[Ask]...But They Are Much Larger Up Close

[Stacker01]

Thur'hars was, as he tended to be both before and after lessons, in the Archives. But, unlike his usual manner, Thur'hars wasn't studying on his classes or the Precepts, Eight Fold Path, or, really, anything related to the Jedi. He was actually going through class rosters and Master/Knight lists. His interest was in finding a class that would teach him how to gain some kind of actual control over the Force that would wake him from his sleep by tossing a datapad across the room or spinning his sleeping harness around.

At the same time, however, he felt disinterested in following this line, so while he was looking for viable classes he was mostly skimming over the overview profiles of those teaching the classes. It was a boredom that had begun to take him, but it was also a fit of that boredom which was more unusual for him. He read through and through, seeing Jedi Knights who had one philosophy or another. Occasionally he had run across one or two whose philosophies caught his attention but nothing seemed to go far enough for him.

Thur'hars entertained the notion of looking through the Togruta listing, and even a listing of some of the more rare or unique races of Masters, but he was feeling more open to just going outside. He didn't want to hunt today, nor did he want to study something. His mind told him he was mentally exhausted and had a need for some time to...let it fall away.

Not necessarily "letting his hair down", he couldn't allow himself to do that if he were told to go to some party by the temple's Sage Master. He would likely stand around with those who seemed more responsible and discuss Force theory or something that fulfilled the roles of being interesting without being too "fancy", entertaining in a sort of "this will help me fulfill my goals" way, and somehow relaxing to his mind without going into some kind of undisciplined foolishness. Although he did wonder if there was anyone else who thought this way about parties.

Thur'hars logged out of the kiosk, making notes in his datapad about certain classes he might want and who to talk to about them. Then he got up and left, heading through the walkways paying enough attention to not run into anyone or anything and get out the correct set of arches. As he left the Archives and went to turn towards the main hallway leading to the outside grounds he caught glimps of a few Jedi who seemed... under dressed. He wasn't sure how useful that term was considering today's warmth, but it was still almost unseemly. However, he had come to accept that most people in this temple seemed to find it acceptable, or normal. Then again, he was still wearing one of the hunter's vests he always wore on Munto Codru. With that thought slipping up, threatening to awaken whatever was hiding at the bottom of his subconscious, he turned and walked briskly towards the outer ground.

It was a beautiful day. Midday had passed relatively slowly in class and the day seemed to only stretch on from there, but there was a beauty to the grounds and the outline of the natural forest not far from the entrance. He stepped off to wander the area, following a path that led toward the forest, ignoring a certain Cathar Padawan as she sneered at him. His habit was simply to let it pass. No harm done on either party, despite her insistence to degrade him every chance she got after their exchange his first day on Empress Teta.

As Thur'hars stepped off the pathway into the shadow of the woodland he began to wonder about how this "Force" seemed to react to certain instinctual actions, and wondered if he could trigger the boost in speed he experienced a number of times on his home world by simply setting himself up for a hunt that would have him running far and fast across the forest to induce such a thing. But he sighed and leaned against a tree, comfort somehow seeping into his body as if he were back on the hunting grounds he grew up in. There always was a thrill to the hunt, even when he did unexpectedly start moving faster than he should've been able to; though it usually ended in him crashing into a tree or boulder or tripping over something.

The Codru-Ji turned his neck slowly, popping it, and then closed his eyes to listen to his current surroundings. He reached into his subsonic hearing and began to hear the "voices" of the animals of the forest. He focused in on one he had grown to enjoy. It was an avian creature he had started hunting his first week here. The strange creature, which he was unfamiliar with, seemed to have a beautiful voice at both sonic and subsonic levels, but for him it was special, nearly unique that he would hear it.

His concentration in the single "voice" was disturbed when he heard some kind of hum. It was one he thought was familiar but was unsure of. It was rythmic, and moving closer. Whatever it was, it had a sound that would be reminiscent to the subsonic version of a dirt falling from a small hill several feet away, and it was getting louder - no, closer. Without realizing it, Thur'hars stepped from his tree towards the sound. Unable to react quickly enough he was caught off guard when he suddenly bumped into whatever it was that had been moving.

Recognizing the feeling of a certain type of robe some Jedi wore he opened his eyes. At about eye level was some strange object with a point going upwards. It appeared to be like a hat or some kind of head-piece certain races wore and it bore special insignia, some he recognized as almost tribal, though mostly he had no idea what they were. He looked down, a female Togruta he recognized from one of the class listings - a Master, and backed up apologizing for his behavior. Even though he was apologizing his mind raced as it tried to connect this Jedi Master to the sound he had been hearing, which stopped when he stumbled into her.

"Oh, Master, I am sorry to have stumbled into you like that. I was distracted by something. Please, forgive my lack of attention." he said, feeling as though he had failed somehow to comprehend something important between the sound and his current situation. Then an thought formed that might link the two and he decided to follow it. "What brings you to the edge of the forest, Master Jedi? I have not missed another class I was never informed I would attend, did I?" Somewhere in the back of his mind, Thur'hars had this strange idea that he might be able to hear the Force, or at least hear those who wield it and exude it as strongly as a Master obviously must.

 

[Master Maverick]

Tugging at her cloak, she recovered from the stumble. She, too, had been quite involved in her own thoughts and had forsaken proper awareness of her surroundings. The young man practically pleaded for forgiveness which caused the Togruta to chuckle if only slightly. "You need not worry yourself." She insisted that there was no trouble between them and that all was forgiven.

His question was not forgotten nor ignored and furthered the humor of the situation. "He's a jumpy fellow isn't he", she thought. "Out for a walk after lunch, is all." She considered his concern of missing a class. "Well, if you are then we're going to have to make up for that, aren't we?" For whatever reason she was in quite the good mood. It could be attributed to a number of things, but rather than analyzing it to nothingness, she decided to enjoy the feeling instead.

Smiling at him deeply, she wanted to alleviate his fears. "And what have you been up to out here...?" The pause was performed in a way to ask for his name. Once it was given, she would introduce herself. "I am Ashara." The unnecessary title that she had been given years ago, and that so many touted so frequently, was left alone by this individual. She saw herself as simply another Jedi talking to another of the Order. She felt no need to bring up arrogance by practically demeaning the young man.

 

[Stacker01]

The kindness this Master was showing surprised Thur'hars a little. He wondered if his demeanor appeared as a child, seeing as how he was not displaying his usual sense of discipline in almost any manner. Either that or she was a truly kind-hearted person. He elected for a mixture of both and tried to make up for his mistake by setting his mind back to work.

"Well, if you are then we're going to have to make up for that, aren't we?" she asked in reference to the possibility of having missed a class. He was a little puzzled about how this was meant, but he swept that aside as well recognizing he had allowed himself to "fill his head with air", as it were, and let his mind wander. He simply nodded in response while organizing his thoughts.

She asked what he had been doing out here, pausing as though waiting for his name. Not wanting to continue with this air-headed appearance he piped up in a more professional manner. "My name is Initiate Thur'hars, Master." Her response was to give him her name without a title, as though it were a kindness to be so social. It made him slightly uncomfortable, the possibility of a more social relationship with a superior he obviously should be more professional with, but he wasn't sure he could blame her.

"I was actually here to simply take a break. I was listening to the...voices of some of the avian creatures on this planet. Being Codru, I not only can hear subsonic noises but also feel that those noises created by an animals simple grunts, chirps, or even howls are as our young Wyrwulves speaking. It is one of the few things that calms my mind other than..." His voices trailed off as he suppressed any thoughts that could lead to his home, turning slightly as though to look into the trees.

After a second he could hear the vibrations of her heartbeat change ever so slightly. Not much, but enough that a skilled Codru-Ji hunter like himself might recognize the compassionate worry of another. Though he could not be entirely sure if this Togruta was actually reacting in the same manner as Codru might, he decided to not take the risk of appearing troubled. He looked back towards the Togruta's face, straightening his stance to enforce the discipline he tried so hard to instill the past two years, saying, "Master, might I ask what you had in mind to make up for the possibility of missing another class?" His confusion on this was enough to distract him. He also wondered if it could lead to a better understanding of the Code of the New Jedi Order, though it would matter little as long as he might progress a little.

As his thoughts finally began to settle back into the order that was typical for him, he stepped slightly to the side, as if allowing her to pass on the path she had been walking before. He would walk with her if she went on, curious about her tendency towards being social. As well, he felt as though something in the back of his mind was telling him that take a less structured approach might ease his tired mind, allowing it to relax without slipping back into inattentiveness. It would be enough for him, he thought.

 

[Master Maverick]

The elder Jedi did, indeed, choose to continue her measured walk along the path. Certainly in no rush to be anywhere, each step was taking with care. At times a bare foot would show itself beneath her voluminous cloak and skirt. However, her steps were hardly large enough for that to be a regular occurrence. In any event, her foot steps were rather quiet, but not quite silent. There was no need to exert such effort in any event.

His mannerisms and demeanor expressed to her a conflict within himself. He was clearly structured to be more formal, which Ashara was used to surely. Despite her attempt to be more friendly, he decided towards this route. It didn't bother her, of course, but was rather something interesting she had observed. It was a thought that was pushed to the back of her mind as she kept in the conversation.

When he paused, thinking of the word 'voices', she thought this was rather interesting as well. What other word was he thinking of? Or was he simply nervous and it was getting the better of him. Yet again the thoughts passed as water through her mind as the Force moved through her, as it did all things connected to it.

His question caused her to look up at him with a curious eye. As though he should have known the answer or some such event. Looking back at the trail along which they traveled, she did not yet answer. Rather choosing to take a few steps and make him wait, be patient for the answer.

"Well, I am sure I can teach you whatever it was you were to be taught in said class." A though passed through her mind. Looking at him again, she asked, "Do you have a class scheduled for today?" Indeed, this whole conversation was rather pointless if he wasn't missing a class. For a few moments after the question was posed she looked at him with an expectant eye, suggesting she thought he should very well know his own schedule. Not wanting to make him uncomfortable, she looked back in front of her, peering at the path ahead and watching the ground pass as they moved along.

 

[Stacker01]

Thur'hars noted the peaceful way Ashara held herself, and even moved. He also noted that she traveled barefoot and was likely taking measured steps. It was not something he saw in this temple much. Usually everyone was in some kind of a bustle, trying to make an appointment or meet a deadline. But not this Togruta. She was well at peace, it seemed.

The question she asked about his classes, along with the way she looked at him, caused him to feel rather embarrassed. Indeed, he likely had missed another class. Making sure he had not confused whether his introductory class on the Force was today or tomorrow he checked his datapad. He cursed in Codruese, something that would sound like a grunt to the Togruta, as he realized his mistake and made note to see the instructor to at least apologize.

"I actually missed some introductory class about the Force," he said with a sigh, sounding almost as though he might be exhausted despite the fact he had not been in a single physically demanding class that day. In truth he was disappointed in himself. He had been looking forward to finally having a chance at controlling the bursts of the Force that would happen in moments of intense emotions or instinctual activities such as hunting.

He looked back up at the Togruta and wondered if she had, perhaps, found peace in her understanding of the Force. He almost envied such a thought, but put it past him in order to humble himself. He would hear the vibrations of her heart beat change in the absolute slightest again, but this time he wasn't sure what she felt. He was unsure as to why he picked to listen to subsonic vibrations of her heart rather than her lungs or larynx, but he was content with that it could help him gauge how she reacted to what he said and did.

His wonder got the better of him after a few seconds and he asked, "Master, how is it that you are one of the only people at this Temple who seems to be at peace? This is, afterall, the temple of Sages. What do you know that can help others find peace?" As soon as he finished he wished he had thought over it more as the question sounded awkward and almost accusatory. "What I mean to ask," he continued, his eyes wandering the path ahead of him. "Is how you found the peace you appear to have." This time he felt too informal and direct, but it would do for now.

As he listened to her response he would also listen to the vibrations of her heart. He knew it would tell him what in her answer elated her the most. It might also tell him if he had overstepped an as-of-yet unforeseen boundary before she spoke.

 

[Master Maverick]

There was an air of disapproval due to being less than impressed that this padawan seemed to be so scatter-brained that he couldn't remember his schedule and had to check. She wasn't about to call him on it, though, but rather allowed him to continue to talk. However, what he said troubled her even more. She hoped, more than anything, he had not met many Jedi in the Temple yet. That way his observation would be rather moot. If that wasn't the case then she would need to be very concerned indeed.


She didn't look at him when he did her, rather keeping her forward trajectory without distraction. After a short silence she finally answered his question. "Years of meditation and training." The answer was rather blunt, but true nonetheless. "Coming to understand that there are things beyond our control and reconciling with less-than-pleasant facts of life," she added after a few moments of pause.


Her head turned towards him but she only looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "The Force can help you to accomplish many a great feat. You must allow this to take place, however." She had become rather formal in her answer, she realized. Even so, she didn't attempt to lighten the situation with this answer, but rather commenting on the observation she made previously.


"You should get to memorizing your schedule, young one." the use of the term 'young one' was not meant to be demeaning, but was meant to couple with what she was about to say. "You will find your schedule in the near future will only be more hectic than it is now, never mind when you become a Knight." Again, an expectant glance was shot towards the young man before turning back to focus on the path before them.


A gentle curve was coming up ahead and a slight breeze wafted through the trunks and branches of the thick forest vegetation. "In any event, I am sure we can catch you up on that particular subject so you're not behind." The humor was starting to come back to her voice, but not quite yet.


There was a pause as she took a few steps, not yet ready to begin her questioning. Rather allowing him to believe they were going to reach a destination before they began. "What is your understanding of the Force?" The question was posed in such a way as to suggest this was a random query that had come to her mind given they were speaking of the subject. It was more to allow a less stressful questioning so that he wouldn't feel as though he were being put on the spot and expected to come up with the 'right' answer.

 

[Stacker01]

Something had bothered the Togruta, and he wasn't entirely sure what it was. It was slight, however, so it may not have been that important. He thought over what he said and pinpointed possibilities but could not be sure. As was his way to escape worry he let it sit to the side where it could stay out of the way of more important goals but still be reached in his memory without going into deep thought.

The answer he received was not quite what he expected, though that was of little importance because he would eventually get there. The idea that it could take a couple years was not the most pleasing, but it was better than an entire lifetime and he accepted it as it was; a goal to reach.

However, when she told him to memorize his schedule he looked he looked down a little more, as though he was more worried of what he did than what she had said. The problem was he had and still didn't get it right. He'd spent all this time constantly studying something, even missing a few nights sleep to do it, and only now, when he thinks he might have a chance at rest does he slip. It was perhaps a testament to the idea of staying busy to stay out of trouble. It was, after all, why he learned to repair things during the two years he traveled to find the Jedi. But when she said it would only get more hectic he wasn't sure if he felt reassured or worried.

He continued to listen, somehow letting go of his mistake in favor of solving his problem. Disciplined, yet far from it. That's how he felt, and it somehow reinforced his drive. But she seemed to randomly ask of what he understood, which felt to be more curiosity than gauging him. Never-the-less he wanted to answer, and he wanted to eventually learn once they got wherever they were going.

"I've come to find that the Force is, in a way, binding us all together. Like the life that is the universe keeping everything connected somehow. I believe it is also the source of the Jedi's power, as though it were the source of all will exerted in the universe and integral to how the Jedi live." He left out another observation he had made, keeping to himself what he saw. It wasn't because he wondered if it would be trouble, but rather he was not so happy to find the Force used as a weapon in the past.

"I have heard other speaking of some kind of 'living Force', as though all of creation was simply a being that reacted to us, though I am, perhaps, less prepared to speak on that than others." Hearsay was something that would usually get him nowhere, but he had learned that over-hearing a conversation on a subject he had in the future could prove useful. As it was, the Force, to him, was an extension of the will of an individual, harsh an wild without control, but strong and peaceful when controlled. Not as a tool, but as something that was what he, or rather the individual, made it to be. It made sense to him when he did not know the Force and therefore his will in the Force was surprising, random, and unpredictable.

He felt more comfortable here, as far as they were into the forest. He knew it wasn't that far, but it was enough that his unconscious yearning for openness and wilderness was satisfied. He hadn't been in natural areas much in the last two years and it relaxed him, and surprisingly so also relaxed his mind. He felt more concentrated on his thoughts, able to discern better. He would need to remind himself to starting eating mainly outdoors and going for morning exercises in the woods as he had seen others doing. It would likely do him a fair amount of good.

He looked expectantly to Master Ashara, then ahead in the path. After another small moment of silence he gave into himself, feeling as though he was wrong to not speak of his observations. "The Force, seems to be a manifestation of our will, and I have noticed that far too many in the past, including Jedi, have used this manifestation as a weapon. I do hope I am wrong in this, but perhaps it is unavoidable for us to find the destruction in ourselves projected onto others." He actually felt somewhat saddened when he said this. It just felt a shame that he noticed such dangerous uses of such an amazing force of peace. But, he had found that even the smallest dining utensils could be turned into the strangest of weapons. A duality - a rather uncomfortable duality.

He let the thought linger for a moment in his, wondering about this prospect of 'Light Side' and 'Dark Side'. The duality he noted in all things was too apparent for a universal extension of the individuals will for Thur'hars, and he wondered if all the things he knew about the universe would be tossed aside by some kind of amazing revelation about the Force. It was a possibility, as always, and he was far from being the kind to simply accept that chaos was an inherent and natural description of the 'life that connects all'.

Then he thought of the Old Jedi Order's Code: 'There is no emotion, there is peace'. "Master, would you say that the possible duality of the Force leading to the naming of it's destructive uses as 'Dark Side' comes from our own will corrupting it? Could our own...hubris and pride corrupt the peace of life itself when we begin going down a path of darkness?" It might be an uncomfortable way to think of such a power as being corruptible, but perhaps it was important to understand that when we utilize anything, including ourselves, for destruction it is truly our own fault when we are destroyed in the end, just as the Jedi seem to make themselves responsible for protecting life.

 

[Master Maverick]

"It very well could..." She stepped deliberately then to mirror the thought she placed with the words.

The young man was rather perceptive, she had to admit. His ideas had merit and the right to be considered. As such, she thought on them for several moments before speaking further.

"I'm of the impression that the Force is not some passive, receptive entity that simply reacts to whatever we might choose to subject it to." There was an intent of sorts behind her words to suggest the Force was a kind of sentient thing that existed. "I have come across passages written by individuals that believe the Force gives back, in a way, what it is given. There have been writings that death, or even evil acts, create tears in the Force where Darkness resides, to go more along the vein you are speaking of. There are other writings that insist Darkness is created in the individual, and the individual spreads it through the galaxy." Turning, she looked at Thur'hars, trying to see if he was starting to get her point. "There are many theories on what, precisely, the Force is. Those who choose to believe they fully understand it are only lying to themselves and are foolish beyond attention." There was a sort of condemnation in her voice as she said this, inferring that the young Jedi should not think in this way.

Turning back to watch her steps, she continued. "My experience is that it is a mixture of all these things. The force does, in fact, connect most living things with one another. An unnatural death, such as killing someone, does indeed create tiny tears within the Force, beyond sense, where the Dark Side resides. The Dark Side can fill individuals and they can spread it, though whether they spread it through heinous acts or simply using the Force has not been conclusively determined.

"I would think there is some sort of 'fate' as well, that there is a future that is possible. However, to submit yourself to a single outcome is rather foolish, would you not agree?" Her eyes fell on him again at the rhetorical question. It was her attempt to work at lightening the situation, which she knew was getting quite serious.

"I do not believe the Force is any single idea someone has put down on paper. For all its vastness, for it reaches all the galaxy and beyond, to place it in a neat little box would be doing it an injustice. It is like making the generalization that all living things are exactly the same." Her views on the Force allowed for a great amount of interpretation, which was what she wanted. To figure out what the Force was, exactly, was the goal of most Sages and Sorcerers. She knew she was not the first, and she knew her answer did not get anyone any closer to it. However, it did start a road, down which a journey could be started to find such an answer.

It was then that a small stream could be heard gurgling up ahead. She listened to it for several moments, not speaking further on the subject. "No matter what the Force is, one can surely feel it here." Breathing deeply, she closed her eyes yet kept her slow pace.

Several more moments passed before she faced the young man once more. "How have you enjoyed your time here, Thur'hars?" The question was simply put, but as usual would not allow for a simple answer. Well, rather that she wouldn't allow it to.

 

[Stacker01]

Thur'hars listened carefully to the Master, clasping both sets of hands behind his back. Her view on the Force was no different than some thoughts he'd had, but was far different from the ultimate conclusion he had made. It certainly made sense to him that she spoke as though he was "boxing" the Force into an understandable medium while trying to 'open' that box so he could see another perspective. It was refreshing, in a way, to here it put the way she had, in way that made him feel as though the pieces were falling together in the mystery he still saw as the Force.

Her rhetorical questions and obvious statements both gave Thur'hars the idea that he had come upon a Master who was beyond the years and knowledge of many he had come by while also revealing his obliviousness to the matter. For once, he was not embarrassed by the feeling and rather felt like he was simply at a stage where the kind of thought he was taking was normal.

The several moments of silence from the Master were kept with him absorbing and processing what she said. His mind gathered, it was no longer swarming around thoughts and ideas but rather soaking them up for processing. It was the way he preferred to learn: natural learning in a discussion that brought light to truth rather than simply being told how to think and act or sitting in class rooms. He made the decision then to sign up for classes that were being offered outside temple grounds when he had the chance to do so, rather than passing them up for what seemed a more academic experience.

He heard the rumbling vibrations of the stream before the sonic gurgling appeared. It was far more peaceful at this stream for him that any other place he had been, and it was his first time coming across a natural water way on Empress Teta. In the silence before the Master's statement of the Force here he listened to the stream and continued to think on what was said. For now, he would simply be silent and learn. After she spoke of the presence of the Force he listened to her breathing, noting how the Master seemed to take the feeling of the Force in this area in the same way he himself felt the natural peace. He wondered if that was because he did in fact feel the Force here, but did not understand that as he had been so used to such a feeling all his life. Thur'hars, after a second or so, closed his eyes, focusing on the natural stream and mimicked the Master's deep breaths in a way. He wanted to let whatever it was here enter him, flow through him and through his mind. He wanted to feel the currents of the Force as he might feel the water were he to put his hand in it.

The serenity of the place was hardly marred when Master Ashara turned her attention again to Thur'hars. In fact, he felt as though the discussion might be a lead. If not from the Master, then perhaps simply from the Force. He opened his eyes and looked down to Master Ashara's face, noting what he could of her expression while thinking about his time on Empress Teta, and the time here in the forest.

"I could say it depends," Thur'hars said, finally relinquishing some of the hard, stoic discipline he had practically beat into himself. "If you mean my time on Empress Teta I could easily say I enjoyed myself for a while with personal studies on the Jedi Code, Precepts, Eight Fold Path. It was enlightening. And that I made my attempts to enjoy the purely academic setting of classes in the temple, failing to find my mind in the midst of a new life style. If you speak of this forest, I have found the time to be far more enlightening than I had hoped." He thought for a moment, his face contorting in thought as he looked away for a moment. He was unsure exactly what he should say to answer this Master. He was hardly the type to 'enjoy himself', but he had to find a way to center his thoughts occasionally or he would crumble into a mess. This was one thing he did know.

He scowled at the thought momentarily, focused again on the sound of the stream, noting that he had lost the feeling that had originally come at the vibrations of the moving water. He shrugged, as though casting a cape or cloak from his shoulders. It was not in himself to relax, even if he felt as though something was in the back of his mind poking, prodding, trying to escape.

 

[Master Maverick]

A close-lipped smile, making her eyes squint significantly, was offered to the young man. She appreciated his words and the compliment. "I am glad, then." She noticed his hesitance afterward. She looked away, allowing him to think on his answer in peace. It wasn't her way to become too nosy. In any event it didn't really matter. His initial answer, she sensed, was true enough and that was good enough for her.

Her eyes shifted back towards his form when he shivered, but again chose to remain silent. The Force had shifted around him, but it was always in motion so this fact was not significant. Of course she connected it to his face and his shiver, but would allow him his own thoughts. "I have always thought of internal peace to be the goal of every Jedi." She knelt beside the stream and placed her hand within it. The cool water washed over her hand and felt as silk when she held it just right. "It is sort of an unspoken duty of Jedi; to spread peace throughout the galaxy. One can not do this until they find it within themselves." As if proving her point, she reached within the confines of her mind to touch on that place she had created within the Force. Not manipulating it, simply residing within it for a few moments before coming into the present once again. It was a comforting feeling, like the hug of a mother, and it was always within her. It made her smile and she continued passing her hand through the water, not choosing to ask any more question nor press him for explanations on anything.

 

[Stacker01]

Thur'hars still stared at the water as Master Ashara gave her small insightful comments. He recognized that he had felt no real peace in a while, and that where he went was usually followed by the same type of chaos that plagued him. It had been a hard two years and the Sage Halls, as well as this small piece of nature offered the most peace he'd had since his childhood. Thur'hars watched the Togruta's actions silently. He was beginning to see that it was not simply his race that found peace so easily in nature.

Perhaps peace was harder to find for all races in the confines of sprawling steel cities and closed-in durasteel plated hallways of space ships. Perhaps some of that chaos was simply an accidental invitation made by creating such unnatural wonders. After-all, nature had a far more inviting feeling to it. Even if it was a simple nature park in the middle of a city world.

"In all the things I have been doing here, finding peace has been both my first goal and the hardest thing to do," Thur'hars said, kneeling at the water next to Master Ashara. For a moment he watched the water as it flowed over and around her hand. "It will be a journey in itself, I suppose." He too placed his hand into the natural water, longing to feel his hand embraced in the cold, natural liquid. "But how have I been enjoying myself?" He felt as though he was more posing the question to himself than repeating the Master's question.

The water was somewhat cold. Natural water always seemed colder than water in any other setting. I flowed over his hand and through the small patch of fur on the back of his hand. There was an odd tingling sensation he found to be rather strange. He mused at the idea of feeling the Force through the water, but he had never truly felt anything of the Force. Rather, it just happened sometimes.

"I have not. I do not enjoy the setting of many of the classes I have been taking. I have not enjoyed the confines of the Academy. And while I get a sense of satisfaction from a diplomatic or submissive approach to some Cathar who continually prods at me with her 'jokes', I have not enjoyed the few interactions we have had. Perhaps I should speak with her at length about it later." Thur'hars wondered how the Cathar had slipped into his thoughts. He rarely thought of her unless passing halls he was more likely to see her in or the occasional run-in at the Archives. But it was not as consequential to him as his state of being. It would be a constant struggle to keep himself together. Though he was willing to take up that struggle, he wondered how long it would be before it surfaced externally. "In truth, I have not enjoyed myself. Not in the past two years, if not longer. I have all but forgotten how it felt to be in a sense of peace, or at least what it was like without..."

Thur'hars cut short, considering his words to correlate with his feelings and thoughts. "To go without a struggle always at hand." It was the best way he could put it. He lifted his hand from the water, cupped, to let it slide back into the stream. He noticed how his hair stuck to his skin while wet. It gave him a few thoughts but he ignored them and put his hand over the water so he could feel it flow under his palm, and closed his eyes. Again mimicking the way Master Ashara had been breathing earlier he took each breath slow and deep, exhaling in the same manner. Control, self-control. It was about self-control, and allowing himself to go with the flow. Not an easy thing to do when he had practically programmed himself to be stoic and stern.

The Force. Is it like this? a stream?" he asked in a low voice, feeling as though speaking louder would interrupt something important, though he wasn't sure what.

 

[Master Maverick]

Admittedly she was a bit disappointed by his truth but understood where he was coming from. The implications he revealed about his past were interesting, if not troubling. She was quite curious as to his struggles specifically. While she could have related it to what she knew, that a Jedi's life was struggle, she chose to keep silent. The constant boasting of the Jedi Way was hardly necessary. Otherwise she had little to offer the man in terms of comforting words.

The silence that followed wasn't uncomfortable given what he revealed about himself. Some might be inclined to comment, but Ashara was content with the silence of voices for the time being.

"It can be..." She answered after a few moments' silence, choosing not to look up at him in order to keep the conversation casual. She considered comparing it to a peaceful state, but decided against it. She wasn't sure why, but it seemed disingenuous to belittle it into something like that. Her thought process and reasons were kept to herself, thinking back on what he said about being bullied.

Looking at him with a curious look on her face, she asked, "What of this Cathar character. What, exactly, has she been doing?" She purposefully didn't ask for her name. She wasn't about to have Thur'hars tattle on someone. If he wanted to, then it'd be his choice. Even so, it was his job to fight his own battles.

 

[Stacker01]

Thur'hars was simply content with the silence. He was comfortable being in silence, and being near another who seemed to understand that, or prefer it in herself, was enough to make him content. The few moments of broken silence were becoming like moments of being awakened from a day dream. Her response, however, about the Force showed him it was relative, at minimum. At greater levels of understanding it was probably much, much more. Then she asked about the Cathar and Thur'hars had to think of what to say. Though it was a small stumbling block in the road it was not a true problem. There had simply been too few things that had been interesting since his arival to Empress Teta.

"I am inclined to believe she is racist. Makes plenty of racial slurs towards me, though I tend to turn it around on her by being the kind Codru-Ji that is accepting of her for who she is. Though I'm sure she can hear a sense of sarcasm in my voice she is taken by surprise when I display a lack of the xenophobic tendencies my people have. She tried to make remarks about the extra arms but I think I embarrassed her with my response. I find playing these games are entertaining but it is still amazingly annoying that the opportunity is present."

Thur'hars thought on his comment that embarrassed her for moment before adding, "Although I think I should not feign hitting on her when she is trying to insult me and claiming I could hear the 'hidden love from the vibrations of her heart'." It was probably a bit beyond the usual methods he might have taken and it would likely make things worse that he had embarrassed her rather than taking the insults that day. But at least she still walked away after that.

 

[Master Maverick]

She couldn't help but chuckle despite the seriousness of the situation. "I'm glad to hear you're acting the part of a Jedi despite her actions." This compliment meant more than the simple words she had spoken. In the galaxy, much worse things would happen to him. This was the beginning of his path and a good test of his control. "If you find she does not stop, do not hesitate to ask for help. Jedi should not be acting that way ever." There was a hardness in her voice, anger almost. She was quite serious even though she had looked down at the water since then and was 'playing' in the water with her other hand, making figures in the same fashion. Even so, she was careful to not specify that he look for her, that he could look for any with the proper authority to handle such things.

Closing her eyes she delved into the Force a bit. A mild meditative trance, she was quite conscious of her surrounding yet more in tune with the Force as it flowed around her. The presence of another touched by the Force near her was always interesting to observe, though she was careful not to poke too much. She stayed like this for several minutes, the sounds of the forest enveloping them. It was calming to her. While there were repetitive sounds, such as the gurgling of water, the chirping of birds and the sounds of a breeze passing, these weren't the same any two times. Deviations existed in everything, making it much deeper than, perhaps, listening to music or some such thing. As well, true silence never sat well with the Togruta. Though, that was a bit odd considering hearing wasn't really utilized when in a deep trance, which she'd enter almost daily.

After this time, she remembered the class he had missed and the request to learn something so that he wouldn't be behind. "Have you connected with the Force before?" It was a weird question, she knew. All Jedi were connected, so the question seemed ridiculous even. "Have you ever focused on the Force, not only within you, but around you?" He might very well be pretty experienced in the skill, but given the class he was attending she had to assume he was not all that experienced with it. Even if he had, she'd help teach him how to strengthen the connection daily, if he were interested in such a thing. "Meditate with me." The command would come regardless of his answer, her voice having been somewhat detached. Indeed, it might have seemed as though she hadn't even listened to his answers.

"You already feel the Force around you, but look within. Feel as it flows through your body. It enters and exits with an equilibrium of sorts, though not perfect. This can be altered, of course, but we needn't get into that at the moment." She paused, taking a breath and doing herself what she was explaining. "How the Force flows through all life, it flows through you. An important lesson, let the Force work in your mind as it does your body." She paused, allowing him a moment to think of the meaning of this. "Your thoughts and feelings should pass as the Force. Do not dwell on any one thing that would distract you from your task at hand. Allow them to pass, just as the Force..." Her voice faded as she did just this. The explanation of the Force, putting words to what she was doing, as what she was feeling was indescribable.

"As your lung take in air, feel the Force flow into your body. When you exhale, the Force leaves. However, this happens at all times in different parts of the body. As you feel your lungs, do the same with your heart. Follow the blood as it flows throughout your body, nutrients necessary for life traveling within them." She allowed several moments for him to work on this, to understand his body. "Your muscles as they tense and relax. Even those you do not use shift and twitch. Your stomach digests, your kidneys clean your blood. Feel your body as it is and how the Force interacts with and within it."

Minutes would pass in silence as she allowed Thur'hars to do this. It was a lot to take in for the inexperienced, but it was a necessary step in order to take.

"Keeping aware of your body, reach out only as far as your comfortable. Only as far as can be allowed while keeping the full understanding of your body within the Force." This was one of the more difficult items for young Jedi to learn. It was relatively easy for one to ignore the self as they 'looked' about, but to keep both in the forefront of consciousness was something more of a challenge.

"Understand the Force as it moves through the air, as it flows through the ground, as it flows through the grass, the water, the trees, the shurbs, the insects... everything..." Her voice faded again, signalling that she'd give him time to work on this, keeping silent, the sounds of the forest faint echoes in her ears at this point as she listened to the rush of the Force. She didn't manipulate it. Rather, she rested within it. Control would come later. For now, she was content to simply be. It was a form of peace, she liked to think. Others were bored by it, but she thought they had not reached this state. Had not felt what she did, thus didn't know what they were missing, as it were.

She'd say nothing, allowing him as much time as he wanted to work on this. He could stop when he wanted, she wasn't going to force anything on him.

 

[Stacker01]

The Togruta's reply was odd to him. He wasn't sure he was properly diplomatic or acting as a Jedi should towards the Cathar, but at least she did explain that he should find someone to assist in ending things if it does not stop. He did still decide he would speak with her privately to quell any issues between them, eventually. He did not want problems and he was sure that she was not as mean spirited as she tried to be. Something told him as much because she was too easily swayed to go away. Either that or she was attempting to egg him on. He wasn't able to decide. He noted how stern Master Ashara was when she said that Jedi should not act that way. Perhaps Ashara was far more stern than she initially let on. It was another example of how he might come to respect her in the future and things he didn't understand.

He watched her for a moment, noticing a simple change in how things felt around her. It was like something shifted. Not for him but rather just in her. He wasn't sure what she was doing. But he looked across the stream towards a bird across the way. It was like the one he'd seen earlier and even attempted to hunt. If he was not here to learn from Master Ashara he might listen to the sounds that aren't really sounds. Eventually he pulled his hand away from the water and waited.

She asked about the Force, refining her question for his understanding. "No." His answer was short. Of course, this time it was not necessary to give anymore, especially when she told him to meditate with her. He turned towards her and sat down, his arms overlapping on his legs. He'd seen it enough and just decided to stick with it. He listened and observed then closed his eyes and breathed as she did. He wasn't particularly trying to simply mimic her, it was just all he would know at this point. His breathing slowed as he went, focusing on the feeling he'd had earlier. He was confused a little about some of her descriptions and directions, but he figured it out easily enough

He also noticed that as she explained her voice would fade away as if she was doing what she was saying. As he sat, unable to make the connection he listened, just trying to calm his mind at this point. He listened and responded, paying attention to what she was saying. He focused on his breathing and let his mind go to the feeling, the air and understanding. He wasn't sure what he was doing and couldn't even describe it to himself, but he was listening to Master Ashara. Finally his mind began to clear up, the clutter disappearing and his mind able to reach out and grab whatever he wanted it to. He grabbed a hold of what he was learning. His breathing, his body, the air, his blood, his mind even were all grabbed into the same thought: the movement of life, the Force. He let his mind grab hold of the thought of the life within him and the complexity about his simple body.

Now, as Master Ashara spoke he was not so much responding but allowing his mind to tap the words then search for the equal, as if he was feeling his way around a room with his eyes closed being told what was in front of him or behind him. Minutes went by and different parts of his body seemed to register into his mind as he searched for whatever was flowing in them. More than just blood and oxygen, there was life in every part of his body. He let his mind go into all the parts of his body.

After a few minutes more words were tapped. Reach out, but keep his body in touch with his mind. He needed to be aware of himself in the full while still reaching out and trying to touch something on the outside. His mind practically compartmentalized all the thoughts of his body in a single thought. It allowed him to stay aware enough to search for changes or irregularities while he reached out. He tried to focus on something other than his body. The first thought was that his hand was dry and the light breeze was blowing past him. He felt the ground under him and heard the stream beside him. For a second he felt like he was waking up but thought that was not what was supposed to happen. He ignored the physical sensations and allowed his mind to shrink away from the known world. Sight, no. Smell, no. Sound, no. Touch, no. He tried to reach out with his mind. Thought? He wondered if it was thought that reached, or maybe it was a perception that was unknown. He wasn't entirely sure but he went for the idea and reached out, slowly. His mind reached out blindly. He wasn't sure where it was going, but it seemed limited. Was there an actual block or just a limitation for him? Maybe there was a point he had to break through before he could progress properly.

He was reached to the limitation when more words distracted him. He was suddenly aware he was forgetting about his body. His mind openned the compartmentalized thoughts or awareness of his body and he went through them, studying, checking, and reentering what he had missed. It was like he was on a holocomputer trying to link networks or something of the such. He wasn't sure where that idea came from since he rarely used that kind of technology but he was fine with it to a point. Then he remembered there had been more words for him. Feel the Force as it moves through everything; grass, water, trees, and more.

He focused on life itself, unable to find an understanding with himself of how to feel what was around him without touching it. Then something familiar seemed to come through his mind. Rather, it went through his body. He registered an odd feeling that flowed in his body, his thoughts recognizing it as if it was something that had been there but was missed. He wasn't sure how he could have missed something like this, something that flowed in each one. Then it hit him - it was not flowing in each individual spot, it was in all of them at once. It flowed in him completely, and out of him. It was not just the air he breathed or the blood in his veins. It was life. In this realizations he felt it wash over him. He was no longer sitting on the ground. He knew he was but he, not his body, was now floating in some kind of ever reaching, ever moving, ever living substance that was both lighter and heavier than air. It didn't take him from his body but rather it took his mind over for his body.

He was floating, and yet sitting, yet he..he was. He didn't know where this feeling, this poor idea of a sensation that was so much more came from. But it felt oddly familiar. It seemed to be without actual limits, but rather it had points that were stronger and harder to stay in control in. They seemed like places he'd been. Likes something that was in his sleep. He knew the feeling, and knew to avoid it. It ocurred this distraction had made it harder to keep touch with his own mind. He reached back, finding it easy to get back to his body, but reaching out and keeping his body in mind was...difficult.

Several more minutes would pass by before Thur'hars was able to keep both the Force and his body in the forefront of his mind, keeping everything together. Even more would it take before he could begin to sense his surroundings. Not just what was on him or small things about him, but his actual surroundings. It was neither something his physical perception was touching but also not just his mind seeing it in memory. He was actually in tune with his surroundings, seeing the Force move about through the grass, the dirt, the nearby water, and the trees that surrounded him. There was something else but it was more defined, more intricate and complex. He couldn't even begin to understand what he was looking at, no sensing. Or was it really sensing it? The thought of understanding the relationship things around him to himself through the relationship they held with the Force came to mind. He wondered at this and explored the kind of relationship that each object around him had. The Force flowed between objects like the wind and into them like sunlight being obsorbed into the grass or breath into a person. Then it hit him. The complexity he had...found; it was Master Ashara. The complexity was with him, but not him, nor was it touching him. It was also very different in design and capacity than anything else around him holding far more to itself than the other objects. With his body in mind he could compare what he was seeing-sensing. And while there were differences, as all things around him were far from the exact same, the complexity was decidedly more like him than anything else around him.

Thur'hars' mind seemed to shudder, like he was staying at a point too far away for too long. It pulled him back. He wanted to struggle but his hold was not as strong as his mind. He let himself slip back, slowly, until he was aware of his body, inside and out, and the ground under him, and mere inches around him. He was back in his own world with the Force entering, residing, and exiting. He wasn't sure if he'd done something wrong or if he just wasn't strong enough yet. The thought of control came to mind. Not controling what was around him but rather his wanderings. He needed to keep from going out too far. He must have come dangerously close to the point where there was more strength in the Force than was available to him and his mind, his subconscious was protecting him.

This seemed too easy until then, though. And holding where he was seemed too easy. As if he shouldn't have done this well this fast with so little under his belt. But he was here, and it was enough for him. He studied that which was within his limitations, examining and learning what was around him and the way the Force interacted with it and how the grass, dirt, water, and air related to him through the Force. There seemed to be more than he could ever learn just in this small space and the thought excited him. So much to learn. And this wasn't even the end. He knew there was more to it all. And the further out he would eventually go, the more he would have to learn.

He was still aware of sound, and openned up his mind to hearing enough to register anything Master Ashara might say. He wasn't sure how long he had been in this state, or how long it had taken to get there. But he knew she was there and that there was probably much more for him to do.

 

[Master Maverick]

The quiver in the Force signaled her to his completion of the task. She had kept an eye on him, his struggle and the strain on his mind, making sure he wouldn't get lost in the depths of the Force as she had almost done several times in her youth. However, she stayed out of his way for the most part.

Turning to him after several moments, not hurrying to rip herself from the meditation, she smiled deeply at him. "Well, I think you get an 'A' for the class." There was humor in her voice and she chuckled lightly at herself. "There is nothing more for you to go over in terms of this skill. Work on it, but be mindful of your limits." Her head tilted downwards suggesting she knew well his concerns of becoming one with the Force before his time, and on accident and not following the death of his physical body. "Practice and time will see you improve." She nodded softly, assuring herself that her words were true.

"You may return to the Temple if you wish." She looked around, up towards the reddened sun and the dim light that pierced the holes between the leaves. They had spent most of the daylight hours out here. He had accomplished much, but it was a bit more time that she had wished to spend. The Force, she knew, had plans for her though and she wouldn't worry on it. "I enjoy the outdoors. I think I will stay out here a bit longer." She didn't look at him, seemingly fascinated with the woods she had already looked at before, though seeming to witness them in a new light, different than before.

A goodbye was not entirely necessary. She dipped her head and proceeded to meditate once again. Falling quickly into a deep trance, she would be nigh impossible to talk to. The Force flowed through her as if she were a conduit for it, yet freely without manipulation. The it would shy away from her, it would seem. Subtle manipulations, attention to the finer details of that which bound life.

 

[Stacker01]

As though being ripped away from buckled seat and tossed across the room Padawan Thur'hars rather suddenly hit the ground, the sound of different objects crashing down around him. Groggy and confused he rubbed his eyes, and his head, trying to understand what had just happened. The lush green of the forest had been replaced by grayish blue. But he was on his back. Why was he seeing something that looked like permacrete. He blinked and rolled over before pushing himself up to a standing position and looked around. He was in his quarters in the temple and had been underneath an unbuckled sleeping harness in the very center of the room. It had turned out a few small items in the room were laying in a near-perfect circle around him, but otherwise his room was rather clean. He still wondered how he got there.

Thur'hars went into the bathroom and turned on the faucet, splashing his face with water and looking into the mirror. As his thoughts cleared and the throbbing in his head slowed down his memory began to come back to him. He hadn't seen Master Ashara in some time and though his meeting with her in the forest was true, and was much like what he just experienced, he had just been awakened from a dream. He had failed to touch the Force in his first meeting with her, but after the training he'd had with his new Master, Jedi Knight Saul Dimash about two days ago Thur'hars had obviously dreamt of a successful attempt at touching the Force. It changed his view on what he'd done there in that training room with Knight Dimash.

Thur'hars felt like something was different, though. Not just in his dream. He walked out to the main room and looked at the objects that were laying in the near-circle around his sleeping harness and he realized what it was: this was the first time in years that he had not dreamt of home and that only a few things were tossed around in his sleep. As a matter of fact, the objects on the ground were laying there as less having been tossed around by strong winds and more just...dropped. He must have been levitating them in his sleep.

Thur'hars went to the refresher and began cleaning himself up, thinking about the quality of sleep he'd had. Two days prior Thur'hars met Knight Dimash. Yesterday he had met Alexis and Deenar. He had also met the only person he had really opened up to: Arikka-Mar. Perhaps he had been comfortable enough when he went to sleep that his mind did not wander off into his nightmares as usual. Or there was something more to it, something that had far more meaning than what was there on the surface.

Once Thur'hars was cleaned he got on his clothes, cleaned up the objects on the floor, grabbed his training sabers and left wondering if he would see Master Vashee again today, though with his priorities it would be nigh impossible.

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