Ask The Will of the Force

[Izel Thral]

​

Izel sat on one of the upper levels of the Yavin temple, the cold wet air from the outside world drifting in through an open window. It seemed the skies were grieving the loss of the past few days as well. The Vratix thought back to everything that had happened. How she awoke on Kori's ship after their flight from Sullust, the pain of her wounds completely overshadowed by the pure dread and sorrow brought about by learning of the news elsewhere. Ajan Kloss attacked, the Order nearly wiped out. The Grandmaster and one of the other councilors dead. It wasn't until some time later she was given a more full accounting of all the souls lost, and one in particular she was more interested in than any of the others.

Keeping her hands busy was the only thing staving off utter misery. She lifted the small kyber crystal over her head, inspecting it in the light. A luminous gold, like that of a brilliant star. Her hand shook slightly as she placed it within her newly constructed lightsaber. Another casualty of that disastrous attack on Sullust. In her last desperate effort to attack the Sith she had dropped her pike, and focused all her energy on one attack. An attack that failed to even make contact with her target. She had been thrown about like a rag doll after that, and in the chaos of trying to escape with her life left the weapon behind. The symbolism was not lost on her.

Taking a shaky breath she stood up again, lifting her new pike and igniting it's yellow blade. Moving about the chamber she began to go through the evolutions of Soresu and Makashi, still trying to occupy her mind. But as time went on she progressively abandoned the controlled and precise movements, degrading into wild furious swings and stabs. She cried out in hateful anguish as she attacked an enemy that wasn't there, cutting them apart without mercy.

"You idiot." She hissed in her native tongue as she moved through the flurry of savage lunges and slices. "You damned fool. Stupid. Worthless. Who do you think you are?" Finally with a scream of rage she launched her pike like a javelin into the far wall, the blade melting into the ancient stonework as she collapsed on the floor, pounding the ground with a fist. She realized she was shaking, her breath uneven. Slowly she looked up at the lightsaber. "I need you." She whispered. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do." Her eyes fell back to the floor. "I don't... Is this the will of the Force? What did we do wrong?" The lightsaber finally fell back to the floor, and with a sigh Izel picked herself up to retrieve it. She had to pull herself together. Her Padawan should be arriving soon. Although, in the moment she didn't feel much like teaching. She didn't feel like she was capable of doing anything.

@Isen

 

[Isen Ramm]

He could feel the wave of negative emotions from Master Thral as he made his way through the temple dressed in his commons and brown Jedi robe. He sensed sadness and grief. There was also confusion and anger. During the padawan's training, Isen had found Master Thral to be positive, wise, and steadfast. Right now, Isen could sense that his teacher whom he had come to respect more than anyone he had ever known was in a dark place. Some of that, Isen was sure, was of his doing.

The young Kiffar was to meet with her, no doubt to talk about some of his shortcomings and impetuous nature. Isen was decisive and sure. He combined great physical tools, a strong connection to the Force, a love for physical and combat training, and a fearlessness of physical danger. He had all the makings of a great warrior. The problem being, the Jedi were not warriors. He knew that. Under the leadership of Izel Thral, he did try to temper his excitement at the prospects of confrontation and battle. He had made some progress in those regards, but unfortunately, Izel's pupil continued to struggle with his impetuousness as it relates to battle.

All that besides, he knew Izel Thral was struggling with recent events and felt somewhat responsible for the push to engage the Sith and the consequences that followed. All those decisions were above Isen's pay grade, but for what it's worth, he agreed with the Vratix master on the decision to take the fight to the Sith. From his inexperienced perspective, what was missing was planning and resolve. There appeared, however, to be a shift happening within the Jedi Order, and Isen figured the Jedi would be much more hesitant to engage their Dark Side counterparts moving forward. Isen didn't understand it, but he wondered if maybe that was his internal longings for battle talking and not his good sense.

By the time he reached his master, Izel had more or less quieted herself. As Isen entered the room, he noticed the melted stone where Izel had thrown her pike into it. The faintest whiff of molten rock remained in the air and reminded him of the disaster on Sullust. He paused for a moment, wondering if he should continue forward. He got the impression that she wanted, perhaps needed, more introspection. Perhaps it was Isen's history of making fast, quick decisions, but he, more or less, got over his failures quickly. He had plenty of practice doing so, afterall. He struggled to understand how most brooded about things they felt were their fault, but it seemed to be the norm, especially within the Order.

He decided to go ahead and enter, and sat crossed-legged on the floor near Master Thral. He said nothing for a few moments deciding what, if anything to say. He finally decided on simply saying, "Master." There could be an implied "good day" or "I'm here as instructed" or a hundred other potential greetings. Hopefully the one word introduction to his arrival would imply whatever the best implication would be to the Jedi Knight training him. They had developed enough of a bond that should could very well see the greeting for what it us- the safest possible entry. Then again, she was so wrapped up in her own thoughts and emotions, she might not.

@Reyn

 

[Izel Thral]

Izel stood facing the wall, turning the pike over in her hands slowly as she inspected the weapon. She sensed Isen's approach, and turned her head slightly to watch him enter from the corner of her eye. With a simple nod she acknowledged his presence and gestured for him to sit, then went back to looking at her new lightsaber.

"Master." Isen said after a few moments had passed, and the Vratix forced herself to turn around. Silently she took a seat on the floor facing him and bowed her head slightly in greeting as she placed her pike on the ground before her.

"Padawan..." She answered his greeting solemnly. "Isen..." She paused, trying to find the words. A thousand different thoughts were twisting in her mind, and she wasn't sure how to articulate them. "I feel the need to apologize. I have not been the master you need. I have done my best to help you hone your talents as a duelist, and to expand your knowledge and command of the Force. And I am very satisfied with your progress." She paused again, and as she spoke the words to her apprentice she was only starting to understand herself what the problem was. "But I have not taught you how to be a Jedi. And that is because I have not been behaving as one myself." Reviewing everything she had been doing the last few years, that was the only real conclusion the Vratix could come to, as painful as it was to admit it.

"I have acted in ways not in accordance with our Code," She explained. "And I fear you have adopted many of these tendencies yourself. Your overeagerness for conflict, your lack of restraint on the battlefield, these are reflections of my own rush to enter into confrontation with the Sith." And now to get to the meat of the subject, a lesson they both needed desperately to learn.

"Isen... Why do you think that in all these millennia of war the Jedi have never been able to totally defeat the Sith?" She asked. The young Kiffar was a bright one, she would never deny that. But she wondered if his pragmatic and calculating nature would allow him to see the answer.

@Isen

 

[Isen Ramm]

Izel Thral's padawan listened intently to his master. She was wise. Isen thought wiser than she gave herself credit for. Perhaps it was just a pupil thinking fondly of his teacher, but the other Knights and even many of the Masters thought highly of the Vratix's opinions. Best that Isen could tell, she would likely be given the title of Master soon, and would be a potential candidate to sit on the Council one day.

"I have acted in ways not in accordance with our Code," his master said. There she was again, Isen thought, beating herself up over decisions she can't go back in change. But then, she turned the conversation on him, and he was fairly sure this conversation would happen at some point. "And I fear you have adopted many of these tendencies yourself. Your overeagerness for conflict, your lack of restraint on the battlefield, these are reflections of my own rush to enter into confrontation with the Sith."

Isen's overeagerness and lack of restraint- that much was true. Hindsight being 20/20, he had used too much force back on Onderon. The other Jedi were able to take many of the cultists in the forest out of the fight with less than lethal means. Isen didn't hesitate to jump directly to lethal force. And again, on Sullust, the desire to chase after the pilot of the Interceptor that ejected from his seat. There was no tactical reason for doing so if Isen was to be honest. He wanted a chance to redeem himself for getting his X-wing shot down. Isen didn't want to use the word revenge, but...there it was.

"Isen... Why do you think that in all these millennia of war the Jedi have never been able to totally defeat the Sith?" Izel asked him.

Well, based on the tone of this conversation, what Isen truly believed would not be the answer she was looking for. He also knew that there was no point in lying to his Master. She would know, so even though he knew he was going to give her the wrong answer, he might as well come out with it. But first, he needed to address the white rancor in the room. "I apologize for my...exuberance when it comes to personal combat, Master. I know it isn't right for a Jedi. I'm trying to temper those feelings, but I am struggling. I will admit that."

Isen turned his attention to the question. He sighed and shook his head because he knew she would not like his answer. "I feel we play too much defense. We allow the Sith to define everything. What planet we fight on. The rules of engagement. How many Sith we have to fight. The objectives for fighting in the first place. We allow the Sith to define it all. If we never define the objectives, the best we can ever hope for is a stalemate." He shrugged and looked at his Master, knowing this was not what she wanted to hear. "The choice to go to Sullust wasn't necessarily a bad decision, but there was no planning. We just rolled in without so much as a map or organized teams. I don't know what we expected to happen based on that."

He looked back at the floor. "I know that is not the answer you are looking for, and of course I will defer to your wisdom." He looked back to her. "You are wise, and I hope you know that. I put my full trust in your instincts." All Isen could do now is see just how wrong his answer was.

@Reyn

 

[Izel Thral]

Izel looked back at her apprentice warmly. Despite everything else she was still able to maintain the same patience with her Padawan. She appreciated Isen's honesty in his answer. If nothing else the boy was straightforward.

"I'm glad you think so." She responded lightheartedly to his offered compliment. She realized how easy it must have been to pick up on her current state of mind, even for one without the Force. "I have to at least sound the part." She joked before becoming more serious.

"And you are not entirely incorrect. We have allowed the Sith to define the terms of this war. But on a grander scale then simple strategic plays, moving pieces on a dejarik board. Since the first schism between the Jedi and the Sith there has been a different kind of war going on in the background, one that encompasses the whole of the galaxy, and every being living within it." She figured Isen would be smart enough to put two and two together, but still it needed to be said. She's forgotten about it herself for long enough.

"The war between the light and dark sides of the Force, and which one will rule. Regardless of the state of galactic politics, every action we take tips the scale in one direction. And while we have always claimed to fight for balance, I am starting to believe our methods have ensured the opposite. By answering the Sith's violence with violence, we are conceding the point to them that their philosophy is correct. That through power they gain victory." She didn't expect to find herself quoting the Sith Code. But there were few other ways she could put it.

"That is not to say we should just sit on our laurels and let them run roughshod over the galaxy of course," She quickly clarified. "We should still place ourselves between them and the innocent, and obstruct their efforts to assert dominance wherever they make the attempt. But these tactics will never be enough to win." She inclined her head pointedly at her militarily minded Padawan. "And neither will wiping them out." Her voice softened again.

"We can only achieve a lasting victory through showing them a different path." She explained. "One of enlightenment, compassion, understanding, and balance." She paused again. "Certainly no small task. But after Sullust and Ajan Kloss... I see now the effort must be made. We must learn how to employ an entirely new form of combat. That is what I plan to do with this failure Isen. Master Grayza will need his soldiers to defend against the Sith on the battlefield. And if that is where your desires lie I will see to it you are placed in their ranks. You've certainly proven your ability..." She looked at the young Kiffar silently for a long time. She knew him well enough to know that's what he wanted, but could still see the potential for much more in him. "But you are still my Padawan. And I would like to have you at my side."

@Isen

 

[Isen Ramm]

There was much to think about. There have been so many different philosophies and discussions about what it means for the Force to be in "balance," one could throw darts at a board and be just as likely to be right as anyone else. Isen was less interested in the theological, philosophical arguments. He wanted something actionable. Nobody had ever seemed to get it right anyway. Anakin Skywalker was supposed to bring balance to the Force, and he did, best Isen could tell from his history, in a savage and horrific way. The Sith were under the "Rule of Two" at the time and the Jedi were scattered throughout the galaxy, outnumbering the Sith nearly 5,000 to one. How did Skywalker-turned-Darth Vader bring balance to the force? By murdering all the Jedi until only Master Yoda and Master Kenobi remained alive and in hiding. Two Sith. Two Jedi. Balance. Isen often wondered, to himself as he would never wonder these things aloud, if the Jedi were too preoccupied with dogma and philosophy, trying to live by vague principles that were often debated about what they even mean. The young Padawan contemplated the possibility that the Jedi couldn't see the trees because of the forest. They missed individual opportunities because they were too busy trying to live up to a grand image, an image that was hotly debated upon in the first place. Yet, they all strove for it, even if they weren't sure what it was.

"The war between the light and dark sides of the Force, and which one will rule," Isen's master said. "Regardless of the state of galactic politics, every action we take tips the scale in one direction. And while we have always claimed to fight for balance, I am starting to believe our methods have ensured the opposite. By answering the Sith's violence with violence, we are conceding the point to them that their philosophy is correct. That through power they gain victory."

And here was an interesting twist that caused Isen to slow his breathing and think. Essentially, jf he understood what she was saying, there could be no balance if both the Sith and the Jedi were acting through prisms of power. The Jedi wouldn't admit it, but now that full-fledged war has come against the Sith, it is hard to set the benchmarks of victory in war without looking it at through the prism of power, influence, and control. All of which, the Jedi were philosophically opposed to. And to gain that power, influence, and control, the Jedi would be forced to resort to violence and worse, would have to initiate that violence- again, diametrically opposed to the tenets of Jedi teaching. Master Thral had a point- balance would be hard to come by if both sides were essentially acting under the same precepts.

"We should still place ourselves between them and the innocent, and obstruct their efforts to assert dominance wherever they make the attempt. But these tactics will never be enough to win. And neither will wiping them out," Izel told her padawan. The last sentence was spoken much more sharply in a stern rebuke of Isen's ideas of how to defeat the Sith.

And truth be told, Isen knew she was likely correct. Even when the Jedi believed they had eradicated the Sith, they always reemerged. The Dark Side is nothing, if not patient. When the Jedi believe they have the battle won, they get complacent. That is precisely when the Dark Side pounces and makes aggressive gains and puts the galaxy in jeopardy. Isen couldn't refute this fact at all.

As Izel continued, she did not expressly say it, but Isen could feel that she did not plan on joining Master Grayza and his group of Guardians intent on taking the fight to the Sith. "I see now the effort must be made. We must learn how to employ an entirely new form of combat. That is what I plan to do with this failure Isen. Master Grayza will need his soldiers to defend against the Sith on the battlefield. And if that is where your desires lie I will see to it you are placed in their ranks. You've certainly proven your ability..."

Isen looked up, his disappointment surely showing. His master had been one of the biggest proponents of the Guardians, and she was giving every indication that now that the Guardians had been given the full blessing of the Council, she had decided on a different path. But she was offering to put him with the Guardians? He was genuinely confused and disappointed. He did not want to choose between being a Guardian and being by Izel's side throughout the duration of his training. He trusted her, and she was a good teacher. And pragmatically, she was strong in Isen's areas of weakness. He had no doubt that he would become a well-rounded Jedi Knight under tutelage. He had no doubt. And, he felt a sense of loyalty to her as well.

After a long pause, she was looking at him directly when she said that she would like him to be by her side. And so there it was, another decision point for Isen. He closed his eyes and lowered his head to take a few moments to meditate on this. To think this through. She had not outrightly displayed her displeasure at his choice in the crystal mine. In fact, Isen did not relay the story of what happened. Yet, she knew. Isen knew that she knew, and Isen knew that she was disappointed in his choice. Not giving the appearance of being inadequate may have been Isen's biggest fear, but a close second was not wanting to disappoint Izel Thral, the only individual in the galaxy he felt truly knew him and liked him for who he was. He had seen her disappointment in his excessive force on Onderon and when he started to chase after the ejected Interceptor pilot. He wondered if that choice in the cave was indirectly pushing him toward these other missteps. He didn't mind failing, but when it resulted in Izel's disappointment, it took on a different tamber with him.

He opened his eyes and looked back at his Master. "I want to stay and learn from you, Master," he said to her. "I don't trust anyone else to give me counsel when crises and losses come. And the Guardians will no doubt have their share of both against the Sith." A faint smile, disappointed as it may be, a valiant effort to not show that disappointment, appeared on his face. "The Guardians will still be there should I be granted Knighthood in the future. If that is the will of the Force that I be a Jedi Guardian, that door will open for me again."

He looked forward again, absently tapping the hilt of one his lightsabers.

@Reyn

 

[Izel Thral]

Izel could immediately tell how disappointed Isen was with her plans. Although she hadn't said it yet, yes it was quite clear she meant to abandon the Guardians. At least for the time being. It had been the hasty commitment of an overeager knight who had no true knowledge of the enemy. And she had clearly rubbed off on her apprentice. He was talented yes, but he enjoyed combat far too much for a Jedi. She didn't blame him for that. She blamed herself for not seeing it sooner and trying to correct his course. That was what she planned to do now, but seeing him give such consideration to her offer to have him transferred to a new master within Hannibal's program, it sparked a twinge of fear in her. She'd come to care for Isen deeply, not only as a student but as another member of her family, no different then her blood siblings. She feared losing him for any reason.

And so it came with a breath of relief when she received his decision. Even if he was disappointed for the time being in this new path, at least he valued her enough to see things through. "Your words honor me Padawan." She said with genuine gratitude and a bow of her head. And it was clear in the tone of her voice she wasn't just saying that to be polite. "I couldn't have asked for a better pupil. Nor a better friend. I promise so long as you put your faith in me I will dedicate myself to your growth as a Jedi."

Of course, now that they had agreed to stick together they had to determine just where they were going. It was a monumental task she had laid out before them, but Izel was already starting to consider a few ways to start on this path. But she could sense something was still eating at Isen. "Whatever's troubling you," She started tenderly, "Now's the time to tell me, Padawan." There was no rush. Wherever their journey lead them next she wanted to make sure there were no regrets weighing on either of them.

@Isen

 

[Isen Ramm]

"Your words honor me Padawan," Izel told him. "I couldn't have asked for a better pupil. Nor a better friend. I promise so long as you put your faith in me I will dedicate myself to your growth as a Jedi."

Isen was comforted by this. Typically, Izel was warm with her padawan. She corrected in a straightforward manner, sternly if necessary, and Isen appreciated that. But, she also was not one to hold back praise, and Isen could sense her sincerity. At first, Isen did not know how to take praise. He wasn't accustomed to getting it, but she had taught him that lesson as well- be gracious, but humble to those that speak well of you.

But, Izel was very much on her well-respected and on her way to becoming a Jedi Master. She had a strong connection to the Force, and she trusted that connection between her and it. She also could read Isen very well and was very perceptive about what Isen was thinking and his emotions. She was correct in her assessment of Isen's current state of mind. "Whatever's troubling you, now's the time to tell me, Padawan."

So many questions. The road for Isen had never been more unclear. His future? Murky. He had never been more confused about the nature of the Force or his relationship with it. The theological questions, the philosophy of the Force, the meaning of it all...Isen was already forming his own opinions, and they didn't always line up with what he was taught. His pragmatic nature often stood in the way of enlightened ideals about the Force. Isen also believed that this roadblock was probably part of the reason he struggled with more of the spiritual aspects of the Force which meant he was not reaching his full potential as a Jedi. It's hard to put into practice what you don't fully understand, or at the very least, what you don't fully believe or trust. And Master Thral was so absolute, so trustful in the Force. She had taught him well and had been an excellent example of this. Isen knew his shortcomings in these regards were his own and not that of his teacher. Isen knew he was strong in the Force, and while he didn't tell people or flaunt it, he knew that if he could just get past this....mental...thing...and trust the Force, there is no telling what good he could accomplish as a Jedi.

That said, that was not what was bothering him. What was bothering him was this nagging idea that the choice he made on Mygeeto had predetermined his future. He couldn't go back and change it. He had tried in that cave. The Force wouldn't allow it. The future Jedi version of himself in the cave had raised a hand before Isen could even ask, making it clear that the choice was made and that it had altered his history forever. It was a stone he paved in his path that could not be picked up and replaced with another. The Light Side version of himself said that it could be good or bad, but that same older, Jedi Master of himself dimmed while the fire in the eyes of the future Sith of himself blazed. Isen could move past most of the other decisions he had made, even the biggest of mistakes. But this is the one that worried him, worried that this choice put him down a path of unbridled aggression. That leads to a place he did not want to go.

He was still mindlessly tapping the lightsaber, one of the two he had created with his first crystals. His first pair. Isen built them to match. Metal hilts encased with wooden grips to give the illusion to be wooden lightsabers. He noticed this tapping and recognized it was the lightsaber that contained the crystal from Mygeeto. He made himself stop and put his hands in his lap. He took a deep breath. "I feel like the biggest mistakes that I make are tied to Mygeeto." They had never had a conversation about it, but he knew his Master and their Force Bond well enough to know that she likely knew every detail of what occured in that cave. "The Force told me that neither decision defined my path, that both choices could be used to promote fairness, justice and peace through the galaxy. Either decision could be laying a stone toward the path to the Dark Side." Isen's eyes narrowed as he looked into his hands. "I don't believe the Force told me the truth."

Isen's jaw dropped, and his relaxed. A moment of clarity. He had said it out loud. The biggest roadblock to trusting the Force was spoken- he was convinced the Force had lied to him in the caves of Mygeeto.

@Reyn

 

[Izel Thral]

Izel listened closely to Isen's concerns. From his body language, tone, and the general aura he displayed through the Force, it was clear this was a matter of grave importance to him. He seemed to believe the Force itself was acting against him, like an enemy trying to undermine his progression. While the young Kiffar was clearly deeply disturbed by this, Izel couldn't help but let out a light chitter at his words.

"Isen," She replied with much greater certainty, "The Force does not lie to people. These feelings you are experiencing stem from your own uncertainty and fears." She paused and looked up over the Padawan's head as she tried to decide how best to explain. "It is because your conscious mind and the Living Force are still out of sync. And so you cannot reconcile your decisions with the path you wish to walk." She reached out and put a hand over his lightsaber, the one constructed with the crystal from Mygeeto.

"This crystal you carry focuses your aggression." She repeated what he had already been told in the cave. "And you know aggression is not the Jedi Way. When you chose it, on some level you felt you were acting not in accordance with our Code. That planted a seed of doubt, and saw you begin to break with the will of the Force. You feel you made a mistake, and as you agonized over that mistake you have become less and less sure of yourself." She took her hand away, inclining her head slightly.

"I'll admit, your decision worried me at the time too. I assure you I am no perfect Jedi, I have doubts as we all do." She continued remorsefully. "But Master Tionson helped me remember that the flow of the Force is a winding river, not a straight road. Being a Jedi is not about the absence of aggression, it is about balance, and proper application. I would advise you to study on a Jedi Master of the Old Republic, Mace Windu. He was one who harnessed his naturally aggressive tendencies and used them to strengthen his ties to the light rather than weaken them." She leaned in a bit, her tone taking on a slightly sly air. "He too was a famed duelist."

"You look at the Jedi as a fixed model to aspire to," She went on. "But everyone is born with the parts they need to live as an enlightened Jedi. It's simply a matter of getting them all to click into place. Instead of fighting against your nature to shape yourself into what you think a great Jedi should be, you must find balance in your own qualities. Learn how to use them to carry out the will of the Force." She crossed her arms as she mulled things over.

"You are aggressive, powerful, a naturally gifted fighter. Having these traits does not fundamentally skew you towards the dark side, letting them control you does. The Force would not have endowed you with these qualities if it did not wish you to use them. You simply need to learn how to learn how to use them as the Force intends. For that you need calm, and patience. Learn to feel the flow of the Force and how your decisions effect that flow. When you see the winding of the river, you'll be able to follow it. Then your strengths will truly shine."

@Isen

 

[Isen Ramm]

While he couldn't say that all of his concerns and even fears were alleviated, Isen did feel himself more at ease listening to Master Thral. She had seen much, experienced much, and knew much, much more than he did. She did not seem overly concerned about Isen drifting to the Dark Side. In fact, she seemed to chuckle at the idea that Isen thought the Force was drawing him that way through some sort of subterfuge.

As she had a means of doing, she matter of factly told Isen it was his fault, not the fault of the Force. "It is because your conscious mind and the Living Force are still out of sync. And so you cannot reconcile your decisions with the path you wish to walk." Not much to interpret there. These decisions were made by Isen, not the Force. He was responsible for them. "This crystal you carry focuses your aggression. And you know aggression is not the Jedi Way. When you chose it, on some level you felt you were acting not in accordance with our Code. That planted a seed of doubt, and saw you begin to break with the will of the Force. You feel you made a mistake, and as you agonized over that mistake you have become less and less sure of yourself."

Again, pretty straight-forward. Isen didn't necessarily choose the wrong crystal. He did likely choose it for the wrong reasons. And he knew it. Point of fact, Isen did know it. He knew it the moment he selected the crystal. And Izel laid out a very convincing case of what is causing his string of...overzealous...decisions. Hs own self-doubt fed what was almost assuredly a self-fulfilling prophecy. He had, in a way, talked himself into believing the worst about himself, and as such, the decisions he made reflected that. Each subsequent decision fed that belief and he found himself in a downward spiral with no end to it in sight.

But when she said, "...the flow of the Force is a winding river, not a straight road," Isen caught his heart up in his throat. This is almost the exact same metaphor the Jedi Master of himself used in that cave in Mygeeto. Know he knew where that Jedi Master of himself in the crystal cave got that metaphor. He got it from right here at the top levels of the Jedi Temple from his wise teacher. It was even more evidence that she had the right of it.

She suggested that he study on one of the great Jedi Masters of the past, Mace Windu. Isen knew of Master Windu to some degree from his history studies. His exploits as a general during the Clone Wars were legion. Holocrons with information about the Clone Wars were littered with battles of Republic victories led by Mace Windu. Isen knew he sat on the Jedi Council during the last days of Council's existence before Order 66 wiped the Jedi out. He also knew that Master Windu had essentially done what even the great Master Yoda could not- defeat Darth Sidious in lightsaber combat. Had Anakin Skywalker not turned on Windu and the Jedi, Master Windu would have ended the Sith threat by killing the Sith Lord. Isen didn't always exert himself to the max during his studies, but this was a subject matter that he thought might keep his interest. He would certainly give Master Windu's biography a hard study.

The young Kiffar felt a bit ashamed for some of his misconceptions. She was right- Isen had a picture of the "model Jedi" in his mind. A sort of exemplar template for what makes a great Jedi. He assumed everyone in the Order did. Now he realized how silly that was. Master Thral was very different than Master Grayza who differed greatly from Master Max who was quite different than Master Oren who had great differences from Master Tallis. How had he not seen this before?

He was relieved to hear her say that these qualities that were natural to him- aggression being one- were what the Force wanted him to have, and it was his responsibility to tame those qualities, to forge them into something that thrives within the Jedi Code and brings justice and peace to the galaxy. He nodded. He heard every word, and felt much of that weight lifted from him. Master Thral was wise, and she had always been honest with him. She did not sugarcoat, and so he had every reason to believe that he could trust the Force and his natural tendencies and characteristics to become a worthy Jedi.

"Thank you, Master," he said back. "I do feel better about it." He had heard some hard truths. Isen was fully to blame. His choices, nobody else's. But, he was also given a great light toward the end of the tunnel. She had discussed his great potential, and Isen knew it. He knew he could be a Jedi that brought great relief and freedom to people all over the galaxy, but he was also was capable of bringing great destruction and death. Armed with Master Thral's words, he knew that he had to reconcile himself with the Force and dedicate himself to his training. No more half-efforts. No more slacking on subjects that didn't interest him. He had to go all-in. Izel had already told him that she would be dedicated to his development since he chose to stay with her. He nodded resolutely and said, "It's a new day, Master. Since we will not be traveling and fighting with the Guardians, I should have plenty of time to train and study. Just tell me what I must do."

@Reyn

 

[Izel Thral]

Izel warmed as her apprentice informed her her words had been of some help. She was glad she was able to alleviate at least some of his fears, even if he still had many obstacles to overcome. And now with that business out of the way Isen seemed eager to move on to what came next. If they weren't to fall in line with Master Grayza's new Guardians, what were they to do exactly? Izel had only half of a plan formed so far, but there were some things they could start covering now in preparation. Taking a breath Izel stood up and walked across the room, creating a gap between her and the Padawan as she spoke.

"Well, this might sound unorthodox," She began. "But as I said, our ultimate goal is to find alternate means of combating the Sith that do not demand the use of force." She turned to face Isen directly. "To that end we will be disarming ourselves of our lightsabers during these coming travels." She paused to let that sink in. It was certainly an unusual method. The lightsaber was a part of who a Jedi was after all, and Isen in particular had great love of the sword. But Izel saw it as a necessary part of both his growth and hers. They had to force themselves to think differently if they were going to succeed in their mission. That meant removing any temptation to solve problems the quick and easy way.

"We will limit our use of the Force as much as possible as well." She went on. "We will walk the galaxy as commoners would, and try to expand our perspective. You in particular, given that you have been with the Jedi from a very young age, could use the opportunity to see how the regular denizens of the galaxy live day to day. And in honesty, I could use a reminder myself. It's been over half a decade since I left my own home." She tilted her head slightly and took on a more lighthearted air.

"Of course, we aren't naïve fools. We don't want to leave ourselves completely vulnerable to common thugs. Which is why it's time for you to expand your repertoire of Force abilities." With a wave of a hand she would flip a switch on one of the far walls. A buzzer would go off, and three training remotes would emerge from an alcove in the wall and hover over the Vratix's head. "Tell me what you know of tutaminis."

@Isen

 

[Isen Ramm]

Everything was easy to understand until his master said that they would travel without their lightsabers. Isen couldn't manage to hide his emotions. He surely looked part confused and part incredulous. Before he could manage to get the words out, "I don't understand," The Vratix continued, Isen thought, but he was sort of dazed out it. He always equated the lightsaber with being a Jedi. The lightsaber, of course, was just a tool of the Jedi, not what made a Jedi. Afterall, the Sith used lightsabers as well. Isen supposed that was the point that his teacher would be trying to make.

He was dazed and lost for much of what followed, but a buzzer snapped him out of it to hear her question. "Tell me what you know of tutaminis."

He shook more cobwebs out and sort of stuttered his answer. "I..I..It's the ability of a Force user to dissipate or absorb forms of energy. Heat and light. I was given the basics with the other younglings and initiates, but...I didn't really exert myself in practicing it as I should."

Through the Force, and the slight hum, he sensed the remotes. He scanned the room to locate them and then looked back at his teacher. "I'm still a novice," he said, hoping she would adjust the remotes accordingly.

@Reyn

 

[Izel Thral]

Izel could tell immediately the level of effect her words had on Isen. She knew he would be disappointed by what she said given his militant focus, but his complete astonishment struck her as a bit dramatic. His knowledge of tutaminis was also about what she suspected. While all younglings learned the basics of the ability, few put the effort in to master it. It was a difficult and in many cases taxing power after all, and the presence of a lightsaber made it a skill few Jedi ever needed. Izel's philosophy however, was that it was better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it.

"First of all, relax." She said with a hint of amusement in her tone over his reaction. "This is only temporary for the purpose of our training. I'm not forbidding you from ever using them. That would just be foolish. Where we'll be going you won't need them." With those assurances she then focused on the remotes. After adjusting them to the basic level she had them target her first to offer a demonstration.

"I know the lightsaber has become synonymous with the Jedi Knight, but it's important you remember the Force is the first and greatest weapon at a Jedi's disposal, and where a material tool might fail you, the Force will always protect you." As she said this the remotes slowly began to rotate around her, and Izel finally turned her focus on the machines, raising her hands palms out in a defensive posture. "Obviously your senses are developed enough to predict the incoming attacks, which just means you need to get the hang of controlling the incoming energy..."

One of the remotes suddenly stopped and blasted at Izel. The Vratix quickly turned and put out her hand, the blast hitting her palm and seemingly having no effect on the insectoid at all. As a thin line of smoke rose from her palm Izel looked back at her apprentice. "Think of it like this. When you eat food, your body converts it into energy. Through the Force we can do the same with directed energy attacks, absorbing that energy and using it to augment our strength, heal our wounds, or redirect it at a desired target." The second remote fired at her, and to give an example Izel angled her palm so the blast bounced off her hand and hit the third remote, drawing an indignant buzz from the machine. Izel then set the remotes to move over and start revolving around Isen. At the low setting they were on their attacks would come slowly and be easily predictable. They would sting on contact, but do no more then cause an unpleasant burn.

"Now you try," Izel told him. "Remember to use your senses, feel the energy and try to control it the same way you would when using telekinesis on an inanimate object." Izel knew the Force was not Isen's strong suit, but she had watched him improve over their time together. And with all the Padawan's new experience from the field, she hoped he would surprise himself with what he was now capable of when he put his mind to it.

@Isen

 

[Isen Ramm]

Isen took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, Master," he said. As a sign of goodwill, he unclipped his lighstabers and put them on the floor next to his Vratix master. He made his way to the center of the room. The flying droids followed him, the three of them triangulating with the Kiffar padawan in the center. Isen stood at the ready, facing one directly and the other two in his peripheral vision.

Reaching out with the force, he successfully predicted the first shot which came from the droid on his left. The shot was aimed just below the hip. Isen flicked his left hand out to catch it, but he missed and the blaster bolt struck him in the high. Isen grimaced and looked down, seeing the scorch mark on his robe. Looking at Izel, he shrugged. "I'm not accustomed to having to catch it. I was short. I usually have a lightsaber blade there."

Isen shook it off and put himself back into the center of the training droids. This time the bolt came from the one directly in front of him. Isen reached down and the blaster bolt landed in his palm, but he did little to stop the energy from burning into his hand. He jumped up and shook his hand as a result of the blast. He gritted his teeth, partly in pain, partly in frustration, and got back into the kill zone of the droids. The droid on his left shot again, taking him off guard. He thought it would come from the remote on the right. He wasn't even close and the droid hit him square in the ribs, once again leaving a scorched mark on his clothing.

Again, Isen grimaced and he responded by taking off his robe quickly and throwing it on the floor in frustration. He was too stubborn and too competitive to give in and hopped right back into the middle of the remotes. He didn't even look at Izel. She would likely be either chittering in laughter or displeasure, and he wasn't in the mood for either. Once again, he got back into the center of the remotes. This time, the blast did come from the right. Isen judged it well, and the bolt went directly into Isen's palm. The only difference between this one and the last time is that the burn lit up his right hand instead of his left. Out of frustration, Isen Force pushed the center remote with some authority and it flew backwards and banked off the wall. It beeped and blurped and spinned as if it were angry. This time, Isen had no choice but to look at Master Thral. "I'm sorry, Master. I let my frustration get the best of me."

@Reyn

 

[Izel Thral]

Izel nodded in approval as Isen laid down his lightsabers. She appreciated him giving it a chance, even though she could tell he already felt naked without them. Folding her hands behind her back she watched in silence as her Padawan began the exercise, analyzing his level of competence with tutaminis.

He failed to block the first shot, and Izel just nodded as he mentioned he was used to having a lightsaber. That was fair enough. She didn't expect him to get the hang of it immediately. Unfortunately it seemed he was much more out of practice with the skill then she would have hoped, as he seemed to take the full effect of the blaster bolt when he tried to catch it. She continued watching in silence as the young Kiffar quickly became frustrated, her antennae twitching but the Vratix not voicing any criticisms just yet. After he Force pushed the one remote however it became clear he was losing his nerve quickly.

"I'm sorry, Master. I let my frustration get the best of me." Isen said apologetically, turning back to look at her. Izel simply nodded and began adjusting the remotes' program.

"Well that never helps does it?" She remarked, understanding without letting the lapse in control pass. Two of the remotes hovered back, leaving just one in front of the Padawan. "We'll start a bit slower. The attacks will come from the same place, head on. This way you can focus all your attention on trying to dissipate the energy. Remember you need to use the Force to manipulate the bolt itself. You can't just catch it like a ball, you need to draw in that energy and regulate it throughout your whole body. Otherwise you're just going to get burned again. Go ahead." With that the Vratix stepped back once more and gave her apprentice space. The remote would hover directly in front of him and fire in slow, regular intervals to make the shots easy to see coming.

Izel noticed that right now Isen was treating this like another simple physical exercise, trying to block the blasts the same way he would with a lightsaber. If you just knew the forms and could anticipate the attack, you could easily block it. But this was different. If he wanted to succeed he needed to strengthen his connection with the Force. He couldn't just watch the remote with his eyes and rely on his reflexes. He needed to feel the machine, feel the energy, feel his body, and use his connection to the Force to manipulate the relation between the three, to take in that energy like drinking a glass of water instead of taking a punch to the face. She knew he knew the concept. She had taught him as much. He just needed to put it into practice.

@Isen

 

[Isen Ramm]

Nodding, Isen paced around a little bit, somewhat like a caged animal being forced to learn tricks he didn't want to do. It wasn't that he didn't want to learn how to do it or that he didn't see the useful application of this ability. It was obviously useful, and if he was to be in the thick of chaos and danger, it would be an invaluable skill. He knew that. But, Isen had always struggled to focus and put his full energy into practice about things that met two criteria: A) were inherently Force-centric and B) did not involve a lightsaber. This exercise fit that criteria.

The padawan forced himself to stop pacing around. He could feel the frustration in him welling up, so he dropped to his knees, closed his eyes and did something he almost never did- he mediated on his own volition. He took some time to reflect back on what he had been taught by Izel and back to his original lessons on this skill as a youngling. Mostly, he took the time to center himself, calm himself, and to feel the Force flow through him. He had gotten better at feeling the Force flow through him under Izel's tutelage, and this skill required exactly that. Isen understood he still had a long way to go in that regard. He took some time to think about how the Force flows through him, and how the energy from the bolt would need to do the same. His breathing slowed and he imagined it, imagined how the burn on his hand would be transferred as energy that moved through his body and out of him as the Force was constantly doing the same.

Isen opened his eyes and with much more calmness stood in front of the remote that hovered about six feet off the ground. The young Kiffar readied himself and positioned his body like a martial artist, his eyes looking not at the droid, but through it. Sight was irrelevant. Getting a hand in front of the bolt would require feeling it through the Force, not eye and hand coordination with the bolt itself. His hands were positioned palms open and slightly in front of him. He waited for the first bolt, and Isen's hand intercepted it. He did much better, as instead of burning his palm, he was able to dissipate the energy throughout his entire body. The bolt transferred to electricity as it rushed through his body and gave a light shock from head to toe. It didn't hurt, but it buzzed him and his muscles tightened from the electric shock. "Progress," Isen thought to himself. He figured he was on the right track.

He took another deep breath and positioned himself in front of the remote droid. The bolt shot to his right shoulder to which Isen reached across his body with his left hand caught the bolt square in his palm. This time, Isen felt no buzz, no electric shock, just a slight warming sensation over his body as the energy shot into tiny particles that exited his body throughout the pores in his skin all over his body. Isen nodded, but understood, this still wasn't good enough. A bolt from a blaster would be much more powerful and that little bit of heat from this training remote would be deadly when it was coming from a live blaster. There was still work to do. Again, Isen steadied himself and bolt after bolt, he caught them until finally he physically felt nothing but the Force telling his body that the energy had rushed through him and left him harmlessly. The bolts came faster and faster, and for the first time, Isen felt himself lost in the Force. He wasn't thinking. He wasn't reacting. It was as if the Force was doing the work for him.

After about 30 or 40 shots from the remote, there was silence and the remote floated without attacking. Isen took a deep breath and relaxed his posture. He looked at his master and said, "That went better."

@Reyn

 

[Izel Thral]

Izel watched with satisfaction as Isen actually took the time to sit down and meditate, centering himself. Very good. He understood what the problem was and was beginning to take the necessary steps to correct it. Through the Force she could sense his aura slowly turning from one of restless energy to a more controlled calm. When he stood up again, she immediately knew things were going to go better than before.

She was correct, but she still couldn't have predicted just how quickly Isen was able to course correct. Within two shots he had ceased to feel any pain from the impact. And his technique only improved with each successive attack. While she outwardly maintained a neutral expression, inwardly the Vratix was astonished by her apprentice's natural instincts and ability to learn on the fly. Everyday her Padawan further confirmed her suspicions as to just how much potential he had as a Force user.

Once he finished the round Izel stepped forward again. "Excellent work Padawan." She praised his progress, voice swelling with pride. "You can now feel the flow yes? Beyond the mundane material plane there is only energy, the Force. When you move with the flow everything is possible. You become untouchable, the galaxy bends to your favor. Because you are an instrument of the Force, a tool to enforce it's will. This is what you are capable of when you fight with it instead of against it. You will find it has the same effect on your skill with the lightsaber. When you achieve oneness with the Force, you will move faster than your natural body ever could, you will see everything your opponent is doing, and you will be able to overcome them."

Izel's mood had visibly improved from when Isen had first arrived. It seemed their talk and lesson had helped her greatly to conquer her melancholy. The Vratix looked over her Padawan once more before giving a nod of approval. "There are preparations I'll need to make before we can leave. It will likely take several days." She paused to turn and reach out a hand, Isen's lightsabers flying up from the floor and into her palm. As she looked back at her apprentice she stowed them in one of her bags. "This will be your assignment until that time. Two hours of tutaminis practice every morning and evening. I'll allow you to increase the difficulty level at your own leisure. Try to get to the highest level you can before we leave, but remember to pace yourself. This isn't something that will be helped by rushing. Understood?"

@Isen

 

[Isen Ramm]

Izel Thral's padawan listened carefully to her as she confirmed how the energy and the Force work the same in large part because they were the same. Isen had tested that very hypothesis with the bolts and found that there was merit to the idea. That's why he was much more successful with the training remotes the the second round through. To hear his master confirm it was satisfying.

"There are preparations I'll need to make before we can leave. It will likely take several days," Izel said. Her padawan sighed slightly and pursed his lips every so slightly as the Vratix pulled his lightsabers from off the floor into her care. It seemed like he would not only be without them on the training trip, but she was going to prepare him for that by keeping him lightsaber free for the several days leading up to that first leg. Isen had hoped that he would get a last few days with his lightsabers on his hip because he had no idea how long their training without them would be.

Isen quickly corrected his posture and demeanor and gave her his full attention as she gave him his training instructions to practice his tutaminis twice daily. She asked if he understood her instructions not to rush, and he said, "Yes, Master. Of course."

He would, of course to be inclined to do so because he was impatient. And Izel knew this and was likely the cause of the warning and added instruction. And, truth be told, as soon as she left, he would bump the difficulty up a notch. Probably two notches. He would likely ramp up the speed of the attacks and increase the power of the bolts. If he was feeling extra saucy, he might even add a remote. But, he would of course wait for his Vratix master to leave the training room.

He smiled slightly and bowed. "I'll stay packed and be prepared to leave a moment's notice."

@Reyn

 

[Izel Thral]

Izel could see the fire behind Isen's eyes. It seemed she had succeeded in inspiring him to throw his full effort behind this exercise. And without his lightsaber training to distract him he would likely be that much more dedicated to it. Good, he still had a long way to go before he'd be safe unarmed in a firefight. She returned his bow, a positive mood radiating off of her.

"Good." She replied. "I'll try not to keep us too long..." She paused as she looked back at her Padawan, going over the events of the last few days again in her mind. "I think... Everything is going to be alright." With that she would leave her apprentice on a much more positive note.

As she made her way walking down the hall outside she gripped her pike a bit more tightly as she thought to herself. I'm sorry. She thought, and looked up as she moved. I shouldn't have let myself be so easily discouraged. As usual, you know everything. She let out a little huff, a mixture between amusement and barely contained despair. I get it now. I won't fail you again... I promise.

@Isen
/End Thread