Ask A Wall That Should Exist Like the Suit of Beskar Around Our Home

[Reiel Mal Crowholde]

“Got a lot in your mind, Bosswoman?”

Nirem's voice wouldn't have broken Reiel's concentration if it weren't for the Morellian's follow-up in the form of not so subtly clearing his throat. The small Mandalorian, currently helmetless in the privacy of her office, looked up from the datapad she was holding in one hand. She had been too caught up with reading the latest holonet and tabloid broadcasts that it slipped her notice when her trusted right-hand man entered the room. With a tired sigh she abandoned her datapad but not before frowning at the news of the untimely death of Chancellor Emil Ro and the murder of Senator Phineas Hawthorne. Even Mon Cala hadn't been spared from a terrorist attack mounted by some bastard named Gareth Gin. While her sorcerer was a very capable fighter and an adept Force-user, she still couldn't stop the worry that gnawed at her.

President Thorne himself had been kidnapped before. Who's to say an attempt wouldn't be made towards Carrick, let alone threats to his life? As his chief of security, wasn't it her responsibility to keep him safe, to be his shield when–

Reiel jolted from her seat when Nirem loudly clapped his hands once close to her face, her reading glasses dangling off of her nose as she looked up at the Morellian with wide eyes, her heart hammering against her chest from shock. For his part the ex-mercenary was staring down at her with a curious gaze, one brow raised at the surprise she displayed. Nirem then shot her a light frown, shaking his head once, twice, before occupying one of the chairs in front of her desk.

“Force around us, Reiel,” the Morellian exclaimed, concern clear in his visage. “What's gotten into you– ” a quick glance from her datapad had Nirem raising both eyebrows this time “–okay, acceptable, given your unnerving devotion and desire to protect our dear Senator.” His gaze was still on the datapad as he reached for the device and read the articles himself, missing the way Reiel blushed for a moment before regaining control over herself.

The small Mandalorian rose from her seat and took her glasses off. Picking up her buy'ce and settling it back to its rightful place, Reiel walked towards the floor to ceiling glass windows and surveyed the city below her. She knew Carrick wouldn't begrudge her for worrying about him – hells, he would surely tease her about it, even – but there was no way she could crush any and all errant thoughts of him being kidnapped like President Thorne or worse, assassinated. The attempt on Carrick's life the day he was sworn into office as Senator of Tinnel IV was still crystal clear in her mind. If it weren't for her helmet her sorcerer would've been six feet under. Or maybe even cremated (like her uncle Dell, ashes spread into the seas of Corsin), who the fuck knew–

She fought the urge to curse at her own morbid thoughts. Reiel had been losing sleep for the last couple of days as one bad news piled after another across the holonet, from Sith expansions, death of politicians, and even the situation over at Mandalore. There was nothing bad about her people finally having a Mand'alor to rally to, hells, she had been ecstatic about it, but the Sith presence on their homeworld brought her back the nightmares from the fall of Firrerre. Her buir refused to tell her why a Sith Lord had come to Mandalore, but the emergence of the Mando'ade's leader after that visit definitely meant something.

Buir told her not to think too much about it, but he should have known by now that it would only occupy her thoughts even more. But that would be her concern for much later, because right now, Reiel Mal Crowholde had a very gorgeous, very handsome, sorcerer to protect. And while she could pull off throwing hands against anyone who would dare lay their dirty hands on her Carrick (and really, he was more than capable of doing so himself – she just liked protecting him from the baddies) there was no telling if she could still do so when the attack was made on herself.

No, not the physical ones. Those she could take. But, on the event that it did happen, what if she would be taken (not that she was a somebody to begin with)? How could she better defend herself if her mind was assaulted instead, her thoughts picked apart for any and all information she knew about the inner workings of the ISC's military? It was unlikely that an enemy would take interest in a mere head of security, even if she was the head security of the ISC's Secretary of Defense. Her stomach, however, turned at the thought of being used against her sorcerer.

Reiel knew that she was becoming even more paranoid with each passing day, but she knew that there was a way she could lessen the paranoia somewhat.

She could ask Nirem for help, ask him to teach her how to better safeguard her mind from unfriendly Forcie attack. But as much as she trusted Nirem, she knew that there was a Force-user within the senate building of Tinnel IV that she would trust with more than her own life. And so, with a smile on her face and a faint dusting of red on her cheeks, Reiel assured her friend that she was somewhat fine now, sent him back to his duties, and decided to pay her sorcerer a visit to his office. So one ride to the lift and a walk down the hall later, the small Mandalorian found herself standing in front of Carrick's office and announcing herself formally before stepping into his office.

“Senator,” the small Mandalorian began as she stood across his desk, the corners of her lips twitching upwards into the beginnings of a somewhat teasing smile due to her continued formality, “there's a favor I need to ask of you.”

@Nefieslab

 

[Carrick]

Who was he supposed to send a gift basket to when it came to the death of Chancellor Ro? Carrick wasn't sure. He also wasn't sure if he should be sending one as an expression of sympathy and one as a congratulations to the killer for a job well done. As much as Carrick didn't mind Ro as a person, he wasn't exactly going to cry any tears over his death - all it meant to him was that it was a good excuse to tighten up security regulations around the ISC Governors and their families.

The military would be on hand to act as protection and deterrent - and if that endeared him and the military? Well all the better. He had long since known that his continued position within the ISC would become increasingly tenuous. As an open Force Sensitive, Carrick was a sore point for most of the general public even if his opinion polls back on Tinnel IV were holding steady.

Sitting at his desk, Carrick was actively using three different datapads when Reiel knocked on his door. One was internal mail, one was dispatch reports for the ISC navy to cover and protect Mon Cala and the other was a fantasy huttball site - half the damned cabinet were fans of the blasted game so he had learned to enjoy it at least enough to make conversation about it.

"Reiel you know you don't need to ask favours."

He smirked ever so slightly as he shut the datapads down and leaned back in his chair, giving her his full attention.

"But go on - ask away. I'm not going to pretend that I'm not intrigued."

Reiel asked for very little for herself after all so it was interesting to see her suddenly so interested in doing so, even if he was certain she was teasing him with the wording.

@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Reiel Mal Crowholde]

It seemed that she caught him at the wrong time, his attention commandeered by three different datapads. Before Reiel could excuse herself the smirk on Carrick's face prevented her from doing so – even more so now that she herself seemed to have taken his full attention. The small Mandalorian couldn't stop the bright grin that burst across her face, cheeks heating up at his words.

She took another step forward, bringing herself closer to his desk. One gloved hand found purchase on the desk, fingertips gliding idly along the surface. Helmeted head tilting slightly to the side, she locked gazes with her sorcerer before deciding to go straight to the point. There were always plenty of time for continued teasing but she wanted to convey the seriousness of both the favor she would be asking and her intent across.

“Alright, so here's the thing,” she began earnestly, fingers tapping the desk once, twice. “The Mind Trick is said to work only on the weak-minded, right? But then–” one gloved hand swept towards one of his datapads “–there had been this issue with the Jedi Grandmaster and the late Chancellor once... no, not the harem issue, but her entering his mind.”

Reiel took off her buy'ce and shot her sorcerer a thoughtful look. If there was a way for a non-Force user like her to protect herself from that specific form of mind invasion, then that was good news. If there was none, well at least she had asked him.

“The Mind Trick I can resist, but mind probing? I'm... not exactly sure. I– well, I want to find out if there's something we can do to somewhat prevent any other Force user from doing that to me.”

@Nefieslab

 

[Carrick]

Did she think that she commanded less of his attention than matters of state? For most people it would be an entirely correct assumption but Carrick trusted Reiel with more of his job than most. As both his lover and his primary bodyguard (head of security too), she had security clearance few within the ISC could lay claim to and he was glad of it.

Sometimes he needed to vent to someone who knew about his work – without that he was certain he wouldn’t have been nearly as well adjusted as he was currently.

Of course when she started speaking both of his eyebrows raised up into his hairline and stayed there as he listened to her. This was… not what he expected to be fair. He wasn’t entirely sure what he had expected (Reiel was anything but predictable after all) but this wasn’t it. Humming ever so slightly, Carrick eyed the room before activating the lockdown procedure to lock and soundproof the room.

“The Grandmaster probably could have done it through brute force.” He admitted, his face making it clear how likely he thought that would be, “Or if she was invited. If you invite someone into your mind it is a matter of trust – they can speak to you or they can use it in a more insidious manner and influence you.”

As much as he was not a Jedi, Carrick didn’t believe for a second that the Grandmaster was the type to do that – but it was politically expedient for the ISC that people believed that she would. That she could was enough for the more paranoid. Eyeing Reiel, he sighed a little bit and thought about it.

“This… isn’t going to be fun. You understand that, right? It’s like battering a door down so you can replace it with a strong door.” He grimaced, “The new door will be stronger but the first one will shatter into splinted and they’ll hurt. How sure are you that you want me to do this?”

To do this to her.

@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Reiel Mal Crowholde]

Her gaze never left Carrick's even as he began to lock down and soundproof the room. It was a nice thought that he didn't seem to want anyone walking into their discussion, but the way he looked at her after she had spoken almost made her want to fidget where she stood. He probably didn't expect her to ask this of him or to even raise the topic, but she was grateful that he was being considerate about her request.

He always was.

Somehow she'd already expected that entering someone else's mind might hurt for the recipient, his words and his expression dead giveaways that the thought of unwillingly hurting her in the process would be a weight he'd carry. But Reiel knew that it would hurt Carrick more if she would fall victim to an enemy Force-user's mental assault. He'd probably blame himself for not preparing her from an attack like that – and that was one thing she wanted to avoid.

The small Mandalorian reached forward and held her sorcerer's hands in hers, giving them a reassuring squeeze. She wouldn't have asked this of him if she didn't care not truly loved him. Of course she also wanted to protect herself, but Reiel had the habit of putting the people she loved first before her. Every act of protection, she did for them more than for herself. She knew her place beside Carrick – he'd made it crystal clear to her during the aftermath of Firrerre's fall. So if it meant being hurt so she could stand even stronger after?

“We've built a suit of beskar around our Home,” she softly told him, briefly releasing his hands so she could shed her helmet. Her gloves came next, and when her palms slid back to his Reiel gave Carrick a gentle smile. “Carrick, thank you for telling me all these. For telling me what to expect. But I refuse to be helpless and defenseless in the event that an enemy invades my mind. I want– I need to protect myself from that. That way, I'm... well, I'm protecting you, too.”

Her smile vanished, but the warmth in her eyes remained as she stared at the man who stole her heart. She probably could have spoken something more poetic, something that would shake an adversary's conviction, and while she did not stumble all Reiel could say was an unyielding,

“As sure as my love for you.”

All seriousness would have fled her out of sheer embarrassment for saying something so cheesy but the small Mandalorian stood her ground firmly, her demeanor earnest.

@Nefieslab

 

[Carrick]

Carrick rather thought that Reiel didn’t truly understand what she was asking for but he was aware that she believed there was a clear and present danger that someone might attempt to pierce her mental shields. For most people their “shields” were just layers of willpower and stubbornness and these were enough against almost all kinds of gentler probes, hence why the mind trick didn’t work on those with strong minds.

But there weaker probes were not what she was worried about.

He wanted to be able to tell her that it wasn’t something she needed to be concerned about, that it was something he could protect her from without any pain. But he had decided not to lie to her when it came to her health and his security. He ran a hand over his beard for a moment before sighing, once, and exhaling his doubts away.

“Alright.” He agreed with only a touch of bitterness at being pushed to do this to her, “Alright if you want to do this, then it’s best we do it right.”

Standing from his comfortable chair, he gestured for her to take the seat that he had vacated as he took off his suit jacket and tossed it away from himself. Rolling up his shirt sleeves, Carrick took a series of deep, short, breathes as he brought his mind closer and closer to the Force. Closer to what he was about to do with the Force.

Shaking his hands out in an odd display of nerves, Carrick paused for a moment as he returned to Reiel, a hand resting on each temple.

“This is the least attractive situation for this conversation but we need a safe word. A code phrase so I know when to back out.”

Depending how his own use of the Force had changed… this could be difficult to pull himself out of. He needed to have something like that, a tether, so he could use it to pull himself back even from the worst.

@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Reiel Mal Crowholde]

It was transparent that this was something he didn't want to do to her. Reiel, for her part, understood why Carrick didn't want to, why his honesty felt more of a deterrent than a reassurance as bitterness tinged his voice as he finally agreed. She understood where he was coming from and at the same time she didn't. While she had met and befriended other Force-users, being in a romantic relationship with one didn't guarantee that she would come to fully understand how they could perceive the world around them, nor the extent of the powers the mysterious Force afforded them. Srucayr once told her that the Force were Arasuum, Hod Ha'ran, and aruetii gods made manifest in the universe. Her ori'vod told her that the Force was the Mandalorians' true enemy.

Years passed since that conversation she had with Srucayr back on Mandalore, when she was sent to answer the first call for Mandalorians to unite (and the first to fail, though it resulted in the beginnings of a unification among some few clans). Reiel, being the most un-Mandalorian Mando'ad she was, didn't share her ori'vod's and his Akaan Salyre's views towards the Force. To her, what made the Force dangerous was how it was used. It was what she was taught by the ex-pirate captain who raised her, what Fiach told her when they first met, and how Buir saw it given that his first foundling had been a Force-sensitive herself.

As much as she hated seeing Carrick be forced into doing something he disliked, her resolve reminded her to stand firm with her choice and swallow the guilt she felt. The small Mandalorian watched, a little surprised, as her sorcerer rose from his seat and shed his suit jacket. Oh, they were going to do this right now? She rather hoped to do this later after work in the privacy of his apartment but she wasn't complaining. Like Ba'buir always told her, ‘there's no time like the present.’ And besides, the senatorial building was one – if not the most – guarded establishments in all of Tinnel IV, she was one of those who made sure of that.

Reiel occupied the seat he had abandoned and looked up at her lover, a flash of sudden nervousness flickering in her eyes. She began to take one fortifying breath, then another, as Carrick faced her again and moved to rest his hands on her temples. She held one of his hands with hers, and though he would feel a slight tremble to them the anxiety that flashed earlier in her eyes was now replaced with steely resolve.

Like beskar resisting a lightsaber's strike.

The small Mandalorian couldn't find it in herself to offer her sorcerer an amused smile at his next words, rather, she nodded in agreement at the severity of the situation. Her hand squeezed his thrice, an unspoken ‘I love you’ before it joined the one on her lap. Reiel closed her eyes for a brief moment, thinking of a phrase code that had more than enough of a meaning. Something that suited the both of them and the bond, the feelings, they shared.

Meeting his gaze, she told him the phrase code, “Ni kar’taylir gar.”

And with that she was ready for what was coming – or at least as ready as she thought herself to be.

@Nefieslab

 

[Carrick]

She was right – he didn’t want to do this.

But there was no preparing for something like this, not beyond what he had already done so far. The longer he had to ‘prepare’ the longer he had to second guess his decision to do as she asked to help her with her mental defences. With a hand on each of her temples, he listened as she muttered the code phrase… it was a bit overly long but he couldn’t doubt the emotion behind it, especially when he was practically holding his heart open with the Force as he stood at the ready.

No time like the presence.

“Take a breath.”

While she was in the middle of taking her steadying breath he attacked – like metal spikes stabbing straight through her temples directly into her brain. Icy cold pain of intrusion followed by the throbbing fiery pain of a headache unlike pretty much anything she had ever felt before. Her instinct defences weakened by pain, Carrick thrust his own mind, his own consciousness, forward toward her mind.

He felt a lurch and pull around his navel as he dove into her mind, flipping through flashes of fragmented memories in the manner of some demented clip show. Reiel would be able to see exactly what he was seeing as well – though with none of even the minor control over it he had. Finding a memory, something about a bar fight with a tall and thin Mando that Reiel had found funny, he chose it.

She needed proof that he had gotten in and could mess with something… so he Pushed the idea that the funny memory wasn’t actually funny. No, it was Sad. Overwhelmingly, tear-inducing, Sad in a way that was completely at odds with what she knew of the memory. Pulling back out of her mind in a rush, he staggered a step or two back.

“… how was seeing Arthos?”

The emotion was foreign and obviously so – it would take but she would be able to know that it was artificially Sad and resist it over the next few minutes but still.

@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Reiel Mal Crowholde]

Reiel nodded once, taking one last fortifying breath before pain she had never experienced before assaulted her. Carrick didn't even let her finish, agony coursing from her temples down to the tips of her fingers and toes. Her first instinct was to violently pull herself away from his touch, away from his mental attack but the small Mandalorian held her ground with a loud, pained grunt.

The pain was anything she had ever felt before. Her training and verd'goten have been brutal. She had been stabbed, shot, and even poisoned one time but this...

It felt as if someone was deliberately drilling metal spikes in her head in a parody of a demented crown. It made her tense rigidly where she sat, fingers digging painfully on the armrests of the chair as she fought (and failed) to keep her eyes open. The pain was so intense it made her want to throw up but she didn't, swallowing harshly as she gasped, choked, and groaned, fighting to keep oxygen in her lungs as agony forced it out. Then, along with the pain, came flashes of fragmented memories she was forced to see as her sorcerer seemed to flip through them like one would with the pages of a book.

He was someone he trusted, but through the thick haze of pain clouding her judgement she tried to take whatever semblance of control she could and attempted to block him out. It was rhe reason why she requested for him to do this, after all. The attempt was weak at best as she was both caught off guard and enfeebled by the blinding pain of having her mind probed.

The small Mandalorian let out a pained, weakly defiant shout when she felt his consciousness and his intrusion pull away after what felt like hours. Reiel felt so close to blacking out from the sudden assault, and she was sure that she would have had Carrick not asked her something. Normally, hearing Arthos's name brought a smile to Reiel's face, thoughts of the younger Mando making her feel happy and proud, but the tears that suddenly carved fresh tracks on her cold, pale cheeks said otherwise. Hearing Arthos's name presently prompted a profound sadness, as if the teenager's mere presence and memory were only meant to break her heart.

And Arthos was someone Reiel hadn't told Carrick about. At least not yet.

Instead of answering his question she lifted a trembling hand to wipe away her tears. Confusion struggled against the sadness that filled her eyes, brows furrowed as she choked and sobbed. Why did thinking about Arthos made her sad? The kid had done nothing to break her heart. Hadn't she told her vod that she was proud of him when they last met? Why did that last meeting bring her sorrow instead?

A moment passed as she continued to wordlessly cry over the memory, fighting against the slowly fading pain and the sadness she knew she wasn't supposed to be feeling as she thought back to her and Carrick's conversation earlier before they began. The small Mandalorian let out a frustrated growl as she tried to calm herself, taking one shaky breath after another.

“...they can speak to you or they can use it in a more insidious manner and influence you.”

“It's– It's not supposed to be sad,” she thought out loud in between hiccups. Reiel raised both hands to briefly cover her face, then wiped away a stubborn tear or two that kept falling. With more strength and certainty in her tone this time, the small Mandalorian met Carrick's gaze, a hint of accusation flashing in her tear-filled gaze. “It's not supposed to be sad.”

As the minutes passed it was becoming easier to reaffirm her feelings over the memory. Reiel reacquainted herself with what she truly felt the last time she saw Arthos, the hilarity of the barfight and the pride she felt towards him as he told her about what had transpired on Mandalore. The memory was far from sad – and she suspected that the negative emotion that overwhelmed her wasn't even genuine to begin with. Hadn't Carrick mentioned something about influence...?

“You did something else other than look,” she told her sorcerer, referring to Arthos and the memory, and though her tone came off as accusing he would feel no enmity nor anger from her. He would feel confusion alongside curiosity, and maybe the smallest tinge of awe as she continued to gaze up at him with wide eyes.

@Nefieslab

 

[Carrick]

It wasn’t just using it on Reiel that Carrick disliked but using the technique on her left a bitterness in his mouth that was quick to counter the unnatural response. Using the technique in such a manner was touching the Dark Side and it did so like to make itself feel natural, to make you want to use it again in the future. But it didn’t matter how much the Dark Side cooed to him or warmed his blood when all he could taste in the back of his throat was the bile.

Causing Reiel such pain was not something he wanted to do – and it was as far from something he enjoyed, despite what the Dark Side pushed onto him.

It was necessary.

It was something practical that she had literally asked him to do, something she had literally pushed him to do despite his own concerns about the whole thing. Thinking about it entirely logically it made all the sense in the Galaxy but that was not the same as a thing being right. The Jedi had stressed that for years during his upbringing and he could feel it in himself right now.

He had done something that made sense from several different perspectives but it was not something that could ever be considered right.

It was necessary…

It felt hollow as he watched her cry.

“No, you’re right. Its not sad.” He agreed with her, “Knowing that is enough, in most cases, to push the foreign emotion away.”

He ran a hand through his hair and exhaled with a huff of air.

“That? That was not subtle. The worst kind of intrusions will be so subtle that you can’t help but think that maybe you’re wrong; maybe they never happened at all. Like gas lighting you with the power of your own thoughts.”

It was a disgusting power… but one that would be used against her by those who didn’t care for morals.

@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Reiel Mal Crowholde]

She had asked him a favor and he delivered despite his concerns against it. In the aftermath of it all Reiel could see clear as day how it affected Carrick, how he hated being pushed to use the Force against her, even more so causing her pain. The bitter hollowness in his eyes as he watched her cry was more than a testament as to just how much he truly cared for her, how much he loved her. It made tears trickle down her cheeks anew as she staggered to her feet and crossed the distance between them, arms wrapping around his middle and burying her face on his clothed chest.

The small Mandalorian was at a loss for what to say. The apology for forcing him to do this to her was stuck in her throat. She knew that he saw the logic, the practicality, in what she asked of him, and despite her lack of intimate understanding of the Force she could tell that the powers he displayed was a bad one in all it's obviousness – because how could forcing one's mind to invade, to see, someone else's be good?

Her grip on his shirt tightened.

“I'm sorry you have to be the one to do this, Carrick,” she muttered against his chest, her tone laced with pain but spoken with much sincerity. “But... you're the only one I fully trust, the only one I'm dead certain who won't take advantage of what I'm asking of. I'm sorry you have to do this, cyare. I'm so sorry...”

Reiel did not let Carrick go – at least not until she made her point across. Perhaps she would never truly understand what her request was doing to him other than cause him a different kind of pain and regret. The small Mandalorian, however, would stand firm on her claim about him being the only person she trusted to do this to her, to teach her – even if it hurt them both. It was better to go through this pain, this discomfort and guilt, now than later, in the even that an enemy would mentally assault her and he wasn't there to protect her from such an attack... or she had not an inkling how to defend herself in the first place.

She couldn't let anyone do this to her, nor would she let anyone use her against him through such manner. Protecting herself meant protecting everyone she loved. Protecting him.

Reiel pulled herself away a little so she could look up at him, her eyes bright with tears.

“Do you remember what you told me on Firrerre?” she asked quietly, lifting one gloved hand to tenderly cup his cheek. “About... About doing things we might not like, but with the end result being us untouched by our enemies?”

Standing up on the tips of her boots and wrapping her arms around his neck, Reiel gently pulled Carrick down to her level and softly pressed her forehead to his. “I'm so sorry you have to be the one to do this. I hate seeing you in pain like this, doing something you hated. But we have to... for you. For us. Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum. I will protect you.”

Steeling herself but still reluctant about letting him go, she muttered, “Again.”

@Nefieslab

 

[Carrick]

He wanted a drink.

He had started drinking more than he had ever done in the past - the pressures of the job he supposed - and he didn't feel like he was going to be stopping any time soon either. If these were the kind of things that his lover was going to ask of him? He was going to be far from done before the end of the night, let alone in the future. The allure to just dull his senses, his feelings, just that little bit with some expensive brandy?

Carrick turned away from Reiel for a moment, eyes closing as he pushed down the urge to drink away his problems. He couldn't drink them away and he could give in to them either. Neither would help him and neither would help her... which was the only reason he was still in the room.

"Better me than an enemy." he agreed with a touch of bitterness to his voice, "Better your lover torment you to better protect you against someone who will not show you such tenderness..."

What a joke.

It felt like he was abusing her and it made his skin crawl.

He placed his hand on her forehead this time as he focused on the Force. What didn't need to be said was that he was only changing where he placed his hand so that he wouldn't have to look her in the eyes as he continued. Breathing deeply, he swallowed thickly.

"Remember; the memory is Happy. Know that to your core and keep repeating it to yourself - especially when everything in your mind tells you that it's wrong."

Diving into her mind again, Carrick targeted a different memory in a slightly different way. He took the memory of their first kiss, a memory he could tell she felt strongly happy about, and began to lace in another, temporary, emotion. Sadness? No, she would expect that.

Instead he made it aggravating, something that would make her angry to think of it.

@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Reiel Mal Crowholde]

He didn't need to say anything about the whole situation with bitterness in his voice. His actions always did speak louder to her when it came to his feelings, and right now Reiel felt all the more awful as the weight of both Carrick's words and emotions sunk deeper in her heart and mind. Right now there was nothing she could do to make things better, to make him feel better, because how could she when he very succinctly put her own thoughts and feelings about what she asked of him to do.

It felt awful, even more so as she thought that there might be nothing she could do to comfort him.

The small Mandalorian bit her lip, unable to do nothing but to nod and follow her sorcerer's words to the letter as they both prepared themselves for what was next to come. With his hand on her forehead Reiel closed her eyes, probably the kindest thing she could do for the one she loved at the moment.

Happy. Whatever memory he would tamper next was happy, and there was nothing he could do to make it sad because she already expected that.

Even if she was already familiar with the kind of pain the Mind Probe came with, Reiel was still unable to stifle an agonized gasp as Carrick once again dove in her mind. Her grasp on his shirt tightened, knuckles turning white as she gritted her teeth and tried to push against the full brunt of the pain. The memory is happy, she reminded herself, uncaring if he heard as he remained in her mind. Stubbornly, she repeated, It's happy, and there's nothing you can do to make me change how I feel about it–

Smiling through the pain as she watched the memory he picked, Reiel let the happiness she felt on their first kiss fill her, a warmth against the cold, cold pain. Removing her helmet halfway so she could press her lips to his in a bid to calm him, because his eyes have gone dark and despite the short amount of time they spent together the small Mandalorian knew then and there that it was a look she didn't want to see on his face.

“Not how I imagine sharing our first kiss... But thank you, Reiel.”

It was happy.

It was happy.

It was happy...

It's not.

Because what was she thinking, showing half of her face to an aruetii in the middle of a fight just to kiss him?! No Mandalorian in their right mind would do that – that was wrong, wrong, wrong, what would Buir say if he finds out, what was she thinking, stupid Reiel, stupid, stupid, stupid–

The memory alone made her see red. Except...

That was her choice, wasn't it? Their first kiss was something she didn't initiate out on a whim. It was borne out of a hint of sadness that she wouldn't be able to truly understand the depths of his emotions as someone touched by the Force, and a leap of faith and hope that something as simple yet as powerful as a sincere kiss would be enough to pull him out of the anger he felt towards that bastard Overseer.

And when it worked?

Reiel still felt being over the moon for days, her happiness manifesting in the way she moved, the way she sang a little louder, and the way her face heated up as she replayed their first kiss in her mind, not knowing that it fed her growing feelings and affection for Carrick.

How could something like that feel aggravating, she asked herself even as her mind screamed at her that it was.

He's doing this for you even if he hates it so much, even if he hates how much he's hurting you. And what are you, the one who asked this, doing? Bending to these false emotions being planted in your mind?

This is your mind, Reiel Mal. This is your own playing field. Who gave anyone the right to mess shit up here with or without your consent?

This memory is happy and it will always be. Beat up anyone who tells you otherwise.

Who said it was a memory so aggravating that it was enough to make her angry just by thinking about it?

Through the pain Reiel grinned faintly, huffing out a breathless laugh as she loosened her grip on Carrick's shirt. The anger was still there, but she stubbornly clung to the happiness she knew was real. Fighting against her mind, on top of battling through the pain, was exhausting. But she was not just a Mandalorian (or the most un-Mandalorian out of all the Mando'ade). She was Reiel Mal, the scrawniest yet the most stubborn kid in that farming village on Sorgan.


“Mind-wrestling,” she whispered as she slumped bonelessly against Carrick. “Now, that's aggravating.”

@Nefieslab

 

[Carrick]

He waited.

She was going through the ringer that he put her through because she asked him to but all he could do was wait until she was out the other side of the storm. Either she would come out of her own mind and be angry at him because of his manipulation - in which case he would remove the changes - or she would come out of it with her own sense of rightness in the memory restored. With her own strength of mind and will having carried her through it.

Patting one of her hands when her face began to smooth out and her anger gave way to more regular frustration, he knew that she had managed to see the manipulation he had done and break through it. It was nice, in a way, to see that she was so strong that she could break out like that.

It made him smile, even if the whole situation made the expression feel so brittle.

"Welcome to Mind Arts 101 from the Jedi Order." he told her with a softer smile and a nudge to her forehead with his chin, "Ended every class needing some painkillers for the headaches."

Both breaking into others minds and having his own broken into... it was exhausting in a way that was utterly different to any physical exercise he could name.

"Now I'm going to show you a technique for throwing people out before they can do anything. It'll probably come easily to a hard-headed Mando like you." he smirked ever so slightly, "I'm going to break into your mind; and you're going to use every scrape of willpower you have to push me out. Want it, Need it, in a way you have never needed anything so much before in your life."

Alright... and again.

This time he would breach her mind but he would just stay there, his presence sitting heavily in the forefront of her mind like some kind of big, easy, target.

@Forsythe Crowholde

 

[Reiel Mal Crowholde]

Reiel couldn't stop the pride and relief that rushed through her when she saw Carrick finally smile. If only she had known how much her request affected him... but even then he was the only person she truly trusted in this planet, so maybe knowing prior to her request wouldn't make her think twice. She knew she couldn't just search for a Jedi even if she did have very few friends in the Order – and she wasn't even sure if Fiach was still alive, it had been literal years since they met. The smuggler she saved on Tatooine and befriended years ago, Arctus, was a Padawan still so she assumed her request would be beyond him.

She leaned onto his touch, his chin on her forehead, and willed herself not to cry again because as much as the process hurt she knew it hurt him more. There were two sides of the Force, and she had an inkling that the Mind Probe might be something the Jedi taught that Darksiders used. A new worry began to form within her at the thought, though. Was the Mind Probe a Dark Side ability? Did she just bug her sorcerer into using a Dark Side ability on her? Because if that was the case–

Reiel didn't get to finish her train of thought as her attention immediately gravitated to Carrick's voice. She instinctively, albeit weakly, smacked him on the chest at the mention of her hardheadedness, face turning red from a mix of pride and embarrassment. The small Mandalorian smirked back at her sorcerer, though it was apparent that she was seriously taking his words and instructions to mind.

She didn't want to speak yet, knowing that it would only waste her energy for what was to come next. Instead Reiel held one of Carrick's hands, squeezed it three times, and readied herself for the intrusion she had never experienced before. This time when the pain came she made no sound, silently enduring it through gritted teeth, and eyes falling shut as she felt his presence in the forefront of her mind.

It... It felt different than when he was just altering the emotions that accompanied her memories. It felt different from his physical presence, and even from the emotional and psychological effects she felt from him. Within her mind he was... warm and cold, familiar and not, welcome and unwelcome. Within her mind he was a roaring fireplace in the middle of winter and cold like the icy waters of Maldo Kreis where she and the clan once lived; a presence that calmed and protected her, and yet she knew that he wouldn't have her feel this way. At least not now, not when the objective is to push him out for breaching into her mind.

But how would she do that? How could she push a presence out of her mind? Reiel floundered for a bit, feeling Carrick's presence within the confines of her mind. How could she push away something intangible in the first place?

At least she had something to hold on to when he was just messing with her emotions and memories. But this... this had her stumped–

Think, she thought herself, uncaring if he heard. He said I should want and need it like I've never wanted and needed anything in my life before, and to use every scrape of willpower that I have.

But still she grasped at straws. Telling him to go away wouldn't do it. How could she even push away something she couldn't touch?

A part of conversation she once had with her vod Kotii Solus whispered to her from the back of her mind, causing the small Mandalorian to frown rather thoughtfully.

“Still want to try and pass ourselves off as smugglers?”

“You did say that we might need to be imaginative.”

“You certainly are that, Reiel.”

This was her mind, her turf. Though she had no idea if the thought would apply to him, Reiel willed herself to think and believe that Carrick's presence currently sitting in the forefront of her mind was something she could grasp. She visualized his presence into his form, visualized it into having both substance and weight to match how heavily she felt his presence in her mind. He was a presence, but at the same time she imagined his presence into a corporeal form so he would be something she could touch within the planes of her own mind.

Reiel had no idea if she was even making sense but if it worked, then it worked. Her own willpower, given form, marched up to his presence, raised both ungloved hands, and pushed.

Mustering every ounce of strength and willpower she had, Reiel thought of nothing but pushing him out of her mind because as much as she loved and trusted him? He couldn't be here, he shouldn't be, he wasn't allowed. She tried to push him out, wanting it, needing so badly to get his presence out of her mind because he was not allowed here without her consent. Her own strength of will clashing against his presence, willing him, pushing him out and back in his own mind where he rightfully belonged.

@Nefieslab

 

[Carrick]

This whole thing was getting to him and they could both see it - the difference between them and other couples was that they both knew that he needed to keep doing it anyway. Others might have cried and demanded that their loved ones stop doing things that were clearly causing them distress and pain. But for them? They knew that a little bit of pain, a little bit of frustration, now was worth it's weight in beskar if it could give them a chance against a threat in the future.

So he endured every part of the activity that he hated because it would make Reiel stronger, give her more of a handle on her own mind and how to help avoid it being influenced by those who had the Force at their beck and call.

His presence lingered as she gathered herself and Carrick fought not to hurry her along. It wasn't going to be anywhere near this easy when someone actually tried to look into her mind and manipulate it to their own ends but this was her first attempt at pushing someone out of her mind so he made allowances... even if he could feel himself growing slightly anxious as he just stood there, his mind both within himself and, partially, within her as well.

It was an odd feeling and he liked it not.

He felt it when she started to push at his presence. It was straight forward and, were he attempting to actually do something to her, he could work around it. But he allowed himself to be pushed from her mind with a small smile followed by a short clap.

"Well done on your first attempt Reiel - now we're going to do it again. Same thing but faster; stronger. Be as swift and as brutal with it as you can possibly be."

Without warning he was pressing back into her mind, hoping that she would be a natural at this sort of thing because he didn't know if he would be able to cope with needing to make this a regularly practiced thing between them.

@Forsythe Crowholde