Darth Furus

[Darth Furus]

NAME: Darth Furus
FACTION: Jedi
RANK:

Physical description:​

SPECIES: Human
Home World: Hoth
AGE: 42
GENDER: Male
HEIGHT: 6`3” or 1.9m
WEIGHT: 235 lbs or 106.59 kg
EYES: a Steel-Grey
HAIR: Dark Brown
SKIN: He is Caucasian
CREDITS: 1,000 credits
DISTINGUISHING MARKS: N/A
FORCE SENSITIVE: Yes.

stats​

STRENGTH: 75%
DEXTERITY: 80%
CONSTITUTION: 80%
INTELLIGENCE: 55%
WISDOM: 60%
CHARISMA: 70%

Personality, History, and skills​

PERSONALITY: Furus can be described as confident, cocky, and even angry below the surface. but even threw all of this is for the most part a gentleman and kind heated soul to those he is willing to call his friends.
It is with these traits that he has made it as far as he has in his life because he isn't afraid to love or to kill for what he loves and believes in.

BIOGRAPHY:



FORCE POWERS: Furus is able to have use both the light and dark sides of the force including but not limited to force push, telepathy, jump, and telakenisis.
SKIIt:
As a master tactician with a silver tongue, Furus is able to do almost anything if he puts his mind to it.

LIGHTSABER/SWORD FORMS: Knows lightsaber form II: Makashi
STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES:
Is a very persuasive and kind man in most situations. Is a skilled warrior in batle as well as in sport.
He has not fully rejected the darkside and their for be angered fairly easily.

Gear, and other​

GEAR:
Furus still uses his custom Dooku esque lightsaber in his main hand and an electrum one in his off hand, both of these are red Sith sabers.
Clothes:
Dressing in all black with a red cloak he seems menacing to most people who don't know him

Allies​

 

[Outlander]

You're not allowed to begin with advanced force powers such as lightning. You might want to expand the personality section as well.

 

[Darth Furus]

You're not allowed to begin with advanced force powers such as lightning. You might want to expand the personality section as well.

Ok will do

 

[Outlander]

What's force will?

 

[Darth Furus]

What's force will?

It's what I call the Jedi mind trick.

 

[Outlander]

You may not be able to have that either at the starting level.

 

[Gamov]

Here is a list of Force powers that would be available to your character, and at what level. As an Acolyte, he wouldn't be able to have much [if any] skill with Force Persuasion [aka Mind Trick].

That said, new members are generally encouraged to start at the lowest level within a faction - or Acolyte/Padawan for the Sith and Jedi, respectively - and work up from there. Aiming for a Sith Lord or Jedi Master is a bit too high and I've never seen a new member granted the privilege of playing such a character from the outset. The highest level you might be able to apply for his Crusader/Knight, but you'd need to beef your profile up a good deal in order to demonstrate your capability to reasonably write a character like that.

I don't mean to sound off-putting or elitist or mean, but that's generally how things work when it comes to applying for any of the major factions. Starting out on the bottom rung is pretty much par for the course.

 

[Chairdor]

you call him Darth Furus and you are neither Ewok nor Wookie. What is this?!

 

[Darth Furus]

you call him Darth Furus and you are neither Ewok nor Wookie. What is this?!

Like sidius which is a play on insidious, Furus is a play on Furious

 

[Nor'baal]

Also as per our PM's you may want to expand on the relationship your character has with the Supreme Mogul of the Hutt Cartel, namely that they did business once when he was a great deal younger - and by did business I mean the mogul sold him something or linked him up with someone.

 

[Outlander]

@Darth Furus

So, I've gone over this fairly thoroughly and I have a good bit of critique I feel will need to be implemented to make this acceptable in the role-play.

1. His personality and history are both very lacking, and need fairly major expansions.
2. He can't have been a Sith Lord before he left the order, since this would both not make sense considering the rules concerning how powerful you can be, as well as conflicting with rules concerning what rank you can start at.
3. Able to do most anything if he puts his mind to is seems very powerful and incredibly generic. This needs to be fixed.
4. I'd recommend not telling the people reading how they should feel about him, as you've done with his attire.
5. You basically don't describe his whole reason or motivation for his "Bringing balance to the force" at all.
6. His only weakness is that he sometimes gets angry, which compared to his strengths seems like a very poor weakness.
7. Even if he did business with the Supreme Mogul, I highly doubt you two would be close enough to consider yourself allies, especially with how the Hutts and the Sith currently are.
8. How is being able to use the dark and light sides reflected in his actual force powers?
9. Are there any actual civilizations in Hoth? I thought it was established as being very lifeless.

 

[Darth Furus]

@Darth Furus

So, I've gone over this fairly thoroughly and I have a good bit of critique I feel will need to be implemented to make this acceptable in the role-play.

1. His personality and history are both very lacking, and need fairly major expansions.
2. He can't have been a Sith Lord before he left the order, since this would both not make sense considering the rules concerning how powerful you can be, as well as conflicting with rules concerning what rank you can start at.
3. Able to do most anything if he puts his mind to is seems very powerful and incredibly generic. This needs to be fixed.
4. I'd recommend not telling the people reading how they should feel about him, as you've done with his attire.
5. You basically don't describe his whole reason or motivation for his "Bringing balance to the force" at all.
6. His only weakness is that he sometimes gets angry, which compared to his strengths seems like a very poor weakness.
7. Even if he did business with the Supreme Mogul, I highly doubt you two would be close enough to consider yourself allies, especially with how the Hutts and the Sith currently are.
8. How is being able to use the dark and light sides reflected in his actual force powers?
9. Are there any actual civilizations in Hoth? I thought it was established as being very lifeless.

I am working on it. Just hold on.

 

[Black Noise]

I don't know about you but I thought it was a great read.

 

[Marf]

Don't be nasty, BN.

@Darth Furus I'm afraid this profile is not up to par and requires alot more thought and detail. Members usually spend days, or even weeks writing a character profile, it isn't something you can just jot down in a few hours. Take a look at my characters Darth Sato and Andromeda for some ideas on how to expand your characters' personality and backstory.

You are also not allowed to start off as a Sith Lord or at the level of a Sith Lord, as has been already said in this thread.

 

[Nor'baal]

Just one more thing, you seem to have added in that this character bad "many hundreds" of dealings with the leader of the Hutt Cartel.

I actually said it would be fine if they had done business "once or twice", so if that could be edited that would be great :)

Other than that, could advise from @Marf and @Outlander and I look forward to seeing the changes, and likewise the character, take form.

 

[Black Noise]

@Marf I was being sincere, I enjoyed reading this profile. It was short, not difficult, not at all a slog as many profiles here are. Despite its inherent flaws, I enjoyed reading it.