Ask Mandallian Mayhem

[Z'Kair]

It was a wonder they landed on Mandallia without getting taken out by Mandos. Everyone heard about the incident where a ship full of Emryc Throne supporters were shot down when they entered Mando space. The landing was done, and now the hunt was on. This job had a massive payout and some street cred with Nor’baal the Hutt. That also meant it was notoriously difficult to accomplish as everyone else had failed.

“-Fucking bounty on your ass,” Kai was grumbling as they cruised in a speeder truck that was supposed to have room to hold two of the giants. The space in the back was cleared out. They each had a job to do to bring down the giants and Kai brought a whipcord launcher and also a dart supposedly dipped in sedative. Of course, the serum wasn’t tested and he had to bank on the word of some shady, black market seller. Kai was also supposed to be the bait to lure the giant and hopefully have the others do the rest of the work.

Currently he was in the process of grumbling about their misfortunes, addressing Blue about his bounty which now meant a target was on them. Kai looked over at the others, “Okay, Butters and Flexo will be in charge of hoisting them after I lure the fucker out,” He looked at Blue, “You’re getaway driver. Any questions?”

He slapped his face from a mosquito bite, already in a bad mood. Kai wasn’t sure why these giants were ‘hard to find’ when they were as tall as trees and burly enough to put Flexo to shame.

@Fine Dining Set @Xorism @Mr. Teatime

 

[Zhaan Duran]

"Look," the Chiss currently known as Blue intoned from the driver's seat, speaking around a lit cigar that billowed smoke from under his hat, "It's not my fault Corps are born with a standard-issue three-stamped rod rammed right into their lower colon." Besides, that guy had it coming. Who tries to fistfight a Mando?

The target was a problem, though. Maybe he could just pay it off. Troubles for another time.

"None here, Captain Claw," Duran answered, in reference to the Fiani's- well, claws, and also a classic side-scrolling video game featuring a foxlike pirate captain. It was a work in progress. He leaned over toward the scanning equipment and switched it on. Then he open-hand slapped the scanner a couple times. "Either the swamp here's full of interference or this thing's just shit. I'll see if I can get it workin'."

@Sreeya @Xorism @Fine Dining Set

 

[Doorcuttah]

Without further ado, da big hunt was on! Door wasn't entirely convinced that there were in fact critters bigger than he was. Well, so long as you excluded a Hutt as the king of girth, but there weren't many that he would look up to.

Since joining the crew, the large and happy Orcolan had been quite busy adapting to working in a team instead of a simple duo. As the designated team medic, it was important that he was well-prepared to handle all kinds of situations. Kept safe in a small bag on his hip, Butters kept team member specific medical care bundles that he could rapidly deploy in case of emergency.

A handful of ciggys and spare eye patch for the captain, freshly dried Fungazi and Orcolan strength Emergy cans for the bros and of course, blue paint for the Chiss to cover up any injuries he had. After all, if you couldn't see them, they didn't exist.

Slurping on a can of his own, Butters slapped a pair of these bad boys down on the ground in front of Flexo and another before himself with excited determination. "Okay, so hear me out. These are soundium™ weaved and make it impossible for Giants to hear you because the gator swallows the sound."

With a wide grin, he was certain of this, but perhaps Flexo needed more convincing.

@Sreeya @Mr. Teatime @Fine Dining Set

Roll: 10

 

[Chef HoloFlex]

Flex had a decidedly different approach to stealth. Buzzed on Emergy and generally dumb, he first reached for the blue paint and coated himself in it, followed by the Air Gator 10s that Core Buttah had so generously supplied. Now dripping with blue paint wearing alligator socks, he gave a thumbs up to the group. "Don't worry. I've been on a cut lately. I'm a lot more lean." He flexed rows of blue abs to accentuate the point.

Kap'n Klaw had agreed to be bait for this mission. Inspiring. A true leader leads from the front. But from what Flex had heard about these giants, the whole venture gave him pause. By the name of Orsimer, it would be a real pain to get them. Weren't they Mandalorians, too? Images of 10-foot tall giants, clad in beskar, descending out of the sky filled his mind.

Okay, that would be really cool. Maybe, instead of giving one to the Hutt, they could just gang-press him into the crew. On the other hand, he needed the credits. His latest plan to convert the shield generator room into a bottling plant for Emryc Energy had been a costly failure, plunging him deep into debt to fund the repairs. That, coupled with the incident in corporate space had further tanked his delicate brand. He needed this job.

He heaved a sack of snacks and a butcher knife, splattering blue paint on each surface he touched. He was, however, surprisingly quiet as he stepped. Maybe Butters was on to something.

@Sreeya @Mr. Teatime @Xorism
roll: 15/20

 

[Z'Kair]

They arrived at a drop off location. Kai saw the footwear Butters produced and then he watched Flexo cover himself in paint. Blue paint. The Fiani was perplexed at this display, blinking slowly at the chef, “Are you pretending to be one of the giants? Because they’re green,” He said. Too late. He pinched the bridge of his nose before making his way towards their alleged caves. They had to trek through forests to get there.

“I wonder if we can look for piles of shit,” Kai said as they started moving, “Something that size has gotta leave a giant pile of poodoo, right?” He asked. It sounded like a logical method of tracking giants. Were they sentient? That would pose a problem. He imagined them just casually squatting and doing their business all over these valleys and leading right back to their caves.

A quick glance at Flexo showed that the humidity was doing wonders in combination with the paint. Kai shook his head, chuckling to himself.

“Butters, tell us something we don’t know about you.”

@Mr. Teatime @Fine Dining Set @Xorism

 

[Doorcuttah]

Testing out the quality of the stealth socks, Butters strolled with confidence and swagger. Amazingly, it seemed to work, although he was walking along with his hands covering his ears as this was the best way to reduce the sound.

Just barely catching what the fox said, he suddenly stopped with amazement. "Wait! I'm green." The wooden gears in his mind slowly beginning to turn. "Oh my gosh, I'm a dwarf giant!" Like an excited child at an amusement park, butters skipped along looking for his next of kin.

Walking through the forest wasn't exactly going to be easy for the massive dwarf, but butters was determined not to let the krew down. Suddenly the captain sprung him a question that seemed out of the blue, well it was out of the captain and not the blue. He'd not yet said anything since they had come from the ship and to be honest butters wasn't entirely sure what blue was but considering he was a primary colour that probably meant he was important. Wait, what did the captn say again?

Oh, right.

"Mm well." He pondered, deep in thought.

"I always wanted to be an opera singer, but my parents couldn't afford to send me to a proper school. So instead, I just helped out around the farm until I was old enough to work on my own." The dreams of his youth were many cycles ago but maybe someday, he quietly thought.

Pointing to bluey, he asked the same question. "What about you?"

@Sreeya @Mr. Teatime @Fine Dining Set

 

[Chef HoloFlex]

Flex had indeed thought the Mandillian giants were blue. However, embarrassed by his failure, he chose to sidestep his captain's obvious annoyance by ignoring it altogether. "Blue is a sneaky color."

Flex almost wept when he heard Floor Nutter story about wanting to be an opera singer. He was already blue on the outside - would he be blue on the inside now, too? He place a painted arm around DoorCuttah's shoulder, nodding passionately as he empathized with his krewmate.

"Mmm. I feel you. That's why we're here, man. Get enough money to say 'frag the world.'" He patted the massive orc on the chest. "I guarantee after we score this giant, we'll get you back in opera lessons, Sore Shutters." Flex took a moment to scan their environment. Not being a proficient tracker or scanner, he spotted nothing. Not being terribly keen, he thought this meant they were on the right track. He continued to trudge forward, through, searching for a sign of Mandallian life.

Flex came upon a stump. It was covered in moss. Peculiar. As he poked at it, he reminisced, thinking of some strange fact he could share with his brotherly circle. It was a powerful bond, to share their deepest, most inner vulnerabilities. Such emotional courage is what made Captain Kodi such an exemplary leader. Wow. Flex saluted. "You guys know I work out a lot." His room was little more than a gym. "But did you know, I shattered my spine when I was 15? I went the natural road for recovery, no cybernetics." He patted his lower back. "I was wrestling a big fish on Mon Cala. You know how they have big fish, right? So I catch one. Only, it was one of those mutant poison fish. After Zaa Fenn poisoned the waters, I guess that happened to a lot of fish. So it had real muscular arms. It suplexed me in the ocean onto a rock. Nasty work. Had to do a lot of physical training to get where I am today." He paused. He felt like he had lost the moral of the story. "And that's why I work out."

"What about you?" He asked, passing the proverbial talking stick to the next party member.

@Mr. Teatime @Xorism @Sreeya

 

[Zhaan Duran]

Zhaan listened to what had become sneaky storytime. Who woulda guessed Butters wanted to be an opera singer, after all? He certainly had the lungs for it. Lookingup from the scanner he finally noticed Flexo was blue. "Hey now, don't go stealin' my thunder, man. Blue and flyin's all I got," he chortled good-naturedly before impatiently banging against the side of the sensor pack. Another look up caught the expectant glances of the others.

Oh, right. Story time. He had some of those.

"Well..." Duran smugly flicked his hat. "I'll have ya know I was basically raised by pirates. Way out in the unknown regions. How ya think I fly so good, eh?" At first it kinda just seemed like he was bragging, at least before he cleared his throat uncomfortably and added, "I'll miss 'em. Y'all woulda liked Big Red and Three-Armed Jack." Then he slapped Flexo on the back- somewhere without paint- and glanced around at the others.

"Now I've got y'all though, right? Good you've still got you're spine, mate." His eyes turned to their kleptomaniac Captain Claw formerly known as Kodi with the same sense of expectation. Claw didn't talk about themselves all too much and Duran was kinda curious.

@Sreeya @Fine Dining Set @Xorism

 

[Z'Kair]

Opera singer was not an aspiration Kai would have expected from Butters. Sure the guy had some pipes on him for general yelling, but opera? He stared at the orcolan with morbid fascination until Flexo told his story. He couldn’t imagine anyone suplexing Flexo of all people, and it showed that he wasn’t as invincible as he appeared. Then Blue shared his story and the expression alone hinted that there was more to those attachments than he let on.

All of them had one thing in common with their stories - they were deep vulnerabilities. They may have just breezily brushed on it, but all of those stories had meaning that was buried under layers. Kai knew the question would turn on him and he tried to play it off at first. However, he saw all three pairs of eyes on him. For a moment he looked across each of them - Butters with his buggy eyes and parrot, Blue with his red eyes (why were his eyes so damn red? Kai had never seen a Pantoran like that) and Flexo with his face starting to melt from the humidity.

“My mother.. Is enslaved in Hutt space,” He said quietly. His story was not funny or absurd, it was simply dark. But it had the same traits of the other stories - it was a source of his vulnerability, “I’ve been in this game trying to buy her back,” Kai said, his ears flattening as he looked at the others. It was a truth he never bothered sharing with others. However, as he looked at them, he knew theirs was a bond that wouldn’t break so easily. They would have many trials and tribulations to face together. And Kai trusted them to know details about him just as he did about them.

There would be a moment where they either stood in silence or offered responses to what he said. Regardless, Kai cleared his throat and looked over at Butters as a stroke of genius hit him at once, “Butters,” He began very seriously, “How do you feel about giving your best opera solo performance and see if it starts bringing the giants out?”

@Xorism @Mr. Teatime @Fine Dining Set

 

[Doorcuttah]

A genuine sense of pride filled Butters' chest as he listened closely to each and every deep and meaningful revelation that the krew revealed. A tender moment among komrades, and possibly a great moment to consider changing his major to psychotherapy.

Although certainly the bulking Orcolan would take it a little bit easier next time he considered slapping Flexo on the back, all things considered. Butters could easily imagine Mr Blue racing through the skies in a supa fast red fighter, dipping and twisting its way through danger. A curious thought entered his mind, prompting a question directed at him. "Have you ever done pod racing? It looks too fast for me, but maybe not for you?" He added, wondering aloud slowly. (@Mr. Teatime)

Then of course the revelation delivered by the captain himself hit the hardest. What a terrible burden that felt, weighing him down like an anchor. Fortunately, as a trained medical practitioner, butters was well-equipped to deal with trauma.

"Ah crumbs." He said, barely sure what to say nor what to do in the present. "You'll get her back, Capt." He added with a short smile, leaving it there.

Luckily for the group, the captain brought them back to the mission with a stellar idea! With a nervous chuckle and a snort, the excitable Orcolan clutched his shorts. "Oh well, I'm a little rusty, but I'll give it a go..."

What happened next, will shock you.

@Sreeya @Mr. Teatime @Fine Dining Set

 

[Zhaan Duran]

Duran abruptly gave Kai a firm slap on the back after his admission. The Fiani pirate captain's mom was in a tight spot. Duran never really knew his own, so he could only imagine what that felt like from similar things in his own life, but that wasn't gonna stop him any. "Don't you worry, Captain. We'll get her out," he added to what Butters said.

They couldn't just leave Mrs. Kodi in chains, now, could they?

And then Butters the Orcolan started singing opera. Duran was far from a man of that kind of culture but he could still tell when a singer was good at singing. He sort of just stared, first surprised and then genuinely impressed as the sound rang through the jungle trees. The Chiss'd been right, Butters certainly had the lungs for it.

Somewhere in the middle of it, Duran's sensor equipment started beeping an alert and he looked down. "Wait, hold on- we've got somethin' big movin' toward us." Zhaan almost couldn't believe the Orcolan's serenade had actually drawn something out. What were the chances of that?

"From that way," he added, pointing in a direction. "Looks like just one." This was about the time he started toward cover. Though he was a damn good pilot, brawling with giants was definitely not his forte. Duran had guns and gear for all that.

@Sreeya @Fine Dining Set @Xorism

Spoiler: Dice Rolls

1d20+1 sensors, 20/20 total. 1d3=1 number of giants

 

[Chef HoloFlex]

As the heavenly sound of Gore Lover's voice carried into the hills, the entire landscape responded. Birds in trees responding with their own song, adding a symphonic collection of the galaxy's most beautiful voices. It was almost enough to drive Flex to tears. In fact, it was enough. Flex began to weep at the beautiful music, thick, salty tears pouring through his blue face paint. He continued to listen, on the edge of his seat, as he began to hear the thundering steps of the Mandillian giant towards them.

Feet so powerful, the entire forest swayed with each step. But, there was a pattern to them, a rhythm. The giant erupted into a loud cough, pounding its chest several times, before pausing at a clearing. It lowered its jaw, turned its face to the sky, and joined DoorCuttah in song. The beautiful, elegant tongue of the Mandillian Giants began to pour forth, the sheer size of the singer projecting his beautiful, mournful hymn across the forest.

Flex was reminded, in this moment, of all he had gained and lost. He had committed himself to a life on the run, on the fringes of society as a criminal, by joining with this crew. And yet, listening to the beautiful song of Orc and Giant here on Mandilia, learning the personal motivation that drove his captain to pirating, working deeply with this beautiful crew...he felt entirely at home.

He resolved then to a steadfast loyalty to the Krewe. This group, these common scum, would be the greatest pirates to set sail upon this galaxy. They would free Kai's mother from the shackles of bondage. And this would be the first step - capturing the Mandilian.

Though it felt like a shame to deliver a creature with such a beautiful voice to someone so loathsome as Nor'Baal the Hutt.

Flex wiped tears, snot, and paint from his face and moved into position, through the woods towards the giant. All the meanwhile, he kept his comically overlarge potato sack ready, hoping to ambush the giant with the old sack-on-the-head trick. It would be flawless.

@Sreeya @Mr. Teatime @Xorism

 

[Z'Kair]

Kai couldn’t help but smile at the sentiments of his crew. They were all from different walks of life, some of them were downright weird or had shit for brains, but damn they were quickly becoming a little family. They were his ride or die, and he knew he would risk anything to bail one of them out if they were in trouble.

The singing worked out beautifully, and he was stunned at the talent Butters showed. He decided not to interject with a smart quip, which was out of character for him. The Fiani was mesmerized by the singing, gently patting Flexo on the back as he sobbed his tears and paint away. Kai heard Butters’ voice begin to change and stared stupidly for a few seconds before he realized it was a giant. He cursed and quickly drew out his dart gun, hoping against hope the thing wasn’t janky. For all he knew, the serum could be akin to a steroid boost or some bullshit.

Kai took aim and fired, impressed at himself for landing the dart directly in the giant’s neck. At first the giant stopped singing and growled, batting near his neck as if bitten by a mosquito. Kai took a few steps back, starting to panic.

“Uh guys..” He began, but only moments before the giant fell forward with a giant thud that shook the ground. Kai blinked a few times. The giant was completely out cold and would remain that way until he was actively roused again. The Fiani stared at his dart gun, eye widening, “IT WORKS!” He jumped up and down a few times in victory.

“BAG THE MOTHERFUCKER! IT’S PAYDAY, BOYS!”

Roll: 19/20 to dart the fucker

@Mr. Teatime @Xorism @Fine Dining Set

 

[Doorcuttah]

After finishing what may have been the green Orcolan's greatest performance yet, bellowed out and all emotional from watching his komrades come all around in support of one another. Seeing Flexo join in on the singing, followed by the wondrous giant, who not only joined in but also presumably collapsed before them in utter appreciation and love for the Oroclan's talents. That was the last straw holding in the emotional dam before tears of joy began pouring down butters face.

Butters wrapped his arm around Flexo, smile-crying. "So very beautiful, brother!! If this pi-rat business dries up, we could go on tour together, for sure."

Walking over to where the giant had fallen, Butters hurriedly looked over the massive creature now with distraught in his eye. "I forgot to pack medical supplies for the big guy! Ah, crumbs." Even trying his best to be prepared, he had forgotten a critical component and thus clearly needed more training in order to be a more professional team medic.

Thus, there was only one suitable thing left to say in response. One thing that could calm his sensitive soul down before the worrying got to him.

"Does anyone know what time's lunch?"

@Sreeya @Mr. Teatime @Fine Dining Set

 

[Chef HoloFlex]

Flex helped Doorcuttah load the giant into the massive sack, dumping out all the snacks he had brought for this adventure. "You can take lunch now, Sore Flutter." Plastic-wrapped sandwiches and small jukeboxes sad on the grassy field. "That goes for the rest of y'all, too. Feel free to have a bite. I'll work on loading our friend up."

The plan had worked out beautifully. Nor'Baal the Hutt would soon have an opera singing giant join his court, and the Krewe would be joined with a ludicrous number of credits. But still, the idea of a life of servitude for this golden-tongued giant did not sit right with Flex. It was one thing to rob people, even to kill, to survive. Profiting off of sentient tracking was a bridge not yet crossed - what scars would it leave on their moral psyche? Perhaps these were the wrong kinds of ponderings for a vain pirate-gymrat to have, but as he stuffed the giant in the sack, he still thought about it.

While he worked, he opened his mind to the group. "I dunno, Kaptain Kai." He tightened the burlap around the giant's form, producing a length of rope to tie off the opening. "Fellas. What if we're selling this guy, and it's just like the situation with your mother? We've got an opera singing giant..." He shrugged, shoulder muscles rippling as the knot around the bag tightened. "Maybe we shouldn't sell him. Maybe he could be like...our brand ambassador. Emryc Energy Presents: The Mandillian Baritone."

Eventually, the sack was knotted - the giant fully stuffed into the sack. Flex moved to drag the front, and motioned for Door Cutter to help him. He was a loyal member of the Krewe, first, and would do his job in spite of any ethical obligations. That had to put themselves first, after all.

 

[Zhaan Duran]

Duran hadn't really considered the whole 'kidnapping and slavery' angle. But then, the Chiss had been raised by a band of arguably vicious criminals. Brothers, sisters, and siblings all but, all the same, they'd very much been pirates.

On the other hand, slaves with useful skills were often freed and invited onto pirate crews. Hmm. Zhaan looked on as the big, muscle-y Orcolans sacked up the giant, eating snacks all the while. "Well, y'know... How much we gettin' paid for this, anyway? Assumin' we could even convince an opera-singin' giant of the pirate's life. Yo ho 'n' yar har, 'n' all, but who's to say they won't jus' kick us like a series of huttballs?" He shrugged with both arms. "On the other hand, that's a lotta fuckin' muscle and a whole lotta bass for barbershop quartet day."

He looked over at Captain Klaw to figure it out. Duran just piloted stuff, man, this morality stuff wasn't really his bag of lothcats. "Watcha thinkin', Cap?"

@Sreeya @Fine Dining Set @Xorism