The Training of Darius Dracskul

Solus

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He further tensed up when she walked closer. Something about her put him on edge as he looked down into her face. Maybe it was her simple innocence or the sweet perfume of her hair, or maybe he was allergic to something in this area. For some reason the last option seemed ludicrous. He gripped the tree harder, grasping onto a certain part of the bark.

When she spoke, something in him hardened. "It means nothing to you, does it? You talk of it as if we spoke of the local status of the grain crop." His eyes looked down at her darkly. "Don't you get it?" He asked in a quieter voice, like the eye of a hurricane. "Yes, I can trust you, but I can't trust me!" He said, grabbing the sides of her head as she looked up at him. "Great Force-users of my race could not overcome it, how could I? I'm a demon. Don't you see?" He said, looking down at her with a kind of ferocity, but it wasn't the malicious kind, but the kind of a desperate cornered animal. He didn't want to hurt her.

When he looked down at her, his heart melted, then suddenly froze in fear as he realized he was holding her head in just the right position to... to... to feed of her. Horror passed through him as he let go - he couldn't hurt her, he couldn't touch such sincere innocence and such a childlike want to help. "I... I'm sorry." He said, pulling away.
 
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Lillianne Crasse

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As he grasped her head, she showed no sign of concern, but of simple submission instead. Lillianne was not afraid of him, so she gave him the choice to feed upon her or not, believing he would choose correctly, yet in touch with the Force enough to repel him if he tried.

Still, she was a bit unsettled as he let her go and backed away from her, horrified at his own actions. Catching her breath, she watched him for a moment before talking to him again in her assured voice.

"You aren't a beast. You've just proven that you can control it if you wish. We shall be sure to focus upon that in your training. Everyone has a point at which they can control themselves. Push yourself past that point and you become irrational and impulsive. Yet, I assure you that I will not give up on you. I believe you can control this. Don't fear for me, for I can take care of myself. Now, shall we begin with your training or do you wish to argue with me on this more?" she asked in a bemused way, seeming to not take this seriously, yet her eyes showed him that she indeed did take this seriously.
 

Solus

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He couldn't get the way she looked at him out of her head. As he had grasped her head, she had shown no fear, only simple submission. It frightened him. It also made his heart reach out to her for her kindness and her simple belief in him. Such a rare being deserved such care.

Once more her calm and soothing voice came to him, gentle and reassuring. The way she said it, and the feeling he could see behind her eyes and that his heightened senses could feel made it difficult for him to disbelieve her. For a moment it looked as if he would say something but refrained, until, finally, "I'm so sorry, Lily, I'm so sorry..." He apologized, accidentally using a nickname. "Yes... we can continue... and, Lily? Er, Lillianne?" He asked, in a husky yet gentle tone, "Thank you."
 

Lillianne Crasse

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Lillianne's smile returned to her face at his reaction as she raised a hand dismissing his apology. "There's no need to be sorry for you've done no wrong."

Yet, she knew that this would be a long journey for both of them. He said he trusted her, yet he was scared of how he would react to her teaching and presence. He needed to trust himself, become more comfortable with who he was and what his abilities were. Lillianne hoped she could turn his outlook around and see the gifts Yahweh had given him.

Pointing to chain around his neck and the hidden emblem, she looked into his eyes. "I've seen you finger that pendant when you're nervous or needing a bearing. If I've noticed it, you can be assured others will notice as well. Why do you cherish it so?" she asked, knowing if an opponent were to find this weakness he or she would go for it first. "Is this what you look to when centering yourself?"
 

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She had a nice smile. It helped give him the confidence to almost return it, he wasn't used to it, so it was a brief, silly little grin, a silent 'thank you.' However, all traces of it, even the lingering glint in his eyes were erased when she pointed to his neck. His head immediately jerked down, finding that a bit of the chain did indeed show. He remembered then that this was his tunic with the neck slightly wider than usual, and he had forgotten to make sure the chain stayed hidden, as it usually was. Right away he slid his hands over the collar, hiding the chain once more.

Still... he could not avoid her question. He looked up at her, face emotionless as he thought of how best to say it. "I found it. It... gives me the strength to hold off my craving, or for several minutes of an attack." He recited.
 

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Lillianne dropped her hand to her side and pursed her lips at his answer. Something didn't seem to fall into place with what he told her. She doubted his answer was completely true, yet she decided to let it slide, for now.

"It is good to have a focal point, but if in a crunch time you find yourself without the necklace, what will you do? You cannot rely on anything external, for it can be lost. Instead, you should find a focal point within. Do you understand?" she asked, ready to help him understand the concept.
 

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She he saw her expression, he couldn't help but feel guilty. After all she'd done for him. But, truly, he couldn't think of anything he'd really left out, except how he'd found it, but he didn't think that would rouse her suspicions. But he had to ask. "Lillianne, what's wrong? What do you want to know?" He honestly wanted to come clean with her, but he wasn't sure what she wanted.

"A focal point... within?" he asked, dubiously. He licked his lips as he thought a bit. "How?"
 

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She realized her face conveyed her suspicion of the necklace and quietly sighed, dropping her gaze to the ground.

"It's no matter. How the necklace came into your possession isn't what is important. Yet, your focus upon it is. I am suspicious of articles that hold so much power," she finally admitted to him. "Still, regardless of my suspicions and reservations, you do need to find an inner focal point to focus upon instead. If the necklace becomes lost or broken, what will happen? Do you see what I'm saying?" She paused for a moment and then raised her eyes to the great tree. "Take an image you love, or an image that brings pleasant thoughts to your mind and focus your mind upon it." Lowering her eyes to his again, she took a step closer to him. "By focusing your mind on something that is pleasant or calming, you can open yourself to meditating more easily and maintaining your focus internally.

"Tell me, Darius, what is it that you love?"
 
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Solus

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Oh, so she was interested in where it came from, and she had a pretty good reason why. He thought for a moment before saying, "I want to... tell you. I trust you, and I want you to know I do. I... found it in a cave in the side of a mountain. It looked kind of like a place where a monk would live. It was all ornately decorated in old runes and stuff. I couldn't make out much of it, but from what I gather I think the monk put his power into this," he said, brushing one finger against his neck before pulling out the pendent into the light for the first time in years, "I never told anyone. I was planning to, but on my way out I must have done something, because there was a cave collapse. I felt guilty about destroying so many years of research, and I didn't want to be blamed. Now I haven't told because I need it to keep my sanity." He reiterated to her, looking up into her eyes. "Lily - is it okay if I call you that? And call me River, I feel more comfortable with it - Lily, I... you're so different from anyone I've met... so different from me. Yet I... I think I like you. And... if we're polar opposites, like that... why don't you hate me? You are so kind, Lily." He spoke, softly but huskily, with a tenderness in his eyes. He was grateful for how she so easily accepted him.

Take an image... of something you love? What do I love? "I..." He began, but he could not finish. "Lily, I... I love... I love the... the smell of grain, the feel of the wind, the wild of the forest. I love... I love the memories of my sister... the way she used to be. I love..." There was something deeper, something he could not name, something he could not picture. Something sweet, something wild, something soft, something free. He couldn't name it... "I... I love the dream... of a life... of a good future... of... of... not being alone," No, that wasn't it, but it was close, "but I hate that dream, too, because I have to remain alone. It taunts me."
 

Lillianne Crasse

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A look of concern crossed her face as he retold how he came to have the necklace in his possession. She was wary of the outside world, just as all residents of Kal'Shabbol, yet she had grown more bold since her studies within the Temple of Light. She knew the Ashla touched all life, even the life outside their home. Still, the idea that a man resided in a cave and held such a power seemed wary. It was something she would like to take before the High Priest and ask his opinions about. Yet, until Darius was comfortable with it leaving his sight, she wouldn't risk taking it from him, not until she perceived it to be a threat. Her eyes studied the design, burning it into her memory for later. It was something she would have to research more closely.

Yet, as he spoke about her kindness to him, her smile returned to her features and softened her look.

"I like you too, River, which is why I'm concerned for your safety with that necklace. Perhaps sometime you can take me to where you retrieved it and show me what is left. We could have a special outing. Would that be okay?" she asked him.

As she listened to him tell her what he loved in life, she closed her eyes and began to picture it herself, trying to connect with his mind and share the landscape with him.

"Close your eyes and concentrate on the first. Release from your mind all other thoughts, feelings...let go and place yourself in that field," she urged him in a quiet voice, wanting to remove that last negative thought in his mind, wanting to show him a better way, a better life, a life that could be his.

Most of all, Lillianne wanted to remind him that with the Bendu and the Ashla, he was never alone.
 

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As she looked concernedly at the pendant, and he began to wonder what was going through her strange, innocent mind. What was it like to be so childlike? He was not sure.

He studied her look for a moment, unconsciously moving one hand up to grasp the necklace, almost protectively. He needed that necklace. Needed it. Couldn't she see that? He was desperate. However, he hid these thoughts and instead seamlessly turned his clasping the pendent into his once more hiding it beneath his tunic, making sure this time that the chain did not show.

Something calming touched him when she smiled once more, he wasn't sure why. "Yes, I would like that." He replied to her question about a trip. He began to watch her closely, almost studying her every move as she spoke the next. Obeying her, he shut his eyes and tried to picture a field of grain at harvest time, a sea of gold and the woodsy, fresh smell of grain, twinkling under the sunlight; the labor of months of work come to fruit, the food and the life of so many. He saw it as if from a mountain, then it was as if he was walking though it. Why? Oh, his sister was there, Shiphrah, only she was whole, her bright red hair shining like a beacon. They were playing in the talk stalks. the fresh air, the loss of a breeze, the chirp of the fall insects, the contentment of a hard-working life.

Outwardly, his body began to relax and that which was tense began to loosen as he thought about one of the things he loved.. but not the thing, the thing that he truly, deeply loved; for that love had no name.
 

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Lillianne was pleased with his ability to center himself and let go of the present. It seemed this was the way she would have to have him approach meditation. Gently, she reached out through the Ashla and began to softly touch his mind, just a soft touch to let him know he was not alone.

Now, feel the breeze upon your face and breathe it in deeply, tasting the sweetness of the valley, she urged him in his mind. Reach out with your mind and touch the living things around you, feel the flow of life within them, the flow of the Ashla. Feel its flow even through you, into every particle of your being.
 

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Darius normally would have started upon feeling someone touch his thoughts, but he trusted her, and the touch was so gentle as to be soothing. As it was, though, his thoughts gave a small jerk before he forced them to resume, once more to continue freely. He listened to Lillianne's gentle mental voice prodding him, guiding him. Once more he more fully fleshed out his mind's vision, and once more he filled his thoughts with the smell of grain, and of the fresh air. He imagined breathing deep of such a soothing, promising, steady life. The smell he recalled had always brought to mind the taste of the sweetbread that his sister sometimes made with that grain, a bread that smelled so similar to the grain, yet more sugary, more... honey-y.

Working to obey her, he reached out to try and feel the currents of life around him, from the small flicker of life in he stalks of grain to the buzzing of the fall insects, to the small lagomorphs meters away... up to his own sister, whole, sane. He remembered that feeling, the joy he took in her happiness, and pushed her present state out of his mind. The Shiphrah he saw in his mind had died, leaving him with the Shiphrah of hte present, though this bright-eyed, ginger Anzat he saw before him, as curious and lively as always, was still within that cold metal case, somewhere. Focusing on her like she once was helped give him the strength to go on helping her.

As he focused on all of the different specks of life, as varied as stars about him, he could tell that each thing offered... something akin to a 'tune,' though it was not audible, on a higher plane than audibility. All of the lives had a tune, and 'hearing' them together like this... was a symphony.
 

Lillianne Crasse

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Good, she urged him and decided to turn it more personal now. Now, center your thoughts upon the gentle flow of the Ashla through you. Follow that natural flow out of your body and around us. Follow it as it fluxuates and flows through the tree near us, the grass, the insects and even within me. Then, let your mind follow its gentle flowing and see how far it can take you.
 

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She seemed to approve of how he was doing as she urged him to push himself farther. He let out a slow breath as he worked to try to do so. He deepened his concentration as he tried to reach out around him, though this was difficult. For some reason he was having a hard time focusing on the present as he tried to listen to the currents of life about him. Of all thing, he could hear best the tree, old and strong, having seen many things happen, so many that it could probably fill a library with what it knew passively in its sage knowledge. Its voice was deep, but still it was muted and quiet. He could not hear the other plants or the insects, he didn't know where to look for them. Except for the grass, of course, but their harmonious voices were too quiet for his senses to pick up on.

At last, he allowed himself to obey her last mandate, and his concentration reached out, as gently as he could, to touch her soul and life. He let out a soft gasp once he had, and could not help but push to feel more of that precious life. He hoped he was not hurting her, his soul and thoughts had been so very sensitive to her touch, but he could not help himself. He voice... the voice of her life... was the melody. Everything around him sang only to compliment her voice, she was the lead. It was beautiful.

He soul shone, like a beacon in the night to lead others safely home. Its sweetness grew intoxicating as he gently drew his soul closer to her own. A free, almost wild voice, tamed only by the Ashla about them. He was not harsh, at least he was trying so hard not to be, as he so gently touched the beauty that was her life.
 

Lillianne Crasse

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Lillianne followed his progress, trying to help him as he made an attempt to locate the life around them, even the smallest of lives, yet when his mind made contact with her own, she relaxed and allowed him the chance to see what life with the Ashla and the training of the Bendu could do. Yet, she locked away her own training from him, not wanting to reveal their innermost secrets until the time he was ready to receive them.

Bracing herself as he began to push himself further into her subconscience, she began to push him away, gently at first and them more noticably the more he became disconnected from his own self and tried to merge with her mind.

"River," she said, opening her eyes and reaching out to him, trying to pull him back into himself.
 

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Upon hearing his name, his eyes snapped open as reality sprang back into vision and the Ashla about him grew silent. He looked up at her, eyes open, arm outstretched towards him as she looked at him with such kindness. Having felt some of the emotion behind those eyes he could not help but see her in a different light, one that only made him enjoy her company more.

As something occurred to him, the almost gentleness in his eyes as he looked into hers vanished, replaced with a kind of worry. "Lily, did I hurt you?" he asked, concerned.
 

Lillianne Crasse

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OOC: Correction of our training...lol. I've been referring to the Force as "the Ashla" when in fact it's been the "Force of Others". I'm sorry, but I won't do it again. My bad! *looks sheepish*

"No, no you didn't hurt me, but you were about to go somewhere where you must tread very carefully. Just as you and I can feel the Force of Others, we can also manipulate it. We of the Bendu and others that follow the ways of the Ashla seek to do good, however there are others that do evil. Some use this unique gift to manipulate others and force them to do things against their wills. You must promise me that you'll never try to enter the mind of another until we are further in our training," she urged him, concerned for his safety as well as others he might come across.

The very fact that he was able to begin establishing such a link truly spoke of his abilities and promise within the Order. Lillianne just hoped that she could help lead him in the way of a true and noble Knight with the knowledge she now possessed.
 

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((No problem, I don't know the difference much. Lol))

He nodded as she spoke, almost able to hear the meaning behind her words, and not the audible kind. He could almost hear the emotion, hear the thoughts that went on as her musical voice brushed his ears. He understood a part of her now, after what had happened. He nodded his affirmation of the promise, wondering what she meant. He was not sure, but he knew she meant it for his own good.

He began to look at her, not longingly, but curiously, and more looking into her eyes than anything else, with a deep piercing gaze. At last he spoke, "You remind me of Shiphrah... before... her accident, I mean."
 

Lillianne Crasse

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Lillianne knew the young man had not connected much with others at the Bendu Temple. It was important to her to learn as much as she could about him not only to train him appropriately, but to let him know he wasn't alone.

"I'm hoping that's a compliment," Lillianne said in a light voice, wanting to lighten the mood a little. "Is Shiphrah someone close to you?" she asked him.
 
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