Ask Ajan Kloss What was Lost

Indy Sati

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Indyana could never forget that feeling of helplessness.

A green blade blazed brilliantly to life, as she swung it down hard in a smooth left-to-right arc, eyes focused ahead.

That brokenness at seeing them turn away from her. Max. Felix.

Another swing hummed as she backpedaled, then struck forward again, a feint then a hard thrust up, to the right.

The confused happiness-relief-sorrow that burned in her chest when both Roland and Hannibal took her hands and refused the call of the Forgotten Witch. Having to leave her companions behind. Max especially. Even now, she felt cold thinking about what could have happened, and what had. What darkness had been unleashed. But there were few things the Jedi Knight regretted; fulfilling her promise to save them from their compulsion.

But she had to talk to Max. Something that pressed on her mind for some while.

Sweat dripped down her neck, long hair unplaited and in traditional robes once more.

She had time to relax, smooth her mental feathers. Hopefully he would come.


@Nefieslab
 

Maxims Tionson

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Being a Jedi Master meant that you were expected to have a degree of emotional maturity that the Padawans and, even, the Knights lacked. It meant that you did things you were uncomfortable with because they were for the best, because they needed to be done and because being comfortable never trumped doing what was right.

Didn't just mean the big things either.

Something he learned during the transition period from being a Knight to being a Master was that the Big Picture wasn't really a big picture - it was more like a mosaic made from an infinite number of smaller pictures. The Force bound people together in ways that no Jedi could truly ever Know in their entirety and that no one should ever really try to know entirely. No, the small pictures needed looking after or else the big picture was warped.

Wasted.

So rather than focusing on The Entity or The Forgotten, Max didn't do much when he got back to the Temple outside of making sure that the people who cared about him knew that he was back to normal, that he was alright. His fellow Masters accepted it easily enough but the hard part was what came next.

Without meaning to, and without full control, he had hurt someone he cared deeply about and that needed addressing. He could bury his head in the sand but that would be easy. Comfortable. And the easy and the comfortable, in this instance especially, were not what was right. So instead of avoiding her, Max made his way to Indy, to where she was training as she thought. Her mind was going a mile a minute and that was just what little he could pick up when he was actively cloaking his presence in the Force.

He sat down silently on a bench at the side of the room, just out of sight, and waited for her to finish her current motion before speaking up.

"Hey Indy."


Max held up the two cups of coffee he had brought.

"I want to talk."



@Killa Ree
 

Indy Sati

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She whipped around at the voice, a frown on her lips and lightsaber held before her when she finally settled her gaze on Max. She hadn't sensed him there, nor heard him come in, and that only made her pause another moment longer before quietly deactivating her lightsaber and putting it away. At first, she simply stared at the Jedi Master, feeling her pulse slow and the heat die down before walking over, carefully blotting away at some of the sweat with a towel around her neck.

"Max," she greeted calmly as she crossed the room, then took the caf from him and nodding once. "Thanks."

She kept her features neutral, her emotions obscured as she held the hot drink carefully, taking a small sip. So he wanted to talk? There was some irony for them then, that was what she was working through to address herself. Golden eyes looked over the Master, brushing aside violet hair as she did.

"So what did you want to talk about?" No point in beating around the bush; she learned long ago that dancing around a subject never ended well, and no doubt he had as many things to say about Dathomir as she had. Best to hear him out first, though, rather than speak herself. There would be time enough for that yet.

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Maxims Tionson

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What did you say to someone who had saved you from your own choices when, in the end, you had been right to be afraid of what would happen if you hadn't done it?

"Thanks for coming back for me when I was busy making an arse of myself."


That felt like a good place to start.

He sipped at his coffee and enjoyed how utterly terrible it tasted. The Jedi Temple did not have good coffee and anyone who said otherwise was lying. Still, with enough milk and sugar it was bearable but only because it didn't so much taste of the coffee anymore.

Max let out a quiet sigh.

"I didn't want the last thing we mentioned of the whole event to be me reeling in the corner before walking off."
he admitted, "Out of sorts is a bit of an understatement but mostly still apt. The way it messed with me was subtle... it was like I couldn't disagree. Not like it forced me to agree so much as it focused my thoughts in a way that meant I couldn't see what I was doing as wrong."

He tugged at the exterior of the disposable coffee cup with his finger idly.

"It was a shite-show over there but what I saw... what I felt..."
he took another breath, "It's for later. For right now? I just wanted to make sure we're okay cus I feel like I... well I let you down."


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Indy Sati

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As he spoke, she bowed her head. She heard him speak with silence, staring down at the lukewarm cup in her hands, his words hanging in the air, around her thoughts. When he was done, she paused for a few minutes more, marshaling her thoughts together. She swallowed once, then sighed.

"You did," she finally spoke up, her voice slightly hoarse. "I should've been able to stop you somehow, stop Felix, but I grabbed Roland and Hannibal first." The veil dropped a little bit from her emotions; regret staining the atmosphere. Yet still she didn't look up. "Yet you just... gave in. After all that talk about the Force, about what we stood for... it hurt seeing you turn away." She swallowed hard again, closing her eyes briefly.

"I looked up to you, but I couldn't just... leave you there, Max,"
she said quietly, yet she finally looked up at him, then sighed. "I couldn't just leave behind the one person I consider a brother and true friend. It... hurt... when I had to leave," she confessed quietly, giving him a glance. "We're okay. I just... need time. Please."

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Maxims Tionson

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Yeah sometimes being perceptive and self-aware enough to pick up your own failings in situations meant disappointment. He had known he had disappointed her but, a small part of him, had hoped that he would be wrong and she would view him the same way. It had always been a pipe dream and he had known it so he wasn’t going to wallow in confirmation of his own shortcomings.

Being a Jedi meant that a shortcoming was just a goal to be overcome and that was how he would deal with it.

“We made our decisions, Indy. You not being able to stop us doesn’t make any part of it your fault.”
He wanted to reassure her, “Truth of the matter was that I wanted to see what The Forgotten had to show us. My curiosity wouldn’t let me take the more passive route and that’s something I’ll need to work on.”

He smiled faintly.

“Always got to find out what the threat is and run toward it… thought I’d grown out of that but I guess some parts of being an officer never leave you. Run toward the dangerous thing even when you probably shouldn’t.”
he acknowledge his own failing, “And I found what I always knew I was going to find – the big bad problem I’m always looking for. But I only made it back because of you.”

Time.

If he was younger and more naïve about the ways of people he would have been, perhaps, frustrated that apologizing didn’t fix everything. It rarely did. An apology and understanding helped, oh it helped so very much, but it was time that did the actual healing of a relationship. So instead of showing any kind of annoyance when she requested time he just smiled a little bit and nodded slightly.

“However long we need.”


We.

This wasn’t all on her and he wouldn’t put it all on her. A relationship was a two-way street and that went for repairing one as well. He made a motion to pat her on the shoulder reassuringly but pulled back instead, not sure if she was there yet. Instead he just nodded and made to stand.


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Indy Sati

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Just before he stood, her voice came out, tremulous, soft.

"It's my fault, isn't it?"

If he would look, he would see she had set the coffee cup aside, fingers laced together. The pressure was so tight, the knuckles were nearly white, her features taut with restrained emotion.
"That... whatever it was. The Entity unleashed. I shouldn't have let Hannibal with me... I could have stopped it from happening."

When she finally looked up at him, her eyes were bright, throat aching.
"I failed the Order and the Jedi way by being selfish. It's not your fault, but... I just couldn't leave you behind. I was so afraid that I would have failed you. I'm so sorry, Max." One tear slipped free, but she hastily brushed it away, exhaling shakily. "It's all my fault."

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Maxims Tionson

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Huh.

He didn't think he would need to have this conversation with someone as sensible as Indy but that was alright, it made her less perfect and more human. Coming from someone who had eaten his own share of humble pie, Max wasn't about to fault her for it so he just listened to her. Max got the feeling that she just needed to speak about it, to have him listen to her and fully hear her out rather than just wave it away like some others would.

She felt it was worth mentioning so he wasn't about to belittle her decision to do so or her feelings about how important it really was. So Max listened and he watched as a tear came to her eye.

Then he gently poked her on the nose and smiled at her.

"Boop."
He leaned in to rest his forehead against hers, "We can both be screw ups in different ways I suppose but Indy... you have failed no one. Not being willing to sacrifice your fellow Jedi is a GOOD trait, not a bad one, and I don't know of any argument that could be made otherwise."

He did place his hand on her shoulder this time, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"You didn't know and you didn't fail, you did exactly what a good Jedi, a good person, should do."
he smiled wider, "Besides even if The Entity is a thing - that just means we'll have to go kick it's arse. Which we can do together; because you came back."


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Indy Sati

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Of course he was going to be kind about it, and just so... so... good. It wasn't fair, she was trying to not always be strong and yet here he was boosting her again. She gave him a watery smile, then sighed, rubbing at her forehead. "Well... there was more than one reason why I was waiting to talk to you," she spoke quietly, looking up at his own lone eye in a steady gaze.

"I found an ancient artifact and I... think I can't handle it alone," she confessed, cheeks coloring in embarrassment. "If it is what I think it is... I might have to have the council weigh in on this, but I wanted to talk to you about it first. If you're up to it."

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Maxims Tionson

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Well their conversation not being entirely dominated by such a heavy subject was a surprise but a welcome one to be sure. He just nodded to let her know that he was listening and for her to go ahead and tell him what she wanted to talk about. Of course what she brought up was... not what he expected.

To go hunting for something deep, dark and spooky so soon after their last encounter left them so shaken? It could be something of a mistake but, also, it kind of made sense as well. They were Jedi and they couldn't afford to be scared of doing something just because of the past or what might happen in the future. The moment they let fear or their own past hinder them from doing their duties as Jedi, was the moment they were no longer fit to be Jedi.

"I think this sounds like a great idea."
he told her with an honest grin, "Running into a tomb and raiding it of all it's goodies for the Greater Good and all that? Maybe returning some priceless artifacts to museums where they can be admired by all?"

He smirked slightly.

"It's very 'you', Indy that's for sure. Tell me more about this ancient artifact of yours."



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Indy Sati

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She snorted at his comment of putting it into a museum, and rolled her eyes slightly. Her smile was more steady now, and wryly amused. But at least things were starting to become okay between them; out of most in the Order, she and Max had been through enough together. She could trust him with this discovery.

"Roland and I had already found it..." she began quietly, eyes dropping. "But touching it..." she paused, then flicked her gaze back up. "This artifact... it's too powerful, too Dark to be left in any public hands. And... I need to purify it. If it's what I think it is... it's almost as old as the origin of the Order itself." She hesitated, then nodded.

To the left of the bench was a small box. In the box nestled the hilt, almost as she had found it. Even from this distance, there was a tinge of Darkness. Like a small stain upon the Light that dwelled here.
"I need your help and advice."

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Oh?

"So you mean I don't need to delve into an ancient ruin?"
he sighed in a very exaggerated way, "There go my plans for the weekend I suppose."

Still, beneath the layer of jokes he was entirely serious as he listened to what she actually had to say. And what she had to say was rather intriguing. He raised an eyebrow and moved his gaze from his friend to the box she had left it. From this distance he couldn't really tell anything about it so he stood from the bench and moved closer to it, bending to place a hand atop of it's surface.

Almost immediately the Dark Side surged forward like some kind of barely retrained canine.

But Max just let it try and batter it's way through both the box and his own strength in the Light. It was not a weak object but not touching it directly definitely lowered the amount of force it could exert on him. He sat back down after that, taking a sip of his coffee and speaking only after a moment of thought.

"Alright I'll bite - what you got in the box Indy?"
he asked with a small smile, "Seems kind of dark and twisted. Kind of reminds me of Hannibal's sense of humour."


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Indy Sati

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She huffed out a short laugh at his response, shaking her head and taking another sip of coffee. "If my sources are correct... it could be the Fallen Blade." She gazed at it as she spoke, golden eyes weary. "Just barely touching it gave me visions of a massacre of the past... and it left me ill for a week. I know you're not part of the Council..." yet... "... But I need their help. I was considering... purifying it."

She watched his features as she spoke, still holding the cup in her hands and not rising to open the box. She just wasn't up to opening it right now.


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Maxims Tionson

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If he wasn't going to be delving into an ancient tomb, he might have to consider alternative plans. Maybe find a tomb to raid all by himself? Or, more likely, see if he actually had any other hobbies or pursuits that didn't involve risking life and limb because he wanted something to do. But if he did that he would be doing it because he felt he should rather than because it actually sounded like a good idea.

He would give it more thought.

Max stared at her as she spoke about what she believed she had in her possession. He let her speak about it even as he eyed the box a little bit longer. Humming slightly, Max adopted a stern expression as he eyed Indy as though he was disappointed in her.

"Indy."
he spoke gravely, "Since when do you have sources?"

He winked at the end, showing that he had been joking before poking at the box a few times with his right pointer finger. It felt like he was annoying the Dark Side with his subtle taunting of it and he found it rather amusing to consider.

"Alright that sounds like a plan to me."
he agreed with a grin, "I'm suddenly not doing anything dangerous this weekend so my schedule is wide open."


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Indy Sati

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Watching his expression, she felt the slight amusement slip from her eyes. But when he winked, she huffed out a breath, and rolled her eyes again. "Don't you know a lady can't reveal all her secrets?" she smirked in return, then sighed, rubbing a hand on her neck.

He was just poking at the box, but she blinked when he just agreed. What, just like that? No words of consternation, nothing of concern with her harboring a Dark Side artifact? Slowly... a smile touched her lips.


"Well, glad you have such a free schedule,"
she replied, smirking. Then the smile faded, and she glanced at the box. How hard would it be to purify it...?

If the council would choose to do so at all.


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Maxims Tionson

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He did, indeed, know that a woman couldn't reveal all of her secrets so he wasn't even going to ask. Instead he was going to be keeping an eye on her to make sure said sources weren't actually anything that could be used against her in the future. He knew that Indy wouldn't be stupid enough to risk the Jedi Temple with her sources but there were other risks to be considered. She was almost a shoe-in for the rank of Master when she put in for it but certain connections could be used against her during that decision-making process by the Council if they had reason to investigate.

Promotion was one reason.

"Well when a lady comes round I'll keep that in mind but between us Jedi, I think you need to make sure you thoroughly vet those secrets again."
he advised her with a small shrug of his shoulders, "See if they might hurt your chances of Mastery."

He wasn't going to be anything but upfront and honest with her.

Max patted the box like he would pat the head of an angry lothcat or some other angry, but cute, little pet animal. He was deliberately not treating it as a threat because, right now, it really wasn't a threat.

"Leave it to me to bring it to the Council."
he suggested, "Or we can do it together. But I feel like they're less likely to reject it out of hand if I'm there as well."


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Indy Sati

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Her eyes widened at that, blinking once. "Master? Me?" she finally asked, brows then lowering. "Don't tease me Max, we both know I'm not suited for that... but..." she hesitated, glancing back to the box. "No... I'll come with you. I need to know what to do with this... and your help will be appreciated."

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Maxims Tionson

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She really thought she was so far from the ideal of a Master?

Tch.

Reaching over, Max looked as though he was going to place a comforting hand on her shoulder or maybe atop her head. Right up until he flicked her square in the middle of the forehead in a manner that was none-to-gentle. He snorted in amusement and shook his head.

"Indy you know me well enough to know I'm not teasing you. Stop being difficult and letting your insecurities color your perception of reality."
he scolded her seriously, "I think you're ready. And if you don't push for promotion within a reasonable timeframe I'm going to nominate you instead and pull you up by your britches until you start acting like the level you are."

He gave her a grin.

"But sure, come along and let's go see how the whole mechanism works eh?"


He finished his coffee but hung onto the cup as he stood up and gestured for her to follow.

"No time like the present."



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Indy Sati

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She yelped when he flicked her in the forehead, rubbing the spot where he struck. It didn't hurt, but it was annoying. He was right, of course... but the fact that he thought she was ready surprised her. With the way she'd acted on Dathomir, and the way she was as a Jedi, she was hardly the traditional type. And yet he believed in her. And what was more than that, he was willing to step up and vouch.

However... at his words, she let out a soft huff of a laugh, then carefully picked up the box.

"Shower and change first; I'll meet you at the chambers," she nodded, then began to stride off. It wouldn't take her long.

//End Thread

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