Painus

Received an email advertising that it's dress season and to show some leg. Guess I've gotta buy a skirt for my suit now. USMA'll love me.

I holler, "What you do? What you say?" I shall enjoy the fruits of my labor if I get freed today.

My hood goin' brazy, where did we go wrong? World is goin' brazy, where did we go wrong? It's a tidal wave, it's a thunderdome.

Fun fact: The Great Wall of China is the single largest man-made structure that can be seen from the Great Wall of China. The more you know!

Would it be grossly irresponsible to airdrop a bus of kindergarten kids in Jurassic Park? Kids love dinosaurs.

Calculus? More like "Bane of my existence"-ulus.

Life is like a movie, and I'll be the director.

I'm still slightly deafened from shooting so many various firearms today. I love it.

Do you think sea cucumbers would be interested in organized religion?

The Falcon 9 rocket carrying the SES-9 comms satellite launched today.

Tfw you see an alert and get mildly excited, only to realize it was an alert that your sub account just posted a reply to a thread you watch

when you log on to like 467854 alerts responding to your status about how you always log in to 0 alerts

You guys complain about not being able to post because you're tired, I complain about not posting because I'm too lazy to get in more RPs.

when you log on to no alerts because you have no friends

join my madden mobile league fam

Leo DiCaprio just won his Oscar.

#SamperLAVED

My dad can beat up your dad.

Gonna be out of town today and tomorrow; I know, you're heartbroken. I'll get over it, though.