will know the difference distance means protection in my mind. Like I said before, I place my family above the concerns of all others, and in that regard its far simpler to make a connection half way across the country than it is to make one face to face because I know the chances of the online relationship ever having any interference with my personal life is next to nil. If things get too heated, walking away is as easy as closing my laptop and sipping on a drink. Unfortunately, the real world lacks a sufficient supply of conveniently placed doors for me to close in the faces of irritating people.

And that's me on friendship. Pretty sure none of that surprises anyone.

 

[TWD26]

Picking the above out not because I disagree but just perhaps another angle.
I get what you mean by not considering online folks your friends. Stranger danger- duh? BUT what I mean is folks that you connect with online. Not that I think you should bear your soul to every Tom Dick and Harry- pffft I wouldn't even recommend that IRL. Just that surely you talk to folks online- such as our crazy forum folks. Yes?

Well I should have clarified, I have no problem talking to people and what not, but I feel like it would still be awkward to meet someone I talked to online. There is something about body composure, physical contact, and other sorts of things that you get in real life that pulls you closer, but its for the most part void in online only contact. That's just my opinion.

 

[Retroboy]

I do remember my first friend, and it kinda sucks we're not friends now. Ultimately, I feel like our life paths just sorta went into different directions, and while we were super close at one point, I'm not too broken up about us not being close anymore. We fought a lot, of course, but that's because kids are dumb and fight about stupid stuff. He was always sporty, very imaginative.

It's weird, though, I never used to have a lot of friends as a kid. I was kind of a strange child with an extreme personality and that made it hard to make and keep friends. Then, high school came around and suddenly I found it easier to make friends. I have two friends I really keep in touch with from my high school days, and I consider one of them my best friend. College also lead me to a lot of friends, and it's very close too - I was the best friend at one of their weddings recently.

As for the online stuff, a lot of very dear friends I've actually never met in the flesh, but considering I've known them for ten years, I consider them friends all the same. Most of them, funny enough, were met through forum roleplaying. I've always been of the opinion that an online friend is just as genuine as one you meet in person, and I really enjoy meeting people online. The great thing about meeting people over the internet is that it's a lot easier to find people with common interests, and I get to meet people who I would have never met if I had been born in some earlier decade before the internet. By that token, I think I'm sort of blessed to live in the times I do now, crazy as they are.

 

[saam]

My very first friend I suppose would be a kid I met in kindergarten. His name was Ryan and we went to the same primary school for a time. We mostly played sports, especially four-square. He was like most kids really, active and silly. There was also a girl I met in primary school that I recall being close to but I can't remember her name sadly. She was very kind, positive and giggly and I think we were best friends because we got along very well. Then I moved school near the end of year 3. So all those other friends kinda vanished from my life. Haven't kept in touch with them since, though funnily enough I did meet Ryan again by chance, at a school I moved to, he was different though.
I no longer have a core group of friends, that kinda died after school years, now I just mostly have friendly acquaintances in uni and at work. I never really seem to keep friendships. I'm an open and friendly guy, not shy or anything I just naturally gravitate away once I've made a connection with someone, don't know why. A lot has happened in my life, and it's just something I've noticed that happens completely unintentionally. Kinda wish it weren't so, but regardless I'm more of a solo man anyway, I enjoy quiet and solitude...in moderation of course. I think I'd go mad if I was utterly void of human contact. Gotta stretch those mind threads and vocal cords.
As for global community, I'd say yeah I have online friends. Well I have had, again online acquaintances, it's hard to differentiate the two, since they tend to disappear over time and I never get close to them. But yah talking to people and mucking around is just the same online as in person, just as much fun either way.

 

[Vinn Esper]

Unfortunately, I suck at making and keeping friends by any definition. I have one friend, who has been my friend for more then 10 years. He has a family and lives a ways away from me, so we don't see each other any more. I spend most of my time alone. It used to not bother me, but lately I find it to be very frustrating because even though I'm a little unusual I try to be personable and nobody seems to actually like me at all.

 

[Sakie]

Not in real life at least.
^ Literally my best friends are the ones I've met on SWRP ^
Which is pretty sad, but true.
My first really good friend was named Neil, and he was awesome, but before long he left my home city and now we don't talk anymore, and the same thing happened with every single one of my really good friends so now I have none, and seeing as I have a very extroverted personality, that was very hard to deal with for me.

I don't have a core group of friends, although I might have if I still went to school, rather than homeschooling.
I tend to make friends pretty easily, both online and irl, but I'm also quite picky with who I hang out with (I can't stand hanging out with people {guys, more specifically} who are really immature).

Now my best friend is Sherlock :P​

 

[Phil]

My best friend is someone I've known and been RPing with for over ten years, we've talked through text and vocal messengers, and still RP using AIM, and yet we've never met. I plan on that changing though by flying out to where she lives one day and just staying for at least a week.

I value friendships a lot, because I grew up not having any or very few "alright" friends, until I joined Xbox Live(Who I would later go and meet some in person), the Wasteland Weekend community and my Central Valley Costumers group, and my friends just went high after that. I'm happy.

 

[TWD26]

This song pretty much sums me up the past 4 years in the friendship category and relationships in my life in general.