Dawn of the Republic Character Showcase

[Green Ranger]

Not immediately, but I'm open to doing some form of Dark Side cult in some form or another at some stage. Initially I just want to focus on the Senate and establishing my two characters, since I originally only planned on one. >.>

 

[Korvo]

Karan Anshii​

I was a Nightsister, once. The right hand of one of the greatest minds ever to harness the Magicks of Dathomir. I served as any good apprentice would - aiding in rituals, gathering herbs and preparing tonics, and tending to the Mother's every need. As her First, I was to be her successor, destined to become as powerful and capable a Sorceress as had ever been witnessed on Dathomir. But even the Dathomiri have rites that are considered taboo.

Long ago, a dark power came to Dathomir. We are forbidden to speak of it now, and to learn of its power is considered a heinous crime, punishable only by death...but only if you are caught. For the truly ambitious, such knowledge is impossible to ignore. It is a font of energy that opens up entirely new avenues of power, boundless in scope, terrible in magnitude, unlocked only by hatred and cunning. The Sorcerers fear such a thing, and rightly so. For with it, I overthrew my master, and became chief among my kind.

However, my former master always was crafty. She eluded me in the end, travelling where I could not follow, and striking from the shadows. I saw the power and glory I had worked so hard to build, cut away by a thousand knives, held with invisible hands. The quiet retribution of my former mentor was a terrible thing to behold, and her shadow war cost our homeworld dearly. Only at the end, with our beloved homeland on the brink of utter annihilation, did we agree to a truce. But I know her well - the knives will still come, but they will be in the hands of friends or loved ones. I exorcised myself of these weaknesses, and my power grew evermore in gratitude to my dedication. This, I swear to you - I will turn this great power against Malmourral herself someday, and ascend to my rightful place as the greatest of my kind, fuelled by the power that she herself is too afraid to harness.

For I am strong in the Force, and the Dark Side is my ally.

Blurb for my indie Dark Sider and rival to my Senator main, Malmourral.

Very nice. You have quite the penchant for presentation. I respect that

 

[Marcus]

As per this discussion on stats, I have altered my two characters with narrated stats as well as a little "spoken intro" for each. I would love feedback (PM is cleaner), and they are both linked in my sig right now.

 

[The Derp of Hooves]

So just gonna put this little blurb here for now to see what people think of my three dudes

 

[Kibagami]

After seeing the new tech stuff, I realized the cybernetics for my newest char would be far too advanced for the next timeline. Back to the drawing board...

 

[Aodán Sidal]

I am going to throw my workshop up here for some peer review. I hope to fine tune these as soon as more information comes out.
http://www.thestarwarsrp.com/forum/index.php?threads/aodán-sidals-dawn-workshop.62895/

 

[Wit]

Looking at your profile made me wonder, are the Echani a canon species now? And if not are they allowed, or would people require a species submission to use them?

 

[Aodán Sidal]

It is an interesting question that I have been distantly pondering myself. On its face there isn't really anything wrong with the Echani. I can see how a bad writer might try to abuse the battle sense they are described as having. But that could hardly be considered an broken factor with some of the other races/force abilities. Beyond that they are near human with a penchant for genetic sameness that is passed through family lines. The matriarchal aspect to the society is honestly fascinating coming from a western focused patriarchal society and I personally feel under explored. Basically society wise they take from a lot of early first nation tribal cultures and other primitive warrior cultures, add in a pinch of near eastern Wu Xia feel to the view/actual fighting, and an advanced technological society thrown into a pot and mixed together. I really wish there was more about them than what we get, but sadly they seem overshadowed by the Mandos ( :P )

Still that is just my perspective and one of the main reasons I am submitting the characters for review.

 

[Necris]

http://www.thestarwarsrp.com/forum/...us-construction-zone-dotr.63224/#post-1216608

Here are my two, feed back would be welcome

 

[Cainhurst Crow]

I'd like to thank boe, whose template helped me to really streamline my character. I'm worried I might have made him a bit of a lost cause when it comes to lightening up.

Djura Volfe

​

[fancybox4="http://i1254.photobucket.com/albums/hh611/xsdob/Yarrow%20Character_zpsf9tm2uy3.png"]FULL NAME: Djura Volfe

NICKNAMES/Titles: N/A

AGE: 28


SPECIES: Kiffar

HEIGHT: 5'10 / 179 cm

WEIGHT: 155 lbs / 70 kg


EYE COLOR: Brown

HAIR COLOR: Black

SKIN COLOR: Tan

MARKINGS: Single red dot on his forehead, a Kiffar Facial Tattoo applied when he was very young, the meaning of which he doesn't know. Large scar across his face and missing one eye.

FACTION: Jedi Order

RANK: Knight















PERSONALITY

Djura has a cold demeanor to himself, appearing deadpan in most situations and having a calm air about him, even coming off as dull to some who meet him the first time. Djura however isn't nearly as cold as he likes to put on, possessing a dry sense of humor and a rather reserved attitude that makes it difficult to express himself. He enjoys peaceful scenery and isolation over crowded areas, and has an interest in both painting and surprisingly in the game Dejarik, finding the carved figures used in the game fascinating. Djura can be surprisingly sarcastic when he chooses to, and can be both condescending when angry, with a disregard for the feelings of others. Djura has little care for what people think of him, believing that practical ideas and actions are better then simply hypothetical musings. He enjoys doing things and being proactive, and cannot stand inaction; a trait that can lead him to making brash decisions.

Djura's coldness and desire for action come from guilt, a guilt over his own inaction in the past as well as his mercy and hesitation costing him dearly. Since then, he has taken up the motto that keeping ones distance from others emotionally makes for the best and most clear headed decisions. And that moving forward is more important than looking back, lest you see something from your past you'd rather leave forgotten. Djura holds the plight of common people paramount in helping, and detests battles where innocent people could get roped into fights they never should have been a part of. As such, he tries to be as fast as he can in ending a fight, to stop the problem before it has a chance to become more then mildly dangerous.








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BIOGRAPHY

Djura was recruited into the Jedi order at a young age, an orphan from Taris living in the salvaged slums of the worlds surface and stealing from those who lived in the towering towers above. He managed to get the attention of a passing jedi when, on a dare, Djura climbed up to the top of one of the tallest wrecks on the planet, losing his footing but managing to grab hold of ledge after outcrop until he landed on the ground without a scratch, much to the shock of everyone. The Jedi Knight followed the boy back towards the "orphanage", where most of the kids were simply beeing raised by a few elderly individuals as a shelter and little more, and was being harassed by some of the local security thanks to Djura's thieving antics. The Jedi Knight named Karlo Volfe, intervened to stop the violence by slicing apart the security forces guns, and claiming Djura as under his authority to punish. With little to challenge the knights authority, he left the world with Djura in tow, taking the reluctant orphan under his wing and giving him a last name to go by, for convenience sake more then anything.

Djura, Age 12, spent a number of years in the care of "Ser Volfe", who styled himself after the ancient Sephi warriors of his homeworld Thustra. Karlo taught Djura a great deal when it came to both the force and life, always speaking of the importance of honor and chivalry, especially in these dark times, and often looked to the past with a longing only a long lived species could know. When Ser Volfe took Djura as his apprentice, however, he steered the young man away from taking a similar path as his own, feeling his skills were better suited for something a bit different from the knights heavy saber and shield style. Karlo had Djura learn to utilize his speed and agility in battle, using his own stronger style of combat to push Djura to adapt to strong foes, eventually leading Djura to adopt Ataru as his preferred fighting style. The two grew close, with Karlo considering Djura as almost a son, and Djura considering the pointed eared alien a good friend and mentor.

Their first mission was to scout out a rumor about sith activity on Bandomeer, with most suspecting it would be little more then a wild bantha chase, and so Ser Volfe and Padawan Volfe going in alone. The two spent days investigating the harsh and industrial planet, finding a string of disappearances occurring at the dead of night, particularly involving children. When the two narrowed their search to an abandoned mine, they ended up walking into an ambush laid by a dark jedi, who sent Djura crashing down a mine-shaft as Karlo fought the darksider. In the dark, Djura found himself injured and alone, with only his lightsaber to give him light as he tried to make his way back up to the surface. As he searched, he stumbled upon someone who tried to attack him, Djura disarming and holding the person at saberpoint as he saw a kid, no more then 11 years old, with his hands in the air and pleading to be spared. Djura did so, helping the kid up and finding out the childs name was Ataz, one of the first children to go missing.

Something was off however, something Djura could simply feel, a crawling of his spine and chill in his bones he couldn't place. Shrugging it off as the darksider, Djura and Ataz traveled through the dark until they reached the surface, where Karlo had the darksider on the ground and was pressing him to surrender. That was when Djura felt a pull on his belt, as his saber was drawn by someone other then him. He turned to look towards Ataz, and only managed to glimpse the murderous smile on his face as he sliced Djura across the face, blinding one of his eyes and sending him to the ground screaming. Ataz, the apprentice of the dark jedi who had kidnapped former bullies of his to murder, charged at Karlo, distracting the jedi as he had to fend off against two opponents, unwilling to harm Ataz and forced onto the defensive. Djura struggled back to his feet, spearing Ataz and wrestling with the young man to reclaim his weapon, wresting it from Ataz's grasp as the young man again begged for mercy.

Djura hesitated, not having it in him to murder someone as young as he was, and was desperate to see the good in the young man. Ataz used his freeze to gouge his burnt eye, before throwing Djura's saber and finding it's mark across Karlo's back, wounding the jedi and opening him for a viscous slash from the dark jedi. Djura, horrified and in pain, struck out against Ataz as he stayed on the younger boy's chest, raining blow after blow as both tears and blood dripped upon him. Ataz tried to use the force to choke Djura, who reached down and wrapped his hands around the others neck in response. Ataz could barely get the word please out of his plea as Djura did not stop, squeezing as hard as he could and unintentionally crushing the others windpipe, ensuring he would suffocate as Djura went to help his master. Djura did his best to fight the darksider, the bloodloss and trauma he felt leading him to use pure instincts and fear to fight, and managed to lure the darksider to turn his back on a wounded Karlo, who struck out at the Dark Jedi to impale the man through the gut, wounding him greatly but not killing him.

As the dark jedi fell to his knees, he was now eye level to the twelve year old Djura, lightsaber in hand as he looked at the mans pain filled face. He did not hesitate this time, and with one sweep cut off the man's head. Djura went to tend to his master, but found the Sephi looking saddened by his apprentices actions, fearful for what he'd been through and what he'd seen the young man do. Ser Volfe's injuries left him unable to wield his shield, and left him much slower then he'd previously been. But even with such injuries, Karlo insisted on Djura to get some rest first, and that he never do what he did back in the mines, fearing that the young man would become tempted by vengeance and anger. Djura however did not take his masters advice, finding himself remembering every moment of his battle whenever he wasn't moving, wasn't training, or wasn't doing something. Like a droid, Djura did task after task, anything to keep his mind preoccupied and keep the visions out of his mind. Eventually, it was determined that the best medicine for Djura was to send him on more missions, and he was parented with another jedi master while Karlo rested.

Years passed, and master after master praised the young man for his speed and combat prowess, yet did not approve of his cold and callous approach to dealing with his foes, as he tended to dispatch foes first and never give them the chance to surrender. The scars of his first mission kept creeping into his new ones, blending together in Djura's mind as he struggled to keep himself under control. Eventually, as the battles with the sith became more hard-fought, so did Djura's resolve to see the sith crushed and stamped out in whatever shadowy corners they were hiding. Djura took on jobs few others in the order would take, such as hunting down jedi who defected and would go rogue. However, one day his master, Karlo Volfe, defected from the order; his last known coordinates taking him to Obroa-Skai, as Djura hunted down his master. He found the elderly Sephi waiting for him, telling him the true reason for his act to defect from the republic and jedi.

Karlo argued the jedi were losing their way, becoming obsessed with stomping out the dark side at the cost of people's lives, and that as things went on and more and more crushing punishments enacted, some entire worlds paying the price of war, that all it brought was dishonor on the jedi, and the very suffering they were trying to prevent. Djura tried to reason with his master, but the man had resolved to not only leave the order, but do what he could to oppose their march to war, with karlo insisting that only through passive resistance of the dark side and helping the people on their worlds could the dark side be defeated. If Djura was going to stop Karlo, he'd need to battle him to do it. So Volfe faced off against Volfe, and after a pitched battle, Djura disarmed Karlo by cutting off the man's arms, holding him at his mercy as he stared down at his former master, whose sad eyes pierced into his soul, and told him that nothing had changed. That even in defeat, Karlo would never submit to what the jedi had become.

Djura did not hesitate, and with as quick a motion as he could, ended his masters life. Djura never gave up the last name Volfe, holding onto it as the last connection he had to a long past friend, even as he worked to put the rest of his life behind him. Djura withdrew from more and more battles afterwards, taking his masters words seriously as he began to wonder if what he was doing could ever be considered right? That perhaps the ends of stopping the sith didn't justify the means of doing it at any cost. The conflict within Djura grew and grew, as he worked to keep fighting people, and pushing the thoughts of whether he was doing the right thing by showing no mercy out of his mind.

And all the while, Djura wonders. What if his master was right, about the jedi, and about everything? If mercy was the path of the jedi, and the path of honor; Then what did that make him? To this day, the answer to that question eludes Djura. And he hopes, above all, that he'll never have to find out.


[/fancybox2]
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Abilities and Stats​

[fancybox2]
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FORCE SENSITIVE: Yes

STRENGTH: Djura has average strength, with occasional bursts of strength that tie into strong emotions. His strength is comparable to that of an average human in most situations.

DEXTERITY: Djura is extremely dexterous, able to use both of his hands with ease and preferring speed to power. His small height makes him adapt at dodging, and he often channels the force into his movements.

CONSTITUTION: Djura has a moderately high defense, able to survive and even endure blows and strikes that would normally severely injure others. His capabilities however remain only slightly above that of a baseline humans.

INTELLIGENCE: Djura is smart, and he is quick witted, but he is not what many would consider an academic. Growing up destitute, Djura is mostly street smart, having had to learn how to read and write mostly on his own, before meeting Ser Volfe. He prefers action and instict to thinking and planning.

WISDOM: Djura learns from his past mistakes and works to not repeat them, doing his best to remember what he can.

CHARISMA: Djura is not a very charming person personality wise, and his looks while roguish are also not the most pleasant on the eyes. Although there is a certain charm in his dryness, he isn't the kind of person to talk his way out of a situation.


FORCE POWERS:

LIGHTSABER/SWORD FORMS: Shii-Cho, Ataru[/fancybox2][fancybox2]

Associates and Friends:

GEAR:

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[Tsunami]

Strengths, Weaknesses & Powers:​

[fancybox4="http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm21/AltsEct/Telekinetic%20LSC.jpg"] Do not be fooled by her small stature. Valeria is not only highly intelligent but has an incredibly potent control over the force. While she is somewhat fragile in physical aspects of combat she more than makes up for by using the force defensively. Opting to take the approach of outlasting her opponents rather than winning through sheer brute force. Due to her natural talent for force use she often finds herself off the frontlines using her battle meditation to influence the tide of battle. Lacking in any real form of lightsaber combat Valeria struggles against those who choose to fight her in melee combat, especially those who use aggressive lightsaber forms, still new to her niche of telekinetic lightsaber combat she often avoids a physical fight at all costs! Despite her inability to fit in a frontline environment it is not unheard of for her to be placed there vs highly force sensitive opponents such as Jedi Knights and Masters specialising in force usage...

STRENGTH: 3/10
DEXTERITY: 4/10
CONSTITUTION: 5/10
INTELLIGENCE: 7/10
WISDOM: 6/10
CHARISMA: 7/10

FORCE POWERS:

• Basic Force Powers (Master Proficiency)
• Force Deflection (Master Proficiency)
• Tutaminis (Expert Proficiency)
• Telekinesis (Expert Proficiency)
• Protection Bubble (Expert Proficiency)
• Battle Meditation (Capable Proficiency)
• Force Scream (Capable Proficiency)
• Force Lighting (Learning in Progress)

LIGHTSABER FORMS:

• Telekinetic Lightsaber Combat (Capable Proficiency)

[/fancybox4]

Any Feedback on the current state of my characters stats would be appreciated! I would like to keep the basis of her character very similar if possible, however I have heard through the grape vine that there is a lot of stuff in the air regarding stuff like protection bubble and Tutaminis!

 

[Vayate Merrick]

This what I have so far. And it is all subject to change... Especially if I can do a three section staff/lightsaber pike hybrid... :3

 

[Braden]

I am going to throw my workshop up here for some peer review. I hope to fine tune these as soon as more information comes out.
http://www.thestarwarsrp.com/forum/index.php?threads/aodán-sidals-dawn-workshop.62895/

I only gave this a quick overview but the first thing i wanted to point out is in the new timeline they are kind of getting rid of the padawan level. Everyone can start as a Knight or Sith Equivalent level. They have said you can be a padawan but it does mean that 97% of other force users are going to imidatley be more powerful than you.

Strengths, Weaknesses & Powers:​

[fancybox4="http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm21/AltsEct/Telekinetic%20LSC.jpg"] Do not be fooled by her small stature. Valeria is not only highly intelligent but has an incredibly potent control over the force. While she is somewhat fragile in physical aspects of combat she more than makes up for by using the force defensively. Opting to take the approach of outlasting her opponents rather than winning through sheer brute force. Due to her natural talent for force use she often finds herself off the frontlines using her battle meditation to influence the tide of battle. Lacking in any real form of lightsaber combat Valeria struggles against those who choose to fight her in melee combat, especially those who use aggressive lightsaber forms, still new to her niche of telekinetic lightsaber combat she often avoids a physical fight at all costs! Despite her inability to fit in a frontline environment it is not unheard of for her to be placed there vs highly force sensitive opponents such as Jedi Knights and Masters specialising in force usage...

STRENGTH: 3/10
DEXTERITY: 4/10
CONSTITUTION: 5/10
INTELLIGENCE: 7/10
WISDOM: 6/10
CHARISMA: 7/10

FORCE POWERS:

• Basic Force Powers (Master Proficiency)
• Force Deflection (Master Proficiency)
• Tutaminis (Expert Proficiency)
• Telekinesis (Expert Proficiency)
• Protection Bubble (Expert Proficiency)
• Battle Meditation (Capable Proficiency)
• Force Scream (Capable Proficiency)
• Force Lighting (Learning in Progress)

LIGHTSABER FORMS:

• Telekinetic Lightsaber Combat (Capable Proficiency)

[/fancybox4]

Any Feedback on the current state of my characters stats would be appreciated! I would like to keep the basis of her character very similar if possible, however I have heard through the grape vine that there is a lot of stuff in the air regarding stuff like protection bubble and Tutaminis!

This does seem a bit OP to me. Some of those powers are extremely advanced, Battle Meditation is only used by some of the most powerful force users. Protection Bubble is also a rare skill. I am assuming she is a Jedi if so Scream and Lighting i don't think would be taught. As lightning needs the user to tap into emotions the Jedi believe relates to the dark side. And lightsaber forms, one I am not sure if these are still cannon and if so, Telekinetic Lightsaber Combat is again a very advanced form. Something like Soresu would fit better with what your character would use, a defensive stance. Or maybe Shi-Cho.

 

[Marcus]

@Braden Drake We actually have many Jedi who are choosing to start as Padawans so they will have many friends at that level. We are also making sure these Pads have masters to train them up. I am looking forward to these characters without the required tedium the old training could bring.

EDIT: We should also recognize that most Pads unless brand spanking new are going to be pretty battle hardened, given the turmoil. These won't be babies waving glow sticks in a blank room with Yoda. Young Warriors!

 

[Noctyr]

Looking for feedback!

Spoiler

Sevarin "Sev" Telluria​

[fancybox4="http://i474.photobucket.com/albums/rr102/KurotsukiBlade/b821ff0c-9a79-46eb-bebf-2f472ccb2c3f_zpswbblghd0.jpg"]FULL NAME: Sevarin Telluria
TITLES: Prince Sevarin Telluria of House Mecetti and Senator Telluria of Obulette
AGE: 20
SPECIES: Human
SEXUALITY: Heterosexual

HEIGHT: 5'8"
WEIGHT: 166 lbs

EYE COLOR: Red
HAIR COLOR: Black
SKIN COLOR: Olive
MARKINGS: N/A

FACTION: Lords of the Sith
RANK: ???
CLASS: Assassin

HOMEWORLD: Obulette
LANGUAGES: Basic, Tapani (Obulettan Dialect), Sith, Hapan, Huttese, Binary (Only understands)

A member of the nobility from the Tapani sector and heir to the Lordship of House Mecetti, Sev has strong ties to the Sith Order, his bloodline having produced some of the greatest and most terrifying Sith Lords to have ever graced the Galaxy. Pushed by his family to continue in their footsteps, the young man has lived his entire life to pursue the goals of the Sith in secret, using his high social status and political pull as a means to an end. Yet Sev cannot help but feel conflicted, for the Sith's sadistic methods leave room for doubt in the young Sith's mind, and draw him towards the light...[/fancybox4]

GENERAL INFORMATION​

[fancybox2]

Personality: Conflicted between the light and dark sides of the force, Sev's personality is quite two-faced. Polite and refined when in his role as senator for Obulette, Sev appears to be relatively kind, but steadfast in his resolve. But in his role as a Sith, he becomes more rigid and does his best to detach himself. He recites the teachings of the Sith in his mind, stating them almost as a matter of fact, although if one were able to read his thoughts, they would see the doubt he held behind those words. The combination of having been raised as a Tapani noble and member of the Sith has shaped Sev into someone whose emotions are almost always in conflict between the light and dark sides of the force, concealed by the public persona he adopts as a member of the Senate. This conflict has produced instances where he performed acts that weren't necessarily in line with the Sith code, such as helping the weak or those in need. Yet there have also been instances where he has performed acts in line with the dark side, as if to prove to his family that he was worthy of taking on the mantle of his forefathers. It is this constant internal conflict of emotions that serves as Sev's greatest downfall.

Strengths and Weaknesses: Although Sev is an exceptional lightsaber wielder and is particularly dangerous due to his force bond ability, this serves as a double edged sword, in some cases leaving room for hesitation in his actions since he can sense the raw emotion coming from the fighting style of the person he fights against.

But more than anything, Sev is afraid.

Afraid that he will never live up to the reputation of his bloodline.

Afraid to see innocents hurt or killed.

Afraid of dying, for the Sith grant death upon those who are deemed weak, and the Jedi intend to destroy the Sith Order in it's entirety.

Afraid of the very emotions of sorrow and empathy he feels in the face of horrific acts he may have had a part in, for he feels it weakens his connection to the dark side.

Afraid for the safety of the Tapani people, particularly those he has sworn to represent in the Senate.

How might this weakness play out against him in combat? Here are a few examples.

Someone who channels anger into their strikes might cause Sev to become somewhat afraid to press the offensive, out of fear for the risk of exposing himself to injury.

Someone who expresses sorrow in their fighting style might cause Sev to avoid a decisive blow, because he might feel empathy towards them.

Someone who is afraid while fighting Sev might also cause him to hesitate, as he would be averse to striking down a fearful target unless it was purely out of self defense.

Skills

Force Bond - Sev has an unintentional and uncanny ability to form a force bond with those he fights. This is the primary reason that he has not completely fallen into the trappings of the dark side, but it also means that he is more easily influenced, for he literally begins to sense the raw emotion of the individual he fights, which could leave room for hesitation. The bond becomes stronger with each subsequent fight with that individual, and is especially potent around force sensitives. However, this is a two way street. Those he fights are more easily able to sense Sev's raw emotion, especially if that person is force sensitive. An especially powerful force user (A Jedi Master or Sith Lord, for instance) might be able to even sense hesitation within Sev's moves as he fights.

Lightsaber Savant - Sev's lightsaber style transitions quickly between that of Juyo and Soresu in a manner that is reflective of his own internal conflict. Juyo representing his attunement to the dark side and Soresu reflecting his tendency to be drawn towards the light. When applied in the correct ratio, the constant transition between the unrelenting offense of Juyo and the unwavering defense of Soresu makes Sev an especially dangerous opponent in lightsaber combat.

Strength: Sev is of average strength for a trained Sith assassin.

Dexterity: As a Sith assassin, Sev's greatest physical attribute is his ability to move swiftly and accurately. He is easily capable of parkour, with or without the assistance of the force, and is insanely fast in lightsaber dueling.

Constitution: Being young and in good shape, Sev's constitution is in line with an athletic human male of his age.

Intelligence: Well educated and a member of Tapani nobility, Sev has held enough wit to survive the political scheming of others in his life thus far, although he isn't necessarily a genius.

Wisdom: Brash at times due to his inexperience in life, Sev has a tendency to let emotion guide his actions.

Charisma: He comes across to many as a strikingly handsome young man with proper etiquette, although he isn't used to speaking with those outside the upper class. As a result, situations can be sometimes awkward for him around common folk.

Force Powers (Novice->Adept->Proficient->Journeyman->Expert->Master)
Force Jump - Proficient
Force Speed - Journeyman
Force Lightning - Novice
Force Cloak - Adept
Force Stealth - Proficient
Force Telekinesis - Adept

Lightsaber Forms
Primary: Form VII: Juyo
Secondary: Form III: Soresu
[/fancybox2]

EQUIPMENT​

[fancybox4="http://i474.photobucket.com/albums/rr102/KurotsukiBlade/SeverinPlate_zpsaruujeh2.png"]
Sev's Lightsaber - Sev's lightsaber is extremely refined and made of expensive materials.
Constructed from a songsteel frame, the weapon houses two rare Lignan crystals utilized in a bifurcating cyclical-ignition pulse system. This modification allows the lightsaber to continue to operate even when submerged, making the weapon fully waterproof. The outer shell is composed of duraplast and adorned with an aurodium lining. The lining alone costing a fortune of credits, this lightsaber serves as a testament to the power and wealth of House Mecetti. The blade is a dark red hue, creating a hissing noise typical of lightsabers of the Sith when activated.

Nyssan Sith Assassin Garb - A black, hooded robe designed for maximum mobility and comfort while still remaining silent, Sev's Sith Assassin garb is light, form fitting, and breathable. A personal energy shield generator is housed within a thin songsteel plate posited at the garb's waistline, serving as the only real protection the garment provides against blaster fire. Designed to dissipate energy bolts across a wider area rather than flat out defeating them, the personal energy shield's purpose is to render lethal shots into ones that instead only injure the wearer. As a result of the garb's focus on lightweight, stealthy design, the shield generator is small and only capable of dissipating one or two blaster bolts before failing in it's entirety.

Translator - The Senate, being composed of countless representatives from the diverse locales of the Republic, is also host to countless languages. To best understand his peers, as fluency in all languages is impossible, Sev carries with him a translator that automatically translates words in real time for him. The translator covers all the most common Galactic languages, and is constantly updated with refinements and new vocabulary with each software update.

[/fancybox4]

ᴘʀᴏғɪʟᴇ ᴄᴏᴅᴇ ʙʏ: ʙᴇᴇ
​

 

[Tsunami]

This does seem a bit OP to me. Some of those powers are extremely advanced, Battle Meditation is only used by some of the most powerful force users. Protection Bubble is also a rare skill. I am assuming she is a Jedi if so Scream and Lighting i don't think would be taught. As lightning needs the user to tap into emotions the Jedi believe relates to the dark side. And lightsaber forms, one I am not sure if these are still cannon and if so, Telekinetic Lightsaber Combat is again a very advanced form. Something like Soresu would fit better with what your character would use, a defensive stance. Or maybe Shi-Cho.

Thanks for the input, I've been waiting all day for someone to reply so I could continue haha.
She is a Sith firstly, I probably should have clarified due to her having blue lightsabers.

Is there any way I can tone down what I currently have without crippling what she is, realistically I want a character that if this was a video game would be a Mage like character. I'm just worried that toning down a character like this would make her useless in PvP.

 

[Braden]

Thanks for the input, I've been waiting all day for someone to reply so I could continue haha.
She is a Sith firstly, I probably should have clarified due to her having blue lightsabers.

Is there any way I can tone down what I currently have without crippling what she is, realistically I want a character that if this was a video game would be a Mage like character. I'm just worried that toning down a character like this would make her useless in PvP.

I would take this with a pinch of salt as I don't know what the new timeline rules on Force Powers will be. I would remove Battle Meditation as it is a pretty useless skill in terms of PVP. Having a mastered basic force powers like push and pull is actually the majority of your PvP powers anyway as you would be using these to throw things around. I would say swap to form 3 for lightsaber form. Also force deflection do you mean deflecting blaster bolts through the force? If so again a little OP. This can be replaced with form 3 which specializes in blaster defense.

@Braden Drake We actually have many Jedi who are choosing to start as Padawans so they will have many friends at that level. We are also making sure these Pads have masters to train them up. I am looking forward to these characters without the required tedium the old training could bring.

EDIT: We should also recognize that most Pads unless brand spanking new are going to be pretty battle hardened, given the turmoil. These won't be babies waving glow sticks in a blank room with Yoda. Young Warriors!

That's My bad, i am only going by the main thread and that most of the characters I am looking at Knights.

 

[Tsunami]

I would take this with a pinch of salt as I don't know what the new timeline rules on Force Powers will be. I would remove Battle Meditation as it is a pretty useless skill in terms of PVP. Having a mastered basic force powers like push and pull is actually the majority of your PvP powers anyway as you would be using these to throw things around. I would say swap to form 3 for lightsaber form. Also force deflection do you mean deflecting blaster bolts through the force? If so again a little OP. This can be replaced with form 3 which specializes in blaster defense..

Looks like I have a lot of thinking to do.

Thank you!

 

[Noctyr]

If anyone has any feedback for my character so far, it'd be appreciated! (Not sure if my earlier post was overlooked. It was spoliered after all...)

 

[Braden]

Looking for feedback!

Spoiler

Sevarin "Sev" Telluria​

[fancybox4="http://i474.photobucket.com/albums/rr102/KurotsukiBlade/b821ff0c-9a79-46eb-bebf-2f472ccb2c3f_zpswbblghd0.jpg"]FULL NAME: Sevarin Telluria
TITLES: Prince Sevarin Telluria of House Mecetti and Senator Telluria of Obulette
AGE: 20
SPECIES: Human
SEXUALITY: Heterosexual

HEIGHT: 5'8"
WEIGHT: 166 lbs

EYE COLOR: Red
HAIR COLOR: Black
SKIN COLOR: Olive
MARKINGS: N/A

FACTION: Lords of the Sith
RANK: ???
CLASS: Assassin

HOMEWORLD: Obulette
LANGUAGES: Basic, Tapani (Obulettan Dialect), Sith, Hapan, Huttese, Binary (Only understands)

A member of the nobility from the Tapani sector and heir to the Lordship of House Mecetti, Sev has strong ties to the Sith Order, his bloodline having produced some of the greatest and most terrifying Sith Lords to have ever graced the Galaxy. Pushed by his family to continue in their footsteps, the young man has lived his entire life to pursue the goals of the Sith in secret, using his high social status and political pull as a means to an end. Yet Sev cannot help but feel conflicted, for the Sith's sadistic methods leave room for doubt in the young Sith's mind, and draw him towards the light...[/fancybox4]

GENERAL INFORMATION​

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Personality: Conflicted between the light and dark sides of the force, Sev's personality is quite two-faced. Polite and refined when in his role as senator for Obulette, Sev appears to be relatively kind, but steadfast in his resolve. But in his role as a Sith, he becomes more rigid and does his best to detach himself. He recites the teachings of the Sith in his mind, stating them almost as a matter of fact, although if one were able to read his thoughts, they would see the doubt he held behind those words. The combination of having been raised as a Tapani noble and member of the Sith has shaped Sev into someone whose emotions are almost always in conflict between the light and dark sides of the force, concealed by the public persona he adopts as a member of the Senate. This conflict has produced instances where he performed acts that weren't necessarily in line with the Sith code, such as helping the weak or those in need. Yet there have also been instances where he has performed acts in line with the dark side, as if to prove to his family that he was worthy of taking on the mantle of his forefathers. It is this constant internal conflict of emotions that serves as Sev's greatest downfall.

Strengths and Weaknesses: Although Sev is an exceptional lightsaber wielder and is particularly dangerous due to his force bond ability, this serves as a double edged sword, in some cases leaving room for hesitation in his actions since he can sense the raw emotion coming from the fighting style of the person he fights against.

But more than anything, Sev is afraid.

Afraid that he will never live up to the reputation of his bloodline.

Afraid to see innocents hurt or killed.

Afraid of dying, for the Sith grant death upon those who are deemed weak, and the Jedi intend to destroy the Sith Order in it's entirety.

Afraid of the very emotions of sorrow and empathy he feels in the face of horrific acts he may have had a part in, for he feels it weakens his connection to the dark side.

Afraid for the safety of the Tapani people, particularly those he has sworn to represent in the Senate.

How might this weakness play out against him in combat? Here are a few examples.

Someone who channels anger into their strikes might cause Sev to become somewhat afraid to press the offensive, out of fear for the risk of exposing himself to injury.

Someone who expresses sorrow in their fighting style might cause Sev to avoid a decisive blow, because he might feel empathy towards them.

Someone who is afraid while fighting Sev might also cause him to hesitate, as he would be averse to striking down a fearful target unless it was purely out of self defense.

Skills

Force Bond - Sev has an unintentional and uncanny ability to form a force bond with those he fights. This is the primary reason that he has not completely fallen into the trappings of the dark side, but it also means that he is more easily influenced, for he literally begins to sense the raw emotion of the individual he fights, which could leave room for hesitation. The bond becomes stronger with each subsequent fight with that individual, and is especially potent around force sensitives. However, this is a two way street. Those he fights are more easily able to sense Sev's raw emotion, especially if that person is force sensitive. An especially powerful force user (A Jedi Master or Sith Lord, for instance) might be able to even sense hesitation within Sev's moves as he fights.

Lightsaber Savant - Sev's lightsaber style transitions quickly between that of Juyo and Soresu in a manner that is reflective of his own internal conflict. Juyo representing his attunement to the dark side and Soresu reflecting his tendency to be drawn towards the light. When applied in the correct ratio, the constant transition between the unrelenting offense of Juyo and the unwavering defense of Soresu makes Sev an especially dangerous opponent in lightsaber combat.

Strength: Sev is of average strength for a trained Sith assassin.

Dexterity: As a Sith assassin, Sev's greatest physical attribute is his ability to move swiftly and accurately. He is easily capable of parkour, with or without the assistance of the force, and is insanely fast in lightsaber dueling.

Constitution: Being young and in good shape, Sev's constitution is in line with an athletic human male of his age.

Intelligence: Well educated and a member of Tapani nobility, Sev has held enough wit to survive the political scheming of others in his life thus far, although he isn't necessarily a genius.

Wisdom: Brash at times due to his inexperience in life, Sev has a tendency to let emotion guide his actions.

Charisma: He comes across to many as a strikingly handsome young man with proper etiquette, although he isn't used to speaking with those outside the upper class. As a result, situations can be sometimes awkward for him around common folk.

Force Powers (Novice->Adept->Proficient->Journeyman->Expert->Master)
Force Jump - Proficient
Force Speed - Journeyman
Force Lightning - Novice
Force Cloak - Adept
Force Stealth - Proficient
Force Telekinesis - Adept

Lightsaber Forms
Primary: Form VII: Juyo
Secondary: Form III: Soresu
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EQUIPMENT​

[fancybox4="http://i474.photobucket.com/albums/rr102/KurotsukiBlade/SeverinPlate_zpsaruujeh2.png"]
Sev's Lightsaber - Sev's lightsaber is extremely refined and made of expensive materials.
Constructed from a songsteel frame, the weapon houses two rare Lignan crystals utilized in a bifurcating cyclical-ignition pulse system. This modification allows the lightsaber to continue to operate even when submerged, making the weapon fully waterproof. The outer shell is composed of duraplast and adorned with an aurodium lining. The lining alone costing a fortune of credits, this lightsaber serves as a testament to the power and wealth of House Mecetti. The blade is a dark red hue, creating a hissing noise typical of lightsabers of the Sith when activated.

Nyssan Sith Assassin Garb - A black, hooded robe designed for maximum mobility and comfort while still remaining silent, Sev's Sith Assassin garb is light, form fitting, and breathable. A personal energy shield generator is housed within a thin songsteel plate posited at the garb's waistline, serving as the only real protection the garment provides against blaster fire. Designed to dissipate energy bolts across a wider area rather than flat out defeating them, the personal energy shield's purpose is to render lethal shots into ones that instead only injure the wearer. As a result of the garb's focus on lightweight, stealthy design, the shield generator is small and only capable of dissipating one or two blaster bolts before failing in it's entirety.

Translator - The Senate, being composed of countless representatives from the diverse locales of the Republic, is also host to countless languages. To best understand his peers, as fluency in all languages is impossible, Sev carries with him a translator that automatically translates words in real time for him. The translator covers all the most common Galactic languages, and is constantly updated with refinements and new vocabulary with each software update.

[/fancybox4]

ᴘʀᴏғɪʟᴇ ᴄᴏᴅᴇ ʙʏ: ʙᴇᴇ
​

Looks pretty good, my only questions is that you have him as a senator? Is this an internal politics of his homeworld? Also I don't think the languages Hapan or Sith are Cannon anymore but I really think that's down to the think tank. As he doesn't have a bio up yet I assume he has been trained since a young age to reach those levels. Otherwise he seems pretty good and balanced.