Tabloid When Wookies fly: the bizarre attempt by the Jedi to save them ends in tragedy

Lîsabé Hanivel

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When Wookies fly: the bizarre attempt by the Jedi to save them ends in tragedy


Hello, darlings! I'm back with the best news of the Galaxy! Recently, the Sith Empire had attacked Kashyyyk. As many of you at home know, the world is full of forests and during the attack, part of it was bombarded, setting several trees on fire. Now the fire is spreading across the planet. It's estimated that the fire will soon consume 80% of the vegetation in the world. The forest covered planet will soon become a coal covered planet!

However, it wasn’t the worst part. There are several attempts to evacuate the Wookies. The ISCRA is already there helping with it. The Jedi also came to Kashyyyk seeking to help too, but they are only bringing more pain for the poor fur covered sentients. There are shocking images of them ordering a monkey to strap Wookies with vines outside of a ship that they left to space. The poor sentients died in the vacuum!

Aren’t the Jedi the defenders of the life? How they didn’t know that the Wookies aren't capable to survive in the space? Why are they asking a monkey to do it? A monkey! It seems that they need better professors and psychologists on their Temples!

After these events, several protests against the Jedi are happening in Coruscant. A large crowd is gathered in the Senate Plaza. With this event, the Anti-Force Association, a group that is know for being against both Jedi and Sith, had once again petitioned the New Republic Senate to make a registration of Force users. They say that these individuals are a risk to society and are out of control.

Meanwhile, others blame Grandmaster Alexandria Voran for this tragedy. Since she became the leader of the Order, the Jedi became involved in several controversies and scandals. From her own affair with the deceased Chancellor Ro to the failures in protecting planets of the Sith.

Now, many consider this event in Kashyyyk the last straw and show that she has no control over her Order. Perhaps the centenary Grandmaster is finally succumbing to dementia due to her old age and she should be taken off her position before the Jedi lose all control and finally destroy the Galaxy!
 
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