Found Adrift

[Xyrael]

Today was an especially cloudy day on Tython, the swirls of grey and white reaching down to try and clasp at the upper reaches of the Temple. The spires defied the clouds, however, immovable and defiant structures that embodied, in this moment, the spirit of the Jedi. A chill zephyr brushed through Saia's black hair and dark grey robes as she perched on a bench near the fountain that had marked the beginning of her own journey. She was alone here, for now; the Padawans that had frolicked here during her time were now busy with their studies more than ever. How the war had changed things.

She felt for a moment as though her heart would sink because of this, but she kept in the back of her mind the pleasant encounter with her old friend Akacen. He always made her smile, and made her remember what was important about being a Jedi. She thought him a better man than she, especially since they had trained together a decade ago; she had sacrificed her dreams too many times.

Hopefully now, with this Padawan, she could instill a new sense of hope in a comrade who would no doubt risk their own life on the battlefields alongside her. There was so much to fight for, that much she had learned. That had changed her, but it had made her realize that far too few people understand the stake of the war. This was the reason she had returned to Tython to begin with, the fate of the Galaxy rested in the words the Knights gave to their pupils, and she had to be sure they understood what it was that they were trained to do.

She had read about Lei'Vor, and the girl reminded her of herself in so many ways. More ways that Saia could dare to say. She absently scratched at an itch on the scar on her back, activated by the subconscious thoughts that wracked her mind. She remembered her own dark past, sheltering those thoughts in her mind. She had faced them, and some day this padawan would face hers. But not yet, she had to be ready. Ready to tackle her past and ready to tackle the future, but always alive in the moment and never elsewhere.

Saia's faced turned to a smile as she felt the girl approaching from a distance; a beacon of emotion much like she had been when she was to meet her first master for the first time. She couldn't help but smile wider as a gust of cold wind blew mist from the fountain at her face, and she wondered if she herself were excited also. Maybe. It had been a long time since she felt that way.

 

[Lei'Vor]

Lei glanced up at the sky and grumbled a little. It was cold, way too cold for her liking. She had been given some new clothes and was wrapped up in a new cloak, although it was a little itchy. Lei glared at Stranger as he flew about in a rather large gust wind. Lei hated being cold, she used to be cold all the time.

Lei snuggled a little more into the new dark brown cloak she wore, watching Stranger as she walked to meet her new Master. She finally stopped infront of the lady that would be teaching her, giving a small smile.

Lei finally withdrew from her cloak a little as she examined the woman infront of her, the faint smile still there, although it was quite obviously a nervous smile. Stranger finally stopped goofing off as Lei did this and landed on Lei's shoulder.

"Master Typhelon right?" She said looking even more nervous. "I'm Lei" She stayed silent for a moment before Stranger squeeked and tugged Lei's ear.
"This is Stranger by the way"

 

[Xyrael]

"Please, call me Saia. Calling me master makes me feel old," she joked with a smile, bouncing off the bench and towards the Padawan. Thankfully Saia had grown some, so she wasn't quite as short as Lei, but she couldn't help but stare at the peculiar creature perched on the girls shoulder, ear in mouth. Saia raised an eyebrow, "Hello... Stranger."

The creature was peculiar but cute, she had to admit. It reminded her of an animal she had kept as a pet many years ago, but that creature had come and gone as all life does. She put her attention back towards Lei, "It's cold, isn't it? That's what you get when you build a Temple on top of a mountain, I guess. It's better than being too hot, at least. Just add more clothes and you'll stay warm," she turned back to the bench where she had been sitting and grabbed a thicker cloak she had expected Lei would need. It used to be hers, but she rarely needed such heavy robes anymore. "Take this, it'll make you warmer."

She motioned for Lei to follow her as she walked closer towards the fountain, the gusts of wind dying down. The air soon became filled only with the sound of the water splashing down on itself, several round and weathered stones breaking the surface of the water. It was a calming place, despite being at the foot of the center of the ever busier Jedi Order. Saia moved to the edge of the water and leaned down to look at the ripples in the water, pondering her Padawan's thoughts for a moment.

"Tell me about yourself, Lei. What drives you to embrace the Force, what makes you want to be a Jedi?" the question was a simple one but an essential starting point for their relationship. Saia needed to understand Lei before she could teach her.

 

[Lei'Vor]

Lei nodded a little as she followed what Saia was saying. Taking the thick cloak she smiled in thanks as she quickly shrugged off her own cloak and put it on, she wore rather casual civilian clothing underneath instead of typical jedi garmets.

She didn't actually reply to Saia's first question, it seemed a little rhetorical so Lei simply followed along after the gesture. Standing next to Saia by the edge of the fountain. She looked up as Saia spoke again, Stranger had become oddly quiet.


"Tell me about yourself, Lei. What drives you to embrace the Force, what makes you want to be a Jedi?"

Lei blinked a little and sighed. Well that was an annoying question. She stood there a little stiffly, how should she answer. Should she just say what Saia would want to hear? No... No Lei should answer truthfully which caused her to look rather nervous.

"I don't really know. I guess... Well at first it was just cause you guys fed me really" She blushed at that. "Strangers original owner said I would get help here." She pet Stranger as she talked about him. "Guess I hope it's true, I hope you guys can help me and... I kinda want to make sure what happened to my family doesn't happen to others"

Lei's face got rather hard as she spoke the last bit. She didn't want to speak of it, but she had told herself she would be completely honest with Saia, so she would.

"I don't really know all that much about the force though" Lei sighed at this "I was always too busy struggling with my emotions to relly understand it. Or so I was told"

 

[Xyrael]

Saia took in the information but kept her eyes on the water of the fountain. She had read the dossier that briefed her on Lei. The documents took that bit of her past and stripped the emotion from it. Despite that, she could relate. "Trust me, Lei, losing what you love is never easy," she exhaled hesitantly, "but it is a part of life. Whether it is murder, accident, or natural, everything perishes."

She thought longer, knowing words rang hollow in the soul. She had been fortunate enough to have had her mother erase her memories even as she had been killed before her; Saia could live her life without remembering those moments for years. But she had never escaped the feeling of being lost and alone. She turned her head to face Lei and smiled, "Once you understand the Force, Lei, you will understand that your family, friends, and loved ones will always be with you. It connects us all, and through it we are all one. Death and life are both equally woven into the Force, because the Force flows through us and gives us life."

"I know the pain you feel. I also watched my family die...," she continued, not wanting to delve deeper into that memory. She wasn't afraid of it, but she knew the memory was not something to be looked into without necessity. "But you mustn't let the emotions created by those memories dictate who you are, or what you will become. If you do, you risk becoming the very figure which created that pain for you."

She sighed for a moment and looked at Lei and her pet. There was a mixture of emotions about the girl; fear and wonder. "What do you understand about the Force?" she asked, ending the question slowly to let Lei know that it implied further questions and was not condescending.

 

[Lei'Vor]

Lei listened silently as Saia talked. Standing there and awkwardly avoiding eye contact as she did. Despite this it was obvious that she was paying attention. Body language showing that Lei was listening quite intently, from clenched fists to a sympathetic smile.

Lei once again stood pondering the question for awhile. Toeing the ground through her shoe as she did. After a few moments of silence Lei spoke up again.

"Well I know that it's in everything and ties us together." She smiled a little "I like to think of it as a web connecting everything" A shrug accompanied her words "Last person I told that to thought it was funny"

Lei paused for a moment to gather her thoughts again. "I know you can sense things and people through it. I can usually tell where Stranger is and I'm pretty sure it's the force. Kinda just... Guides me to him, assuming I just trust it"

Strangers chest puffed up as he heard his name but otherwise he stayed silent. Toeing the ground again Lei explained some more "I've seen people do lots of other stuff too. Saw someone levitate an engine before I came to the temple. I see people run faster and jump higher than they should be able to." She smiled a little "So I guess it's just using that connection to interact with the world huh? Learning how to use it like I would my hands?"

Lei suddenly blushed and looked away "Guess I do know about the force too... Sorry"

 

[Xyrael]

"Oh, nothing to be sorry for Lei. That's perfectly fine, I would've been surprised if you were here and knew nothing of the Force," she offered a smile to Lei, her eyes glancing between the rugger and the girl. "But the Force is more than just jumping high, lifting things, and anticipating events. It is a," she paused for a second, considering the right words to use. Lei was the first Padawan that Saia had taken on, and she had never really explained the Force to another before, "web, like you say, that binds together all things, animate and inanimate. It fills us and the spaces between us, and it is influenced by us. Even those who aren't Jedi can impact the Force, though they don't understand how."

She stopped smiling as she continued to explain. "Through the Force our thoughts are made manifest. But there is danger in this, because the Force itself is neither intrinsically good or evil; it is we who unveil the Light side or cast the Dark side. I can transmit my happiness," she said, sending out a wave of comforting emotion towards the Padawan, "or I can manipulate my hate. I can connect with the living, tend their wounds, slow their diseases; I can influence the presence of a rock, lifting it or brushing the sand out of the recesses and cracks; I can even alter myself, becoming stronger, faster, lighter. And, with practice, I can even anticipate what the Force will do, blocking blaster bolts or even seeing the future." Saia herself was an adherent to the Unifying Force, though she would fervently refute the idea that one had a fate or destiny. She simply believed that people were the catalysts for action, and the Force was the medium for that change.

"I can do this because I am one with the Force, and the Force is one with everything. Within the Force you become part of an interconnected web, where every action creates a vibration. Tune yourself to this web, and you'll be able to send out your own vibrations," she smiled, "but always be mindful of yourself. Never allow yourself to succumb to your emotions, to alter the Force to malevolently harm others for whatever reason. If you do so, then you will only create Darkness."

Saia paused and looked at the small pond for a moment. "So, are you ready for your first test?"

 

[Lei'Vor]

Lei was grinning as Saia talked. She liked her master, normally most lessons left her feeling stupid and angry. Then again she had started trying to stop being angry all the time. Well not really stop being angry, but 'letting her anger go'.

Lei's grin widened even further as Saia stole the term web from her. Stranger was starting to get a little restless so Lei unconciously told him to go play. Not even noticing she did so through the force. Stranger responded to the command as if it was an everyday thing and went off to play in the fountain while Lei listened to her master.

Lei nodded some her smile dissapearing at the word test. Every test she had come across had been written. Since she couldn't read, well she couldn't really write now could she? So she looked really nervous all of a sudden but never the less nodded.

"Alright..." Lei managed to essentially squeek out rather quietly.

 

[Xyrael]

She sat down by the fountain and patted for her padawan to do the same beside her. The clouds above still churned, and another breeze blew across the small courtyard. Around them the leaves of several trees rustled in the wind, and the gusts whistled through the mountain valleys.

"Close your eyes," she said, doing so herself, "and concentrate on finding the calm in the center of your mind. Concentrate on a single point of focus in your mind, deny yourself all emotions and your memories; underneath them all you will find serenity, and when you find serenity you will find the strongest connection with the Force." She quickly washed away her own thoughts and began to meditate as she had done hundreds of times before, envisioning the objects around her in the Force. Her mind's eye turned to Lei and she watched her Padawan's progress; she wasn't expecting the Padawan to succeed. Most had difficulty finding the center and pushing out the positive emotions, and more often than not they did not even know what they were looking for even when they had found it.

 

[Lei'Vor]

Lei followed Saia's instruction, sitting down and closing her eyes trying to obtain this focus. First she was simply thinking about how stupid it felt to be sitting there with her eyes closed while Stranger was busy splashing about in the water.

Then she tried to stop thinking. That just got her a little frustrated since it isn't exactly a straight forward process. Lei sat there thinking about absolutely everything she didn't want to, memories replaying and going on an emotional rollercoaster.

Then there was a rather big and loud splash from Stranger. Lei wanted to glare at the little critter but didn't want to dissapoint her master by giving up already.

Grr why is Stranger being so annoying? I mean just cause he gets to... Lei suddenly stopped in her thought processes as she remember what Saia said again. Wait if I just focus on Stranger maybe that'll work.

So Lei refocused herself again. Oddly quite calm now she thought she might have a solution. She focused purely on Stranger along with the noise she could hear from him and the joy simply coming off of Stranger in waves.

While this didn't work perfectly, Lei still hadn't tapped into the force properly, she couldn't feel it living and breathing around her completely it was certainly something, she could feel and see it coming from Stranger and the fountain he was playing in.

Slowly Lei began to be able to see it as well, grinning widely as she did she tried to focus more intently on it, wanting to see more than the half formed fountain with Stranger in it.

This however set Lei's thoughts on track again and the whole thing started to collapse.

 

[Xyrael]

Saia beamed out a thought of satisfaction with Lei into the young Padawan's mind, pleased that the girl had pushed past her frustrations. Still, she wanted to test the girl. She focused on reducing her own presence in the Force so that, even if the Padawan had been able to sense her before, she wouldn't be able to now. Not without focusing much more intensely on her meditation.

Once Saia was satisfied and felt the young Padawan was suitably entranced by her meditation, she opened her eyes and looked to the lake, extending her arm and slowly gathering drops of water from the fountain. Lei's pet, Stranger, wasn't tall enough to reach the droplets as they coalesced into a larger, floating orb of water.

Saia couldn't help but grin as she waited, watching the girl meditate. With a thought and flick of her wrist, she launched the small orb at the girl. She was sure to keep the velocity low enough for her to react, assuming she had any skill at sensing the future.

 

[Lei'Vor]

Lei was still sitting on the ground, legs crossed and eyes closed. Slightly frustrated again but attempting to ease herself out if it. It seemed she would calm rapidly before becoming frustrated with herself again.

She blinked a little getting the feeling that something was different, wrong. First she could no longer feel Saia around, despite Lei having not noticed it previously she suddenly became acutely aware of Saia's dissapearence.

Lei was too busy trying to find Saia's presence again that she didn't notice another small ripple in the force. However something was insisting that she open her eyes. Doing so Lei caught sight of a ball of water just as it hit her.

Lei cursed under her breath at herself. Somehow she knew if she had of been paying more attention to the force itself she would've noticed it. The fact Stranger was dancing from foot to foot as if to laugh at Lei didn't help the now slightly wet girl.

 

[Xyrael]

Saia giggled at her Padawan's misfortune, despite knowing that it wouldn't reinforce her Padawan's confidence any. "Oh, Lei, you almost had it!" she smiled, hoping to comfort her wet Padawan. "Make sure that you're always aware of your surroundings, never let yourself be vulnerable. What is happening around you is always more important than what happens elsewhere, because it is more directly in your control."

"Remember, when you meditate, you can see everything, even things that are not there. When I make myself small in the Force, that doesn't mean that things I do don't impact just as they do. Events occur like ripples in the Force, when you know what to look for, you can see even the undetectable."

Saia looked to the rugger and smiled as the animal seemed to enjoy Lei's discomfort. Saia knew that Lei had only been able to meditate because of that animal, and she was afraid that her Padawan would become too attached to the creature. If it were to pass, or be taken from her, she would be weakened. She'd have to learn to meditate in other ways. Her eyes turned back to Lei Vor. She knew that the girl had never received a proper education because of her history, she was illiterate and had some learning problems that would probably make learning at this age challenging. In truth it was not a significant detriment to being a Jedi; the Jedi learned aesthetics not mundane facts. Still, her inability to read probably prevented her from really delving into the history of the Jedi, so Saia accepted that she would have to be patient.

"Have you heard the Code of the Jedi Order?" Saia asked. There were two that she had herself memorized, though she figured if she asked Akacen or another more intellectual Jedi they would be able to provide more information; they were important tenets of the Order, but they were practically useful as well.

 

[Lei'Vor]

Lei listenedintently and nodded eagerly, easily ignoring the little pet now. She eagerly listened and processed what Saia said at the same time. Lei nodded along after each point, the water no longer bothering her.

When Saia asked if she knew the jedi code Lei couldn't help but blush, quite heavily at that. "Well see they went to teach us it and all but umm... They kinda gave it to me on a datapad and I can't read" Lei saidthe last part as rapidly as she could.

Lei awkwardly shuffled around after speaking, still blushing. Obviously a little embarrassed about the fact, mostly due to formerly being picked on for it.

"I do know that Jedi believe in peace though. That and not letting your emotions control you, something like that" She said quite suddenly hoping Saia would ignore the fact Lei couldn't read.

 

[Xyrael]

Saia nodded as Lei stated what she more than likely considered an embarrassing fact. In truth, Saia could care less; she was a patient woman and wise enough to know that a small fact like that did little to impact Lei's character. "Reading," Saia began tentatively, knowing Lei would prefer to avoid the subject, "is not as important as understanding. Many people can read, but few can understand. So, if you want to learn, pay attention."

She smiled at Lei, something she did habitually. Her blue eyes cast themselves into Lei's own for a moment before she began. "A thousand years ago there existed an Order of Jedi before this one, one which held a much stricter view on emotion. Their Code is, essentially, a simple five line verse which still, today, serves to tell us what the Jedi strive for. There is more to the code than these five lines, but it is outdated. Still, I find it helpful when I meditate to repeat the Code over and over again, because no matter how old the ideas they are fundamentally true."

"That code is:
'There is no Emotion; There is Peace
There is no Ignorance; There is Knowledge
There is no Passion; There is Serenity
There is no Chaos; There is Harmony
There is no Death; There is the Force.'"

She paused after; despite the Code being dated, it was still perhaps the single most discussed point of Jedi philosophy, surpassing even Grandmaster Skywalker's Code. "Tell me, Lei, what do you think of the old Code?"

 

[Lei'Vor]

Lei still sat there, meeting Saia's eye contact as she spoke, listening quite intently and then nodding once Saia finished reciting the code. Scratching the top of her neck a little before replying.

"It's kinda wrong" She said while looking away from Saia's gaze. "I mean... You can't just not have emotions..."

Lei let her hand drop a little. "Kinda sounds like theyre setting goals too." Lei shrugged a little at this "Guess it could be kinda helpful repeating a line over and over. Like if you were angry you could just repeat the first line until you were calm or something."

Lei looked back at Saia and shrugged again "I dunno I guess I just don't see why we would have feelings if we're not meant to express them. Not let them get the best of us, sure. But express them none the less"

Lei looked away again gulping a little. She hoped she hadn't offended Saia.

 

[Xyrael]

Saia's smile grew as she heard the young Padawan express her thoughts on the old Code. She had hit the nail on the head, whether she knew it or not. The Code was old for a reason - it had led to the downfall of the Old Jedi Order. "Exactly. Denying emotions at all times is impossible, and the expectation to do so makes those who cannot ultimately feel pressured and unable to communicate their issues with their peers; this directly lead to the downfall of the Old Order. The Order has changed since the days that that Code was written, we accept emotion as having a positive and necessary influence in our life. Still, the old Code represents a paragon, it is that peace and harmony that we must strive for," Saia let her smiled fade as she paused for a moment. "When I meditate, and seek to find the serenity within myself, I find that the old Code helps remind me of what it is that I need to shed to do so."

"You should be aware, though, that if you become too emotionally attached to something, you risk making yourself vulnerable to the Dark Side. Loss of love, without proper training, will lead to anger, vengeance, desperation. This can only drive you down a Dark path. Always be prepared for loss and accept it," her eyes turned to Lei's pet rugger and she smiled, "Cherish what you have in the moment, but when those moments pass, do not cling to them. Becoming lost in the past and worrying about what happened will prevent you from accepting what is already happening."

Her cerulean eyes turned to the girl before her, and she wondered how well her aesthetic words echoed in the girls mind. She would have time to truly learn them, to allow them to become a real part of her. Saia would ensure of that. "Tell me, what do you think of this Code:
'Jedi are the guardians of peace in the galaxy.
Jedi use their powers to defend and to protect.
Jedi respect all life, in any form.
Jedi serve others rather than ruling over them, for the good of the galaxy.
Jedi seek to improve themselves through knowledge and training.'"

Saia herself had always frankly thought to herself that the verses were too unbalanced poetically and were a bit more difficult to memorize, but the Code itself was true as well; regardless of it's lack of appeal to her artistic sensibilities.

 

[Lei'Vor]

Lei listened quite intently to her master. Nodding along still and frowning at the mention of letting things go. Two other people had mentioned that to her as well. Lei however still just nodded. She knew that well enough, she'd become scared and angry when she lost her parents. As a result her life took a fall and she did a lot of things she regretted.

Listening to the second code Lei nodded a little more. "Well that sounds a bit better." Lei sighed slightly though, thinking on the code. She obviously came up with a few seconds judging by the fact she almost spoke several times. But she managed to answer them all by herself.

Stranger came over and Lei pet the Ruggergently giving her master a smile "And I know I'll have to accept Stranger's death one day master" Lei looked away "Probably yours too. But that's fine I think I can do that."

 

[Xyrael]

Saia's smile noticeably weakened as she considered her own death. She had thought on it many times during the course of her Knighthood, and through luck and skill had managed to avoid it. Her eyes looked out to the mountain tops and the churning clouds and she considered the war. "Jedi are the guardians of peace in the Galaxy," she whispered just loud enough for the Padawan to hear her.

"With the war between the Alliance and the Empire, tell me young Padawan, what do you think of that mantra? During times of war, how can we guard peace?"

 

[Lei'Vor]

Lei shrugged a little fiddling with her fingers some.

"Well it's not exactly easy. But I know the Sith are terrible" Lei looked at the fountain intently. "They'll do anything to get what they want" Lei's fists clenched a little. "They are a danger to peace so we have to stop them"

Lei looked down and sighed "I don't really see peace as living without conflict. More so letting people live their lives how they wish." She looked up at Saia "The Sith however won't let that happen."