[Ask] The Bananatarian Ranger and the Fruit Loop

[Chairdor]

Sarita woke from a lovely dream. She was being attacked by wild dogs and ripped apart viciously, at first this was rather troublesome until she realized that she was a delicious honey baked ham and that it was her destiny to meet her meaty end at the mouths of these dogs or some other beast. Content now that she was at one with the universe Sarita recalled that her succulent left flank was being fought over when she awoke to find that this was not entire inaccurate as two tongues lapped at her side,

"Ah..ahahah sto- stop it! hahaha" she giggled as she rolled with the forts pooches Rocko and Tarra continued to give her morning kisses. Eventually she found herself in such hysterics that she rolled right off the bed. This monkey might have bumped her head pretty bad but at the last moment she pulled the pillow from her bed along with her blanket and landed upon the with her covers and pillow exactly where they had been. She might have slept on the floor right then and there had Rocko Johnny's white and black dog and Tarra the all grown up Anooba didn't redouble their licking efforts. Laughing some more Saraita playfully bopped the creatures away as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

Looking all around her she saw some fellow jedi still sleeping in their stone bunks as well as plenty of these wastelanders who sure as heck smelled like waste, just not the kind the title was referring too. Moving away from the stinky sleepers Sarita stretched and did a little morning jig to awaken the rest of her tired muscles. After doing a few spins she found her way to the bathroom. Leaving a few minutes later she found Rock and Tarra had followed her with open mouths full of slobber they wished to gift her with. Sarita jumped over them and ran which only encouraged their pursuit. For a moment she regretted giving them belly rubs and table scraps until they loved her, but then she remembered she never regretted anything she did otherwise there'd be too much stuff.

She managed to escape the dogs once she made it to the yard in the middle of the fort. Out there she saw the big brawny guy, Johnny Whatshisnuts or something. He gave a short whistle and a wave to Sarita as he took the dogs out for a run in the yard. Happy to escape the death of a thousand puppy smooches Sarita looked up to the sky to see it was still a wee bit early. Her stomach knew it was morning though and soon demanded breakfast. Walking to the bar counter she heard those awake or just coming in from night patrols all abuzz about last nights drinking discovery,

"I mean we all knew you could wear a boot, but who knew it could also serve as a glass to drink out of?"

"I knoooow!"

Sarita thought these ranger types were weird, except for Vince, Vince was cool. He saw Vince now doing his glass cleaning thing and gave him a wave, the man returned the wave and soon pancakes were presented to her. She had no idea how a world with no large scaled agriculture managed to make so many damn pancakes but she was not about to ask questions. Bathing the delicious flaky things with a syrup made from the mish mash of 'shedidn'tknowanddidn'tcareeither' the young girl hungirly muched upon the delicious griddle griddle nom noms.

"mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" she said and the man eating them next to her agreed.

Laying back in her stool and stopping herself because it was a stool and stools had no backs Sarita spun about and looked around smiling, while it wasn't home, while it wasn't forever, for right now she was having a wonderful time. She was content.

 

[Wit]

Having spent past hour or so working on his ship, having only recently learnt that the stupid droid had tried to strip her apart while trying to fix her for him. It was his good fortune that he had even come to know of it, Gray had done one hell of a job putting everything back together and had he not gotten some of the rangers drunk the previous night he might not even have known what the droid had done for some more time. Once he had come to know what had happened he simply had to go check things out, he had seen Gray work and knew that she was really good at what she did, but this was his ship, he had to be the one taking care of her, plain and simple.

As he walked into the bar, hoping to get a quick bite before heading out to get some more work done, he spotted the girl sitting at the bar. Sarita, not Gray, the hyper hitchhiker he hadn't realised had been living aboard his ship through the trip from Arbra. That had been a surprise, hearing that she had stepped out his ship and then learning that she had been hiding away on board ever since he left the Temple. How did he not notice her? Had really been that distracted by the project of loosing the Order so soon after having found then? He would need to be more careful in the future, letting his emotions blind him like that could be fatal, what if someone not so innocent had managed to sneak aboard? Not that the girl was innocent, she was as big a bundle of trouble as he had ever seen, he could already feel it. But then, hadn't his mother once said the same things about him? Sighing as he realised that for now she was his responsibility, he walked up to the bar and settled down in the empty seat next to her, gesturing for a plate of whatever she was having.

"You smell of dog," he said as he pulled the offered plate to himself and started eating, "and I hope that's a new perfume you're trying, because if you smelled up my ship like that you're on cleaning duty till its gone." Picking up the glass of juice that had been set aside for him, he took a long swing before turning to face Sarita. "Which makes me wonder, why were you on my ship? Where's your master?"

 

[Chairdor]

The food was delicious and the bar was dirty. This was a good thing, she would hate if the bar was delicious and the food was dirty because then she'd eat the bar and it would fill her up on fiber then she'd get taller and she'd grow out of her oh so cute outfit. She loved her outfit more than life itself though life was a close second because being alive meant she could wear her outfit which was a good thing because she really liked her outfit. Her sister Mila always wore like a bunch of different clothes all of the time like they were going to spontaneously combust if she wore a single sock for over a minute. Sarita preferred to keep things simple, so she just kept wearing the same clothes for days, weeks, months. She washed them of course, but that was on naked washing day which as a note used to also be bacon cooking day until the incident.

When Hal Farstrider came to the bar he had a long face and also he looked sad...no wait the other one that has a different letter...oh yeah he looked annoyed that was the word! He said things about her new dog perfume which Sarita wasn't aware she was wearing, she realized this now made sense as that was why the two dogs kept licking her. She hoped she hadn't been wearing it on Hal's ship as she didn't like cleaning very much preferring instead more pleasant things like pretending her hair was a violin. Another reason she hoped she wasn't wearing dog perfume on his ship was because there were not any dogs on his ship so that would be wasteful and Sarita was not a wasteful person because that was irresponsible. Being irresponsible caused bad things like forest fires and only you could prevent forest fires. Sarita didn't know who 'You' was though so she feared the day a forest fire began.

When she asked him why she had boarded his ship and who her master was the young jedi's eyes flapped open and closed in many blinks as she tried to register these strange questions with obvious answers,

"Your ship looked cool and I don't have a master cause if I did he'd be here right now and he'd be teaching me things like how to force and how to lightsaber and other Jedi things that are important and also I heard you were a Banatarian Ranger, but I noticed you still just use a lightsaber, is it at least yellow like a banana or bend like one? Do you defeat your foes with an overdose of potassium?"

Sarita asked these questions as she tried to show Hal what important inquiries looked like, the poor man with such a cool ship seemed to be a hopeless conversationalist. Seriously if he started every conversation accusing someone of covering themselves in canine scent he wasn't going to go very far.