A New Initiate

[Fyston]

​

The lights dimmed and flared back into existence before returning to their old, steady hue. Tucked almost entirely in a wall panel, the young Initiate could barely be seen from the doorway. He had been aboard the Peacekeeper to do some standard maintenance and train. Well, it was supposed to be all training but the teenager had seen far too many issues to spend his time not fixing them. He had spent much of his day tracking down what could have caused a well-sized failure of the electrical system. Most wouldn't have realized it, though the numerous damaged plugs, the flickering lights, and a gnawing suspicion lead Xenefious Krandar to track down the source of the issue.

And so here he lay, surrounded by tools with his Jedi robes a few feet away and his tunic stained by both sweat and some unknown substance. Two electrical conduits had been damaged, either over time or due to battle, and were in danger of shorting each other out, resulting in full power loss to a fair portion of the ship. Having spent the last two hours dismantling and repairing the damaged conduits, Xenefious had been ready to call it a day when his comlink informed him that he was being summoned. What made it simple was that he was actually being summoned to the very room that his mid-calves and feet were in.

As the time approached for his summoner to meet him, the Jedi began replacing the various covers and, satisfied with his work, scurried out of the workspace in time to see a taller, green-skinned Jedi walking into the room. Torn between replacing his tools and bowing to the elder Jedi, the Initiate did the worst of both worlds. As he bowed, he attempted to drop his tools into their correct spots but only succeeded in dropping them, causing a vibrant CLANG to sound out, reverberating across the metal walls with deafening results. In response, Xenefious rose to try to explain himself, stammering all the while. "S-s-sorry M-master P-p-pelora. I'm n-n-n-not a c-c-creep, I s-s-swear. I w-w-was j-just t-trying to f-f-fix y-y, uhhhh, the c-con-conduit."

 

[Valen Pelora]

General Valen Pelora walked the halls of the Peacekeeper. It was a strange feeling watching Rangers salute, and Jedi bow, as he passed by. He had never considered himself anything but average. Most of his life had been spent in anonymity, wandering the Outer Rim offering aid where he could. He served as a mediator, diplomat, and healer. He had never spent much time around his fellow Jedi, returning to the Temples only a few times a year. His Lightsaber had been more decorative than a weapon.

That had all changed on Argazda, nearly a year ago. Valen had been thrown into the war and been surrounded by it ever since. Somehow, he had found himself embroiled in conflict. The healer had become the warrior. A part of him wished to return to the simple life he had lead before. Part of him knew that could never happen. The healer found himself leading an Army. Tython had burned, and the Jedi needed guidance. He thought he could provide that.

He had only received the news a few days ago, and he was still trying to come to terms with what it all meant. The Empire needed to be defeated. The Light would burn out the Dark. Despite all of his internal struggles, and doubts, the Light still burned strongly in his heart. Valen was shook from his musing by a small voice behind him. Alara, the administrative aide recently assigned to help his transition.

“Sir, um, Master Pelora?” They were still working on what she should call him. There hadn’t been Jedi Generals in some time.

“Valen is fine, Alara.”

“Ah, yes. Can’t do that, Sir. Rules an all.” Alara was a flighty and anxious Jedi, but extremely capable. He sighed, this was going to take some getting used to.

“I understand.”

“I’ve been looking for you, there is a rather pressing matter requiring your attention. Sir.” He stopped to look at mousy human Jedi.

“Everything has been pressing the last few days.” Alara chuckled.

“This slipped through the cracks. Before you new position, you had been assigned a new Initiate.” His brow furrowed. He had not requested a new trainee. Sigal was progressing extremely well, she likely was nearing her trials. Irx was off in the unknown regions. He was ferociously proud of the young Hapan, he hadn’t considered taking on another student.

“Who is it?”

“A young Jedi, he left the Order for the Army only shortly before Tython.” His heart ached. The wound from destruction of Tython still festered deep in his soul. It would never fade. “I can have him assigned to a different master.”

“No, no. I will meet the boy, the Force brought him to us.” Alara handed him a datapad with the young Jedi’s information, she scurried off. Valen quickly walked through the halls to where he was set to meet his new student. He was dressed plainly. Dark tunic, brown pants, and leather boots. His travel worn robes slung about him. He did not look the part of General. It took him only a few minutes to navigate the familiar halls of the Peacekeeper. He was soon walking into a room with a very young Initiate. He smiled as the boy stumbled, and stuttered.

“Relax, young one. The Peacekeeper does not run on the Force. We need keen Jedi, like you, to help keep things running smoothly.” He read as much as he could about Xenefious before meeting the young man, but he needed more. He pulled two chairs towards them with the Force, and sat down. He indicated for the young Jedi to do the same.

“Tell me about yourself.” He needed to learn about Xenefious before he could decide how to teach him best. He had done the same with Sigal, an age ago.

@Fyston

 

[Fyston]

A look of instant relief crossed Xene's face as the Mirialan Jedi smiled and told him to relax. Back on Bandomeer, Xenefious would have been ridiculed and he had even heard negative comments from other Jedi when his nervous, socially anxious side took over. He had managed to make quite a few friends of Jedi his age before he had joined the Army, though those friends had mostly perished during the attack on Tython. Even his old Master, who had somewhat supported Xene's decision to join the Jedi Army, had perished. Since then, the attitude of much of the Jedi Army had, to Xenefious, turned to one of readiness and action and a nervous, stuttering Initiate had likely not earned their respect, at least in the mind of the young Jedi.

And so the boy sat, pulling his dropped tools to him with the Force and replacing them as he pondered his new Master's statement. He took a few seconds to calm himself, practicing the same calming techniques that he used when utilizing Soresu, before beginning to speak. "Well, Master Pelora," the Initiate started, his voice relatively low. "I'm Xenefious Krandar. I'm 14 and I was born on Bandomeer." As he spoke and became both more calm and slightly more sure of himself, Xene's voice began to rise in volume to that of normal conversation. "My parents and oldest brother are still there and I visit when I can. Anyway, I worked on the various machines, especially those that most people got hurt or killed working on. I've always been pretty good with fixing stuff."

As he finished his last statement, the boy's eyes lit up. "My brother, Dardan, is good at fixing stuff, too! He just works on people, not machines. Anyway, I joined the Jedi when I was six and here I am. My old Master and most of my friends died on Tython so I spend most of my time fixing up stuff on whatever Army post I'm at. I train when I'm not fixing stuff, eating, or sleeping but most of the other Initiates train together and I don't want to embarrass myself so I just stick with training droids or, occasionally, a Knight if they're not busy."

The young Initiate took a breath and suddenly, again, became nervous. What if I get in trouble for not training enough, Xenefious thought, suddenly worried about being sent to the Service Corps. Pushing that thought to the back of his mind, the Initiate spoke again, though didn't notice that his stammer had returned. "S-so, Master P-pelora, I for-forgot to c-congratulate you on-on-on your r-recent prom-promotion so, uhh, co-congratulations!"

@Valen Pelora

 

[Valen Pelora]

Valen listened to the excitable young Jedi. The boy was curious, different than what he had expected. He could see the wheels spinning as the young Jedi told his tale. He listened patiently to Xen explain his life. It was all information Valen, mostly, already knew. The files on each Jedi were extensive. The Army’s independence from the Order saved a tremendous amount of information when Tython had burned. He was less conferenced with what Xen told him, but rather how he was told. Mannerisms, inflection, what information the Initiate emphasized, all gave him insight in the boy’s mind. It was an important first step.

“Thank you, young one.” He closed his eyes for a moment, choosing his words carefully. He would be truthful with the young Jedi. “I have another student.” He paused. “Although she does not need me much anymore.” His connection to Sigal ran deep. She had saved his life, when all had seemed lost. “You were assigned to me before my new responsibilities. A Jedi Knight is a target, but no more than any other Jedi. For a time, I was among the most unnoticeable.” He ran a hand through his hair, his voice heavy. “It is different now. I will be a target of the Empire, and I cannot hold back. Anyone who is with me is at risk. I will not put you in harm’s way without giving you the choice. I will have you assigned to another Master, all you to do is ask.”

Valen smiled at the young Jedi. He was tired, but he would never stop finding joy in teaching. He would not lose that part of himself. The Army was about more than a war, it was about healing the galaxy. That started with teaching how to heal.

“But, if you want me to teach you, I need to know you. I know all those facts of your life, Xenefious. I want to know you. Not facts, not data points. You.” He looked at the young Jedi gauging his mind. The Lightside flowed strongly from Valen, wrapping around the room. This was only the start of their first lesson.

@Fyston

 

[Fyston]

While Xenefious was not the best at picking up social cues, he could discern when someone was upset or had quite a heavy burden to bear. Too many times had he heard and felt sadness on Bandomeer and, since beginning his training with the Jedi, the Jedi felt much sadness throughout the galaxy. As the General ceased talking and simply seemed to examine Xenefious, the boy felt the calming presence of the Force as it flowed around him. It was this calm that Xenefious sought to utilize when using Soresu but Master Pelora had seemed to produce such a calm without thinking about it. The young Jedi was, admittedly, jealous, though he understood the sacrifice and years of training and missions needed to get to where Master Pelora was and Xene secretly hoped that he could make it that far.

"Well, Master," he began, allowing the calming presence of the light side to both reassure and embolden him. "I reckon we're all targets, aren't we? The Sith are an Empire now and we might as well all have targets on our heads. I knew what I signed up for when I joined the Jedi Army and, if the Force should take me, I only hope I go while doing some good."

The Jedi pondered the last portion of his new master's reply and couldn't quite make up his mind on how to reply. He was, after all, almost wired for efficiency and getting to the point and this was definitely out of his comfort zone, though he suspected that the General understood as such. "Well, I like to play wargames in my free time and I can, sometimes, even beat Dardan. I tend to be methodical and I like to watch and wait for an opening before I act. I prefer Soresu when I fight, as it allows me to either find a mistake or force one. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, though, and I hate making mistakes. Back on Bandomeer, mistakes killed people and, in the Army, things are no different. We are our brother's keeper, after all."

Xenefious took a breath and thought for a moment before continuing. "I have a dry sense of humor that can be pretty morbid. Growing up and watching mangled workers being pulled from machines isn't great but having to pull out arms and legs from the machines was slightly worse. I hate the smell of death, it's sickly sweet and clings to your clothes. I'm sure we will encounter Death again but I am fearful of that day. As long as I can keep him from taking more innocents, I'll be okay." Taking a deep breath, a notably curious look crossed Xene's face as he looked at his Master, scanning his face as he spoke. "How do you deal with it, Master? We are targets, as I said before, but I don't think I could handle making a mistake that kills people."

Realizing that he had likely crossed a line somewhere, the Initiate mentally backpedaled. "Regardless, how is your other pupil doing? I did not mean to ramble and I look forward to learning from you, Master."

 

[Valen Pelora]

Valen effortlessly immersed himself in the Light. The calming waves of the Force washed over him. It felt right to be at home again. The Peacekeeper was a Force Nexus, making it easy to find peace on board. It was peace that had lately been escaping him. He had found it difficult after the fall of Coruscant to meditate. Death had clung to him like a disease. Slowly, it was getting easier to regain inner peace. In time he knew it would return. He would have to accept his limitations. For now. He was closer to the Force than he ever had been, his personal struggles strengthened the bond.

He patiently listened to Xen try to answer his question. What a curious young Jedi. The young boy spoke about himself, like he was reading from a textbook. Valen might have thought he was getting a dissertation on a historical figure, rather than the human sitting in front of him. The way Xen answered the questions gave him all he needed to know. Xen’s view and personality were in stark contrast to Sigal. The young Hapan had needed to learn to care, because she was too emotional. Xen saw the world as a problem to be solved. He needed to learn the galaxy was messy and couldn’t always be solved. Valen thought he knew exactly how to start. He smiled, the creases under his eyes crinkling.

“Sigal Adi Chume’da is my other student, you will meet her soon enough. She’ll like you. Eventually.” He let out a small laugh. Sigal had a caustic wit, and enjoy employing it. She knew it bothered him. Xen was young enough he would likely be spared her withering tongue. Sigal had a soft spot for children. He turned to Xen’s more difficult question. It did not serve either of them to avoid the hard subjects. The Army was going to ask Xen to fight, he was going to ask Xen to fight. The boy should know what he would be facing.

“I have taken lives, not as many as you might think.” He always did everything possible to avoid death. Any death was victory for the Darkside. He remembered every life he had ever taken, and would until he joined the Force. “I have made mistakes that have cost others their lives. It’s not easy to live with. The war changes all of us. What is most important is we don’t lose who we are, or forget why we fight. We are Jedi. We can’t forget what that means.” That was the battle inside of the war. To not lose who they were at their core. It was why he had joined the army. “Tell me, what are you fighting for?”

@Fyston

 

[Fyston]

The Initiate listened as the General answered his question and returned fire with one of his own. Xenefious slanted his head as if examining the question from a new angle. On one hand, it was a simple question. Xenefious was fighting for those who could not fight, for those who needed stronger beings, the Jedi, to protect them from the brutal nature of the Sith. On the other hand, Xenefious's logical nature told him that it would be more efficient for each "strong" individual to train a hundred individuals, who would then train a hundred more and so on. At least that way, he thought, There would be a huge number advantage on our side and we can focus on the Sith, on what matters.

But which answer was right? Xenefious knew that there was no right answer as this wasn't a test but he always secretly wondered what people wanted, what their goal was, with each question or statement. He did not want to say the wrong thing even as half of his mind told him that there was no wrong answer. At the very least, I will gain more experience as I solve people's problems as opposed to having them solve them themselves. He briefly pondered his sentence structure but, finally, took a breath and spoke. "I fight to protect those that cannot. To me, that brings up an image of my parents and of the people of Bandomeer. I am strong enough to fight and it is my duty to protect those who cannot, or will not, fight. We have a duty to stop the Sith and to keep the peace, though we do it in a way that the standard Order does not agree with."

Before Xenefious could stop himself, he blurted out an additional line. "But why don't we just teach people how to fight for themselves? To understand the evils of the Sith and to fight against it wherever possible. I understand that they may not be able to fight head-to-head but resistance-type measures would cause more damage than refusing to fight." The inherently stubborn, inner fighter portion of Xenefious had taken over. He had not known defeat in many instances and had yet to complete many missions and yet he was a firm believer that everyone should assist in some capacity. "I mean, special forces troops embedded on certain planets could help coordinate local fighters and improve results if/when we counterattack. War may be hell but is being forced into slavery by the Sith any better?"

Again, the teenager felt as if he had gone too far, though his inner fire forbade him from apologizing as he had before. If it was Bandomeer, I would rig the machines to kill as many combatants as possible and would cause subtle mistakes in the produced equipment to ensure failure under stress. The Initiate seemed to have a plan for everything or was otherwise capable of making one, though his inner drive and Jedi upbringing did not do much to temper any teenage naivety.

@Valen Pelora

 

[Valen Pelora]

Valen suppressed a cringe at the mention of the Order. Perhaps young Xen did not understand. The full magnitude of the Sith’s assault had been felt by every Force user in the galaxy. The Army had held no information back. Jedi knew what had happened. There was no more Council, no more Order. The Jedi Order was as dead as the planet they called home. Only the Army remained, they were all that stood between the Sith and the galaxy. The last remaining Light. A pang of sadness rang through his soul. He had been a Jedi all his life, the Order had been home. That was all gone now. He couldn’t help but think how things might have been different if the Order had intervened in the war.

It didn’t matter. He had hope the Republic would stand tall, fight for their people. That hope was wavering. Each battle the Jedi fought and the Republic hid behind their walls, was another small victory for the Sith. They did not have the resources to fight an Empire. The Republic seemed disinterested in defending theirs. He cast aside his doubt, this was not the time. He needed to focus on the student in front of him.

“War is more than the battle. We cannot forget everything that happens when the battle is over, people need our help there too.”

He thought carefully about his next words. He did not want to alarm the young Jedi. “The Army of the Light is strong, but we do not have the resources of the Republic. We cannot be on every world, we cannot stay on every world. We must pick our battles or risk stretching ourselves too thin.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “Training worlds full of soldiers sounds like a logical solution, but there is not an easy fix to every problem. The world is not a machine to be repaired. We could train towns, villages, planets, for years and they would get slaughtered by the Sith. Our solemn duty is to protect the vulnerable. Training them for war would be killing them ourselves.” He looked at Xen and smiled again. “We are going to win, because the Light burns away the Dark.”

He stood up and walked over to a panel on the wall. “Now, I have droned on enough. It’s time we started your training.” He depressed several bottoms and 3 training droids with training sabers marched in to the room.

@Fyston

 

[Fyston]

Again, Xenefious listened to Master Pelora and, when faced with the logic of picking one's battles or overextending one's self, understood that not every world could be saved. His brother had attempted to teach him about the principles of triage, though Xenefious did not view it in the traditional way. Fix the most important machines first, leave the rest until later if need be.

What truly frustrated the teenager was Valen's suggestion that there is not always an easy fix and that the galaxy is not as easily repaired as a machine. Those two lines resonated within the Initiate, causing him to furrow his brow. Problems, even when complex, could be generally broken down into simple issues and solved from the ground up. A broken machine was a complex issue, though if you looked for the symptoms, for the fact that it did not turn on, you could look for what caused them. Once you discovered what was causing the issue, that the link between the outlet and the inner power circuit was fried, you could identify the simple issue and fix it.

The Jedi again piqued his head to the side. He could accept that his initially proposed idea was wrong. After all, he had no tactical experience compared to the General who was sitting in front of him. He had no real-world experience compared with his Master. What Xenefious was having issues with and, indeed, could not accept, was that the galaxy was not a problem to be solved as easily as a machine was repaired. To the Initiate, his entire worldview had been dubbed by General Pelora as wrong. Being wrong, having made a mistake, stymied Xenefious in a way that he had yet to encounter. His brow further furrowed as he attempted to examine the problem from multiple points, though his thinking was interrupted as his Master stood and walked to a nearby wall panel.

It wasn't until three training droids, armed with seemingly typical training blades, strode into the room that Xene stood and allowed his mind to set down what had occupied it before. Blasters were no issue as he had had plenty of time training with Dardan, though he had not had as much time with other Jedi. He had some experience with lightsaber combat, of course, though made a mental note to give himself more space and to not get overconfident when it came time to attack. Of course, he thought, They won't fatigue like normal beings. I can only wait so long before I have to take a chance.

And so, with a look of determined observation, the Initiate stood and tugged at the white cylinder at his waist. He stepped to the side, keeping a safe distance from the droids, and dropped his dominant foot back. Keeping both hands on the hilt of his weapon, he ignited the vibrant blue blade towards the center droid but remained careful to keep all three in his sight at all times. As he waited for them to make their move, he exhaled and let the Force flow through him and calm him considerably as he had been taught in the past. While the Force, the Galaxy, and the Peacemaker all had a tumultuous energy about them, Xenefious centered himself. Nothing matters outside of my blade's reach, thought the Initiate as he dropped into the deep defensive calm that made up Form III.

@Valen Pelora (sorry if you were waiting for me to tag you)

 

[Valen Pelora]

Valen watched Xen ignite his Lightsaber and step towards the droids. He could feel the Force flowing through the young Jedi. The Peacekeeper was an excellent tool for Initiate’s to learn. The Force nexus made reaching the Lightside unusually easy. He admired Xen, the boy was strong in the Force. Not abnormally strong but more refined than he had expected. Xen’s footwork looked solid. The basis of any successful saber combat was rooted in the feet and legs. A strong base was difficult to overcome, a strong base was necessary. It was a good beginning. Valen quickly made a few hand signals to the droids. The two on the sides would be set to an Initiate’s level, the middle droid would have a slightly increased difficulty. He needed to see what Xen was made of.

“Begin.” The droids moved forward, ready to engage the young Jedi. The Droids would push Xen but not past his limits. Valen’s goal was not to discourage his newest student, but rather see how much the young man had to learn. He had a good sense of the boy’s philosophical bend. He needed to understand how much Xen had to learn with a Lightsaber. Then he could gauge what the boy needed to learn in the Force. It would not be a lengthy process but it would necessary. He could not be an effective teacher unless he knew what to teach. He waited for the action to start. Valen lazily crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.

@Fyston

 

[Fyston]

Xene's lightsaber hummed peacefully as the two droids on the side stomped towards him, their training sabers held in the ready position but angled slightly towards the Initiate. The middle droid followed, though slower, as it watched how Xene interacted with the two droids approaching his side. It had been a while since the Initiate had had routine lightsaber-vs-lightsaber training, though it did not show on the determined Jedi's face as he scanned both the room in front of him and used the Force to scan the room behind him, ensuring that he had plenty of space.

The two droids attacked at almost the same time. Almost. The one on Xene's left attacked a half-second behind the one on Xene's right, providing a perfect opportunity for the Initiate to drop his blade into a more defensive posture as opposed to the taunting position that he had taken up. As Righty's sword entered the eye of Xene's storm, he batted it directly into the path of Lefty's blade, which rendered neither a threat. The Jedi spun on his heels, moving his blade behind his back to keep any errant blows from hitting him. The young Jedi kept his lightsaber away from his body, giving him more room with which to dodge and fall back on if an attack penetrated his defense, though definitely the hallmark of a Soresu user who did not completely trust in his own abilities.

As his body faced the droids again, it was apparent that the middle droid had seen enough and joined the fray. Xenefious noted that while the outside droids utilized more basic attacks similar to Shii-Cho, the other droid was more fluid and did not seem to favor a style. It might be waiting to see my weaknesses before it chooses one style, thought the Initiate briefly as he examined the droids in front of them. The middle one had stabbed his saber towards Xene, keeping the Jedi's attention as the other two moved towards his flanks. The Jedi, whose blade was pointed towards the floor, angled his blade to intercept the middle droid's blade, causing it to bounce off of the vibrant blue blade. The angle of his blade allowed Xene to block Lefty's attack, though Righty had used this moment to stab directly towards the small of Xene's back.

Fortunately, the Jedi paid heed to the Force's warning and leapt into the air and away from the droids, the blade missing his vital organs by inches, though managed to slice into Xene's right side. He had no time to pay heed to this injury, however, as the middle droid was upon him again once he landed, his blade almost a blur of motion as it swung at the landing Initiate, who parried the blow and slid towards the droid and inside of its guard. Releasing one hand from his lightsaber, he summoned the Force with the other. Momentarily shaping it with his will, the Jedi sought to push the droid away from him or, more accurately, into something else. The Force swelled around Xenefious's hand and repelled the droid away from his body, the Jedi careful to avoid the sword in the droid's grip.

Lefty and Righty were walking towards the fight, their swords pointed toward the combat. Before they could react, however, the metal form of the training droid flew through the air towards them, the chest of the middle droid impaling itself on Righty's sword. The middle droid's eyes flickered in and out of existence for a few seconds before dimming for good. As Righty moved to drop his sword in favor of the sword held by the middle droid, Xene intervened by switching to Shii-Cho and severing the weapon arm of his opponent. He turned his attention to Lefty as he advanced and, after a few seconds of defensive swordplay, Xene again switched to Shii-Cho and utilized sai cha, beheading his droid opponent. With Righty still attempting to remove the sword from the grip of the middle droid, Xene simply removed the droid's other arm, rendering him useless.

The entire sequence had only taken a few minutes and, while Xene could have endured further attacks, he found himself sweating and panting and his limbs seemed heavier than normal. He deactivated his lightsaber and, with a single celebratory exhale, allowed himself to sit. The Initiate gathered the Force, using it to help calm him back to his pre-combat normal, though that would certainly take some time. With a slight chuckle, he smiled and looked up at his Master. "I shouldn't have jumped. I could have sidestepped and saved energy. I was trying to impress you, not survive, as Soresu dictates. I will do better next time."

@Valen Pelora

 

[Valen Pelora]

Valen carefully watched Xen engaged the droids. The young Initiate was skilled. There was certainly room for improvement but he hardly expected perfection from a teenager. He was confident the boy could hold his own if it ever came to that. The droids were programmed to relatively match Xen’s skill level, and they would never mortally harm their target. Training droids were for just that, training. He made a mental note of where Xen could improve and what he would work on with the boy. He was far behind Sigal, but she had two years and too many battles on him. A small wave of regret crashed through him. He wished he could have kept Sigal from all of it. He laughed and approached Xen.

“You did very well.” He absentmindedly waved his hand, the Force lifting the droids and placing them in the corner. He took a deep breath and placed his hand on Xen. “Let’s see if we can’t patch that up.” The Lightside rushed through him. He felt the aches, pains, and a small wound, inflicted by the droids. A simple matter to mend. With the Lightside as his guide he quickly eased the aches, erased the pains, and stitched back together the side wound. He let go of the Force. He patted Xen’s shoulder.

“Much better.” He walked towards the door and motioned for the young Jedi to follow him. He started to walk towards the bridge of the Peacekeeper. “I want to show you something.” As they walked through the cold halls of the Jedi Flagship, he turned to the boy. “Tell me Xen, is there any questions you have for me. I have asked you a fair share of questions, you deserve the same.” He smiled at the young Jedi. He saw promise in the lad.

@Fyston

 

[Fyston]

As the General gathered the Force and began repairing the tissues, Xenefious realized that he had been holding his breath. Exhaling slowly, he felt immense relief as the General stitched his wound together with the Force. Adrenaline had blocked most of the pain, though there was a short window between when the adrenaline wore off and when the wound was completely healed. While the pain was much less as the Force dulled it, Xenefious hated the feeling of tissue forcing itself back together and couldn't help but wince.

With his wound healed, he nodded his thanks and nervously mumbled a few words of appreciation to his new Master. He cooled down and began to relax from his spar with the droids, the Initiate falling back into the nervous yet eager-to-please introvert that he was. The Initiate raised his brow and cocked his head to the side slightly, his curiosity clearly piqued. He had not had much time to explore the vessel with the exception of what he needed to examine to fix the problem with the electrical system. He stood and trotted along until he fell in step with Valen, the boy automatically putting himself slightly behind and to the side of the elder Jedi.

His eyes never stopped moving as he examined every detail that he could. He made sure to note every turn that they made and counted the paces of each corridor, taking care to write the numbers on his hand with a pen to ensure that he would not get lost in the sheer vastness of the ship. While he could ask a crewman or another Jedi, that was tantamount to torture for the Initiate and he would rather wander than feel like a blubbering child. As he walked alongside the General, though, and the elder Jedi spoke, the boy pondered briefly and put his thoughts into order. "W-w, uhh, what can I do better, G-g-eneral Velora? I know that I need to imp-improve and I, uhh, I want to begin as soon as p-p-possible." Pausing for a second, though not long enough to make it known that he was waiting for a response, the Initiate continued. "H-have you ever lost a Pada-err, Initiate? I k-k-know I'm not, err, supposed to ask it b-but I, err, just...." Xenefious's voice trailed off as he realized he had likely made a huge social blunder. Rather than looking around and examining every detail, the boy's eyes fell to the floor just in front of him and his mind focused on counting the paces as they walked.

@Valen Pelora

 

[Valen Pelora]

Valen listened carefully to Xen. The young Jedi was certainly curious and ambitious. He was thrilled the boy was interested in improving. He didn’t want to push Xen too hard. There would be a careful balance between helping Xen improve and overworking the Initiate. He had managed to strike that balance with Sigal, but the Hapan had not shared the zest for learning. Sigal’s training had moved slower because of the unique challenges. Valen would need to make adjustments. It was always about adjustments. First, he needed Xen to calm down.

“I will let you in on a little secret, one passed down to me from my master.” He stopped, turned, and looked at Xen. “Relax. This is only the beginning. You will make mistakes and I will correct them. There will be many mistakes but that is how we learn. Deep breathes and relax. We are in this together.”

He turned and kept walking. They were close to the bridge of the Peacekeeper now. He was mulling over the second question. He had never lost a student. He had come close, more than he cared to admit. He promised he would always be truthful with Xen. He would not break that promise.

“You are my third student. Thankfully, I have never lost a student. By some grace of the Force I have not had to face that horrible reality.” Only a few more turns to the bridge. “There have been close calls. Far too many, but that is part of this war. There are risks. Always.” The massive durasteel doors slid open. He stepped onto the bridge. Rangers saluted, Jedi bowed. He still wasn’t used to the deference. He waved a hand to send the crew back to work. The Peacekeeper was currently parked in unknown space. The lights of distance stars, and colors of planets was arrayed before them.

“Tell me. What do you see?” He waved at viewport.

@Fyston

 

[Fyston]

When Valen told him to relax, Xene couldn't help but feel conflicted. He knew that he was not perfect and that he had years of hard work to put in to ensure that he became a worthy Knight. On the other hand, mistakes were as antagonizing to the Initiate as swoop gangs were to law enforcement. Part of him understood that, as someone with less experience, he would make mistakes. The other part associated mistakes with physical pain, with funerals, and with future hardship. Xene's need to be perfect, to show no weakness and to make no mistakes, was the exact reason that the Initiate was a methodical thinker when playing wargames. It was the reason he had chosen Soresu, as he hoped to force his opponent to make an error before the Initiate did.

Even as the halves of his mind screamed at each other, the Initiate took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He imagined a series of circles with a dot sitting outside of the largest circle. With each breath, the Initiate 'watched' as the dot moved closer to the center. It was a technique that he used on Bandomeer when he needed to take a break and see a problem from another point of view. When the dot finally centered itself in the smallest of the circles, he released his last breath and opened his eyes. It was at this time that Valen finished his second statement, which further relaxed the young Jedi. He understood the risks that war carried and only hoped that his training could prevent a Jedi representative from visiting his parents in the future.

Having never been on a ship's bridge before, Xenefious's eyes explored every crevice, every viewscreen, and every crewmember with an almost extreme level of scrutiny. When he was little, he had imagined himself as an important crewmember on the bridge during an important battle. He had aspired to be a high-ranking officer in the Navy, though times had changed since then. Regardless, he wasn't immediately sure how to answer when Valen asked what he saw. Taking a deep breath and focusing on keeping the dot in the center of his mind, the Initiate spoke vastly slower than before, though more effectively enunciated his words and did not stutter. "I see a few feet of transparisteel that separate us from the vacuum of space. I see the lights and weapons arrayed below us that demonstrate that the power is working effectively and that the ship is always ready for action. I see the metal shell of the ship, further protecting us from harm. And yet, I also see the crewbeings who keep this ship running around the clock."

Taking a deep breath, the dot escaped from Xene's hold on it and the young Initiate returned to his normal ways. Turning to his Master and gauging his face for a non-verbal response, the Initiate spoke softly as if again worried. "W-what, err, d-do you see, M-m-Master?"

@Valen Pelora

 

[Valen Pelora]

Valen felt the young Jedi trying to center himself. He had never encountered such a nervous child. Sigal had been all bluster and confidence, Xen was the opposite. He could sense the self-doubt, the worry, the drive for perfection. There was a palpable fear of failure in the young Jedi. It was troubling and he would have to discover how deep the fear ran. No one could live a perfect life. Failure was part of learning and becoming a Jedi. Valen had made mistakes more times than he could count. He knew he would make more mistakes. He tried, desperately, to never make the same mistake twice. Learning saved lives. He listened to Xen explain what he saw. He smiled. The boy was nothing if no straightforward.

“What do I see?” He looked out at the thousands of star systems arrayed before them. He didn’t see the crew, or the ship. He saw the lives of a galaxy hanging in the balance. He could feel the Darkness creeping across the Light. “I see a hundred planets, with a thousand different peoples, all striving. Fighting. To live their lives. I see a galaxy on the edge, teeter tottering on the edge of Darkness. I see the Republic falling. I see the lives we must save. I see the lives we cannot.” He stepped forward, staring out at the expanse of space. “There is more to life that what is before us. More than what we see around us. You must learn to open yourself to the Force, open yourself to Light. You must see beyond.”

Valen looked around. Xen needed to fail, but he would not embarrass the boy on the bridge. There was a difference between teaching failure, and unnecessary cruelty. “Open yourself to the Force and tell me what you see.”

He breathed in deeply of the Force, letting the Light flow from him. It would make it easier on Xen to reach beyond his eyes. The Peacekeeper and Valen would give Xen every advantage.

@Fyston

 

[Fyston]

The fact that his Master had spoken of the Republic falling shocked the Initiate and he looked around briefly, wondering if anybody had heard the General express his beliefs. There is no way the Republic can fall, thought the Jedi. At the same time, he wasn't so sure. The Sith had been more aggressive and the Republic had a history of being sluggish to respond to change, as demonstrated by the rise of the Sith after the Jedi Civil War. Without the Republic, though, would the Sith not have a stranglehold on the galaxy? Such a state was not on the list of "Good things that can happen" that Xene kept in his mind.

As his Master finished speaking and encouraged Xene to reach out, the Initiate focused on the energy that flowed around him. He felt it surround him, as if a river of benevolent energy flowed around the Initiate, yet he purposefully isolated himself, putting himself on an island. To the Initiate, this was normal every time he accessed the Force. The island was small, yet to use the Force required him to walk from the center of the island rather than living in the currents as a normal Jedi would. In his mind, he grabbed the mental bucket that he used to gather the Force and he reached out with his mind.

Unfortunately, the Jedi could not see much past the bridge of the ship. He could only sense the general atmosphere, one of duty and patriotism amongst the Rangers and other personnel. He could feel the touch of his Master when he reached out, the experienced General's mind calming Xene and encouraging him. He knew that he couldn't just reach out as little as he had, as Xenefious knew that his Master would tell. The only way to progress was to actually submit to the Force. And so the Initiate walked forth from his mental island, lowering his defenses that prevented him from fully immersing himself in the Force.

All at once, the Force overwhelmed the Jedi. The sudden torrent of energy surprised Xene, who had not fully immersed himself in the power of the Force in some time. This isn't so bad, thought the Initiate, only to suddenly be caught off guard by a familiar nightmare, made ever more vivid by the Force and by the fact that he had no defenses to save him.

Bandomeer - 2 Standard Years Prior​

Here I am again, thought the Jedi as he looked around the familiar scene. He remembered every detail because he lived it almost every night. The family keepsakes on the wall, the hum of the stove as his mom made dinner. Xenefious felt his body move without commanding it to do so. Occasionally, he would dream that he could move of his own free will or change aspects to make it less painful and, rarely, he could wake up before it happened. Xene knew, however, that he would be unable to change anything. The Initiate had not seen the full, unaltered version since just after the incident.

The Initiate moved from the family room to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and the image astounded and confused him. The Xenefious that he looked at was much younger, obviously, but there were no bags under his eyes, no signs of weariness or lack of energy that the Jedi suffered from every day. There were no signs of being unable to sleep, of being petrified of making another mistake. The dream-Xene washed his hands in the refresher and Xenefious was shocked by the fact that the water no longer seemingly burned him. It was just as cool and refreshing as it was on that day. The grease, stubborn as ever, required more scrubbing than Xene remembered, though he normally didn't focus on this part.

As he finished, he dried his hands on a nearby towel and turned back towards the family room only to see the horrid scene that he couldn't get out of his head. Andut, kneeling down and picking up the silver cylinder that was Xene's lightsaber.
"Hey, X, you forg-," started the eldest brother, only to be cut off by an explosion.

Xene saw it in slow motion, as he always did. The initial blast blew off Andut's hands as the explosives inside the lightsaber hilt detonated. There was a sickening look of shock on Andut's face, the man not knowing what was happening. In real time, it would have been an instant, though this part always dragged on. Occasionally, Xene would remember and walk through the entire day. The shrapnel from the lightsaber hilt launched into Andut's body, piercing his head, neck, and torso with jagged silver shards. Pieces of the crystal penetrated Andut's lower abdomen.

The look of awe faded and Andut's face twisted with agony and then, along with his body, became limp. In slow motion, it crumpled to the floor and Xene spotted each individual wounds, though was never sure what the fatal wound was. He thought it was the shards that shredded his brain, though just as many had destroyed his internal organs and arteries.

What Xene hated most of all was that he could never change the outcome. The contorted, almost hateful look on Andut's face as he looked at Xene one final time. The crash from the kitchen as Xene's mother shattered a dish in her rush to see what had happened. The pure fear and anger that had washed over Xene at that time. With each mental defense, Xene had been able to shield himself, on some level, from the sheer hurt and pain, the agony, and the fact that each of those left a stain in the Force that Xene had to deal with every time he did more than simply jump or dodge an attack.


As if all at once, Xene snapped back to reality and yelled what he always woke up yelling. "NO," exclaimed the Jedi, reaching out and suddenly sinking to his feet. Realizing that he was back in reality, he stood and looked around nervously, eyeing everyone for any response. Slowly, he looked at his Master and, attempting to calm himself, relayed what he thought he should say. "I, uhh, s-s-saw a, err, l-l-life th-that coul-couldn't be, uhh, saved. I, uhh, al-also s-s-saw pl-pl-planets and ot-other s-st-stuff."

@Valen Pelora

 

[Valen Pelora]

Valen would not intrude on his student’s meditation. He could catch glimpses of what flashed through a mind if he focused. He would leave Xen to his thoughts. It was not what the boy saw, it mattered that he saw it. The Force was a Jedi’s most powerful ally. A constant companion through the most difficult times. Xen needed to learn to use the Force as an ally. Not a tool. An analytic mind had many uses but, there were some challenges Xen could not think himself out of. The boy needed to learn to trust the Force. Easy answers were hard to come by, even more so these days. Valen felt the emotional turmoil ripping through Xen. He did not intervene. There were some things you needed to feel.

He let the boy gather himself before he spoke. He was waiting. He knew a lie when he heard one. The crew continued about their work. They were all experienced Rangers and Jedi. Each of them had difficult moments in training or witnessed difficult moments. It was part of learning.

“No.” He turned and looked at Xen. His eyes met the boys. “The Force flows through me stronger than most on this ship. Did you think I could not sense the lie?” He would have the truth from Xen. It was deeply important Xen understood the full depth of what he had felt. “Tell me what you really saw.” This was the last step in his getting to know Xen. The training would progress in earnest from here on out.

@Fyston

 

[Fyston]

As soon as his eyes met those of his Master, Xene knew he was caught. He noticed a change in his Master's demeanor, though could not quite place it. Part of Xene wanted to flee, to leave the past in the past and to keep trying to bury the horrid memories that had resurfaced. And yet, at the same time, he was driven to answer, compelled by his Master's command. He knew that it was not the Force that commanded him, as he knew how Force-influenced persuasion worked. The sheer authority and knowing gaze cemented Xene's feet to the floor and, along with the weight of what he had just seen, made his entire body feel like it was made of iron. He could no more move a muscle than he could move a planet.

Nobody outside of his family knew what had happened and Xene had begged his parents to tell Dardan that it was an industrial accident. The Initiate and his older brother had been extremely close and, having already lost one sibling, Xene could not have fathomed losing another. He did not break eye contact and, while he did not stutter, he spoke in low tones, barely audible above the hum of activity that filled the bridge. "I killed my brother. I had gotten my hand on some nitroglycerin and other ingredients and had made a primitive bomb in my first lightsaber hilt in case someone stole it. Liquid nitroglycerin is extremely volatile unless desensitized and I hadn't done it properly. My brother picked up my hilt and it either worked as intended and recognized that he was not authorized or it malfunctioned and the nitro detonated everything else. Either way, my mistake killed him. He looked at me. I-I-I don't think I'll ever forget that look of betrayal and agony. My parents witnessed it and they try to hide their contempt, their hatred. I can feel it. I've stopped visiting Bandomeer because I can't bear to look at the spot where his body lay."

Looking up from where his gaze had fallen to the floor, Xene couldn't stop the flow of tears that had begun halfway through his explanation. Without giving his Master a turn to speak, he continued. "I saw that, like I do most nights. I had separated myself from the Force as much as possible because it allowed me to avoid seeing that gaze. I could look away in time or I was in another room and merely heard it happen. You're the only one who knows aside from my old Master. Please don't think worse of me, Master, I promise I won't make any more mistakes or get anyone killed. Please don't decide not to train me, I want to make up for my failings." Xene both verbally and non-verbally pleaded with his Master, fearful that he would respond negatively.

 

[Valen Pelora]

Valen was shocked by what poured out of Xen. What foolish Jedi had let the boy build a trap within his Lightsaber? Who had been responsible for monitoring the boy’s training. Who had let him go home where he might injure someone? The questions flashed through his mind in an instant. They didn’t matter. The answers to his questions had died when Tython died. What mattered now was what he was going to do with Xen. Valen understood why the young Jedi was closed off. Suddenly, it was all clicking into place. He knew what he had to do. He knew what Xen needed. He crouched down slightly so he was more of a height with Xen.

“I will not tell a soul. Of course, I am still going to train you. What happened was a tremendous tragedy, one you will carry for the rest of your life.” He stood up and patted the young Jedi on the shoulder. “There is much for you to learn. Even more I can teach you. We still start immediately but you are going to make mistakes. You can’t let those mistakes define you. You can’t let fear of those mistakes bind you. That is your first lesson.”

He knew where they needed to go. There was nothing more they could accomplish on the Peacekeeper. They needed to go out into galaxy, the best place to learn a lesson. He pulled his commlink from his robes and quickly pressed a series of buttons. Alara’s voice rang through from the other end.

“Sir?”

“Alara, prepare the Puddle Jumper. We will be leaving shortly.”

“Yes sir, where are we headed?”

“Ryloth.” He turned back to Xen. “Gathering your things and meet me in hangar bay 3 in fifteen minutes. It is time to get off this ship.” He turned and headed towards his trusty Republic-Class Consular Star Yacht.

@Fyston