Tabloid Thieves Guild: Issue II

Xol Zaa Fenn

Character
Independent
Rank
Enforcer

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OOC
Charles
Joined
Nov 15, 2021
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THIEVES GUILD




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Greetings, exalted ones.

I guarantee you that most of us hold something of value that we would never give up. For some of us, it's a blaster handed down through the family like an heirloom, and for others it might be a picture of your loved ones. I carry with me, a small holo-projector of my Beloved, so that when I hit my lows, I can look to her and bring a sense of calm and peace to my mind. I also carry a highly illegal weapon as a trophy, that will not be named, that my Beloved always took into battle until she fought her last. It is the way I honor her memory.

However, some of us carry a little too many trinkets of value to the point where our ships look like a Jawa's sandcrawler. Ridden with random droid parts, blaster modifications, and strange armor that we may not even remember owning. This is what many, including myself, like to call hoarding. Today, I will be helping you clean out your vaults so you are prepared for the chaos of the brewing galaxy. There is a phrase along the lines of 'Someone's junk is someone's treasure', but let's be honest- sometimes junk is just junk.

For those of you who I speak to in the outer rim, if you are in possession of anything that you cannot make money out of selling, throw it out. Unless, of course, it is something special- like a picture, or the Junior Hutt-ball winning ball that your child made with three seconds on the clock. Those are valuable. Those are worth more than credits. Those are memories. However, if you own a gutted speeder that you swear you'll 'finish later', scrap it and sell it and use the credits to by a brand new speeder. Many might be stocking on weapons- you fools! It doesn't matter how many guns you have if you have no ammo to fire them! If you don't have four arms, you don't need four blaster pistols, I'm afraid. Get rid of duplications of the same blaster rifles as well. You won't need them.

Besides! It will earn yourself some credits to pay off your debts, or buy newer refurbished gear for your daily outings in town. Be careful who you buy from, however, because the armor you might be carrying may belong to either very pissed off Mandalorian or an equally angered Hutt. Now, I would not stress getting into a fight with a Hutt for obvious reasons, but they usually surround themselves with those who can best even a Mandalorian. Many may be wondering, 'Why not just turn on the Hutts? We out number them fifty to one!', well you wonderful zealots, they like to hoard credits. It's the only thing worth hoarding. Because they hoard credits, they also hoard muscle. Money runs the galaxy, scoundrels, and never forget it.

With the recent bombardment of Jakku due to the infamous Operation Cinder from a bygone era (which the Sith claim to have no involvement in), the Hutts might just be the least of your worries. So prepare yourselves! Treasure your memories and make more to treasure and get rid of the extra junk that you really have nothing to do with. Do not waste your time with junk, whether it be sentient or a gonk droid, and surround yourself with the things that matter. That includes organics, by the way. Like another old saying, 'Let bygones be bygones' and live to tell the tale.

But anyway, that's the way I heard it.

Yul, the Honest Worm


 
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