BREAKING NEWS: Rich White Girl Gets Rejected From Ivy League Schools and Complains

[jpchewy01]

I'm surprised this hasn't turned up here yet:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324000704578390340064578654.html?KEYWORDS=SUZY+LEE+WEISS

This unfortunately affluent white girl was kept out of university by those undeserving tenement-dwelling immigrant commuter ethnoids. What is society coming to?

I think the most interesting thing about Ms. Weiss (whose surname, quite ironically, is German for "white") is that she seems oblivious to the fact that perhaps not being white actually does help in getting into an Ivy League. To these institutions, she's just another one of the thousands of rich white kids who apply there every year, especially since she only had grades and test scores that were par for an applicant. Colleges admissions isn't solely in the business of accepting people who are smart. It's also about building a community that will extend the learning experience beyond the classroom. That means accepting people of diverse backgrounds in order to create a more accurate sample of the real world, something that the Ivy League doesn't do the best job of anyway. In other words, affirmative action is real and necessary.

She, oddly, seems to feel betrayed by a system that was not built with her interests in mind in the first place. She implies that she only realised that she should have been more diverse after she got all the rejections. It comes to her as this huge surprise that she's just like every other privileged white girl who didn't do enough to get into the college of her dreams. Her accusation of being lied to is intellectually dishonest and is only reflective of someone who is afflicted with the naivete of living their life with blinders on.

TL;DR:
White privilege, blah blah blah.

 

[GABA]

I guess she won't be getting that prestigious M.R.S. degree.

 

[Anonymau5]

I'm disgusted! I mean, how could someone who's so intelligent that they get rejected and go whine on the internet about how white people are being oppressed not get into the best colleges? What is the world coming to?

 

[BLADE]

Like me, millions of high-school seniors with sour grapes are asking themselves this week how they failed to get into the colleges of their dreams. It's simple: For years, they—we—were lied to.

MON DIEU!

Someone running into an oversold aspect of America's alleged meritocratic system? And then being surprised by it? Must be a Clueless Rich And White Person (CRAWP.)

Colleges tell you, "Just be yourself." That is great advice, as long as yourself has nine extracurriculars, six leadership positions, three varsity sports, killer SAT scores and two moms. Then by all means, be yourself! If you work at a local pizza shop and are the slowest person on the cross-country team, consider taking your business elsewhere.

This is absolutely true. I remember having to trawl a pottery barn for weeks before finding eligible lesbians to pose as my parents. In retrospect my Craigslist pose of "Determined Young Man Seeks 2 Gays For Hard Project" was a bit misleading.

What could I have done differently over the past years?

White girl wondering about how to make things right in the past whilst also being self-centered and navel-gazing? Ooh, ooh, I know this one, I know this one.

For starters, had I known two years ago what I know now, I would have gladly worn a headdress to school. Show me to any closet, and I would've happily come out of it.

WHOA. HOLD THE ****ING PHONE. Hitherto, I'd been quite happy to assume that Fraulein Weiss was simply a self-centered teenager, which, let's be honest, is not that uncommon. This has disabused me of that notion. She is certainly self-centered and young, but she is also a total racist and a homophobe.

Maybe that was why colleges rejected you? I don't claim that the Ivies are any great barometer of virtue (I mean they let me and Dick Cheney in), but did you send them your Aryan Brotherhood collages? Did you write about how the red man is taking away your classroom lebensraum?

Pro-tip: if everyone's an asshole to you, maybe you're the asshole?

"Diversity!" I offer about as much diversity as a saltine cracker. If it were up to me, I would've been any of the diversities: Navajo, Pacific Islander, anything. Sen. Elizabeth Warren, I salute you and your 1/32 Cherokee heritage.

Symptoms of white privilege may include cultural reductivism and a lack of a sense of humor/writing style.

As much diversity as a saltine cracker? Jesus ****ing Christ on a saltine cracker, who teaches these little shits how to write? Another pro-tip. If you're going to go with a similie, make sure that the concept is readily grasped. Saltine crackers don't speak to a lack of diversity. They speak to a lack of variety. Similar wording, but completely inapt. That kind of lack of subtlety is probably what killed your shitty entry essay ("GROWING UP IN NASSAU ON THE EQUESTRIAN CIRCUIT AS AN OVERPRIVILEGED DOUCHEBAG AND HOW IT IS LIKE HAMLET; LET ME IN.")

Here's a better one: "I offer as much diversity as your local regatta muster."

See, there you get in a dig at yourself and the privilege from which you clearly come from whilst not making any specifically stupid (or mean) jokes. It also sends the right code words to the overly privileged assholes (let's be honest here) who are the gatekeepers to your Major in Delusions of Grandeur.

I also probably should have started a fake charity. Providing veterinary services for homeless people's pets. Collecting donations for the underprivileged chimpanzees of the Congo. Raising awareness for Chapped-Lips-in-the-Winter Syndrome. Fun-runs, dance-a-thons, bake sales—as long as you're using someone else's misfortunes to try to propel yourself into the Ivy League, you're golden.

If I may suggest a fake charity title. I'd call it the Suzy Lee Asshole Foundation. You see, Suzy Lee, you have a chronic case of what we call, the assholes. It makes you say and do things like not start a charity out of any selfless motive and in fact be such a dried up piece of detritus on our great fleshy human floor that you can't even conceive that others might have legitimate and altruistic reasons for giving their time and efforts to the less fortunate. Our charity will spend all the money and time necessary to get you an empathy transplant. With your help, readers, we can defeat Asshole Syndrome.

Here's the sad thing, Miss Lee. If it hadn't been for the hilariously racist and privileged whinging before, I'd have agreed with at least some of the sentiment here. There is a for-profit charity and resume-padding scene on the college admissions circuit and it definitely etiolates a lot of what is noble and good about these ideals.

But no dice.

See, this essay is what I like to call as being strictly in the Glibilege tradition. It assumes that if you make your privilege glib or throw a bone or two to a legitimate concern that some dumb people will take your essay as not being all that serious or even as being good satire. And indeed, if you had focused on the resume padding and other stuff that privileged kids of all backgrunds do, you might have had a point. There's a real class barrier to attending and studying at Ivy League institutions (as a po' boy, I experienced at myself.)

But again. No dice. In fact, this whole essay tries to have it both ways by being oh-so-cute and timely with the Real Housewives reference at the end:

To those claiming that I am bitter—you bet I am! An underachieving selfish teenager making excuses for her own failures? That too! To those of you disgusted by this, shocked that I take for granted the wonderful gifts I have been afforded, I say shhhh—"The Real Housewives" is on.

See? Why bring race or sexuality into this? Why engage in cultural stereotyping (TIGER MOMS ASIANS ARE HUMORLESS SO FUNNY AMIRITE)?

But I can't find it in myself to be mad at dumb children for too long so I'll say this. Being dumb and selfish is actually a pretty basic condition among all of us, Ivy Leaguers included. For you people here that are just getting out of high school, credentialism is overrated and your education will consist of what you ultimately put into it.

If you must write a satirical essay on how Vassar totally sodomized you with its median ACT ranges, then please.

Consult E.B. White's guide to style first. Or at least rip off someone funnier.

Plagiarism. It's the Ivy Way!

 

[Blaxican]

Hmm. As someone who has absolutely taken advantage of White Guilt on numerous occasions, both wittingly and not, I suppose I can empathize with her frustration.

That said, some people really should not be glib. It... it's a fine line between coming off as witty and just sounding like an asshole. That article dipped generously into the latter category.

 

[Kreeps]

Hey look! Cultural Marxists!

Ooops, sorry, guess I need to check my whitmalecisprivelidge.

Oh, and what's the deal with white guilt? What the hell do I have to be guilty about?

 

[BLADE]

Hey look! Cultural Marxists!

ZOINKS! He's on to us!

*Hides Frankfurt School Bucks*

Aside from that, what other polysyllabic scare-words do you know? How about Gramscian Radicalism? Ooh, ooh, Postmodern Nihilism. What about Racialist Revanchism?

Come on, I really need a two-dollar word for people who think that racism is still kind of an issue (I know, I know, Black President thus racism solved, right?)

Ooops, sorry, guess I need to check my whitmalecisprivelidge.

Man that sucks. All that privilege and you make dumb arguments like this. Honestly, it's like you were born on third base and had Ricky Romero pitching and still struck out.

Oh, and what's the deal with white guilt? What the hell do I have to be guilty about?

It's interesting how conservatives/racist assholes use the term white guilt. See, anti-racism literature talks about white awareness. White people individually aren't guilty of anything. Collectively some people (some whites and some minorities) benefit and perpetuate a system that generates obvious inequities. What most anti-racists ask is that people are aware of how this system benefits them and ask if all aspects of this system are fair and/or need reform. You have, however, hit the clueless reactionary trifecta:

1. Any talk of inequality is clearly COMMUNISM.
2. Hilarious defensiveness
3. OOGA-BOOGA REPARATIONS.

 

[Kaeb]

Pros, you're the only person I know who can smacktalk someone, while still simultaneously sounding like a character from Blackadder had sex with the Architect from the Matrix Sequels and had a strange malformed baby whose first words were: ''Now is the winter of our discontent, Made glorious summer by this son of York; And all the clouds that low'r'd upon our house, In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.''

You crazy elitist bastard.

 

[BLADE]

And thus I clothe my naked villainy
With odd old ends stol'n out of holy writ;
And seem a saint, when most I play the devil

I also like to trash-talk people on the internet. True story.

 

[Kaeb]

And thus I clothe my naked villainy
With odd old ends stol'n out of holy writ;
And seem a saint, when most I play the devil

I also like to trash-talk people on the internet. True story.

Someone brought that quote up at a lecture once, and a particular student was certain that it originated from V for Vendetta. Despite the fact Richard was covered six weeks beforehand.

You sycophantic plutocrat.

 

[BLADE]

Modern-day adaptation of Richard III with the eponymous character helming Goldman Sachs?

*Starts writing movie treatment*

 

[Kaeb]

Modern-day adaptation of Richard III with the eponymous character helming Goldman Sachs?

*Starts writing movie treatment*

****, it can't be worse than the modern day Hamlet with Ethan Hawke and the Denmark Corporation.

*shudder*

 

[Kreeps]

ZOINKS! He's on to us!

*Hides Frankfurt School Bucks*

Aside from that, what other polysyllabic scare-words do you know? How about Gramscian Radicalism? Ooh, ooh, Postmodern Nihilism. What about Racialist Revanchism?

Come on, I really need a two-dollar word for people who think that racism is still kind of an issue (I know, I know, Black President thus racism solved, right?)


Man that sucks. All that privilege and you make dumb arguments like this. Honestly, it's like you were born on third base and had Ricky Romero pitching and still struck out.



It's interesting how conservatives/racist assholes use the term white guilt. See, anti-racism literature talks about white awareness. White people individually aren't guilty of anything. Collectively some people (some whites and some minorities) benefit and perpetuate a system that generates obvious inequities. What most anti-racists ask is that people are aware of how this system benefits them and ask if all aspects of this system are fair and/or need reform. You have, however, hit the clueless reactionary trifecta:

1. Any talk of inequality is clearly COMMUNISM.
2. Hilarious defensiveness
3. OOGA-BOOGA REPARATIONS.

On the White Guilt thing:
1. False. There are poor white people too! *GASP* Not to mention the fact that inequality is a given in a capitalist society. Fact of life. Why does that bother people so much?
2. This from a cultural marxist.
3. What?

Try making sense man.

As for WHITEMALECISPRIVELIDGE it was a joke. Regardless, this girl makes a legitimate arguement. Why do minorities/homosexuals/whatever get into Harvard with a lower GPA and or less qualifications than her? That's ridiculous. White people aren't evil. I find it funny when people are like "BUT THE SYSTEM BENFITS DA WHITE MANE!" Maybe it does. The US, Canada and Europe are white majority areas. An what the **** is this white awareness shit you're running your mouth about? Take that shit back to your poli-sci class pleb.

 

[TweedPawn]

Modern-day adaptation of Richard III with the eponymous character helming Goldman Sachs?

*Starts writing movie treatment*

I could even animate it for you! It'll have song written by Elton John.

 

[Ush]

Oh **** yes.

Weiss, you know this one? No? Okay. She seems like an idiot to me, but most Americans do. I'm actually happy this happened, though.

 

[BLADE]

On the White Guilt thing:
1. False. There are poor white people too! *GASP*
2. I'm sorry? Meh.
3. What?

1. I know buddy. Was one of them. Lived in a minority area. Am also partly a minority (JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)
2. It's okay. You make the same squealing sound later on in your post. It's harmonically congruent.
3. Again, later on in your post. But you're clearly saying that you think the blacks and the browns are gaming the system.

As for WHITEMALECISPRIVELIDGE it was a joke. Regardless, this girl makes a legitimate arguement.

Does she? GO ON.

Why do minorities/homosexuals/whatever get into Harvard with a lower GPA and or less qualifications than her?

Did they? Do you know her GPA or qualifications? She admits that she was an underachiever. What about these spooky fraudulent minorities you're citing? For example, when I got into Yale, I actually labored under the same system as her, because as a Jewish-American, our skewed numbers at Ivies means that our medians are inflated. So my 35 ACT wasn't that impressive within my self-selected labor group. In fact we Jews are actually at a disadvantage against you dumb white people (because obviously standardized test scores are the one true measure of merit) because our scores are on average higher and our GPAs/extracurriculars too. Yet we never hear about racial quotas advantaging white people, now do we?

As far as your points about URMs/gays, graduation rates at Ivies between the groups are essentially identical. Nearly every student there has 30+ ACT and is in the top 5% of their class. Taking her/your argument at face value requires us to believe a priori that URMs are getting in there whilst being less qualified, which is not empirically born out, but which certainly fits with --let us say-- the prejudices of certain people. Prejudices which you have endorsed. I will let others draw their conclusions about what this says about you.

That's ridiculous. White people aren't evil.

I know. I'm a white person. I'm not evil. Many of my friends are white. Also not evil. Your point?

I find it funny when people are like "BUT THE SYSTEM BENFITS DA WHITE MANE!" Maybe it does. The US, Canada and Europe are white
majority areas.

Yes. There's nothing problematic with this logic of endorsing majority privileges, amirite? Also, very nice use of pidgin. I know every single black criticism of racism is ensconced in some white dude's take on Ebonics. What's next? Senor Wences' take on the marginal tax rate and how it benefits single black mothers over upright white families?

As an aside, what about when white people are no longer a majority? Will you want a system then tailored specifically for LOS MARRONES? Because the Reconquista is coming y'know.

An what the **** is this white awareness shit you're running your mouth about? Take that shit back to your poli-sci class pleb.

*Sighs*

I graduated undergrad a while ago, my dear boy. As far as what I'm talking about, it's this. I was a math major, so this wasn't exactly my bailwick, but as someone with a smidgen of conscience and intellectual curiosity, I sought books like this out.

I am sure, however, that your own deep thoughts on this have come to a deeper understanding than I or anyone else here.

 

[Kreeps]

1. I know buddy. Was one of them. Lived in a minority area. Am also partly a minority (JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)
2. It's okay. You make the same squealing sound later on in your post. It's harmonically congruent.
3. Again, later on in your post. But you're clearly saying that you think the blacks and the browns are gaming the system.





Does she? GO ON.

Why do minorities/homosexuals/whatever get into Harvard with a lower GPA and or less qualifications than her?

Did they? Do you know her GPA or qualifications? She admits that she was an underachiever? What about these spooky fraudulent minorities you're citing? For example, when I got into Yale, I actually labored under the same system as her, because as Jewish-American, our skewed numbers at Ivies means that our medians are inflated. So my 35 ACT wasn't that impressive within my self-selected labor group. In fact we Jews are actually at a disadvantage against you dumb white people (because obviously standardized test scores are the one true measure of merit) because our scores are on average higher and our GPAs/extracurriculars too. Yet we never hear about racial quotas advantaging white people, now do we?

As far as your points about URMs/gays, graduation rates at Ivies between the groups are essentially identical. Nearly every student there has 30+ ACT and is in the top 5% of their class. Taking her/your argument at face value requires us to believe a priori that URMs are getting in there whilst being less qualified, which is not empirically born out, but which certainly fits with --let us say-- the prejudices of certain people. Prejudices which you have endorsed. I will let others draw their conclusions about what this says about you.



I know. I'm a white person. I'm not evil. Many of my friends are white. Also not evil. Your point?



Yes. There's nothing problematic with this logic of endorsing majority privileges, amirite? Also, very nice use of pidgin. I know every single black criticism of racism is ensconced in some white dude's take on Ebonics. What's next? Senor Wences' take on the marginal tax rate and how it benefits single black mothers over upright white families?

As an aside, what about when white people are no longer a majority? Will you want a system then tailored specifically for LOS MARRONES? Because the Reconquista is coming y'know.



*Sighs*

I graduated undergrad a while ago, my dear boy. As far as what I'm talking about, it's this. I was a math major, so this wasn't exactly my bailwick, but as someone with a smidgen of conscience and intellectual curiosity, I sought books like this out.

I am sure, however, that your own deep thoughts on this have come to a deeper understanding than I or anyone else here.

"White Awareness: Handbook for Anti-Racism Training."

I've never lol'd so hard in my life. Holy shit. I could go on but I'm not big for arguing on RP boards. Enjoy your political correctness and I'll enjoy my lack thereof. I lack the motivation to respond to such a monstrous post dear god.

 

[Kaeb]

"White Awareness: Handbook for Anti-Racism Training."

I've never lol'd so hard in my life. Holy shit. I could go on but I'm not big for arguing on RP boards. Enjoy your political correctness and I'll enjoy my lack thereof. I lack the motivation to respond to such a monstrous post dear god.

lolololololololololololol

 

[The Derp of Hooves]

lolololololololololololol

+1

 

[Kreeps]

Originally designed for facilitators as a training handbook complete with exercises and tools to assist white people address racism, this book guides white people through the process of understanding, challenging, and confronting issues of racism. This training program provides a meaningful way to help create change in the white community.

Responding to the challenge of creating a learning environment in which to address racism, White Awareness provides a detailed step-by-step guide through six stages of learning – from awareness to action. The exercises within each of the stages focus on key themes including: defining racism and its inconsistencies, confronting the reality of racism, exploring aspects and implications of white culture and identity, understanding cultural differences and examining cultural racism, analyzing individual racism, and developing action strategies to combat racism.

This newly revised edition published on the twenty-fifth anniversary of the first edition, includes over forty activities with instructions and suggestions for conducting each session as well as recommended readings and sources for use in the activities. Proving worthwhile in educational, business, community, and military settings, the program is detailed yet flexible. The volume has been updated to include new source information, insights on President Bill Clinton’s 1998 “Initiative on Race,” and groundbreaking research on racism as a mental disorder.

10/10 would lol again.