Vorace Fenni was born to Lorkta Fenni on the Echani homeworld of Eshan, along with seven other siblings. From the moment he was brought into the world, it was apparent that the child was an oddity among the Echani people. He shared no facial resemblance to his siblings, nor his mother, and instead of the common plain white hair and pale skin, his hair had a strip of black flowing through it and skin that was almost tanned. Throughout his childhood, Vorace was treated as a freak by his family and their neighbours, shunned for his abnormalities. Despite this, Vorace displayed incredible talent in the ways of combat from an early age, never losing a single sparring session and quickly rising to the top of his class. Although his hand-to-hand skills were formidable, it was his melee-weapon fighting abilities that truly held him above the others. Vorace would not only defeat his classmates in melee combat, but he also would pummel them to the point that he was forced to train with older competition, although the results never changed.
Of all his siblings, Vorace only ever received affection from Venus, the youngest of the lot. She made him feel like he truly belonged and was always there for him when he needed her the most. The two would often go exploring together, far from their village, always discovering new things on their little adventures, Venus even crafted two wooden pendants, one for each of them. One day, the duo came across an old medium-sized crashed ship. Venus thought it would be best to leave it alone, however, Vorace had other ideas, he wished to fly it far away from the world that had treated him like garbage. Against his sister's wishes, they entered the crashed vessel and Vorace began to fiddle with the controls in the engine room, what happened next changed his future forever… As Vorace was messing around with the controls of the ship, there was a severe malfunction that resulted in a fire. The fire blocked the cockpit off from the rest of the ship, the cockpit that contained his little sister. Vorace rushed over in time to see his sister burn alive, her screams ringing through his ears as he stood there helplessly until his emotions finally came through. Vorace screamed in anguish at the pain his sister was enduring, it was as if he could feel the flames upon his own skin. At that moment, the force finally manifested itself within him, causing a massive explosion that sent him flying from the ship and laying in a pile of rubble. He remained there until he was found by his mother and other members of the village, when he revealed what had transpired, Lorkta immediately made the decision to banish her son, ordering him to leave Eshan and stripped him of the name Fenni.
Vorace was taken from Eshan by a smuggler named Lesdin, an abusive death stick addict who would often fly his ship, a YT-1200 Light Freighter, while under the influence. Throughout their travels, Lesdin would often beat Vorace, usually for no reason other than the fact that he was in a bad mood. Whenever Vorace would sleep, he would wake up to the sound of his sister's screams, constantly tormented by the pain and loss, he would become more aggressive each passing day. One day as they were flying through the Outer Rim, Lesdin snapped and began to beat Vorace after he dropped a tray of death sticks. Vorace, who was at the brink of his sanity, unknowingly struck out with the force, pushing Lesdin into a wall, breaking his neck and instantly killing him. The use of the force also damaged the ship and Vorace was forced to land on the nearby planet of Tatooine. Upon his arrival, Vorace dropped his name and referred to himself as Ventrik Storm instead, wishing to leave his past life entirely behind him and start anew. Having no credits of his own to pay for parts, he instead began to work as a local mercenary, relying on his combat abilities for income. He was good at this, very good, to the point that he began to earn a decent living within the locale, although he was not well known to all, four other freelance mercenaries were drawn to him and eventually, Ventrik formed a crew of his own, the Stormriders. After several months, the Stormriders were hired by the Hutts to kill a rampaging Krayt dragon that was impeding upon their business, the reward was extremely lucrative. The job almost turned catastrophic when the group discovered that there were, in fact, two Krayt dragons in the area who immediately turned upon them, and only managed to survive after they were driven off by blaster fire from an overhead vessel. Cheers of delight turned into looks of horror after the Stormriders discovered their savior. He was a hooded figure, almost shadow-like. At his waist hung a lightsaber, his eyes burnt a twisted yellow, and they were staring straight at Ventrik. The Sith Eternal had come for him... and it was time for him to join their ranks at last...
PERSONALITY, APPEARANCE & ATTRIBUTES
Ventrik has an extremely emotional and heated personality, preferring the call of battle over other social encounters. Due to his past, he has a severe hatred toward other Echani people, he also has a general dislike for others in general. He is always eager to improve himself in the way of combat and the force, he feeds off his own emotions, as well as those around him, letting them fuel his own abilities. Ventrik has no patience for those who do not follow orders, as well as people who are lacking in strength, he is a ruthless leader that is not afraid to throw himself and his squad in the thick of battle. He commands others through fear and awe, showing no mercy and refusing to flee from a challenge. Ventrik is also incredibly loyal to the few people who manage to get onto his good side, moving earth and mountain to assist them in their time of need.
Ventrik has one goal in life and it is a simple one, to bring back the Sith Order of old. It is his belief that no matter how much power he may manage to attain, there will always be a level beyond.
Due to his Echani upbringing, Ventrik is extremely agile, with a large amount of stamina, and proficient with both hand-to-hand combat and melee weapons, something that is prevalent in his handling with a lightsaber. Ventrik is also a progressing tactician, steadily building on his ability to manage troops. Finally, Ventrik is finely attuned with the force, more specifically the aggressive nature of the dark side.
A major flaw with Ventrik is the blood rages that he occasionally falls into during combat. During the heat of battle, Ventrik may become incensed, aiming at causing nothing but destruction to those around him, allies included. What Ventrik has in combat, he fails in socialisation skills, he is awkward in one-on-one conversations, heavily affecting his diplomatic capabilities with those he isn’t comfortable with. He also has almost no skills when wielding any form of ranged weapons, such as blasters and bows.
Unlike most Echani, Ventrik has a slightly tanned complexion, obtained during his time spent in the sun on Tatooine. Ventrik has silver Echani eyes, during his fits of rage, they change to a darker grey surrounded by a blood-red rim around the iris. He has the standard Echani white hair with a prominent slash of black running through it.
Thanks to his rigorous training regime, Ventrik has an extremely well-built physique, complemented by his height and broad shoulders. He has three gashes across his back from an encounter with a dangerous Krayt Dragon in Tatooine. He also has a large burn mark on his left pectoral muscle from an accident that took the life of one of his sisters.
Equipment and Fight Style
Armor —Standard black cloak with ancient Sith Order mask.
Ventrik idolizes the teachings of the old Sith Order, so much so that he chooses to don the ancient Marauder's mask in combat.
—Standard Issue Comlink
—Standard Issue Datapad Weapon —Single Red Lightsaber (Custom) Always on Ventrik Weapon
—Single Red Lightsaber (Custom) Spare kept in ship
Lightsaber combat: Thanks to his Echani training, Ventrik is very capable of handling melee weapons, especially lightsabers. After strenuous training in the Sith arts, he has some level of ability with the following lightsaber forms:
· Form I – Shi-Cho: As with most lightsaber wielders, Ventrik has a basic understanding of this form, however, he believes the form to be weak and useless in serious combat.
· Form III – Suresu: Understanding the importance of maintaining a solid defence early into his training, Ventrik began to adopt Suresu as a way to protect himself when faced with stronger opposition. Although his capabilities with this form are still minor, he has already progressed beyond his ability of Shi-Cho.
· Form VII – Juyo: The form that relates to his personality the most, wild and aggressive, Juyo comes naturally to Ventrik. His raging emotions resonate almost perfectly with Juyo, allowing him to fully embrace the dark side of the force while engaged in combat. Ventrik is already considered to be a promising user of the Form VII style, receiving high praise for his abilities extremely early on in his training.
ONGOING Fortress Vader: Path of the Broken —EVENT[LINK] ● ONGOING The First Steps —EVENT[LINK] ● ONGOING The Value of Education —PLOT[LINK] ● ONGOING The Dead Speak —[LINK] ● ONGOING Doomed Expedition —[LINK] ● ONGOING That Which Plagues the Mind —[LINK] ●
Hey there, I've got a few issues with this character before he can be approved:
1. In your backstory you said he gained reputation in his locale when on Tatooine. You're going to need to remove or change that part as all characters this TL start off unknown, with no reputation anywhere.
2. The NPC crew you speak of, you need to define how many NPCs there are. Starting off, you can have up to four.
3. The link you have to armor doesn't go anywhere, so you need to change the armor to something currently listed in the tech forums. Also, be aware of the changes to Force Powers this TL where the heavier the armor, even light armor, the less effective the Force will be.
Feel free to tag me with any replies or questions and I'll take a second look when you want me to. Thank you!
Thanks for your response, most of this was done before the new TL so I've had to change a bit.
I believe I've addressed everything you've mentioned here. Regarding the armor, I've completely removed and actual armor from the character and kept the mask as a purely cosmetic addition, hopefully that doesn't require a tech writeup!