Ask Choices We Make

[Darth Arcanos]

His coronation was every bit as theatrical as one would expect of him with thousands in attendance, all the pomp and ceremony and pampering. He had a full court of attendants tending to him at all times. After the ceremony, he took a long bath with servants giving him a manicure and pedicure while he soaked in a tub filled with petals.

Through it all, Arcanos noticed Trodai’s absence. He had been in the city when the incident between him and Karys occurred on the walls and entirely unaware of the situation. After his mani pedi and spa day, Arcanos found himself draped on a royal seat, adorned in loose clothing. He had a goblet loosely held between his fingers, having called Karys to come meet with him. He hadn’t had many chances to be alone with his husband since his ascension.

“Narat would be a smart match,” One of his advisors said as Arcanos coolly assessed his neatly trimmed and clear polished nails, “The youngest daughter is a beauty. I think you will find her suitable.”

“Mm,” Arcanos responded absentmindedly while taking a sip. He knew Narat was a smart match, especially in this city. With Sadow out of the way, there was a vacuum of power and a native name would be critical to hold Murzana.

For now, however, he awaited Karys while lounging with the demeanor of a well fed cat, one of his legs curled up and his posture one of relaxed decadence. He was every bit the King he was born to be.


@Apollyon

 

[Karys]

Karys had come from Ur to answer his husband’s summons. Since Trodai had been displaced as its regent, there had been a power vacuum. One that had yet to be filled. One that Karys had very little interest in filling.

In fact, Karys had made himself busy since the end of the battle. He oversaw the rebuilding of the walls and ensured the garrison of men were properly stocked and housed. He’d taken responsibility as their commander during the battle, that didn’t end now.

Karys didn’t hesitate in responding to his husband’s summons. He still for the dented and damaged armor that he had during the battle. He’d been bathed but refused to alter his regalia until his duties were accomplished. This was the legendary stubbornness of Karys’ithar iv-Kressh.

Karys’ lips upturned into a smile at the sight of Azar.

Even the coldest chill of Ziost melted before the love Karys felt for his husband. What chance did a mere frosty expression stand? Karys strode up to where his husband awaited him, he dropped to a knee. This was customary of a commander and his liege. There were some traditions that even Karys wouldn’t violate.

“I have missed you.” Karys whispered as his soft golden eyes lifted to gaze upon his truest love.

@Sreeya

 

[Darth Arcanos]

Azar nodded to his husband and gave a lazy wave of his hand for him to rise from his knelt position. He didn’t bother shifting how he sat, his body lazily draped across the seat. He took a sip from his goblet, initially not returning the smile Karys offered. However, he couldn’t deny some things, “I have missed you as well, Loth-kitten,” Azar said, using that term of endearment that started it all that day on Zygerria. It didn’t matter that Karys was now several hundred pounds heavier and perhaps a foot taller since that day. It didn’t matter that he was a walking titan, an icy behemoth that struck terror into any around him. He was still Loth-kitten to Azar.

“What happened to Trodai?” Azar asked calmly, no anger lacing his tone. He didn’t share any knowledge he had or if he had any at all. He would let Karys tell his side of things. While the familiar affection remained in his eyes, it was clear that Azar wasn’t entirely thrilled about this topic.

@Apollyon

 

[Karys]

Loth-kitten. Even as a Sith Master it was a term that gave Karys chills when he heard it. It was the term of endearment that had followed him since Zygerria. It was something he’d adopted into his identity. There was no shame in the thrill it brought when uttered by Azar alone.

Karys looked down upon his husband when that sense of familiarity was broken. Trodai. The foolish would be war leader. The man Karys had used as an example for cowardice. The man that somehow survived the state Karys had left him in. The man Karys would deal with personally.

“Trodai failed us three times my love.” Karys began. “First with his reckless charge towards the leviathan which mortally wounded it and trampled some of our own men.” Karys stated. “Next, when he attempted to bring down the tower that I was assaulting, nearly killing me.” He explained. “Finally, when he abandoned his men instead of attempting to protect or warn them during the push to secure the wall.” Karys continued. “For that I drained his vitality to the point of a husk. He became the example of what happens to cowards.”

Karys’ golden eyes searched Azar’s own. Would Azar have done differently? Maybe. Were there consequences for what he’d done? Absolutely. But was it the correct decision at the time? Without doubt.

@Sreeya

 

[Darth Arcanos]

Azar’s expression didn’t change. He stared calmly at his husband, swishing around the wine in his goblet for a moment. After a few seconds, he finally took a sip and sat up straighter, “And you have never had failures of your own?” Azar asked, “You have no record of a trail of stupidity and foolishness which serves as the foundation of the man you are today? You haven’t stumbled and failed your way into success? The difference was that you had the chance to correct your own failures on your own time. If I had done that for you, I would have mounted your beautiful head on a pike years ago, dear,” Azar’s eyes narrowed, “Have you allowed that luxury to fix his own mistakes for Trodai? Or were you quick to decree yourself the almighty judge, jury and executioner simply because he is a lover? Same with what you decided for Trael?”

He threw back his drink and slammed the goblet down, the first cracks appearing in his resolve. Azar was not happy, and he wasn’t going to tolerate Karys cowing his way across those that Azar fancied, “Putting aside your petty issues with my lovers, had you considered the implications of doing what you did to Trodai? That you have now left behind a power vacuum in the city of Ur? It is an ancient and holy city that I took great effort to secure. In one fell swoop to satisfy your own childish whims, you have disbalanced my power base.”

Azar’s jaw tightened. He paused for a moment before he spoke again, “You will not serve as Ur’s regent,” He stated flatly, “But you will find a solution to clean up this fucking mess you’ve made.”

@Apollyon

 

[Karys]

Karys waited for Azar to finish, the only sign of his brewing rage was a small tick at the corner of his lip. An involuntary twitch that Karys couldn’t hide. There would be no cowering, no flinching in the face of Azar’s anger or wrath.

<Yes. I do have a list of my own failures.> Karys replied calmly. <My lack of reliance on the Dark Side as an acolyte. My foolish need for approval from peers. Param. The Nevizkas and her bastard child.> He stated with same even tone. <But my failures didn’t put your life in danger.> He continued, some of that cold rage finally bleeding through. <My actions had nothing to do with him being your lover. Neither did Trael. You can sense precisely what my emotions are through our Bond. You know this to be true.> Karys was blunt but honest. <Do you believe a man who would abandon his men to save himself wouldn’t do the same to a city?> Karys asked rhetorically. <Cowards do not discriminate on when they will abandon those who rely on them. Ur would have experienced this in a worse time of need.> Or worse, his rot wouldn’t have been exposed and left to fester.

Karys took a deep breath. When he exhaled that cold rage had seemingly faded but Azar would know otherwise. It still simmered. It still existed just beneath his icy exterior. An anger born from insult to character rather than perceived fact being called out.

<I have never cared if you took another Azar. I will never care if you do.> Karys stated calmly. <Jealousy left me the moment we were wed.> This was also true. <But I will not tolerate those that put you or your dreams in direct jeopardy. I will face your wrath if that means protecting our family. Trodai as he was and Trael as well were threats. If they change so be it but I will not apologize for protecting your heart.>

Karys was more even keeled now. Arguments with Azar tended to get loud but hadn’t ended in injury since Malachor. But this was different, Karys could sense it.

<If that is your will my dearest, I will see it done.> Karys stated at the demand to clean up his mess and find a new regent to serve.

@Sreeya

 

[Darth Arcanos]

“I didn’t ask for your list,” Azar interjected coolly when Karys started listing off his own, “I was there for every single one of them if you recall,” He finished curtly, letting his husband proceed to his next points. He had little patience to listen to topics he already knew. Azar crossed one leg over the other, resting his chin on his palm as Karys said what he pleased.

“If anything, that proves Trodai is better suited to be royalty than a general,” He stated dryly, “Do not judge all rulers by my style alone. The most effective rulers have been the ones that knew how to keep their heads secure on their shoulders. Honor and glory is for front line soldiers, not Kings,” Azar knew he was cut from a different cloth because he was right in the front of the battles, but that was not how rulers operated in their history or even throughout the galaxy, “Tell me, do you think the King of Thustra or Queen of Naboo or the various Senators in the Galactic Senate would be faulted for not charging into battle and being the last one standing with their people? No, they would be called foolish for even being in that position.”

Karys had a lot to learn when it came to ruling and Azar knew it was something he had no interest in pursuing. Good Generals didn’t necessarily make good Kings or the other way around and it was foolish to equate them, “If my heart is torn, I am perfectly capable of mending it or killing those responsible myself. Do not presume me so weak,” He hissed the last word, venom dripping from his tone as rage bubbled beneath the surface.

“You are my husband, Karys, but you are not my owner,” Azar said, a deadly calm in his tone then, “Do not forget your place.”

@Apollyon

 

[Karys]

Karys contained a scoff when Azar claimed Trodai made better royalty than a general. <None of those royals make claims of being a Grand General nor do they stylize themselves as a Warlord. Trodai was capable of neither being a general nor leading a House, much less a city. You know this as well as I.> Karys stated bluntly. <But Force preserved him for whatever reason. Perhaps he’ll change and grow. Or perhaps he’ll die a worthless death. I don’t care either way.>

When Azar mentioned that Karys had assumed weakness within him was when Karys had a more visible and visceral reaction. His eyes narrowed slightly, his jaw clenched for a moment.

<Never once have I thought you weak, Azar. Never once, did I think you incapable. Never once, did I presume to own you.> Karys spat back. <But when you grieve, so do I. When your heart breaks, so does mine. When you thirst for vengeance against a slighted love, so.do.I.> Karys hissed. <That is the depth of my love for you, so I will protect your heart as if it were my own. Because it is and that love drives me to protect you above all else.> Azar had told him something similar so long ago on Nar Shadda when he set Param ablaze.

The memory was cut short at Azar’s final words. Remember his place?

<Neither am I an Akk Hound Azar that will laze quietly at your feet. I am not a pet that you keep on a leash by your side. I am Karys’ithar iv-Kressh, kinslayer and traitor to House Sadow. I am Sith Master, an unbreakable warrior, and husband to the most powerful of Sith..> Karys replied, the last line was spoke with a measure of pride rather than a list of mere accomplishments. That was what Karys put the most value and pride in, his love. <You knew me before you wed me. Do not act so surprised that I would act to preserve you without permission. That is my nature. That is part of why you love me.> His response was passionate with a lover’s ire. <Just as with the Nevizkas, I will not tolerate threats to us. No matter the source, I will pluck them before they can take root and bloom.> After a pause to collect himself, Karys spoke again. <I have chosen you time and time again. And I would do it a thousand times over. I’d pay the price for loving you countless times, even when my body is broken.> Karys’ lip curled as he spoke. <I’d burn the Galaxy just to keep you warm by its fire.> Karys had given the same promise years ago on New Alderaan. <So do what you must Azar. I stand ready.>

Those final words revealed much. Karys expected his husband’s ire. He expected punishment for his actions. But he’d chosen them anyways. Karys was resolute in his decision and believed it to have been the correct one, even now.

@Sreeya

 

[Darth Arcanos]

“No, I don’t know that nor do I believe it,” Azar cut in before Karys could finish ranting about Trodai, “Because I was there on Ur to observe him take his place as its leader,” He said as he finally rose from his seat and took slow steps to descend down towards Karys, “I was there when he took control of the city, when he rallied his men while I didn’t have a name to me. I was the one that pushed him to ascend and I have full confidence in his ability to hold and govern the city even if he makes a shit General,” Azar glared at his husband, “I know because I was there while you were busy with your melodramatic nonsense with Nevizkas and that wretch you squirted into her belly, neither of which you had a spine enough to kill. Do not speak to me about incompetence, Karys.”

He may have been small in stature, but he commanded a presence that could dwarf anyone around him. Even a behemoth like Karys. It was clear he was done discussing the topic about Trodai’s list of faults and he wouldn’t entertain it further.

“I am King and you will honor the title I’ve assumed,” Azar stated curtly, “That means you don’t make moves that disrupt my powerbase. Ever,” He warned, “This goes beyond feelings, love, heart. This is duty and responsibility, which if you ever grew up you would begin to understand,” While Azar embraced passion, tactics and cool, calculating strategy was always at the forefront for him. He didn’t have his heart on his sleeve and he never made a move if it could ever shake his powerbase in any way. Even when it appeared he was thinking with his heart, “You will find Trodai and either convince him to announce to Ur a transfer of power to another Adas or you will find a way for him to resume his duties. However, either of those need to come from him and without further violence or threats from you,” Karys had challenged Azar to offer whatever was to come and Azar had. It was now on Karys to see it through.

@Apollyon

 

[Karys]

Karys’ curled lip revealed predatory teeth. Rage pumped through his veins, warming the frozen demeanor he usually wore. And then the reason behind this summons. The context behind Azar’s rage. The thorn in Karys’ side. An eternal stain on his reputation. The bastard child.

<Would you prefer I rip that wriggling whelping out with my bare hands while its worthless mother still lives?> Karys asked. <Or should I cut her throat first?> A tremble in his voice revealed the fury he felt at Azar throwing their indiscretion in his face. <Would you prefer its body on a platter or just the head?> He spat back. <Will its death bring you the peace you need to rest easily at night? Or will you hold its murder over my head as you do with the countless others I’ve committed?> Karys eyes narrowed. <You despise the Sith I’ve become but use me as a cudgel all the same.> The words were hash but spoke to the wound that festered just beneath the surface.

How many times had Azar told him he missed who he was? How many times had Karys seen that sadness in his eyes whenever they were alone? Azar had been the one who pushed him to clip all liabilities from his life but then hated what came as a result. It left Karys hurting in ways he never said until the heat of anger filled him.

<Don’t worry, my king. I’ll find your precious Adas whelp and return him to your side.> He hissed. <Do you need anything else? Or am I dismissed to conduct my duties?> The words were laced with a pain that only Azar would be privileged enough to see. The tears that formed in the corners of his eyes though, those Karys wouldn’t allow to break free. Not here, not now.

@Sreeya

 

[Darth Arcanos]

“If you will hold the mistakes of others over their heads, prepared to have the same done to you,” He responded dryly to the dramatic tirade Karys posed with all the scenarios involving Nevizkas and the child. At the end of the day, this all bubbled to the surface because of Karys’ unwillingness to let others fix and address their own mistakes. Azar was the correct one to judge Trodai, not Karys. With proper courses of action, likely Trodai would have met harsh punishments for his ineptitude, but it would have been measured and with proper contingencies in place. Now there was a wild power vacuum.

“If you consider the honorary role of a war general as nothing more than being a cudgel, then perhaps cease to be one and take on a role you prefer,” He said curtly. Karys had offered his efforts in Azar’s campaign. If that had been all for show, Azar had no desire to keep the status quo, “I do not want your support in my campaign if your heart's not in it.”

He remained silent for a moment after Karys finished speaking, asking whether to be dismissed. Azar exhaled slowly before nodding, “Dismissed,” He stated flatly. However after he took a few steps Azar snapped his fingers to dismiss all the grotthu from the chambers.

“Karys,” He called out softly, his tone now lacking the stern iciness it held moments prior. If Karys turned, he’d realize Azar had taken off his crown and set it aside for now. Azar gave a vague shrug, “Just Azar now..” He muttered. He had to take on two entirely separate personas now without mixing the two and Karys would have to understand to deal with both. Just Azar couldn’t stand seeing Karys like this even if King Arcanos would icily dismiss him. However, if Karys still chose to walk away, Azar wouldn't stop him and instead wallow in the reality of the multiple roles he had to play with the burden of a crown.

@Apollyon

 

[Karys]

Karys breath escaped in a hiss of rage. He’d ensured Vossari and Azar wouldn’t have to deal with the oncoming army. He enable their flank. That was his strategy. Those were his plans. To be dishonored now because of a foolish little pup? It was nearly unbearable.

So too was the weight of a broken heart.

When he was finally dismissed Karys turned to stride from the room. But a soft, familiar voice called out to him. He heard the sound of soft metal being clinked onto a marble side table. His pace stopped, his back tensed, his shoulders dropped. He knew that voice, it wasn’t Arcanos. That was Azar.

Karys turned his gaze to his husband, it was still hard as he scrutinized him from a distance. The pain in his eyes and face was obvious. The implications thrown at him, him Azar’s earliest supporter. His first champion. That was a wound that was rent deeply.

He fully faced Azar and then held still, he didn’t approach. His expression returning to the neutral expression, a mask to hide his pain. He took slow steps towards his husband until they were an arms length away.

“You cannot live as two separate men.” Karys told him simply. “Eventually one will overtake the other.” He continued. “And it will always be the colder of the two.” His words were even and measured. “Arcanos cannot exist separately from Azar. Just as I couldn’t exist separately from the man I was.” Karys explained, his voice softening. “I have always supported you. I have always been by your side…” Karys’ trailed off. “…even now.”

Karys leaned down to kiss his husband. To press his lips to Azar’s. To flood him with all the emotions that stirred just beneath the surface. But most importantly, to let him know that he hadn’t abandoned him. Despite his pain, Karys could never abandon him.

@Sreeya

 

[Darth Arcanos]

“I must..” Azar said quietly, gazing up at his husband, “I must exist as Arcanos. Azar..is what keeps me sane. You are what keeps me grounded,” He said as he reached up to cup Karys’ face, “But my lovers also play a part in that. I need them,” They were polyamorous but seldom talked about their other relationships beyond simply informing one another if anyone else was in the picture. Azar was on his tiptoes to kiss Karys when he leaned in for it, finding a reprieve from all his burdens the moment their lips touched.

Even after they drew apart, his hands rested against Karys’ broad, muscled chest, “I know you are by my side, but out there in the battlefields I need those that truly wish to be there,” He said as he met Karys’ gaze, “I can’t have you holding resentment over it or suggesting that I only use you as a weapon. I don’t want that for you and I do not wish it for me,” Azar said with a sigh, resting his forehead against Karys’ chest.

“I serve as the sole Council member and Sith Lord in the newly formed Council, I serve as Umbara’s headmaster, I now serve as the King of multiple cities…soon to be several worlds,” Azar said, “I have to put on many identities. I have to shoulder the responsibilities of entire worlds,” He gazed up at Karys again, “I need you to be strong. I need to be able to lean on you and that means I need you to be unwavering and not let petty emotions govern you. Have more faith in me, love. Trust that I know how to protect myself.”

@Apollyon

 

[Karys]

Karys leaned his face into that affectionate touch. He swallowed hard. Karys knew Azar need them all but as much as he denied it, he’d become possessive. He envied the time Azar gave to others. He wanted that time and love for his own. It made him irrational at times.

Karys sighed when their kiss broke, wounds weren’t healed but the corruptive malign influence from them had faded. Karys slowly sank to his knee and looked into Azar’s eyes.

“I’m sorry that I never dealt with Cyutadakyr and I’m sorry that my reckless actions hurt you like they did.” He whispered. “You are the one that I live for, you are the one I will fight for, and you will be the one that I die for some day.” He muttered. “You possess my whole heart Azar, you have since that day on Umbara when I held you in the rain.” He admitted. “I will be whatever you need from me. Because I love you more than I care for my own ambitions, pride, or ego.” That was dangerous to admit.

Karys rested his forehead against Azar’s as he spoke. It was tender and from his heart. The icy visage of the Sith Master he’d become melted away. Not even the cold grip of rage and pain could pull Karys away from the man he’d dedicated his life to. Nothing could pull him from Azar.

“I will do better.” He promised eventually. “I will become what you need. Be it a general, a liege, an advisor, or a common soldier.” He kissed Azar’s forehead as he spoke. “I will be the man you can lean upon and trust.”

Karys’ hand reached into his pocket and pulled out the wooden box he’d shown Azar weeks ago. The golden Everice ring still sat on the cushion, its chill palpable to the touch. Karys’ eyes gazed into Azar’s.

“I didn’t forget, I just never found the right moment…” Karys whispered. “…would you do me the honor and marry me, Azar’ithar iv-Kressh?” He’d use no titles or formalities. It was just them, alone in a room.

@Sreeya

 

[Darth Arcanos]

Azar never felt more cozily at home than when he was with Karys. He took off his crowns, his titles, and every layer of the titan he had to become to serve his countless roles. He could strip himself of it all and just be Azar with Karys. The Pureblood watched with mild confusion as Karys slowly knelt down to one knee, gasping a moment later when he studied the pose. It was the same pose men took on those cheesy Holomovies Azar loved to watch!

His face betrayed his emotions as Karys spoke and he gazed down at the love of his life. His eyes began to brim with tears the more Karys spoke. He felt seen, not as the King or Sith Lord, but the same man that lazed around in that nook on Umbara. The same man that cried on the balcony. The same man that curled up in Karys’ arms years ago before Tempest ever knew his value.

By the time Karys proposed, Azar burst into tears, wildly flailing his hands in front of his face to calm himself, “Oh my god yes!” He practically squealed, his voice a few octaves higher than normal. He threw his arms around Karys, peppering his face with kisses, “I love you,” He said in between his sniffling before remembering that Karys needed to put the ring on.

Azar drew back, wiping his face where the kohl he wore around his eyes started to run, “Dammit I’m ugly crying,” He huffed, completely losing it and reduced to a blubbering mess. No one else in the galaxy could see him like this. Azar let Karys slip the ring on the finger, admiring it fondly, “I love it so much, babe,” He said before floating over a royal handkerchief to wipe his nose and face.

“I’m canceling all my appointments for the day,” Azar declared as he pulled Karys into an embrace, “Let’s take the day, baby. Just the two of us,” He said with a smile before getting on his tiptoes to kiss his husband again.

@Apollyon

 

[Karys]

Karys watched as Azar’s eyes widened with realization long before he even pulled the ring out. It caused a smile to touch his lips. Karys was quickly realizing that these moments with Azar are the ones he lived for. He the question finally left Karys’ lips Azar broke down in tears.

Karys’ smile deepened, his golden gaze softly looking to the only being in the galaxy that mattered to him. The rest of it could burn away and as long as Karys has Azar, he’d have all he needed. As Azar kissed his face Karys thought back to that moment on New Alderaan. When they had discussed their dreams with each other. They’d accomplished Azar’s dreams. He was king now.

And Karys was so proud of that accomplishment.

<I love you too baby.> He replied between giggles as Azar continued to kiss him. <I love you too.>

When Azar finally let Karys slide the ring onto his finger, Karys felt the weight of the Galaxy fall off of him. Azar said yes. The union they shared felt somehow more real now than it did just moments before. It felt, duracrete. When Azar began to wipe at the kohl and claimed he was ugly crying, Karys helped him. Gently wiping the trails away with his thumbs.

<You could never be ugly.> He whispered. <You are the most beautiful and handsome being I have ever seen.> He told Azar softly. <And I have loved you since our first night together.> He confessed. <And that love has never changed over these years.> He continued. <It never will. My heart will always beat for you.>

Karys felt hot tears of his own well up when Azar declared they’d spend the day together. How long has it been since they’d done that? Before the campaign, surely. Karys nodded as emotions threatened to overwhelm him. His lips pressed to Azar’s as he stood up.

<By all our gods, I’ve missed you Azar.>He whispered into his husband’s mouth as he melted into their embrace.

@Sreeya

 

[Darth Arcanos]

Azar’s sobbing grew even worse when Karys complimented him. Compliments on his appearance always made him melt, but it hit different when it came from his husband. Because it meant that Karys still found him beautiful despite years of being together and through many ups and downs. Without a word, Azar grabbed Karys by the hand and walked him towards one of his many private chambers.

The room was vast with tall columns that could make even Karys feel small. Azar looked around it all, wiping his face of the kohl and tears. For a moment he turned to gaze at the room, grabbing Karys’ arms to wrap them around himself as he leaned his back against his husband’s chest, “Sometimes I miss that Umbara nook,” Azar said quietly as he stared out the floor to ceiling windows, “Where I could hardly get to my alchemy table without bumping into you while you made food,” He said with a chuckle.

“I’m still that man, baby..” He said quietly, barely above a whisper, “I’m still your Azar, Loth-kitten.”

@Apollyon

 

[Karys]

Karys steadily wiped at his husband’s cheeks with his thumbs. Brushing away the tear trails as new ones formed. Tears that matched Azar’s own formed in Karys’ eyes, a smile that was warm spread on his lips. This was the man he’d fallen in love with, this was his forever.

When Azar slid his hand into Karys’ gargantuan own, he’d feel the tender grip Karys used. He would follow Azar into the massive private chamber. It was the first time in half a decade that Karys didn’t have to duck to enter a room nor did he dip his head to stand within it. Instead, he was able to stretch to his fully height without any discomfort at all. It was an unfamiliar but welcomed sensation.

When Azar wrapped himself up in Karys’ arms and leaned against him, Karys would lightly tighten the grip. It was just enough to let Azar know he was present in the moment. His gaze didn’t look at the windows or to the grandeur of the room. Instead, it focused solely on his husband. Karys watched as he stared out the windows. He listened to Azar as he spoke. A faint chuckle rippled in his chest as Azar spoke of their nook. He missed it too.

“I think of those days often.” Karys whispered. “To think that I met the love of my life, my husband as a tired, dirty, busted up Acolyte on a hill overlooking my personal hellscape.” He chuckled at the memory of how they’d met. “And how I pined for you.” He smirked at the memory. “I am withering Azar.” He gently said in a high pitch tone, mocking his younger self. “But I also loved you, and it’s a love that has only grown and deepened over the years.” He told Azar. “I miss the simpler days. When it was just us, the nook, and an adventure to some distant world.” He said dreamily. “I love what we’ve built but I miss where we came from too.”

Karys sighed as he thought back on all those years they’d spent together. The adventures, their tenderest moments, their fights, the way they made up. All of it flowed so easily to the surface of his mind. This was love, Karys knew that.

@Sreeya

 

[Darth Arcanos]

As Karys described that day, Azar’s mind drifted back to those moments. Silly things like Karys’ wide eyed wonder at Azar using the Force on a vending machine and pouting because Azar didn’t validate him after his droideka trick popped into his mind, “I don’t think you knew you could desire a man back then,” He said with a grin. When Karys mocked his younger self, Azar was so caught off guard that he burst into uncontrollable giggling. He wasn’t expecting his husband to actually make fun of himself like that and Azar lost it completely. In fact, he giggled so much that a few snorts snuck in which only compounded the laughing till he had tears in his eyes for an entirely different reason.

“You were…so dramatic,” He wheezed breathlessly, wiping his eyes. It took a while for Azar to calm down, but he finally turned to face his husband, placing his hands on his chest.

“I wasn’t any better,” Azar said with a smile, “I wanted you all to myself. I used to get so worked up anytime you even looked at a woman,” He said with sheepish look on his face, “I was convinced I just wanted to be like those Holomovies where they end up with just one person,” Azar chuckled, “You were more than enough for me to handle. I was so childish….I didn’t want to be like my family or love anyone else. But I would have done anything to be with you,” Azar said as he smiled at Karys, “It took me some time to accept it and your desire to be with women.. but I’m happy now,” He said before he embraced his husband, burying his face against his chest.

@Apollyon

 

[Karys]

Azar’s laughter, it was the most beautiful sound to Karys. It filled his heart with hope and joy. It reminded him of when they were younger and Azar’s breeze-y laughter and giggles would issue as they cooked and cleaned together. The sound made Karys’ smile grow, that was the sound of home.

<I was very dramatic.> Karys replied with a chuckle. <I don’t know how you put up with me and my antics.> Karys confessed. <You have the patience of a god.>He teased.

Then Azar began about how he had felt. How he only wanted Karys. How he only wanted to be with him for the rest of his days. Without realizing it Karys’ smile slowly faded from his lips. He swallowed and bit back bitterness. How could he ever tell Azar? How could he let him know that his push for polyamory had been his greatest mistake? He couldn’t. It wouldn’t change anything now.

Karys pushed a small smile on his lips. And ran his fingers through Azar’s hair. He gazed into his husband’s eyes and knew Azar would see the pain reflected in his. There would be no avoiding the discussion to come and Karys didn’t know if he was ready to have it.

<I was so young and so foolish back then.> He whispered. <There has never been another that shared my bed since you Azar…> He admitted. <…and I don’t think there ever will be.>

The words were soft and barely spoken above a whisper. Karys’ voice trembled with emotion at his confession. This was difficult for him. He would have rather fought another three armies at that gate than admit to this again. His heart had no room for anyone else in it. Karys was hopelessly in love with the man who buried his face in his chest right now.

Just as Azar only wanted him in the past, now as he’d grown older, Karys felt the same.

<My dream on New Alderaan…the house with just us.> He muttered. <It still hasn’t changed, it never did.>

@Sreeya